Chapter Five
"To feel love is to feel pain. There is no difference in the two."
--Borid, ancient philosopher King of Theed
"Alderaan will not be forgotten. This their friends and allies swear."
--Madlyn Kylantha of Naboo
Pooja felt as though she lived in a place filled and surrounded in darkness. The sun was only a distant memory, something that barely had the strength to remind her of what happiness was.
Hearing of Alderaan's destruction had thrown Naboo into chaos. While the government desperately sought more information as to what had happened, families bombarded them with frantic calls, trying to find out if their husbands, wives, children, or other relatives had been on Alderaan when it had been mysteriously blown into oblivion.
Pooja had put herself, along with Amarié, Meliaé, and Niaé, to work by contacting every source they could possibly think of. She buried herself in the information, ignoring the desire to scream: to cry, to throw something while she struggled to make sense of what she was being told.
The official story coming out of Imperial Center was that Alderaan had been the victims of a catastrophic malfunction of massively destructive weapons. No one in their right mind was buying the explanation, though. There were not enough weapons in the entire Imperial Fleet to cause such destruction, let alone just bombs. Besides, Alderaan had disarmed itself years ago. There were no weapons on that planet.
From what Pooja was able to find, there had been some sort of weapon, built in secret, and was now under the command of Wilhuff Tarkin, known in many back rooms as the Emperor's lap wilket. However, Pooja was one of the few who had heard of Tarkin's hand in atrocities such as the Minuran Massacre nearly six years before. If this was true, that Wilhuff Tarkin had command over a weapon that had the fire power to destroy an entire planet, then she knew that everyone, within the Empire and without, was in extreme danger.
After nearly nineteen hours of work with only a few 'fresher breaks, Pooja's handmaidens prevailed on her to rest for a time. But once she had settled into her bed, she found that sleep was beyond her ability to summon.
Knowing that the handmaidens had already succumbed to their exhaustion, Pooja dressed herself in a simple black dress and cloak. After hiding a blaster within the cloak's folds, she slipped quietly out of the Palace. Chaos still reigned in several places, including the city, so she was able to move with relatively little notice from others. She walked to the Street of the Fallen.
When she came to her aunt's monument, she stared at it dully, taking in its epitaph, its beauty. It was a gorgeous tribute to so wonderful a woman.
And yet, in that moment, Pooja hated it with more passion than she'd ever felt in her life.
Leia was dead. Corr was dead. Bail and Breha were dead. There would be no beautiful memorials raised for them. The Great Mother only knew what had happened to Leia's body, and Corr, Bail, and Breha's bodies were incinerated. There was nothing left to build around.
There was nothing.
She hated it. She hated death. She hated all that it had wrought upon her, her family, her world.
And she hated her aunt.
"Damn you," she hissed suddenly, glaring at the sarcophagus. "Damn you for bringing death to nearly everything you touched. You got yourself into something, not even concerned for the safety of your child, and you followed it to your death. You broke the hearts of your parents, permanently scarred your sister's emotions, and nearly destroyed your people with grief."
Pooja stopped for a moment, breathing heavily. It was ridiculous to rant at a woman long dead, she knew. But, she'd been holding her grief and rage in for so long that everything came bursting out.
"Panaka was right about you," she continued angrily. "You were irresponsible with your own life. Your death brought this down on us. You started all of this. Grandmother Jobal's death, Grandfather Ruwee's, Leia's, Corr's, and now Bail and Breha's."
Pooja turned away abruptly, disgusted with both Padmé and herself. Just before she moved to leave, she muttered bitterly, "You never stopped to think how others might feel if they lost you."
"I know many who would agree with you."
Pooja whirled around, her hand automatically delving into her cloak to grasp her blaster. Pointing it towards the shadows, she said in a low tone as menacing as she could make it. "Who are you?"
"Relax, Milady. If I wanted to do you harm, I'd have done it when you slipped into the back alleys."
Her eyes narrowed at the slightly mocking female tone and she didn't even allow the blaster to waver from its position in front of her. "Who are you," she growled more loudly.
Soft footsteps came towards her and out of the shadows came a trim, slight figure dressed in a green handmaiden cloak. She came to a stop only a few feet away from Pooja, leaving only the blaster and a small amount of space between them. Slowly, the woman reached up and brushed the hood of her cloak down from her head, revealing a head of brown hair with barely a hint of grey and a pair of bemused, mischievous brown eyes.
