Wow... gee... that looks better.Ahem, I am glad to pronounce, due to the wonderful amount of reviews and all, that I WILL continue! Yes, aren't I a zippy writer? Today I feel so happy and grateful to...

Dragon Star16 (for some odd reason... can't e-mail some of you...)

gamma-rae

Cherry-SweetHeart

.x.original.star.x. (who i just realized was on my alerts)

There was my life, there was my happy life, and there was my unhappy life. There was my family, and my lost family. I felt, what could be made out of unhappiness? What could I make out of sadness? What happiness could a lost family bring? How could you bring your family back? And… what would be the point of living if it were a gloomy one, a life with unhappy faces and no smiles, a life that was once the perfect picture, and then was a shattered mirror? And as I gaze into the shattered mirror, all I see is broken pieces… broken pieces of the mirror… and broken pieces of myself. Is that the life I want to live in forever? So… I chose a simple way of destroying this life. It was suicide.

My life was meaningless. My life is meaningless. I have been chasing after the wind for all these years. What is the point to live such a life, to live such a meaningless life without happiness?

I turned over on my bed, a tear streaming down my face as I listened to the three steps… a click… and then the door quietly closing. My dad had gone to work.

Another tear as I listened to the shower drops, as I listened to my brother taking a shower. I waited for him to step out of the shower and for him to leave the house.

When I heard the door slam for the second time… there were tear stains on my cheeks, still a few droplets streaking down, plunging into depths unknown… that was me. I was the little tear drop, slipping across and plunging into death… then splattering… and then…

I sat up, brushed my hand across my skin to wipe away those tears. There was no need of crying now; I was going to die anyway. There would be tears after I die… mourning and tears… and regrets. And I will meet my mother in heaven tonight. I will stay there forever, happily in my mother's embrace.

There was no gun in this house. But there were knives.

My pace was slow and unsteady… should I really do this?

Yes.

Step… step… step… down the stairs.

Step… step… step…. Stop.

Why was I killing myself again?

You hate this life.

Another step… step… step… step… step… step… I had reached the bottom of the staircase, and I was on the first floor.

Why was it that my feet dragged along and somehow wanted to stop? Why was it that my hands were trembling as I reached up to take the knife? Why was it… that I felt something tugging me… trying to hold me back while one was pushing me… making me eager to grab hold of the knife?

What should I choose?

And now it brings me childish memories.

I had been the perfect little girl, with the perfect little family.

I had everything. I was everything. My life was worth something.

I had big plans to grow up. I had the greatest, biggest plans.

I wanted to be this… and that… or maybe even that. Sometimes I wanted to be an ice skater, or a vet, or artist.

I was like an ordinary kid.

When I was young, I cried and bawled and giggled and slept and drank milk.

When I was a toddler, I learned to draw with crayons and use the wall as my paper. I learned to eat finger foods and get all messy. And I learned to read 'the…' and 'sheep…' and 'me…'. And I learned to say 'mine'.

When I was a little older, I learned to draw on paper, and I made my future plans. I went to school and I made new friends and old friends.

And then it came to this.

My mother died.

My father got a new girlfriend.

My brother never talked.

And me? I had lost love. I was going to do suicide.

My hands are touching the knife, my fingertips barely to the handle.

And then I realize all those treasured memories… that I will lose… and those big dreams I will never fulfill. I think about what my mother would want… and what my father would want… and what my brother would want… what Tomoyo would want.

I think about those pictures and memories that will never be caught again… and that it would all end here and now.

Did I want that?

My hands are curled around the wooden handle, and I am slowly lifting it up.

It's not a question. It's a decision. What was I going to do? Did I want this?

The knife is still sliding…

Mother would be unhappy… father would regret… big brother and Tomoyo would be sad… and me? What share would I have to that? There would be more consequences, more sadness… and our family would all come to a complete collapse.

Hasn't our love already breached?

The knife is out… but it stops, hanging in midair.

No. Our love still has a chance, there is someone who can save that love, someone who can bring us all together.

The knife…

I can.

I can bring us all back together.

…drops.

I listen to the loud shatter… the loud clunk.

Mother would want that…

The front door opens abruptly. Someone's home.

Father would want that…

"Sakura!"

Touya would want that…

Footsteps… dashing footsteps… a stop.

Tomoyo would want that…

"Sakura…"

Someone's behind me, and that someone draws me closer to them… and then gives me an embrace.

And I would want that too.

I do want that.

-

Those memories… those painful memories… they hurt so much, they hurt my heart. When I think about them, I feel my eyes turning red, and when I close them, I feel tears streaming down my face. I couldn't stop thinking about them… I couldn't stop thinking about it… about those memories. But I had my mother. As I thought about them, my mother held me in her arms, she wrapped them around me tight. I felt limp, cold, and weak, but with my mother, my dear mother, I felt her strong arms, her warmth, and her love. She had tried to protect me, but it was time to remember them. She wouldn't be able to keep me away from them forever, because they are memories. They can never be locked away, stored away, thrown away. Because they are memories.

"Mother… did father go away for good?"

She didn't answer. I felt something wet fall onto my hand. It wasn't my tear. It was my mother's. She was silent, a heartbreaking lapse between us as we remembered, as our memories came back to us.

"Yes." She finally said. Another tear fell onto my hand. And then another tear. One of them was my mother's, and the other was mine.

"But… you wouldn't go away from me… right?" I closed my eyes.

"No, Tomoyo, you will always be my beloved, dear Tomoyo. My daughter. My only daughter."

I loved the way she 'my daughter' and her only daughter. Those words felt comforting, because I knew she would never give me away.

"I won't ever go away from you." I smiled.

Though she didn't move at all, I knew she was smiling too.

I wanted to make her smile more. So then I said.

"And our life is perfect too. We have everything we ever needed, everything we ever wanted. Love."

My smile… it was true. I did have everything I ever needed, everything I ever wanted. I had my mother's love, and she had my love. And finally, as though my soul had been washed and cleansed, as though I had turned over as a new leaf… that painful memory and that greedy feeling was gone. My life was starting all over.

Yes, quite a disappointment, don't you think? Sakura doesn't die... and Tomoyo's story is super short. Well, golly, you'd think I was happy while I was writing this? Grumbling about my 0 reviews? And then all of a sudden pops up a few more reviews... too late, so it's just too bad...but if I get more reviews... ha ha... I justmight turn the next one into the ending. Nothing gaurenteed. Hm.