Author Note: This week has been very shit. Putting it nicely. So please be nice to me. I'm all sad and stuff.
Disclaimer: I don't own Silent Hill, Walter Sullivan, Michael Kaufmann or Heather Mason. I also don't own the Pyramid Head Show that belongs to TruesonofJenova. So do the Producers.
Once again the show has been moved to another location in Silent Hill. This week Walter and his crew are in a studio next door to studio where the Pyramid Head Show is filmed. Naturally Team Sacrament is quite paranoid. With the exception of Walter who has his trusty Spoon of Doom to defend himself with. Of course if his spoon should fail him all Walter has to do is summon the ghosts of his victims and let them do his dirty work.
In an odd turn of events there has not been any shady meeting between Walter and Dr. Kaufmann. A stange package was delivered to Walter in the early hours of the morning: most likely nothing interesting though. People have packages delivered early morning all the time.
All Walter has done since the last edition is play with his pet monkey Boris and go fishing on Toluca Lake. Fishing is Walter's favourite hobby. Of course killing and stalking come first. After a day off killing and stalking there is nothing better than sitting in a boat, with a keg of beer and a fishing rod. Very relaxing. Of course there are people that would like to spoil Walter's relaxation. Such as the producers of the Pyramid Head Show. They are just a minor inconvience.
After the carnage of the Split Head Dogs at Rose Water Part; new guard dogs were hired. The Demon Dogs from Harry Mason's adventure in Silent Hill have guard duty this time. However they are not very good at this job. Rather than keep out unwanted visitors; they have chosen to chase Harry on the streets. After all Harry is who they want to kill. They could not give a damn if the show is a success or not. The only reason they got this job in the first place is because the Closers have a phobie of the outside world. However that is another story for another day or night.
As the Demon Dogs chase Harry a large crowd of monsters and humans come charging from the studio next door. They all make a sharp turn and enter the studio where the latest edition of the 21 Sacraments Game Show is about to be filmed. The Demon Dogs then chase Harry into the studio. A few second a very annoyed Pyra enters the studio. He is either there to check on the competition or because he gets no respect. Either way nobody really cares.
On cue the annoying cheesy theme music starts to play. A few seconds later Walter appears on the set of the show. He seems to be overly joyful. In fact you could say he is extremely happy. Which with Walter's blood-stained face looks quite disturbing. He has either just been on a killing spree or has been attending to some other happy buisness. It is at this point Walter begins prancing around the set; kissing any human or monster that is in his path. He then prances to the centre of the set and stands there with a big smile on his face. He certainly looks pleased with himself.
"Hiya. Welcome to another edition of the 21 Sacraments Game Show." Walter welcomes the audience. His voice seems to be higher than usual. Almost as if he has been breathing in helium. The audience applaud and give him odd looks. However this does not discourage our happy-homcidal-host. "I love this part of the show. It is time to introduce this weeks contestants." Walter says while clapping and jumping from foot to foot.
After five minutes of this odd display of perkiness Walter finally calms down enough to introduce the first contestant. "Our first contestant today comes all the way from Alchemilla Hospital. His hobbies are drug dealing, having a hand in the birth of God and saying 'Quit screwing around'. He also likes sunsets and long walks on the beach. Please give a nice warm welcome to Doctor Michael Kaufmann."
Kaufmann walks onto the set out of breath. Afterall he did run from the studio next to be here. He had been doing his usual buisness of dealing drugs when he was caught and put on the Pyramid Head Show. He managed to escape after a series of odd occurances and crowds of monster leaving said studio. However this still has not destroyed the perkiness that seems to have gripped Walter. It is like he is high on perkiness.
"Our second contestant for today comes all the way from Daisy Villa Apartments. Her hobbies are being a Daddy's Girl, killing monsters, preventing the birth of God and being a rude little humbug to Vincent and Claudia. She also enjoys a light Springs rain and dancing naked in the forest. Please give another warm welcome to Heather Mason." Walter says as once again the audience applauds and give him odd looks. Heather appears from out of nowhere onto the set. She glances at Walter and Kaufmann before wrinkling her nose at them both. "Great. More crazy people."