"Senator Lydonia," she said almost cheerfully, "lovely to see you again. It's been a long time."
Pooja eyed the woman warily. "I do not believe we have met, madam."
"Oh, we have. It was nearly twenty-nine years ago, so I doubt you were in any position or frame of mind to recall me," the woman said airily. When Pooja raised an eyebrow in confusion, she continued, "I am Yané Loretta. I was a handmaiden to your Aunt during her time as Queen."
Pooja eyed her briefly, then nodded and lowered the blaster. "What are you doing here, Miss Loretta?"
Yané's face lost some of its blitheness and became more serious. "I am the Junior Director of the Information Bureau. I've been coordinating the various agents that have been gathering information on the Alderaan disaster."
A wave of renewed anger shot through her heart and Pooja fought the urge to throw a nasty glance in the sarcophagus' direction. Yané seemed to notice.
"I know why you are upset with her," she said softly. "Nearly everyone on this world saw her as our greatest hero and loved her dearly. Only a few, mainly those closest to her, saw just how unheeding she really was when it came to concern for her own safety. It got her into trouble more than once and it got her killed eventually."
Pooja nodded. "Everything she touched is dying. My grandmother was even driven to madness before the Great Mother extended mercy to her," she ranted with growing heat. "My aunt was good friends with Bail and Breha Organa. Within a week, their daughter, who was also my friend, is murdered and then they died in the face of a weapon built specifically for genocide. How much longer will it be before the rest of my family dies as well? How long until Naboo falls to the curse that was Padmé Amidala?"
Throughout Pooja's fierce tirade, Yané had remained still and silent, staring over her shoulder with a peculiar expression on her face. When her rage slowly subsided, she began to reply.
"Padmé was reckless, as you have said. As she saw it, her life was a small price to pay in the face of the causes she fought for. The flaw in that thinking, something nearly all of the handmaidens who served her tired to point out, was that the people, the ones she served, did not feel this way. They tried to appoint her Queen for life, just one example of their esteem. And although they do not see it this way, Padmé ultimately failed them. She put herself in danger and was murdered as a result."
Yané, now the very picture of severity, gazed at her intensely. "We cannot change the past, Senator. The fact that Padmé is dead will not change. All we can do is move beyond it and save what is left. We must focus on preserving what remains. First, we must see to Naboo. Once we take the first step, the next ones will come in their own time."
Pooja stared at the older woman, who began to step back into the shadows from where she had come. Before she was gone, she called back.
"You have it within you to pick up the pieces of Padmé's mistakes and build something new and wonderful. Succeed, Pooja. Succeed where she failed."
She didn't move from that spot for a long time, thinking furiously.
I don't know if I should just laugh at the madness that surrounds me, or if I should just have my head examined. Then again, maybe I should take her seriously, melodramatic entrances, exits, and everything else that came with it.
She returned to the Palace before dawn, so no one noticed her absence. Making her way to one of the lounges near her rooms, Pooja was relieved to see that someone had left a warm pot of caf on for those up earlier than the rest of the Palace's resident population.
After she poured herself a cup, Pooja carried it over to the large bay window. She stared out over the rooftops, watching the sun's rays spread through the stirring city.
Yané's words still rolled through her mind. Pooja knew she should take heed of them, but getting others to cooperate was another matter entirely. Moff Panaka immediately came to mind. His anger towards Aunt Padmé was as strong and real as hers had been. And if that alone was not enough, it was perfectly clear that Panaka extended that grudge upon her, given her relationship to her aunt and their perceived similarities. His judgment was not at his best at the moment.
"Milady?"
Pooja turned slowly from the view of Theed to find Meliaé standing at the lounge's entrance. "Yes?"
"We received a message this morning. The Queen rescheduled the full meeting of the Council and the Governors for this evening. She would like to see you in the throne room after you've had a chance to eat some breakfast."
Pooja nodded. They had yet to finish their discussion since they had heard of Alderaan's destruction. Madlyn most likely would want to finish that and have a solid base for a response to the Emperor's actions.
She glanced down at her cup of caf and took a sip. She made a face almost immediately and set it down. Borderline fermented. She'd bet a credit that Jack Forsye had made it.
Meliaé fell in step behind her as they made their way through the halls to Pooja's rooms. Niaé and Amarié were waiting for them, already having Pooja's green Senatorial gown laid out and waiting to be donned.
