A/N: Well, here is the next chapter. Special thanks to all the people who read and review. It brightens my day and makes me really want to sit down and complete this story. This story has 2 more chapters to go. I have read and rewritten this chapter way too many times to know if it is any good. I was considering taking out the scene with Minerva, but it was one of my favorite scenes, so I left it, even though it makes this chapter a little long and delays the confrontation with Thomas (which by the way I hate- I can write scenes with anyone but Thomas. Not really sure why!). So, please read and review!
Serena walked down the hallway, her footsteps echoing in the empty guest wing. Her heart was pounding so loudly in her ears, she was unable to hear anything but the steady rhythm that increased with every step she took. Reaching the large wooden door, she put her hand against her stomach and took several deep breaths, forcing down the urge to turn and run away. He was in there. The man she had been mourning for five years. The man who had allowed her to think that he was dead. All that stood between her and Thomas was a large wooden door. Glancing down, she attempted to smooth out the slight wrinkles in her skirt, trying to at least look calm, but feeling nothing but complete and utter terror.
Raising her hand, she knocked lightly on the door. It swung open, revealing the man she had briefly glimpsed last night. Serena smiled tightly at him.
"Hello," she began.
"Good morning, Professor Daniels. My name is Remus Lupin." He smiled widely and held out his hand, his large golden eyes full of warmth and compassion. Serena placed her hand in his and shook it gently, the smile on her face becoming genuine.
"Oh, Professor Lupin! I'd been hoping I'd get the opportunity to meet you. I have been very impressed with your students, and they have nothing but the best things to say about you. And please call me Serena."
"Thank you, Serena, but I can't take credit for the students' hard work. I simply guided them." He paused and smiled gently at her. "But somehow, I do not think you came to discuss classes with me." Remus watched as the color left her cheeks and the woman in front of him swayed slightly. Reaching out, he grabbed her hands, pulling her into the room and leading her to a chair near the fire. Serena sat down shakily in the chair and looked ruefully at the man crouched in front of her, a concerned expression on his face.
"You must think I am pathetic. The first time you meet me, I pass out and the second time I just about have a repeat performance."
Lupin laughed softly. "On the contrary, I was just thinking how strong you were. If I had to deal with what you are going through, I think my first instinct would be to run away as quickly as I could." He stood up and sat in the chair across from her.
"Believe me, that was definitely something I considered." She looked away into the glowing fire. "There are so many things to consider," she added quietly. Looking back at Lupin, she asked tentatively, "Is Thomas here?"
Remus shook his head. "No, actually he's not. He wanted to go to the library to do some research. I guess it's been awhile since he was able to use a library with such extensive research materials." At Serena's raised eyebrows, he held up his hands and chuckled. "I am just repeating what the man said."
She smiled and shook her head slightly. "I should have known. It always was like his second home. If he wasn't out with the animals, I knew I could find him in the library." Serena knew she should get up and move towards the library, but her legs suddenly felt very heavy. Giving Remus an embarrassed smile, she asked quietly, "How long have you known Thomas, Mr. Lupin?"
Remus sat back in his chair and crossed his legs, not commenting on her obvious attempt to prolong her meeting with Thomas. "I've known him about two months. I'd heard about the Mergona werewolf clan in the Andes and was persuaded to seek out their help in the upcoming war. Dumbledore was convinced that they could be great allies."
She nodded, glancing back towards the fire, allowing the crackling and popping to distract her from the thousands of questions that were racing through her mind.
Remus studied the red headed woman in front of him. She was very pale, but that was to be expected with the shock that she had just had. She was clenching and unclenching her hands, staring into the fire. He was sure that she had forgotten he was even there. He cleared his throat, catching Serena's attention. She turned towards him, her large eyes vacant and expressionless. Blinking, she looked around and realized that she had totally been ignoring Remus.
Standing, she looked apologetically at him. "I am so sorry, Mr. Lupin. My mind was a million miles away. Please forgive me."
He held up a hand, as if to stop her apology, and shook his head. "There is nothing to forgive, my dear. I am sure that you have more important things to do than make small talk with an old man."
She cocked her head and smiled softly. "I hope we get a chance to talk again, Mr. Lupin. Once things have calmed down."
Remus watched as she left the room in daze, hoping that things would calm down for the obviously troubled woman. Turning his attention to the roaring fire, he knew that things were only bound to get worse before they got better.