"Now that isn't nice Heather. Play nice." Walter scolds Heather with mock anger in his voice. Although his voice has no longer is high. Instead it now has a slight lisp to it. "Question Round." Walter shouts with excitment. "Oh I just love the questions round. I love it. There is only a possible three points in this round. If you get six you must have cheated." Walter says with the joy of a child who has just been given ice cream.
"First question. Very easy. What is the red liquid that is thrown on Alessa?" Walter asks trying to wipe the excited smile off his face. Heather looks around blankly. Kaufmann on the other hand looks rather smug.
"The answer, Walter, is Algaophotis." Kaufmann says this as a smug smile threatens to appear on his face.
"That is the correct answer Doctor." Walter announces with so much that it makes the audience grin from ear to ear. It seems Walter's perkiness is rubbing off onto the audience. "I guess Karma came to bite Heather for being such an unhappy goose when she first came. Sorry Heather you have no points. While Michael has one point."
The audience applaudes for no reason whatsoever. Possibly due to the perky bug they appeared to have caught from Walter. While the audience continue to cheer a loud explosion can be heard in the distance. What caused the explosion is unknown. Why there was an explosion is also unknown. One thing for sure is that is could not be anything good. However the explosion went unheard by everyone in the studio.
With a boost of energy Walter springs into asking the next question of the round. "Next question. What is the colour of Harry's socks?" Heather groans loudly and rolls her eyes. She can not quite believe how stupid the question. It is below the standard of stupidity she is used to. Like naming sewer monsters Greg.
"He wears tights you moron." Heather answers. In the audience, to prove Heather correct, Harry rolls up his bell bottom trousers to reveal he is indeed wearing tights. Why Harry is wearing tights is unknown. It is something that should be left that way. It is already bad enough that the world knows he wears tights. It is also unknown why everything in Silent Hill seems to be unknown. Not like anyone actually cares though.
"Walter, I do believe he doesn't wear socks." Kaufmann answers after seeing Harry show off his tights to the world. Kaufmann is most certainly not an idiot. If he does not know the answer to something he will search for clues. Harry is an idiot. He gave the answer to Kaufmann by showing off his tights.
"Looks like Heather is still a grumpy guts." Walter once again pokes fun at Heather while continue to be unnaturally perky. "The correct answer is Harry does not wear socks. So the Doctor now has two points and Heather has none." In the audience Harry shakes a disapproving finger at Heather for getting the answer to the question. Despite being an idiot he still knows what Kaufmann done. Meaning Harry hates Kaufmann. He hates Dahlia aswell but also fears her.
As Harry begins hissing at Kaufmann; Walter springs into action once again with super perkiness. "I've ran out of questions. Boy is my face red." Walter tells his contestants; ignoring the Harry's hissing. "So we're just going to assume that you both got the answer correct. The scores are now Heather one point. Clever Heather. Three points to the Doctor. So after this round the Doctor is winning." In the audience Harry cheers for Heather.
"Next round: Hug-A-Teddy-Bear"
Five Minutes Later
We find Walter and the two contestants stand on the side of the set. In front of Kaufmann there are five Demon Teddy Bears. In front of Heather there is another five Demon Teddy Bears. All ten Teddy Bears are snarling and growling at the contestants in front of them. Heather eyes the five in front of her in fear. Kaufmann looks at the five in front of him. It appears they are related to Snuggles who tragically died at the hand of Harry. Kaufmann has vowed revenge for the death of his lover.
The perky Walter smiles at his two contestants. "The rules of this round are very simple, my two little sweet bees. All you have to do is hug each of the Teddy Bears. The first to hug all five, wins. Then go get some Teddy Bear hugs." Walter says joyfully. He then begins prancing around on the set once again. Whatever he had been doing before the show started has certainly lasted for a long, long time.
