Along Came A Spider…

Xelloss phased in to the physical plane, landing on a tree branch high above the forest floor. Every few days he'd been popping in for a quick check on their progress. Simply watching them travel without being able to harass them is no fun at all, Xelloss mused as he watched the respective auras of the Chimera and Lina, as they wended their way through the forest. Nothing had happened for days on end, however, making this part of his work very tedious. He had decided to do some scouting further ahead in an effort to quell his growing sense of ennui. Too much peace and quiet was just no good for his constitution. Thankfully however, they would be getting out of this uninhabited backwater in southern Seyruun soon enough, where the path intersected a major trade route. He was certain then that the entertainment factor of his job would quickly rise. He looked down to see what Lina was doing. He couldn't imagine how she could handle this mind-numbing monotony. Yes, she was bored; he could feel the sullen lump of it, dragging her down, making her… Skip? Eh? Lina's aura was definitely bouncing down the path. He had to get a little closer than this. He phased out, disappearing only to reappear about twenty feet above their heads. This is a new development at least… Curiously, he then peered a little more closely at Zelgadis. He seems to be… Limping? Hmmm. Yes, he certainly was. Xelloss drifted a little closer so he could hear their conversation. Or rather, their argument, he smirked to no one in particular as the breeze brought him snatches of words spoken angrily.

"Well, Zelgadis, whether you saw him or not doesn't matter right now, since he hasn't shown up to bother us. What we need to concentrate on right now is your form!" She had stopped skipping and was standing in front of Zelgadis, blocking his way. "You're too sprightly for anyone to take you for an old man! I've been busting my ass, skipping, picking flowers and acting as much the innocent girl—not that I'm not—that I can and you're not doing your share! We've been in this damned forest for an entire day and night, and we haven't been attacked yet!" Xelloss's right eyebrow quirked in amusement as comprehension dawned on him. "You aren't pathetic enough!" Lina thumped Zelgadis's shoulder peevishly. "Hey! Are you listening to me? You need to walk a little slower, and hunch over more!"

Zelgadis straightened up and turned to face her. "If I did see Xelloss, we do need to worry about him. Mazoku are trouble we don't need," he finished angrily. "Besides, I really don't think there are any bandits in these woods. Look, my back is getting sore from all this hunching over! If you want us to be some target to draw more bandits in for an attack, then think up something new, because I've had enough of this ridiculous charade." He brushed past the seething sorceress, obviously feeling the conversation finished.

Definitely my cue, Xelloss thought as he phased in behind Lina, laughing all the while over their idiotic ploy. "Oh! So that's what you two were up to!" Both of them turned in shock to see—

"Xelloss!" Zelgadis smiled at him dangerously. "Speak of the Devil, and he really does appear…"

Xelloss smiled sunnily at the Chimera and raised his hands as a placating gesture. "Really, Grandpa Zelgadis! I'm not that bad, am I? I loved your performance, by the way." His voice dripped with sincerity.

The Chimera clenched a fist and pointed a shaking finger accusingly at him. "You can't be asking me that seriously, can you?! Yes, you—as a Mazoku--are that bad!" Zelgadis managed to choke out. Xelloss observed that Zelgadis looked like he might explode. Hmm! I think the drunk in the tavern was right—Chimera or no, he is tense!

He smirked at Zelgadis before replying, "Thank you! Actually, I was working in this area and I felt my ears burning--so to speak--because someone was bad-mouthing me! When I checked to see who it was, imagine my surprise and hurt when I saw it was my old comrade, Zelgadis!" Once again, not entirely a lie! He proceeded to pretend looking hurt. Neither human looked like they were in the mood to play his games though.

Lina had been quiet while he was busy Chimera-baiting, but now she spoke up. "Xelloss, I don't think I care what you were doing here, but right now you're interrupting an actor's meeting we're having." She raised her hand to her forehead, as this entire situation was giving her a headache. "We have to figure out what to do now, if Zelgadis wants to throw a fit rather than follow my brilliant plan."

Zelgadis rounded on Lina now, really ticked off now that Xelloss had him going. "Well, if you want to follow your 'brilliant' plan, why don't you try hunching over for a day or two—and we can be a young man and his old mother!"

"Denied! Absolutely and unequivocally!" Lina crossed her arms and huffed as she turned her head away from him.

