Yay! Yay! I'd like to thank Cherry-SweetHeart AND A Cannon! Yeah yeah! Thanx to those two... my greatest reviewers... and poor Sakura won't be getting any hugs at all... and poor Tomoyo is greedy... a liar...

Chapter 8: A Call From Tomoyo

There's more to the chain than I thought. There are more rough edges. There are no more smooth ones. There's a pit wherever I step. And there are more than what I could ever have imagined. And here I am. I'm looking down into a pit, and another, and then another. And I'm looking down into one now. It's deeper than any other. I can't reach the bottom. I can't touch it. I don't know where it leads; I don't know what could be in there. For some reason I want to know what's down there, but I'm scared to know. To know the truth. I'm scared to know the truth.

I've lost touch with Tomoyo. I just called her, the phone still in my hand. I pressed the numbers, I've redialed them, and I just know I can't be wrong. I want to call her, to have her help me. I really need help, I really need to know that there's someone out there who CAN help me. And that's what a best friend is supposed to do. Like Tomoyo.

The slender phone is in my grasp. I call again. The receiver says the phone number no longer exists. How can that be possible? Perhaps Tomoyo has moved? She wouldn't… at least not without telling me.

Now I'm feeling lonely. I feel so alone, so deserted, I feel scared, I need Tomoyo's gentle, encouraging voice. I wish she were over here, filming me in a new costume. I miss her. It's been such a long time. Where have we been? What has kept us so far apart? I can't reach her anymore. She's too far down the pit. And what if she's gone too? I can't lose Tomoyo either! No! I couldn't! I can't! But who knows what God can do, who knows what he will do next.

Suddenly, the phone is ringing in my hand.

"It's probably for daddy…" Janet maybe.

The phone keeps ringing. Daddy hasn't picked it up.

"Maybe its for Touya." Yukito maybe.

The phone keeps ringing. It's not Touya's either.

So I press the phone to my ear, take a deep breath, and press the button.

"Hello?"

There's silence.

"Hello?"
Still no respond.

I'm ready to put the phone down.

"Sakura-chan." A soft voice says on the other line.

It's so familiar… the soft voice I've wanted to hear… for such a long time!

"Tomoyo-chan? Tomoyo!" I'm bursting into tears, "Tomoyo! I tried to call you so many times! But the receiver said the phone number no longer existed! Tomoyo! Where have you been? I really miss you! I'm having so much trouble, why can't you come over anymore? I feel so lonely."

"Sakura… I'm very sorry." She answers quietly.

"But… but… I'm sorry too. I may have forgotten your real phone number." I dry my eyes.

"No. No. It's not your fault. We… we… we just changed our phone number."

"Oh. Ok…" Does that mean she's moved? "Did you… move?"

"M…mmm…move? Of course not! I… I mean… really. I would never move away from you Sakura!" Tomoyo sounded a little shaky.

"Are you alright Tomoyo?" I'm worried… has something happened to her?

"Yes! Fine! Wonderful! Splendid! Superb! I'm having the best time of my life… ur… watching videos I taped of you… ur… making more costumes… ur… researching about what style I should do next. Of course I'm fine!" She was babbling too much, I couldn't keep up with her. But I did notice she was not being her normal self. Something drastic must have happened. Perhaps she wouldn't like me to talk about it… I'll wait until she'll begin talking about it.

"So… Sakura-chan… how has your summer been?" Tomoyo suddenly went quiet, "Oh… I'm so sorry… I forgot about… your… mother…"

"How do you know about that?"

"My mother found out. I'm sorry we couldn't come to the funeral."

"We didn't have a funeral." I answered quietly. "We're preserving her body. I don't want bugs to eat her up." It's a coarse whisper.

Tomoyo seems as quiet as I am. I wonder what she is thinking about too.

"Sakura-chan… I just wanted to call to let you know…"

Has something happened? Will she tell me? Why is she acting so weirdly?

