A scene from the story titled "Arda."
Author's Note: This one isn't as polished as some of the others, but remains interesting. And yep, I think Zorpox is fun - both because he's adept and because he can be used in situations that Ron simply could not (or that Ron would be very limited in).
"I just can't believe Ron would do something like that," Kim shook her head in disbelief, leaning back against the blackened steel sideboard of the flying craft and staring at Ron as he piloted the vessel. "Even evil Ron is still Ron ... or at least, I'd have thought he was."
Shego smirked and waved a hand dismissively. "Don't shed any tears over it, Kimmie. He's just testing his evil wings. He'll settle down."
Kim raised an eyebrow and stared at the villainess. "What does that mean?" she asked, a hint of confusion leavened with distrust in her voice.
Shego looked over the sea of trees that they were flying over. "There's all kinds of evil, Kimmie. As many different kinds as there are different people - and there's a lot of people in the world - whether you're talking about this one, or ours."
"That makes... a certain kind of sense, I suppose. And?" Kim prompted.
Shego paused, trying to clarify her thoughts. "Look, when it comes to the big time evil - me, Dementor, Monkey Fist, even Killagan, we've pretty much figured out who we are, what kind of evil we are."
"Okay..." Kim's brow furrowed, but she still nodded for Shego to continue.
"Ron on the other hand... he went right from being a goody-two-shoes white hat to being a full blown supervillain - without any of the steps in between."
Kim blinked. "I guess, sure..."
"Normally, supervillains don't spring up overnight. It takes a lot of time, a lot of baby steps, a lot of lesser villainy, before you suddenly decide you want to hold the world hostage to your 'Nano Imploding Mega Cosmic Whatchamacallit.' Heck, it takes practice just to come up with menacing names for the doohickeys, or to do an evil laugh without snickering because it's such a stupid and clichéd thing to do."
Raising an eyebrow, Kim noted, "I can see you put your time with Señor Senior, Senior to good use."
Shego smirked. "Senior's okay; a bit hung up on the trappings, but he's rich - he can afford to be eccentric like that. Dr. D on the other hand... It doesn't matter if he's in an abandoned warehouse, or the most modern lab, he'll manage to concoct a scheme no matter where he is.
"But don't mistake my point, Kimmie," Shego continued. "Villainy. You start off with a little robbery, a little assault, a little B&E, you work your way up. Or you drop out. Maybe spend some time as a henchman, maybe being a sidekick for a few years, get some practice, some exposure, do some networking, figure out what you're good at - or evil at, in this case."
"Thinking of spreading your own evil wings?" Kim asked curiously.
Shego actually laughed at that. "Not yet; taking over the world's too much like real work," she snickered. "Plus, I like still being low enough on the totem pole that I get put in a minimum security facility when Dr. D's schemes fall apart."
"I've always wondered about that," Kim frowned.
"Degrees of evil," Shego waved dismissively. "Which gets back to my point. Most people - most villains, even - never reach supervillain status. It takes a certain kind of evil to do the things we do, and less of other kinds of evil. It's a fine line, and as you work your way up the evil hierarchy, you find which side of that line you fall on. Most stick to the lower rungs, some go legit, a few become supervillains, a few more... go to the other side of the line."
Seeing Kim was confused, Shego tried to explain, "There's evil, and then there's evil." When Kim looked like she was going to interrupt again, she continued, "Think of it as the difference between Senior's evil, and Hitler's evil. Not exactly a kinder, gentler evil, but you should get the point. There are lines me and Dr. D won't cross; it's not the same as Dementor's line, or Monkey Fist's, but we've all got one."
Kim nodded, as Shego continued. "What supervillainy really means is that you're not a serious enough threat that the world's militaries start contemplating lobbing cruise missiles at you, or sending assassins, or SEAL teams, or whatever, but you're taken seriously enough that the governments won't hang up when you call to make your demands. I can think of a couple names of would-be supervillains who were real up and comers, but you'll have never heard of them. The reason for that being that they all had unfortunate and highly improbable and totally untraceable 'accidents' that cut their evil careers short."
Kim looked vaguely disturbed at that, but Shego simply smirked. "You can bet Dr. Betty Director didn't lose her eye in an unfortunate paper shuffling mishap." Kim looked even more disturbed at that possibility. "I know I'm good at what I do, but..." Shego shrugged. "You know how it goes. Heck, you saw what happened when Ron rented you a squad.
"Which brings us back to Ron," Shego leaned back and ran a hand through her hair. "Ron's suddenly a supervillain, blood and bone, but he doesn't really understand what that means. He's got the drive, he's got the impulses, but he didn't work his way up from petty villainy, learning what kind of evil he really is, what kinds of stuff he likes to - and can - do. So he has to improvise."
Remembering the events at Helm's Deep, Kim shook her head, refusing to believe it. "Some improvisation."
"Don't judge, Kimmie. You don't..." Shego breathed deeply, quelling her sudden flash of anger before she continued.
