DISCLAIMER, YO

I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion; Gainax and Hideaki Anno do. I'm just a 16-year-old fanboy from Alaska.

This chapter contains a phone conversation, placed in braces, like this. Please read and review. Thanks. – C.o.W.

Chapter 9 – Lost and Found

Slowly, Asuka Langley Soryu emerged from her dark bedroom. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying. Her face was emotionless. She stared at Shinji Ikari as she walked up to him.

"Asuka-san?" he asked softly.

"Baka-Shinji," she replied without any hint of feeling. For a moment, it was if Shinji was talking to none other than Rei Ayanami again. The redhead came in to be only inches from his face. Mana Kirishima, on the couch, had woken up and was watching the scene between the teenagers unfold.

"What's wrong?" asked the boy.

"Everything."

"What do you mean?"

"It is time for me to leave."

"What!"

"I am leaving Japan, Shinji."

"What! Why?"

"I wish to return to my real home, in Germany."

"But your friends are here!"

"I have no friends."

"Yes, you do! You have Hikari, and Mana, and Ritsuko, and Ka—"

"Kaji does not care for me, and I have lied to myself. I know that I cannot love him."

Shinji wanted to agree. Asuka had always been idealistic to think that she would be able to bag Ryouji Kaji, a man at least twice her age. The girl continued.

"Mana is not my friend; I barely know her. Same thing goes for Hikari."

"But they still care about you!"

"No they don't, and I don't care about them." Asuka knew that both were lies, but she felt horribly out of place without anybody to share her feelings with. Except for Shinji-kun, but he is too much of a coward to say anything. "I have not seen my country in years. I am a woman now. Don't you forget that I've already graduated from college with a degree in aeronautics!"

"Aeronautics? Like, you want to be an astronaut?" Shinji asked, taken aback. He didn't know that Asuka had had any kind of interest in that science.

"More or less, and with the Evangelion training I've had, it should be no sweat. Besides, I've been studying the moves back into space that have occurred over the last four years. The space agencies of the world have expressed the need for young, smart workers. I fit into that category perfectly." Now Asuka was starting to sound like her old self.

"B-but…" Shinji trailed off. Asuka scoffed and returned to her room. She emerged carrying a bulging suitcase. It was then that Shinji and Asuka heard an ambulance pull up outside the apartments. Asuka didn't wish to know what was happening, but it wouldn't stop her. She had plenty of money; she knew how to get back to Germany. Besides, if somebody as weak as Shinji could up and leave, why couldn't she? She had a reason to leave, too. I am doing nothing with my life! she complained to herself. Shinji will probably be a nothing anyway, with his inability to say anything important when it matters.

"Here," Asuka said, handing Shinji a piece of paper. He didn't take it right away, and she more or less simply stuffed it into his left hand. She closed her hands around his containing the note.

"Give this to Ritsuko," she said. There was no response. Asuka walked to the coat rack and put on her coat. Through the slightly open front door, Shinji could hear the ambulance leave. He poked his head outside. Maya was gone too, and it was improbable that she had gone back to her apartment without him hearing her pass 501. She probably took a ride in the ambulance, he considered. Asuka approached the doorway where Shinji stood.

"Excuse me," she said testily, her long arms akimbo.

Shinji was unsure of whether to let her pass or not. His right hand twitched in indecision. He finally buckled when he saw the German girl becoming quite angry. He moved just enough to let her through. She stood on the cement, covered with even more snow than before. It was already well past her ankles, and the flakes were still tumbling from the sky. The boy and the girl looked at each other for a moment.

"Goodbye, Shinji Ikari." She turned and began to walk away into the night.

Shinji wrestled with his mind. He wanted to tell her, but he was still afraid. For once, his better side won out.

"Asuka!" he cried out. She didn't stop walking. "Asuka! I love you!"

Now she stopped. Asuka twirled about and ran back to the thin young man, standing in the cold. She walked right up to him, and ran her right hand along the left side of his chin, in the same way he had done when he had first come out of his coma.

