Hey guys! (Shields self) ok this time I guess I do have a rather long delay to be sorry for. Had to put it on hold for a bit but now I'm back in action! So yeah not too long until the end now! Hope you all enjoy and please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own friends or anything to do with them etc.

Incomplete

Chapter 12

Chandler stood in front of the door, checking himself over one last time. He had no idea why he was so nervous, he really wanted this night to go well. He knocked on the door and waited. After a few moments Mary answered.

"Oh hi, um I'm picking up Monica, is she ready?" Chandler asked with a grin. Mary looked at him with a sad expression.

"I'm sorry dear but Monica had to go to the hospital, she came down sicker than we thought" She said sympathetically.

"Oh, do you know what hospital?" Chandler asked.

"St George's about five minutes from here" She replied kindly.

"Thank you" Chandler said and hurried back to the taxi.

"St George's hospital please" Chandler said to the driver. He suddenly had an uneasy feeling in his stomach, he hoped she was alright.

Chandler walked down the corridor, a bunch of flowers in his hands. He quickly scanned the numbers on the door until he found the one he was looking for. He gently knocked on the door before opening it.

"Chandler!" Ross exclaimed as he jumped up from his seat next to Monica's bed.

"Hey Ross" Chandler replied, hugging his friend.

"Mon told me you were back, man I can't believe how longs it's been" Ross said almost excitedly.

"Yeah I know, I'm so sorry for leaving you guys" Chandler said, bowing his head. Ross patted him on the shoulder.

"Hey, we're just glad to have you back" Ross said, smiling.

His smile quickly dropped as Chandler looked past him at Monica. She was asleep; she was surrounded by machines and looked awfully sick.

"What happened?" Chandler asked softly. He stood over Monica's bed and gently brushed a lock of hair off her forehead.

"You mean she didn't tell you?" Ross asked nervously. He didn't want to be the one who had to do this.

"Tell me what?" Chandler questioned. The uneasy feeling grew worse and worse.

Ross bit his lip and let out a long breath.

"She has cancer" He replied sadly.

Chandler stared at him in shock, he could believe what he had just heard. The flowers in his hand dropped to the floor. Monica's voice played over and over in his head 'I've just had a really bad flu'. Tears burned Chandler's eyes as he tried to comprehend.

"H.how bad?" He asked as his voice broke.

A tear slowly rolled down Ross' cheek as he watched over his little sister.

"It's breast cancer, it spread to far before they could stop it though…s.she's going to die" Ross replied as more and more tears spilled.

Chandler closed his eyes, he had accepted the fact that Monica had really loved him this whole time and now he was going to loose her again. Ross wiped his tears away and looked up at Chandler.

"You ok man?" He asked in a shaky voice.

Chandler stared at a spot on the floor. He couldn't take this, he couldn't handle the sounds of the machines that were now pounding in his head along with his harsh breathing. He glanced at Ross with tear filled eyes for a moment before he turned and silently walked out the room. Ross sighed at looked over at Monica one more time before following Chandler out the room.

"Chandler wait!" Ross called down the hall but Chandler didn't stop. Ross ran to catch up to him.

"Where are you going?" Ross asked him as he grabbed him arm.

"Don't touch me!" Chandler screamed, pulling away.

He was fighting to hold the tears back and Ross could see him physically shaking. Ross quickly looked around, he had to calm Chandler down or they would both be kicked out. He opened the nearest door and looked it, the sun room, perfect. Ross grabbed Chandler arm again and pulled him into the room.

"Chandler. I'm sorry you had to find out like this" Ross told him as Chandler began to pace the room, hands tangled in his hair.

It's not fair!" Chandler screamed. Ross grabbed both of Chandler's wrists.

"I know this is hard but you have to try and calm down or we will get kicked out" Ross told him sternly.

"How the hell am I supposed to calm down?" Chandler cried, tears now steaming down his face.

"Chandler please just sit down" Ross told him. It broke Ross' heart to see him like this and he was struggling to keep strong for him.

Chandler's harsh breathing soon turned into wracking sobs.

"Why? Why are they taking her away from me?" Chandler sobbed.

Ross sat him on the couch and pulled him into a hug.

"I don't know Chan, I asked the same question" He replied as his voice began to shake again.

"It's not fair, it's not fair" Chandler kept muttering as he buried his face into Ross' shirt.