While she was dressing, a large tray arrived from the kitchens, completely covered with food. Once she had her gown on, Pooja and the three handmaidens sat down to eat. It all smelled delicious, but when she looked at it, Pooja felt her appetite receding rapidly. She forced herself to eat a few bites, but soon found herself pushing her food around her plate.
Niaé was the first to take notice. "Milady," she said firmly, putting her utensil down. "You've hardly eaten anything since you visited your family. You must keep up your strength. Eat."
"You have a long day ahead," Amarié added from her place at the table next to Meliaé.
Pooja bit her lip, fighting a sudden wave of emotion, but nodded silently. She managed to eat most of what was on her plate before she finally declared victory and pushed the rest away. She then went through her basic toiletries and sat down at her dressing table.
Niaé applied her make-up and Amarié brushed her hair and put it up into a small gold headdress. Pooja eyed her appearance as they worked. At first glance, she appeared as she always did, healthy and fit. Only if she looked very closely did she see how pale she was, along with the dark circles around her eyes.
She sighed quietly. She wondered if the madness that had engulfed her life would ever go away. Just a few days ago, her life had been so orderly and clear. Now, she was torn between confusion and the faint hope that Yané had shown her. Did she have the strength to pull the rest of Naboo's government onto the path they needed to be on?
"Milady? Are you ready?"
Pooja looked up to see Meliaé, Niaé, and Amarié standing around her, waiting. Slowly, she nodded. Yes," she said as she stood up. "Let's go."
The walk to the throne room was not long and Pooja kept her eyes straight ahead, not bothering to take in the familiar surroundings. When they arrived at the throne room, she nearly groaned in frustration when she saw not only the Queen, but Panaka as well.
Before Pooja could greet them while concealing her irritation at Panaka's presence, the Queen spoke.
"Pooja," she said quickly, her voice hard and thick with displeasure. "I think you should sit down. I've just been given a disturbing piece of information."
Eyeing Madlyn carefully, Pooja nodded and took her seat in the mostly-deserted Council area.
"This morning, the Governor," she shot an icy look in the man's direction, "came to me with further information on this weapon believed to have been responsible for Alderaan's demise."
Pooja turned to the older man who, much to her surprise, was not looking at her, but somewhere over her shoulder. After a moment of tense silence, Panaka spoke.
"The weapon that destroyed Alderaan," he said simply, "is a space station built at the Emperor's behest."
She gaped at him, stunned into silence by a single sentence. Questions immediately began to race through her mind. Questions soon followed by accusations.
"How," she asked, her voice barely more than a strangled whisper. "How do you know this?"
"The plans to build the space station were put before the Regional Governors several years ago," he answered promptly. "Governor Tarkin was the one who pushed it at the request of the Emperor."
Pooja raised a skeptical eyebrow. "And you actually agreed to have a space station capable of blasting an entire world into dust?" She demanded incredulously. "Were you all so completely foolish!"
Panaka glared at her sourly. "Of course not! When the proposal was brought to us, our first question was what was it to be used for? We weren't about to permit such a thing to be built if it was going to be used to terrorize the people of the galaxy."
He sighed, seeming to lose some of his anger, and continued. "Tarkin had many propositions for how to use the station. Its shields could have been used for protection while mining in asteroid fields. He also boasted its use as a prison, stating it would be impossible to escape from." He looked up at her. "Using it as a mining tool would have allowed many businesses to boom. It would have been an excellent boost for the Imperial economy."
Was he asking for her understanding, her support, Pooja wondered briefly. She then stared back at him, unwilling to give it until she had the story in its entirety.
"It was Moff Sygti who asked the perfectly reasonable question of who would have nominal control over the station," Panaka said hollowly after he had paused to breathe for a moment. "The look on Tarkin's face was one of barely-contained glee when he told us the news…"
Disgust overtook his entire expression and Panaka didn't bother to suppress it. "'It is the Emperor's pleasure that I oversee the construction and be the ranking officer when the station is completed,' he told us. There were few people happy with that declaration. Most of us would have preferred Lord Vader, as he had already expressed his distain for the entire project. But the Emperor's wishes were not to be denied. We passed the motion."
Pooja leaned against one of the armrests of her chair, her hand resting lightly on her mouth. What were they thinking? She thought vehemently. They allowed a monstrosity to be built and left it in the hands of a madman. And for what? So they could enrich their territories? Or were they worried about gainsaying the Emperor! Have the upholders of justice truly fallen so far?
