Change of Heart
By: Crazy-cherry
-Chapter 9-
Misha fought hard, but it was a losing battle and Syaoran knew it, and watched as she fell into slumber much easier than he ever would from now on.
Standing up and walking to the window he watched as the clouds gathered more ominously in the sky. He knew the reason they were there, they were there to tease him and show him what his life would be like from now on. The only exception to that are his two children, Misha and Kyo. He had no way of knowing what Kyo would think of him, he didn't doubt that the boy would hate him. He was only so lucky that Misha had come so easily to him.
Looking over his shoulder he watched the monitors continue to work, Kyo looked so fragile lying in that bed that it broke his heart again. Clearing the knot in his throat, he looked over at Misha asleep in a chair. He had always wondered what his child would have looked like if Sakura hadn't miscarried, and now he didn't have too. They were right in front of him two beautiful human beings both breathing. Holding his breath to fight the tears that were building in his eyes he continued to watch them, and when he let his breath out the tears and the chocking sobs all came crashing out of him.
Sliding to the floor he leaned against the wall, and cried tears of pain and joy, he had lost the only women he had ever truly cared for and gained two amazing children. Though to him it wasn't fare, he should have been able too both, he should have had them all her and his children.
She was gone and nothing he could do would ever change that, she had given up her life for her son, and in the end saved him; it was both selfish of her and unselfish. She had given up on her life, he had seen it in her eyes, and read it on her soul; the night they had made love he knew that she was the same, beautiful and vibrant. She seemed more alive to him then, but after she had seemed to almost be walking in a daze not really being there, but always there.
She had lived for so long with a secret that she had kept to the end for his happiness, and for the good of his life. No matter how wrong she was to leave she had done it for both reasons again selfish and unselfish.
Turning he watched the slow beeping of the monitors and soon fell into sleep, where all his demons came to haunt him.
When he finally woke up Dr. Kudo was in the room checking up on Kyo's vital signs.
He watched as the man checked his son's heart and then wrote notes on the chart in his hand. When Dr. Kudo turned around and faced him Syaoran could almost see the way Sakura had looked the day they had bumped into each other in the market. That however made the guilt and pain of losing her more apparent in him.
Standing up from the floor he stood by the bed and watched as his son's chest rose and feel, the anxiety that he felt was much worse when that man was in the room and it only grew more so now because he seemed to be watching him.
Turning, he looked at Dr. Kudo and had to hold back the bitterness in his voice as he looked at the man that had spent so much time with his children and Sakura, "Is there something I can help you with?"
Dr. Kudo clinched his hand and tried to stop the shaking as he prepared to give the man in front of him the most important news he could ever deliver.
"I'd like to show you something, but only you at this moment." Turning around he started for the door and then turned around and waited for the man to follow him out of the room.
"I don't want to leave Misha and Kyo alone, I'm sorry." Turning to watch his son again he missed the frown that passed over the Doctors face.
"I think you should come with me I need someone to make some medical decisions about a certain patient in the C.C.U. it's extremely important that you come with me." Trying not to let his impatiens come through.
"What's so important that you need me there; my son is here?" Confused and angry he didn't know what to do so he only nodded his head when the doctor explained that they needed someone to identify a patient.
Looking down at his children he was glad that he didn't have to tell Misha that he had to go for a little bit so that he could identify Sakura's body. Swallowing the bile that rose in his throat he continued to follow the Doctor down the corridor.
"She's in here I'll need you to state her name and her relationship to you, and any known allergens and prier medical history if you know any." Stepping out of the way he watched as the man walked into the room and froze. He couldn't help, but feel a stab of pain as he looked in on a man finding that he might have a second chance only to know that it could still be taken away from him.
"How long has she been here?" rasped Syaoran as he walked over to the bed and placed his hand over hers. Trying to breath, he looked up and watched the heart monitor to assure himself that what he was seeing was real. When the monitors continued to beep he took in a shaky breath and looked down at her again.