"Shinji-kun, I love you, too," she said. With that, she kissed him. It was not a shallow, bored kiss. Instead, it had the depth and emotion behind it that Shinji had received only once before, from Misato Katsuragi. His eyes widened, and the piece of paper he'd been holding, which was, incidentally, blank, fell to the ground to blend in with the perfectly white snow. For a moment, their tongues met. It was different from Misato's kiss. Asuka had a certain type of youthful vigor, while Misato had been much more experienced. She pulled away.

"I love you, too," Asuka repeated, "but I need to keep growing up. I cannot stay here, just stagnating. Besides, I'll be back… someday. Until then, that kiss should be enough of a reminder. Goodbye, Third Child; I'll miss you." She walked off into the night until she reached the sidewalk and hailed a cab. It stopped, and the driver got out to help her with her suitcase. While he loaded it in the trunk of the car, Asuka looked back at the stream of buttery yellow light coming from Apartment 501. Shinji's silhouette stood in the snow. Poor thing, she thought.

Shinji was lost for words, and he could see her face turned toward him once again. Far too soon, their link was broken as she climbed into the back of the taxi. It drove off in the direction of the airport, and though the redhead could not see it, he waved as the car grew smaller and smaller, until it finally turned a corner and disappeared altogether.

Instead of standing out in the cold like an idiot—

Baka! Asuka's voice shouted in his mind.

Shinji turned and returned to the apartment. After grimly shutting and locking the front door, he walked right past Mana, sitting upright on the couch, crying. He entered Asuka's bedroom and closed the sliding door, seeking peace. Shinji Ikari collapsed onto the young woman's bed. This was all he had left of the beautiful German girl. He cried. She is gone, the only girl I ever loved. My life has fallen from heaven to hell. Is… is it my fault again? I can't tell. I didn't do anything At some point, his tears and worried thoughts tapered off, to be replaced by a deep sleep.

Ritsuko Akagi's Office

The intercom on the blonde's desk buzzed. It was Dr. Akagi's secretary.

"There's a man here to see you, Sempai."

"Very well; send him in." This piqued the woman's curiosity. It couldn't be any of the other doctors that worked at the hospital, or the secretary would have named them. It couldn't be anybody Ritsuko was seeing in private because… she wasn't seeing anybody in private. It might be Makoto or Shigeru, but they already knew the secretary. Especially Shigeru, Ritsuko thought with a smirk. A moment later, the door opened and an all-too-familiar man stepped into the messy, smoky office. Akagi looked up and recognized the muscular body and scruffy face as that of Ryouji Kaji. She gasped, her mouth hanging openly.

"Well, are you just going to sit there and gape, or what?" asked the sassy man.

Ritsuko stood, and took her glasses off her face. Slowly, she set them on the desk. Kaji looked at her, crossing his arms.

"I…" she began. "I, um, didn't… expect you." She was angry at herself for such a stupid response. Immediately, her eyes dropped to the surface of the desk, and she remained silent. She heard Ryouji approach her. Ritsuko was confused. Here was a man, and she had been so lonely all these years…

Kaji walked around to stand behind her. He positioned his hands around the blonde doctor's shoulder blades. Her back muscles were very tense from recent stress, so he began to give her a massage.

Ritsuko wasn't sure what to make of his act. She had been under so much pressure lately, from work and looking after Asuka. Ryouji's strong fingers felt so soothing as they moved across her upper back, kneading her sore muscles. She sighed.

Kaji finished, and Ritsuko turned around to look up at him. She stood. It turned out that she was a bit shorter than he was, but it didn't matter. Their eyes met, and a silent message passed between them. Their faces were close, and getting closer. Ritsuko and Ryouji came together for a small, shallow kiss. Had it been somebody like Misato, Kaji would have been more forward, but he knew that the doctor had always been boy-shy. Unfortunately, Ritsuko's intercom buzzed again and the secretary, with just a hint of… knowing in her voice, said, "Maya Ibuki is here to see you, Sempai."

Ritsuko looked into Ryouji's eyes, as if he knew what Maya could possibly have shown up for. He only shrugged, so Dr. Akagi left his embrace and responded, saying "Send her in."

"Hai."

Ritsuko quickly motioned for Kaji to take a more appropriate seat, which he did. She straightened her clothing and sat down stoically. A second later, Maya entered, in the same state of dishevel that Shinji had seen.

"Maya?" Ritsuko asked incredulously.