Serena stood outside the huge library doors, her heart racing. She stared at the handle, unable to move her hand to open it.
Turning around, she leaned against the door and slid to the floor. She knew she was getting odd looks from the students passing by, but she didn't care. She just couldn't go in there. Not yet. She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around her legs. What am I even going to say? She was staring at the floor when two feet suddenly appeared in front of her. Looking up, she smiled.
"Hello, Minerva. What brings you to the library? Looking for a poetry book?" she asked flippantly.
Minerva sat down next to her and smiled softly. "Not today. I just happened to be passing by and saw you. Is there something keeping you from entering the library?"
Serena closed her eyes and shook her head. "I would have thought everyone in the school knew by now."
"Oh, they do," Minerva said. "I was just being polite."
Serena snorted and smiled at her friend appreciatively. Glancing up at the handle, she looked back at Minerva. "What's going to happen?"
Minerva pursed her lips together. "That, my dear, I cannot tell you. Perhaps we should find Trelawney and ask her to make a prediction." At Serena's amused glance, she added, "You never know, she could be right."
Both women were silent for a moment, each caught in their own thoughts.
Minerva sighed. "Honestly, Serena, I don't know what to tell you. Just know that I am here, if you need anything. I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling."
"I'm just worried about him," Serena said softly.
"Well, from what I've heard about Thomas, he sounds like he can take care of himself."
Serena shook her head. "No, not Thomas. I'm worried about Severus."
Minerva eyed her friend. "Severus is a strong man. Oftentimes, he's a frustrating man, but he contains a strength that many overlook."
Nodding in agreement, Serena smiled sadly, pushed herself up and gripped the door handle tightly.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, and looked back at her friend. "Wish me luck," she said.
Minerva whispered, "Good luck," watching as Serena disappeared behind the heavy door. Standing up, she walked down the hallway, hoping that the answers Serena was seeking would not destroy her, or in the end Severus.
Walking into the library, she glanced around searching for Thomas. If she knew him, he would have found the largest window and planted himself under it. He always said it made him feel like he was outside even when he wasn't able to be. She walked down the aisle, following the light.
She froze when she spied him, sitting at a table under the large window. He was bent over a sizeable stack of books, his dark hair tucked behind his ears and his forehead scrunched as he contemplated whatever he was reading. He twirled a quill in his right hand as he read, stopping every now and then to jot something down. The sunlight spilled over him giving him an almost angelic appearance. Her eyes swept over his face, still unable to believe that he was alive. She watched as he licked his index finger and turned the page of the book in front of him, smiling softly at the familiar gesture.
Serena shifted and the slight movement caught his attention. His head came up and his eyes brightened when he saw her. A huge smile broke over his face and he stood coming toward her.
"Serena!" he said softly. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a tight squeeze. Hesitantly, her arms slipped around his waist. She laid her head against his shoulder and breathed deeply. He smelled like pine and soap. She had forgotten that. She relaxed in his arms and closed her eyes, drifting back to the last time she had been held by Thomas. Standing there in his embrace, it was like nothing had changed. But suddenly the last five years came flooding back. She placed her hands on his chest and gently pushed him away. Things had changed.
The smile left his face as he watched the cool expression settle on hers. "Why don't we sit down? We have a lot to discuss," he said quietly.
She rolled her eyes and resisted the urge to snort. Smirking, she realized that she had just perfectly imitated how Severus would react to such a statement.
Following Thomas to the table, she sat across from him and stared, unable to speak. His blue eyes, which had haunted her for so long, gazed at her in concern.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
She laughed harshly, the ridiculous question shocking her out of her silence. "Alright? Well, let's see shall we? For the past five years, everyone told me you were dead, for which I blamed myself. And just when I start to put your death behind me, you show up, alive and well. Exactly how am I supposed to feel?"
Thomas stared at the table, taking a deep breath. "You have every right to be angry, but you must understand that I only faked my death to protect you, my love."
She winced at the familiar nickname. Looking away, she said, "Please do not call me that."
He looked puzzled. "But you've always been my love. How can I not call you that?"
She glared at him as she ground out, "Because you do not have the right." She clenched her fists and dug her nails deeply into her palms, welcoming the pain, which distracted her from the anger that was quickly building. In a low controlled voice, she asked, "How can you claim to love me? Your death almost destroyed me."