"If it wasn't her heart then who's?" turning he looked at the Doctor and waited for an answer.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to disclose that information to you only the family of the donator is allowed to do that." Doctor Kudo looked away not knowing if he should have told him who it was or not.
After getting all the information needed about the girl Dr. Kudo turned and walked down the hall to the nurses station and gave them the information needed, and he did all of this while hiding the worry behind a mask that he had perfected years before. He wore this mask now because he still did not know whether she would make it through. Right now she's on the breathing monitor, not breathing on her own, but with the help of a machine, and once taken off of it she will either breathe on her own or die. It's interlay up to fate what will happen next.
-Police Department-
Fugitaka sat in a seat next to Toya as they listened to the detective recount the night of the shooting. Neither wanted to sit and listen to how she had died. Fugitaka sat with his hands folded in his lap as he tried hard to just ignore what was being said, but he could still hear. Each word that left the detectives lips made the thought of waking up the next day seems so hard, so pointless. Everything seemed that way now after all your children aren't supposed to die before you.
Maybe it was karma for all the things he had done wrong because he knew there were many things in life that he could have done differently. Leaning back he let the next on slot of happenings sink in. They had just told him about what happened at the park but not why it had happened. He didn't know if he could sit through that part knowing that his little girl was killed for no reason at all, but for just being there, what kind of death is that, a death for just being. The thought made his stomach turn, just for being in that spot someone felt she deserved to die.
Turning he looked over at Toya who seemed to be listening to everything the detective said with a feeling that he knew what his son was thinking even before he did. He knew Toya would write this and then put it away in a box and take it out once a year and drink a bottle of scotch while he reads it, at least that's what he'd do.
Going back to the detective he tried to concentrate on this part if not to understand why then to have the knowledge of what had been the reason this man had killed her.
"The affair had been going on for a years and when the wife had found out she had cut her husband from seeing his children. The man had been furious with his wife, but could say nothing and when he tried to reconcile with his wife and she accepted on the terms that he never see his mistress again the man happily agreed however; when he told this to the woman she didn't seem to take it seriously and contacted him again. The two of them where seen in a bar that night talking and kissed goodbye not knowing that the husband had been followed and the wife had found out and pulled out of the agreement." Padding he looked at the two men sitting in front of him and he could tell that they were frustrated with the whole story.
"Later that night the man called his wife and asks her to meet him at the park he had something to talk to her about and when she refused to even see him, he became agitated and grew even more angry with the woman, so then for reasons we can only speculate on he must have figured that if he took care of the problem and took it out of their life for good that his wife would take him back. He went to the park that night with a fully loaded gun and when he got there and saw your daughter he thought it was the woman he was supposed to meet, but by the time he had figured out that it was the wrong woman he had already fired the gun."
Toya looked passed the man clinched his jaw, he was furious that the only reason his little sister had lost her life was because some man couldn't keep his pants zipped. Standing abruptly he turned and walked out of the room leaving his father to take care of everything. Bracing his hands on the windowpane he fought the onslaught of tears that were fighting to come. His baby sister was dead because of a man who couldn't control himself and the man had nothing to do with her he just killed her because he felt he had that right. Then the bastard killed himself so no justice could be made and that was what made him so furious he could never watch the bastard rot in jail.
Fugitaka soon joined his son, and together they left the station huddled together against the storm raging around them.
-Hospital-
"When are you going to tell her family that she's still alive?" Tomoyo looked over at Syaoran expecting him to say he would tell them now, but he didn't answer. "You are going to tell them aren't you? You have to tell them, you can't just let them suffer, she's alive!" Tomoyo was standing by the time she had finished yelling and was seething.