"Hai," the former lieutenant responded. She shuffled forward, ignoring Kaji's presence.

"Wh-what happened to you?"

"I-he—" but Maya began to cry.

"Maya! Tell me what's going on!" Akagi snapped. This seemed to bring Ibuki out of her blubbering. Maya was glad that her best friend had been able to shake some sense into her… verbally, anyway. The younger woman breathed in and out shakily, and then spoke.

"I poked my head outside. The snow was so pretty. I looked towards Makoto-kun's apartment, because I heard a struggle. Makoto was there… he was being… accosted by two large men. They were demanding that he give them something or tell him something, I don't know. Anyway, he was refusing. He tried to get away and that's when one of them stabbed him. I screamed and ran to him. He fell down pretty hard, I guess. Shinji heard me and—"

"Shinji!" Ritsuko exclaimed. "You mean he's back?"

"Um, yeah," Maya said, "I thought you knew."

"Well…" the doctor replied testily, "now I know. Go on."

"Well, Shinji came out to see what was wrong. He saw poor Makoto-kun, and he called an ambulance. I came, too."

"I see. Makoto is alright?"

"Yeah, the doctors took him. I think they sent a police car back to the apartments."

Now, Kaji had something to say. "You said… there were two men?"

Maya turned to him. "Yes."

"How were they dressed?"

"Long, dark coats. That's all I could make out."

"Hmm." Ryouji sat back and mulled over this. His outward reaction was a lot more controlled than his mind, which was in a panic. He knew that this was not a random occurrence…

Three Years Earlier

Kaji lay on a steel, full-length platform. His wrists and ankles were spread and bound tightly. What had he gotten himself into now?

He had been at a high-end Parisian restaurant with a pretty young thing named Lydia. They had talked over fine cuisine; eventually, their conversation turned to NERV. The last thing he saw was Lydia's face, smiling all too knowingly, as he took a sip of a dark red wine.

This room he was in was small, and empty except for himself and a small metallic box in front of him. A thin, reedy, sarcastic voice issued from it.

"What is your name, sir?"

Kaji thought for a moment. It wouldn't do him any good to lie.

"I am Ryouji Kaji."

"So, you have worked for NERV?"

"Yes," Kaji said. He had worked for SEELE, too, but they weren't asking about that.

"We have been waiting a very long time, Comrade Kaji."

Damn! Ryouji recognized the voice; it was one of the SEELE goons. Kaji was sure that they had split after Lorenz's death. So what were they doing tracking him down and kidnapping him?

"I see," Kaji responded flatly.

"You are unhappy in our presence?"

"No, sir."

"I thought as much. We have called you here."

"I can… see that."

"We want you to stay here."

"What!"

"We can't allow you to return to Japan."

"Why not?"

"It is simple, Comrade. You are supposed to be dead. We will keep you here… alive and well. But, if you try to escape, much less return to the Land of the Rising Sun, you will find both yourself, and your friends, in very bad circumstances. Agreed?"

It was clear the SEELE members had gone of the deep end. They were angry so their plans for Instrumentality had failed, and now they wanted revenge. So, they were going to blackmail him.

In a solemn, low voice, Kaji agreed. It was to be the beginning of a year of loneliness and despair.

Three Years Later

"Kaji? Kaji, are you there?" It was Ritsuko. Ryouji had completely ignored his surroundings for the last few minutes. Ritsuko and Maya were now on their way out the door. He looked up.

"You're leaving, Ritsuko-kun?"

"Yes; I've taken the rest of the night off. I'm going down to check on Makoto, and then I'm going home. I want to catch up with Shinji, and then I—" She was interrupted by the ringing phone.

She walked over to her desk and picked it up. Kaji gathered himself up and moved into the doorway.

This is Dr. Akagi. Mana Kirishima was on the other end.

Dr. Akagi?

Yes, Mana?

Asuka is gone.

What do you mean Asuka's gone! Ritsuko asked, stunned.

She left the apartment and said she was going b-back to Germany.

Ritsuko's eyes widened. What a stupid, selfish thing to do. Shit, she thought. Now what am I going to do?

I… I'll be there soon.

With that, Ritsuko hung up. She turned to Maya and Kaji.

"Let's go," she said coldly.