"Why was the Senate not informed of this?" Pooja asked coldly as she continued to glare at him. He was the only Moff present, therefore he would bear her displeasure alone for the moment. "Such a huge decision should have rested with the people, not with just a select few. Many of whom," she added, "are barely tolerated, much less trusted, by those who live in the sectors they represent."
"Indeed," Pooja heard Madlyn add. "Was Roloff Fintiv still a Moff at that time?" She asked, referring to one particularly-corrupt Moff who had died under mysterious circumstances nearly a decade before.
Panaka sighed. "Point taken, Miladies. The Senate was not told because the Emperor felt that corrupt business beings would influence the Senate against it, fearing to lose their profits." He glanced at them both and grimaced at their incredulous scowls. "I was skeptical on that reason myself, I will admit."
Pooja shook her head. Not only had the Emperor hidden this from the Senate, but they had been perfectly blind to it as well. But how? Despite their waning power, the Senate still had maintained a firm hold on some things, specifically the Imperial finances.
"How did they get funding?"
The Governor did not answer at first as he struggled to recall. "I believe the funds were gathered by the Emperor through donations from several different avenues." He shrugged slightly. "That was one of the many suspicious aspects of the entire project."
Pooja narrowed her eyes, searching her own memory. Palpatine had been granted a very… generous salary by an adoring Senate not long after he'd formed the Empire. He'd also dipped into the government's coffers on occasion as well, but not enough for such an undertaking…
She nearly leapt out of her seat when it all clicked in her mind. Turning, she said urgently, "Amarié! Get the Senators' records and bring them here. Hurry!"
"Pooja," Madlyn barked harshly, "what is it?"
She turned back, no longer watching Amarié rushing out of the throne room, and stared at them. Both the Queen and Governor Panaka were staring at her penetratingly, clearing wanting an explanation. After a moment, she gave them one.
"Before we left the capital, I ordered one of my handmaidens to download all of the private files of the various Senators," Pooja informed them, ignoring their small smiles of amusement. "I skimmed through some, including their receipts, which included their personal purchases and charitable donations."
Madlyn frowned in confusion. "How is this important? I sincerely doubt that the Emperor sold off his possessions to pay for this space station -"
"The Death Star."
The two women turned to look at Panaka. "Tarkin called the station 'the Death Star,'" he elaborated bitterly. "I am unsure if that was the official name for it, or just his personal designation."
An awkward silence reigned for several minutes, neither women knowing how to respond to his statements. It was not until Amarié hurried back into the spacious room, carrying the datachip. Upon seeing her, Pooja quickly stood up and instructed her to pull up the private records.
"Also," she added as she came to stand behind the handmaiden, "run a comparison on the charities they donated to. We are looking for the ones that the majority of Senators were giving to."
"Yes, Milady," Amarié murmured quietly as she began to work.
"What are you looking for, Senator Lydonia?" Panaka asked as he stood up to move closer to them.
"The largest charities are the most visible and well known," she answered. "It's usually been the custom of my colleagues to support the organizations that bring about the most visible results." Pooja shook her head wryly. "Many of them thought that it improved their images in the public's eye by appearing to have taken part in such good deeds."
Still seated on the throne, the Queen shook her head. "But what does this have to do with the money for the Death Star?"
"One moment please, Majesty," she said, her eyes sweeping over the list that had appeared on the monitor. "Interplanetary Children's Fund, no. The Imperial Anti-Slavery Trust, no." She continued to look through the names, but stopped abruptly.
"What is it?" Panaka demanded, attempting to look over her shoulder.
"The Former Separatist Reintegration Movement and the Outer Rim Reconstruction Fund," Pooja read aloud, frowning deeply. "I was of the impression that those were discontinued several years ago… along with the Clone Wars Veterans' Fund," she added, taking another glance further down the list.
The Moff nodded in agreement. "Yes, they were. Most of the veterans were taken care of and they settled down on the world of their choice. Though, some did choose to stay in the military service. The Separatist worlds were kept under occupational status for quite some time, but they were eventually brought back into the fold. But the ORRF did fall under the radar when the Hutts and their disreputable ilk began to take an even greater hold of the goings on in the Outer Rim territories."
"So, why would a clear majority of Senators be funding charities that are no longer in use," Madlyn asked. "You don't think…" She trailed off.
"That Palpatine used the records of the defunct organizations to whittle away a little money at a time from their accounts?" Pooja finished grimly. "Yes, I do, Your Majesty."