"What if she dies's tonight? What if she dies after they find out and have so much hope that she's alive and not dead, and then she dies when they take her off of that machine?" He couldn't raise his voice the only thing he could do was whisper because he knew she would soon see that he was right. "If we tell them she's alive, and then their hopes are up, and then we take her off of the breathing monitor and she does die. What then they just say oh well we gave it a shot, no they'll be heart broken all over again, and I don't want to see that I don't want those kids in there thinking that their mother is alive and going to walk right back in that door, hell no I'd rather them think she's dead until she's truly alive." Looking over at Kyo through the glass window he felt only a small pain in his chest when he looked at the little boy that was slowly waking up, he didn't want to have to tell him that is mother was dead.
He didn't even know if the kid would like him, and somehow he doubted that he would, he knew the little boy would resent him. Somehow he felt he deserved that resentment after all this was mostly his fault the man that had shot their mother was married to his ex-fiancées sister and had been sleeping with his ex-fiancée and then killed her so it was his fault. He knew he should have gone after her, but he was so drained after he had found out that she had lost his baby that he felt dead, but she hadn't lost his baby she had, had two beautiful babies, and they were his.
"She'll make it you have to believe that, if only a little you still have to, someone has to!" Tomoyo didn't know what was worse having her gone or barely here. She knew of course that what he said was true Kyo and Misha would be heart broken all over again if they told them.
Turning she looked down the hall Toya and Fugitake where heading their way and she didn't know what to do, but one look at Syaoran told her to hold her tongue, nodding her put on her best act and went through the rest of the day as if nothing had changed.
As the day carried on to night Kyo woke up, but with all of the medicine he had been given to help him with his recovery it was as if he wasn't really there. Misha sat and talked with him regardless and kept her promise not to say anything to her brother about their mother. She read him is favorite book, and told him about all of her adventures in the last few weeks.
Misha tried her hardest not to cry out for her mother when she was around others, they had so much to worry about than her so she kept to her self. Her heart felt so heavy looking out at the storm, it seemed that her heart as well as everyone else's was on display for the world to see. Hugging her sweater to her she continued to stare out the window and watch the rain fall from the sky, she no longer flinched when light struck the sky, that was a least something she was thankful for.
-Syaoran-
He couldn't remember the last time he went for a walk through the downtown district all the shops and people that walked around seemed to be oblivious to him and the ragging storm all around them and in him. He felt as though he was given a second chance only to have it taken from him.
When Kyo had woken up the first thing he wanted was his mother and all he got was a sister and father then latter the rest of his family. He could still see the uncertainty in Kyo's eye's as he sat with him and talked to him. Whether that hurt him or not he didn't know all he knew was that the boy was okay, and breathing with a working heart.
Stopping he looked up at the Hospital before he entered it, it had been three days since Kyo woke and only twenty minutes from unhooking Sakura from the breathing monitor. Thinking about it made his stomach turn, but he knew it was something he had to do. He'd survive one way or another.
Walking down the hall towered her room he held back his fears and pushed up his shield no one would see his hurt or his hatred only his outward expression.
Walking into the room he looked at her and saw her as she was when they had first met in Japan he had fallen in love with her after only one day with her, and he had told her only after a month that he wanted only her and that no one else would ever do for him. He had been so scared that she would laugh at him that he had waited to tell her that he loved her until she had told him she felt the same and to his surprise she had told him she loved him and the moment she had he had never known that one word could make him so happy.
Holding back his tears he watched as the doctor entered the room Tomoyo behind him, she looked tired and he knew it was from keeping such a horrid secret. Nodding at the doctor he stepped away and watched as two other nurses walked in with charts and stood by the end on the bed.
Everything seemed to go so slowly as the machine was turned off, the room was completely silent nothing but the beep of the heart monitor and the sound of his own heart.
Soon minutes passed and the sound continued, Tomoyo began to smile and sigh in relief but he knew better it took time for these things to set in and in a few more minutes they would know.