For Kaufmann hugging the five Teddy Bears is easy. Afterall they pretty close to being a family. They would be too if Harry and his handgun had not came along. Kaufmann gives each bear a friendly hug. Afterwards he starts a conversation about drug dealing and politics. Both drug dealing and politics are evil. So it is quite a relaxing conversation for the five Teddy Bears and Kaufmann. As was said they are pretty close to being a family.
Heather is not doing quite so well with the task of hugging a Teddy Bear. In fact she is currently running one of them. It seems the bears are not too found with Heather's attitude. So rather than being nice and friendly, they have decided to attack the teenager. At this point she has used two health drinks to heal herself. Where she got them is actually known. Harry gave them to her. He also gave her the sub-machine gun she is holding and not using. One of the bears snags the hem of her skirt. In anger, Heather whirls around and empties the clip of the sub-machine gun in the creatures. She has failed the task.
Walter sighs at the carnage before him. Kaufmann glares at Heather for killing half of his family. Heather laughs nervously and looks at the dead bears. "The round was called Hug-A-Teddy-Bear not Kill-A-Teddy-Bear. Looks like this time Doctor Michael Kaufmann is the winner. Time for Heather to die." Walter says sounding almost sad. Kaufmann pull a vial of Algaophotis out of briefcase and throws it at Heather. The vial smashes on impact with Heather. Incubus then bursts out of Heather's back; killing her instantly. This triggers the boss fight and Harry proceeds to starts shooting at the demon.
While this is happening two stange looking men enter the studio. The best way to describe them would be Albert Wesker Rejects. Actually it would be better to describe them as The Matrix Rejects but since The Matrix is not all that interesting, Albert Wesker Rejects it is. The name tags on their clothes read 'PHS Producer no.4' and 'PHS Producer no.5.' Both Rejects approach Walter who is watching the boss fight. Upon seeing the two men Pyra dives to the ground.
"Please don't let them take me to the basement of Brookhaven Hospital." Pyra begs the nearby audience memeber.
Walter turns and smiles at the men. "More Pyramid Head Show producers. I love you guys." Walter happily shouts and then proceeds to give both of them a hug. Both men give Walter an odd look. They look around the studio trying to figure out if they indeed in the correct studio. Appearances alone tell them they; the man in front of them tells them they are not.
"I think we are in the wrong studio." Producer no.5 mumbles to Producer no.4. Producer no.4 nods in agreement. "Maybe they are at the ruins of the studio Producer no.7 was. God rest his soul." With that both the producers leave Walter and the studio behind; heading towards Downtown Silent Hill.
"Goodbye" Walter shouts cheerfully after them. "See you next time on the 21 Sacraments Game Show."
Next time on 21 Sacraments Game Show: Maria vs Joseph Schreiber. PLUS: Special Guests and a visit to a new location that isn't in Silent Hill.
Author Note: Enjoy. Hope so. Oh yeah, this does not reflect my opinon of the film The Matrix. I've only ever seen trailors for it.
Quick Disclaimer: Don't own Albert Wesker or The Matrix.
Doctor G. Reaper: Next time you're on MSN we need to chat. I have a request. DJ knows about it.
Whispers-Of-Crimson: I'm going to use that idea in a future chapter. I quite like it. I just wanted this chapter to be happy fun fun since Walter is all perky and happy. Blah.
SyberiaWinx: Glad you're still loving it. Yup, Walter rocks.
pikinanou: Dahlia stripping. Well thats a cause for a lot of nightmares. Damn, the image is burnt into my mind. Lollipops shall cure that though. Keep dishing out the lollipops and I'll keep this fic updated. wink wink
DarkJesterKID: Yes, the awesome DJness. Val appears in chapter 20. Yes, more comics pretty please. Love to see some of this fic aswell. You are awesome.