As she said this, she glanced in Panaka's direction, half-expecting him to fly into a rage and come vehemently to the Emperor's defense. But he was clearly lost in thought and took no notice of her gaze.
For several minutes, the silence lengthened. Sighing, Pooja turned around and went back to her seat, where Niaé and Meliaé both still stood as silent sentinels. "Your Majesty, Governor," she said softly, her voice echoing eerily in the large room. "I think we have to consider that the people have been betrayed by the leader who should have protected them."
"Why," Panaka cut in just as quietly, though Pooja could hear near desperation entering into his tone. "This could just mean that he stole the Senators' money. There is nothing here to suggest -"
"Hugh," Madlyn said as she stood up. She walked over to him and rested a small hand on his grey-clad shoulder. "I think you need to let it go. He is not worth such an honorable man defending his actions."
The older man slumped slightly and after several moments, nodded and closed his eyes wearily. Carefully, she led him over to his chair and gently pushed him into it. The Queen then looked up to one of her nearby handmaidens.
"Taliaé," she ordered, "get the Governor a brandy, please."
As the young woman moved off, Madlyn turned back to Pooja, who had been silent since Panaka's small outburst.
"Pooja, I understand what you are saying. I will even go as far to say that I agree with you. But I also know that you would say that the solution would be to join the Rebel Alliance against the Empire. You want revenge for the injustices and murders on the Imperial government's hands."
Staring resolutely up at her monarch, she nodded, but said nothing.
"But surely you can see the folly of such a move, my friend? Alderaan was long out-spoken against the Emperor and now they've been dealt with. I will not support going down a path that will lead us to the same fate. We have lost enough," she said firmly. "Open defiance will only bring about our own destruction."
Pooja opened her mouth, hoping to say something, anything, to salvage the situation, but then stopped. She had said 'open defiance…'
"What do you propose then, Your Majesty?" She asked at length.
"I am proposing that we distance ourselves from all sides in this growing conflict. The people will want nothing to do with someone who permitted not only the murders of our friends, but also some of our own children and families as well." The Queen's eyes darkened as she spoke. "But I do not wish to involve our world in a movement to restore the system of government that failed the Naboo when we needed justice the most."
Pooja blinked in confusion. "Your Highness, I do not understand."
Madlyn turned around and returned to the throne. "You of all people should know, Pooja," she retorted with growing heat. "After all, it was your Aunt who sought out the Senate's assistance in bringing the Neimoidians to justice for their unlawful invasion. Instead, they preferred to foolishly discuss it in a committee! The Rebel Alliance seeks to bring such horrors back upon us!"
She felt stunned. Pooja had always been aware of her friend's cynicism towards the Old Republic, but she had no idea her resentment ran so deep. She glanced over at Panaka, who was sipping on the small glass of brandy he'd been given while staring in her direction. He shook his head minutely, warning her off the idea of replying to the Queen's words.
Pooja took his silent advice. Turning back to Madlyn, she asked, "How do you think Imperial Center will react to us pulling away?"
"Economic sanctions, perhaps," the Queen guessed, having calmed herself slightly. "I do not believe they will have time to do more than that. If we are the only world planning to do this, then I will be very surprised." Her lips twitched in a grim manner. "Imperial Center is going to be very occupied in the coming times, I think. And if it does come to a full blockade, well, the several past rulers have worked successfully to make Naboo as self-sufficient as possible. We will manage."
Pooja nodded but before she could say anything, Panaka again found his voice.
"It is a good plan, Your Highness," he said a little hoarsely. "I will do what I can to help. Perhaps, if this causes any major upset at Imperial Center, I will do my best to downplay the situation."
Pooja started in surprise. Had the Queen's earlier words to him actually penetrated his shocked mind? Panaka must have noticed her look, because he smiled slightly.
"I have never lost my loyalty to my home, Senator," he said to her. "I would give my life for Naboo. And I will do whatever is within my power to protect this world, as well as the others in my care."
Slowly, she nodded. Perhaps she had been wrong in believing him to be completely blinded by his issues with the past and seeing him as just one of Palpatine's cronies.
"Come my friends," Madlyn said to them both as she stood to leave the throne room, "we have much to do."
Pooja nodded and stood to follow. Just before she left, she thought she saw a lone figure standing in the shadows cast by the sun shining brightly through the enormous windows, dressed in a flame-colored cloak. But when she turned slightly to get a better look, there was no one there.