Dr. Kudo looked over the monitor and counted off the remaining seconds in his head and the closer the time came for the doctor in charge of her to finish and declare her officially off the mentor.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
"All right, she's off and seems her brain waves are starting to gain normalcy her breathing is coming in fine and seems to me that she'll make a full recovery." As soon as the words left the mans mouth Tomoyo leapt for joy and Syaoran sank into the chair beside him.
Tomoyo looked over at Syaoran and smiled, and then laughed as she saw him nod his head, and as soon as she saw it she was out of the room and running down the hall.
He looked over at Sakura and breathed a sigh of relief the only thing he now had to worry about was when she would wake up. Standing he walked over to her bed and placed his hand in hers.
Smiling he watched as she slept, he could not thank the Lord enough for not letting his second chance slip through his fingers.
-Next day-
Nothing had surprised him more then the fact that he had a black eye, and from the one person who could never lay a punch on him at that. Looking in the mirror he winced, the swelling went down over the night, but his anger didn't leave him until he was able to return the favor.
No one had left the room in fear that she just might only be a figment of their imagination.
Misha and Kyo where still kept unaware of the situation, and would remain that way until she was fully awake. They had all agreed on that last night.
Sitting in the chair next to her holding her hand made his heart beat so sweetly that he could almost believe that she was still his. That thought of her still being his made him feel as though he were complete, even if it was only temporarily.
Looking out the window he watched as the rain continued to come down, it had stopped for a few hours and then started up and then stopped again, and soon it would be moving further up north. He could already see the clouds moving away and the light starting to show more through the clouds.
"Syaoran…?"
The sound of his own name brought him back down to reality he looked toward the entrance of the room but found no one there, the only thing that made him think of Sakura was the slight increase of pressure on his hand turning around he looked at the sleepy eyed beauty in front of him.
Choking he looked at her and without thinking kissed her, when he pulled back he could only smile and allowed the pain to come flowing out as he looked at her. "You're alive and breathing on your own, god you're alive!" Kissing her again he placed both his hands on the side of her head looked right at her, the only thing he could think of to say at that moment was exactly what he felt. "I love you, don't you ever leave me again, I nearly died the first time, and the second time I only survived because of our children, but if you leave me one more time I will die I know I will." Kissing her once more he looked at her tear streaked face and soon realized that it wasn't just her tears, but his as well.
He watched as she struggled to fight off the weariness, and felt the tips of her fingers press into his stomach and he took her hands into his and smiled down at her.
"Kyo?"
Syaoran smiled sadly down at her, he knew deep down that she would never want to come back to him, "He got a heart, and he pulled through the surgery and is now fully awake and well he still has a lot of therapy to go through, but the doctors say he'll pull through."
"Misha?"
"She sits with him everyday and reads him that book 'Are You My Mother' I could tell you it right now I know it by heart. She's lost a little weight but Tomoyo and your father are making sure she eats all her food."
Sakura smiled and squeezed his hand. "I love you too."
Taking in a deep breath before he could trust himself to say anything, "Good now I wont have to force you to marry me." Smiling he watched as that sank in and kissed her again when she smiled back at him.
"Oh my god she's awake!" Tomoyo yelled as she raced to the bed side and pushed Syaoran out of the way so that she could talk to her cousin. Soon after she came in Fujataka and Toya came rushing into the room and soon the doctor came in as well.
Syaoran left the room and went to speak to Dr. Kudo about something.
Everyone in the room stopped talking when two little body's squeezed through and onto the bed and hugged their mother, who cried in return not only for her little boy being well and sitting next to her, but for everything in the end that worked out.
Looking through everyone she met Syaoran's smiling face and smiled, everything in the end had worked out, and she had her family together again just like she had always hopped for.
THE END
I feel like there could have been so much more drama and suspense in this chapter so I'm sorry if this seems a little bad for an ending, but hey IT'S FINISHED! I'm so fragisticly happy it's not even funny! Lol!
Well I hope that the story was all that you guy's hoped it would be, and until the next story, ADIUE!