Radio Free Harry Potter

Harry sure was excited. He was going to be on the air for the first time. His radio show was going to be the greatest thing since that guy from Florida that did stuff. He was going to discuss politics and be very non biased. His first segment was going to be an interview with none other then President Bush. The excitement unfolds:

Harry: So George bush how are you doing

Bush: I am doing goodly.

Harry: terrific. Now, I heard from a very reliable source that you were considering getting tentacles surgically placed into your anus. Is this true?
Bush: yes mam

Harry: Excellent. I also heard that when you drank Gatorade you turn a shade of orange.

Bush: actually it's red. I turn red.

Harry: Is it true that you have a strange love for pastries.

Bush: teehee it's very true!

Harry: Is it also true that your two daughters are in fact loveable sitcom characters whom love to get into wacky situations like asking the same guy to the dance?

Bush: No, they're both whores.

Ron: Oh no he didn't

Bush: yes I did.

Harry: yah Ron shut up.

Ron: hey this is my radio show too!

Harry: no your just the sound effects guy. You push buttons anyone can do that job.

Ron: No, I push the buttons very goodly.

Bush: Doesn't anyone want to talk about my bizarre love of goat milk?

Ron: No

Harry: hey you don't make the decisions here bitch Maybe I wanted to hear about how Boobs are good.

Ron: but that's not what he was saying

Harry: shut up. If you say one more thing I will fire you.

Bush: Okay so as I was saying goat's milk has always been very dear to me and-

Harry: hey did I say you could talk.

Bush: I don't believe so

Harry: that's what I thought this is MY show not yours.

Snape: can I take of this George bush mask now I am tired of pretending to be Bush.

Harry: you were very convincing.

Snape: but George bush doesn't like goat's milk. Or boobs for that matter.

Harry: GET OUT OF MY STUDIO NOW.

Snape: yes mam.

Harry: now as I was saying, I forgot to take my pill today so if I start going crazy then hre st74tyh4tut

Ron: Hey is he dead?

Snape: somebody poke him.

Ron: I'm not doing it

Snape: you have to, you're the sound guy, do you think anyone really cares about you?

Ron: SAY WHAT!

Snape: just do it.

Well, needless to say Ron found out that Harry was lactating. (I mean fainted) So after the producer (MALFOY) came in and urinated on Harry for awhile (among other things) Harry got up and proceeded to do his next segment, "Take off your clothes or get beaten Thursday"

Harry: all right its time for some TAKE OFF YORU CLOTHES OR GETT BEATEN THURSDAY

Ron: but mate, its Tuesday.

Harry: what did I tell you about talking?

Ron: it causes AIDS?

Harry: that's right, besides it's a sausage fest in here, and its my radio show damn it so its now take off your clothes or get eaten Thursday

Ron: but mate, isn't it take off your clothes or get beaten?

Harry: perhaps, but until I can conjure up enough brain cells to care, here is Herminoey, and I see she's wearing clothes…this is upsetting.

Herminoey: what you are doing is anti women and not very good at all Harold Potter.

Harry: wha?

Herminoey: that's right! Asking women to take their clothes off its WRONG

Harry: but Herminoey, you're a whore, you shouldn't have problems with it.

Herminoey: Well, that may be true, and it is, but I am not taking my clothes off.

Harry: so what your saying is, if I killed Ron right now, then you'd take your clothes off.

Herminoey: yes.
Harry then lunges at Ron and beats him with a lamp till he's unconscious then takes out his trusty pocket knife and tears out Ron's heart and savagely eats it while Ron watches in horror, then dies.

Harry: well, I took care of that, so how about taking off those undapants!

Herminoey: Um, Harry, its underpants not undapants

Harry: if one more person corrects my grammar today I will EAT THEM! YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO RON!

Herminoey: Well okay then…!

And so Herminoey took her clothes off and everyone forgot all about how Ron's corpse was rotting on the ground a mere 5 feet from the naked Herminoey. Meanwhile Snape's Radio show: "Snape in DA morning" was losing viewers due to Radio Free Harry. The ensuing Radio rivalry would shake the earth and cause many hurt feelings. But unfortunately, ladies and gentleman, you'll have to wait for chapter two of this wonderful tale to find out exactly what happened!