"… that I've really missed you during the summer so far… uh… we're going on a trip to my great grandfather's hometown… I won't be home so much anymore… ur… I'll be taking a semester of school there…"

"What!" I want to scream.

But instead, I say softly, "Why?"

"My mother says… I am very smart… and… I should go to a better school." Tomoyo sounded a little somber, but stuttered and stumbled over her words like they weren't true.

"Oh. I hope you do well." I praise quietly.

"Thank you Sakura… good bye… I'll miss you."

There's a click… and then the phone went dead.

I put the phone down.

Tomoyo is going somewhere and won't come back for a long time. I'm alone again. I've lost Tomoyo. I've lost another person I dearly love. I've lost mother, father, and then Tomoyo. They're all falling deeper down the pit… I'm all alone… there's no more smiles… no more laughs… no more family gatherings… there's no more picnics with my best friend… and… how am I going to get all these things back? How do I get them all back?

-

I've hardly lied in my life. Because I know lying is a sin, unless it's to keep a secret safe. And, I've never lied to Sakura, because she's my best friend. And I love her. But ever since we left the mansion, I began to think I was a fraud. And maybe I am. I'm selfish, I'm greedy, and now I'm a liar. I've always been. I always lied to myself that I was a kind, beautiful, gentle, unboastful girl. I always lied to myself that I never lied unless it was for a secret. And I would never, ever lie to Sakura. But I did. And most of all, I always lied to myself that my father would stop drinking and come back to us. And that he loved us and had never cheated on my mother. And I lied to myself that we would become rich again and live in another mansion… so many lies. I am a fraud.

I put the phone down, shivering, trembling, tears streaking down my face, "I lied… to Sakura..."

I trembled at the horrible thing I did.

I told her that I hadn't moved.

I told her that I was fine.

I told her that I was making dresses and costumes for her, watching my films, researching on what do next, and everything was a ok. I assured her.

But I'm not. I'm not fine, I'm not making dresses and costumes, I'm not watching movies, I'm not reading flower and fairy books, because I'm in a shabby apartment, waiting for my mother, and waiting for something to happen.

I'm crying hard now. My back shakes, my eyes water, and my mouth makes a horrible sob. My ears are plugged, my eyes are blurry, and I can't find a tissue to blow my nose.

I'm crying for me. I'm crying for my mother. I'm crying for Sakura. And I'm crying for my father.

My father.

I've never really remembered him. I've never really remembered how he left, or why he left, or what he looked like. All I know is that he left. And my mom will never talk about him.

The door unlocked. Someone stepped in.

"Tomoyo?"

"Mom…" I looked up.

"Tomoyo." She stood at the door, looking at me softly.

She saw my tears. Oh no.

"Tomoyo." She looked down at the floor.

I didn't know what to say. And she didn't either.

During dinner, we didn't talk. We just drank and ate our dinner. We were quiet, no mother-daughter talks. Nothing.

I stood up. I got ready for bed.

But my mother stopped me.

"Tomoyo. I have something to tell you."
I glanced up at her face.

Her face was mixed with so many emotions; I didn't know whether it was good or bad.

"Its about your father."

And so we sat down on the floor and she began to tell me about my father. About how they never really meant to marry, but then made a big mistake. So, to keep up her reputation, she married him. They were fine, living like everybody else. My mother had me, my father stayed home and watched me while my mother went to work. But then she became a big company owner, and we slowly began to become rich. She told me that he soon began going out more often, to places she didn't know, and coming home drunk, with a stink of women. They began to have fights, with violence and words, and they had to divorce. (random story... i dunno where i got it)

Her story gave me lost memories, finally uncovered. And now I remember everything. Everything my mother never wanted me to remember.

hm... boring... boring... stupid... boring... yawn... dozing... stupid... boring... yawn... I wonder who reads these... but here comes memories for the next chapter! I... love... memories!