Attack of the Care Bears
Wind: I'm not writing.
Le: 'Gods, why me?' How come?
Wind: People are mean to me.
Key: But you're mea-
Wind: Silence!
Le: Just write. That way some poor souls will be striped of some of their sanity and I can go.
Wind: OO I never thought of that…ON WITH THE FIC!
Somewhere in Rivendell the evil CB was gathering allies. All of the most sick and depraved creatures imaginable, such as Barbie's (who are evil by nature) and the toys from rigged claw machines who are trained to make you want them so bad, so you waste ten dollars and never get any of them. Why would they do this you ask? I'm not sure, but they were evil . . . or kinda.
Aragorn sat rocking back and forth in the corner, sucking his thumb like a little baby while mumbling, "Its coming, its coming, its coming."
Frodo grabbed the ranger and slapped Aragorn across the face five times, "Snap out of it man."
Boromir walked out of a closet dressed in white pajamas with little pink hearts, "I want to sing! THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH MUSIC!!!" the man's singing was horrible off key. If you read the books you notice that with all the singing, no one sings off key. This is because if you do you will be hit by a comet made of nothing but molten green gummy bears that no one will eat. Thus Boromir was hit with the ball of goo and went sliding down a cliff.
Aragorn took a shuttering breath, blowing out smoke from Gandalf's pipe, "I see dead people."
"Dude, you stole that from the Sixth Sense," said a random elf that walked past.
Pippin jumped onto the table and struck a heroic pose, "This is no time for alarm. We must all band together to overcome this contemptible antagonist. If we do not, there is no logical way we can be victorious!"
Everyone stared at the little Hobbit in surprise and fear.
Gandalf "How"
Sam "Does,"
Legolas "He,"
Gimli "Know,"
Aragorn "Such,"
Frodo "Big,"
Merry "Words."
Everyone exchanged looks and nodded in agreement. They all jumped on Pippin and stuffed him into a ball of spam. Pip tried to free himself of the false meat byproducts but it was impossible. The spam held fast, for no power in the universe could make it waver just like nothing could make it taste like real meat.
Merry pointed an accusing finger at Pippin, "YOUR NOT PIP, WHERE IS HE YOU…um, FAKE PIPPIN THINGY!"
Pippin looked around the group and tried to explain, "I'm not a fake, and I've just been looking at a thesaurus."
Gandalf scoffed in a very girly way, swaying his hips and sticking his nose in the air, "Fraud, since when could Pippin read, much less know what a thesaurus was."
They picked up the spam prison and placed it and its captive into a big, white room. Not the nice ones with the padding on the sides, but one of the ones you sit in and slowly go mad until you go out and eat the neighbor's golden retriever.
"I'm the real Pippin I tell you!" he said as the others shut the door.
From another ball of spam Elvis Presley spoke up, "Good luck convincing them there. I've been here for years."
"Wait, you mean you weren't abducted by aliens?" Pippin asked in awe.
"Nah, just abducted by idiots."
Aragorn wiped his hands together very calmly, "Well since that's done…WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"
"SHUT UP!" Legolas finally snapped and threw a random watermelon at Strider's head.
Aragorn falls backwards when it hit him right between the eyes which had little ex.'s on them.
"Oh my god, you killed Aragorn!" cried Frodo.
Sam replied,"You bastards!"
Somewhere else that was not where ever the fellowship or Pippin and Elvis was, the evil care bear, forgot it didn't ya, stood looking over his army, the battle was about to begin.
Short but the next will be longer if I get enough reviews. And yes, THAT IS A THREAT! (puppy eyes) Please review, I live for your words.