"Denied? Why? Are you admitting you couldn't keep up the act as long as I did?"

Much like at a brass rackets match, Xelloss's attention had been going from one human to the other as they faced off. Naturally, this silly argument had him feeling put out a bit that they could forget him so easily. "Uh, guys…" Situations always get so out of hand when Lina's around. I'm the Mazoku here—attention should remain on me

"Of course I could keep it up! I'm just saying a cute, petite little body like mine could never look decrepit like that!" Lina tossed her hair back and grinned airily at Zelgadis. That cuts it, if two humans can turn their backs on a Mazoku to argue over something so silly, it's either time to retire or it's time for drastic measures! I may get pounded to a pulp, but that's fun, too.

Before Zelgadis could make any sort of reply, Xelloss leaned in close to Lina from behind and murmured into her ear, "You're right about that, dearest Lina!" His breath on her ear caused her to gasp slightly, gooseflesh popping up on her neck and arms. "…There would be no need for subterfuge if you knew the secret I know," his lips brushed lightly over her ear, and he smiled darkly, raising his eyes just in time to see the Chimera's slight shudder of revulsion. He looked torn between turning away in disgust or; actually interfering with Xelloss's entertainment.

Too late he realized, as he suddenly found himself in a chokehold, that his attention had wandered too far from Lina. As she growled and grated out his name, he made the obligatory gagging noises they expected. I can't imagine she could actually fool herself into believing this hurts me in any way…he pondered. He glanced at Zelgadis; although it looks like the Chimera could, noting the faintly gloating expression on the other's face. Lina's forearm dug a little deeper into his windpipe, and Zelgadis actually cracked a smile. Xelloss opened his eyes, looked at the Chimera and grinned back. Maybe from Lina's point of view Xelloss was still struggling; Zelgadis was horrified to find out otherwise as he saw the Mazoku rubbing his cheek into the side of the unsuspecting sorceress's small breast and gloating at him. In the interests of wiping the smile off Zelgadis's face and putting one on my own, this works well enough. Heh heh. Didn't realize stone could turn that pale. His smile widened.

Zelgadis choked a bit and collected himself. "L-Lina." He looked very uncomfortable but tried again in starts and stumbles. "Ahem. Uh, Lina? I don't think… Uh, Lina, you're actually …not hurting him. "The statement trailed off in a mumble as Zel blushed, saying, "Just… just drop him, alright?"

Lina dropped her smirking mazoku 'victim' to the ground. "Huh? Oh, sure." She looked down at him as he got back up. "Strangling you isn't getting us anywhere, Xelloss. Do you have something to tell us or not?" She put one hand on her hip and gestured at the forest in general. "We have places to go. Bandits to torch, loot to steal—you know, that sort of thing. I feel the need to blow off some steam." She pinned him with a look and with exasperation added, "Spill it, or I'm gone."

"Such impatience," he sighed as he straightened up and dusted off his cloak, feigning his own exasperation in return. "Well, since you humans are so relatively short-lived, it's no wonder you're in such a hurry." Lina quirked her eyebrow at him and turned away, headed down the path.

"Nice way you've got with words, mazoku." Zelgadis spat at him as he turned to follow Lina.

Xelloss stood on the path and watched them go deeper into the forest. To their retreating backs he called, "Was it something I said?" The smile faded after he heard no reply. Lina usually was willing to give him more leeway than that. Something he'd said, hmm? The odd quirk of her eyebrow she'd given him suggested he'd unthinkingly hit on something. Save that questioning for later, though. Of course, he was quite sure the Chimera wasn't helping matters by getting her all riled up. Not to mention his attitude towards myself dearly deserves a very bloody readjustment. Lina would probably be much more willing to play his games if she were all alone… Surely a chance for a divisive wedge would present itself sooner or later; he would be sure to take it, although he wished the more direct route were possible.

As amusing as her friends sometimes were, it was a shame he couldn't just kill them and be done with it. Unfortunately, there was a game he had to play as well, and for now… As much as he didn't like it that was against the rules.

Author's notes: Yahoo! Chapter nine! All good things come in their own time my dears and now here we are! Anonymous posters, remember when reviewing; please be kind enough to add your email address if you are posting. I enjoy reading your reviews, however, if I need to ask for clarification on some point you didn't like—I won't be able to if there is no email. Thanks!