Ross let a few silent tears roll down his cheeks. "I know" He whispered.

Chandler slowly opened his eyes and was met with pure white ceiling. Panic overtook him and he quickly shot up, realising he was in a bed.

"Hey take it easy" Chandler could hear Ross' voice. He looked up as Ross came over to his bed.

"What happened?" Chandler asked breathing hard.

"You fainted in the sun room" Ross stated.

Chandler looked down at the hospital bed he was laying on. He was still fully clothed which he was thankful for. Suddenly he realized why he had fainted in the first place. He quickly jumped off of the bed, instantly regretting it as he suddenly felt dizzy. Ross grabbed him and steadied him.

"Hey be careful man, don't you think you should rest for a bit?" Ross suggested.

Chandler shook his head.

"I have to go see her, please?" Chandler looked at Ross with pleading eyes.

Ross looked at him with uncertainty for a moment then nodded and let him go.

"I'm going to go get some coffee, you want some?" He asked. Chandler nodded and headed out the room.

Monica opened her eyes and squinted against the bright light, she would never get use to that. She slowly turned her head to the side to see if anyone was in the room. She found Chandler sitting in the chair, his head buried in his hands. He looked deep in thought. Life wasn't fair. She finally had a chance to make up for what she had done, to change it all but now, now she would never be able to give him the life he deserved.

"Hey" She whispered to him. Chandler's head shot up at the sound of her voice.

"Hey" He replied with a small smile.

"I'm sorry I missed dinner" She told him softly.

"I'll take a rain check" Chandler grinned. Monica smiled in return.

There was a long awkward silence between them.

"I.I know the real reason you're here" Chandler muttered as he stared at his hands. Monica signed.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you yesterday, I was just so shocked and happy to see you" She began to explain.

"Doesn't matter" Chandler mumbled, brushing it off.

Monica fell silent, she watched him for a moment as he struggled to fight back the tears.

"I really did want to marry you Mon, I wanted to spend my whole life with you, if I could take it all back I would" Chandler said as he let out a tiny sob.

He didn't want to cry in front of her, he didn't want to make her upset but he couldn't help it. Just the thought that she would never be able to live the life she wanted, see her little boy grow up or have any more children. The thought that he would never be able to hold her in his arms and tell her much she means to him, how much she always has. Monica reached over and placed a hand on Chandler's cheek.

"None of this is your fault sweetie, it's just…the way it has to be" She told him softly.

"But it's not fair" Chandler sniffed. He stood up from his seat and began to pace the room.

"I should never have left, maybe…maybe things would be different" Chandler started to mutter out loud.

"Chandler please, you can't possibly be blaming yourself for this. It could have happened to anyone" Monica tried to assure him.

"Well it shouldn't! It shouldn't have happened to you" Chandler said, raising his voice slightly.

"I deserve this after what I done to you" Monica murmured, tears filling her eyes.

Chandler stopped in his tracks and stared at her in shock. He walked over and grabbed Monica by the shoulders.

"Don't say that, don't you ever say that again!" Chandler yelled.

Monica burst into tears and so did Chandler. He sat on the bed and pulled her into his embrace.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry" Chandler muttered as he cradled her in his arms.

"So am I" Monica whispered back.

The door opened and Ross walked in carrying two steaming coffees.

"Hey you're awake…oh have I come at a bad time?" Ross asked once he saw the two crying on the bed.

"No man you're cool" Chandler replied. He stood up from the bed and wiped a hand over his face before taking his coffee from Ross.

"I think I'm gonna go take a walk, get some air" Chandler said.

"Ok" Monica replied, nodding. And with that Chandler left the room.

"I think he'll need awhile to adjust I mean I'm guessing this wasn't exactly what he had in mind when he came back to New York" Ross said, sighing.

"I feel awful putting him through this. The one thing I wanted was for him to come back so that I could tell him that I'm sorry and how much I love him, but now I'm starting to wish he never came back" Monica muttered sadly.

"Aw Mon don't say that, he knows that you love him and he loves you too and that's all that matters" Ross told her as he sat down on the side of her bed. Monica felt the tears ready to fall again as she looked up at her brother.

"I just don't want to hurt him anymore Ross" She whispered. Ross didn't know what to say. He leaned over and hugged her close as she cried.

Sniff. I'll hopefully have the next chapter up soon! If you like please review!