A look of annoyance flashed across his face, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. He sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. "It has been difficult for me as well. After the attack, I awoke in the Infirmary, not understanding what had happened. I was informed me that in addition to all of my other injuries, I'd been bitten." He looked back up at her, his eyes pleading. "You and I both know what that meant. Once a month, I would become unable to control what I did, or worse who I hurt. I couldn't subject you to that life. So, I sent for my father, and convinced him to tell you that I had died." He looked away, "In many respects I had. I was no longer the Thomas you knew, and I could never be that man again. Leaving was my only option."
She shook her head, her anger turning to disbelief. "You let me believe you were dead, because for a few days a month you wouldn't be yourself? Didn't you stop to consider the impact that would have on me? That is the most selfish thing I've ever heard."
His eyes flashed, "Selfish? It was the hardest thing I have ever done, Serena. I'd been studying werewolves for years. I had witnessed first-hand the violence and destruction. I had talked with lycans who had killed their loved ones during the full moon, only to wake up and find the bodies. I wasn't about to take the chance that I would do that to you. If you thought I was alive, would you have let me go, even knowing the danger?"
She stared at him guardedly and then shook her head. "No," she answered quietly. Thomas reached across the table and took her hands in his.
"Exactly. As hard as it was, you had to believe that I was dead. In order to protect you, I had to let you go." He released her hands and sat back, his face shadowed by his own memories.
"I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be, though. There were nights I would come to the grounds, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. I tried to talk to my father; find out anything about you that I could. When he told me that you were blaming yourself for my death, I was stunned. It was an accident, and I never once blamed you." He gave her a tender look, his eyes full of love.
When she refused to answer or even meet his eyes, a hurt expression crossed his face. This wasn't turning out how he had planned. He sighed, and added, "I had simply become complacent in my knowledge of werewolves and thought that I could never be hurt. I put both of us in a dangerous situation, and I paid the ultimate price. In one night, everything we wanted was taken away." He leaned forward, his eyes shining brightly. "But we can get it back, Serena."
"What do you mean?" she asked confused.
He grabbed the book he had been reading and pointed at the passage he had been studying so intently. Serena read the title silently. The Wolfsbane Potion's Role in Werewolf Transformation. Looking back up at him, she raised her eyebrows.
"If this potion works as well as Remus claims, then I, and the rest of my clan, won't be a danger to anyone any more." He smiled softly. "For years, I have been dreaming of nothing except being with you and knowing that it was impossible. When Remus offered this potion as a trade for joining the alliance against this Voldemort character, I knew this was it."
Serena just stared at him, gripping the sides of her chair tightly, a sick feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. She didn't like where this conversation seemed to be heading.
He took a deep breath. "Do you remember that last day? When I said I wanted to talk about our future?" He waited until she nodded. "This is our chance. We can finally be together."
"What are you asking?" she asked breathlessly.
"I'm asking you to leave Hogwarts with me. I'm asking you to be my wife, as you were always meant to be."
hatorifan: Thank you so much! I hope you like this chapter as much (because to be honest- I don't)
MusicIsMyLife28: I am so glad that you are enjoying the story! Thank you so much for the nice things you had to say!
JuicyJuice- I am glad that you are enjoying the story. After rereading, Dumbledore's dialogue, I admit it could use a little bit of tweaking. It probably should have said, "That good, hmm." I could hear him saying that a little more. Thanks for the insights. I will try to be more aware of that next time. Thanks:)
Joelpup62- I agree as nice as it would be for Severus to rush in and sweep her off her feet. That is not really his style. But he may need to go a little out of his comfort zone.
MamaLisa- I love Albus too! He is a meddlesome man, but in a good way! LOL! I am so glad that you enjoyed the smoochies. I moved them up in the story just for you! Thank you so much for reviewing. I love to read your reviews.
Noni-noelle- That was the nicest review I have ever read! Thank you so much. I'm glad you caught the Albus/Minerva undertones. It was just something I threw in for fun. If I have any French questions, I know where to turn. Thank you again for reading!
Fairy Obsession- I had to laugh too when I pictured Severus flipping through poetry books. Glad you are enjoying the story!
Sikerra- Yes, feelings! Aren't they wonderful? LOL! I always enjoy your reviews!