"See, most people," Shego continued, picking up her thread as though Kim hadn't spoken, her voice rigidly controlled, "if they think about supervillain-type evil, they mainly think about movies, books, maybe a few 'true crime' TV shows if they caught the bug early enough, that sort of thing."
"Makes sense. So what?"
"Ron isn't most people. He knows all of those, plus he's got the examples of all the villains you two have ever faced, all the ones he's ever heard of, all the ones he's met... If Ron was the type, he could probably write an encyclopedia of evil supervillains - past and present."
"I repeat: so what? That would apply to me, too - and you."
"Hello... evil already," Shego pointed to herself, then to Kim, "And not evil... yet."
Kim snorted. "Right."
Shego shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. Most white hats do just fade into obscurity; but it's not unheard of."
"So, not," Kim insisted.
"Case in point," Shego pointed to herself again. "But we're getting off topic."
Kim nodded, and waited expectantly.
"See, Ron is suddenly big time evil, but doesn't know what that means for him because he didn't... grow evil, if you know what I mean. But he does have a ton of examples to emulate - so he is. What he's doing is trying on different people's evils, seeing if they fit him. Well, except for that evil laugh of his... I don't have a clue where that came from."
Kim stared at Ron as he worked the controls, trying to see the real Ron through the "evil" he was trying on.
"I recognize bits of Dementor's shtick in the way he acts sometimes, plus there's Dr. D's mad scientist thing he's got going, and either he really misses his little rat-thing, or he's tried to emulate Gemini, too - you can be thankful you weren't around for that one; I thought Saruman was going to blow a gasket when Ron pulled that one."
Frowning thoughtfully, Kim thought back to the Middleton High cafeteria, when Ron's implanted evil had first started to manifest itself. With Shego's prompting, and the benefit of hindsight, it was clear Ron had used a flashlight in a way that resembled one of Professor Dementor's 'dramatic villain lights.' And the way he'd stroked Rufus? It was a lot like Gemini with Pepe, or like the head of G.H.O.S.T. from that 770 spy movie... "Is she right?" Kim wondered. "Is Ron just acting like he thinks a supervillain - or all supervillains - are supposed to act?"
"I blame you for some of his attitude, though," Shego smirked. "He's got a real touchy thing going about how sidekicks are supposed to behave and not letting anyone control him..."
"I never controlled him!" Kim protested.
"Oh, puh-lease," Shego rolled her eyes.
Kim flushed as she remembered telling her mother, 'I know what's best for Ron, even if he doesn't,' when she had compelled Ron to get his now infamous new haircut. "Well, maybe a little."
"So, he's spreading his evil wings," Shego shrugged. She looked away as she concluded, "He's finding his way. Even with some of the things he's done, it's actually kind of... cute."
Kim's eyebrows shot up. "Cute? First mom, now you... what is it with older women thinking Ron's cute?" she demanded. "He is so not cute!"
Shego snarled at Kim's description of her, but managed to control her outburst of temper. "It's not like I'm picking out a china pattern to steal or anything, but lets face it; finding a 'good' man to hook up with is tough in our line of work."
Wincing slightly, Kim had to grant the point, but Shego pressed on without waiting for a response.
"Add in the whole 'evil' thing, and it's even tougher," Shego continued. "There's lots of types of evil, and not all of them work well together, even if the guy won't stab you in the back first chance he gets - that's one of the reasons why I stuck with Dr. D for so long; it might not seem like we have much in common, but we still work together reasonably well, and aside from his little cloning fetish, I could sort of trust him. I tried to teach Junior to be like me, and it worked for a time, but he was just too shallow; it didn't really take. A boy toy is fine for a weekend, but long term? Please. There's not enough money in the world.
"So along comes Ron. Or Zorpox, whatever... His evil, my evil? It's beginning to look like they're not so different, really. Maybe it's the similar background thing. Who cares? Point is, it's interesting enough to make me willing to stick around, see how he turns out despite the inevitable rough patches."
Kim goggled at Shego, utterly aghast.
"What?" Shego asked, one corner of her lips tilting up in a smirk. "You never thought about it? While he was following you around like a whipped puppy just begging to be stroked?" her voice had regained some of its mocking edge.
"Can I just say, eww to that?" Kim demanded.
Shego laughed. "Sometimes I forget how young you really are, Kimmie." She stretched languorously as she eyed Kim's reaction curiously. "You're such a good fighter, I tend to ignore the other parts of your personality. But for your information, there are a lot worse people to hook up with than someone who worships the ground you walk on; get a few more years of experience under your belt and you'll learn that lesson. Too bad you lost your chance with this one."
"Ron is... He's not Zorpox, he's Ron. And I am going to get him back," Kim promised herself. "Somehow. And not... like..." she waved irritatedly that."
Shego shrugged, leaned back against the gunwale, and looked up at the clouds. "Whatever. Like I said, it's just a possibility. I'm not planning on doing anything until I see how he turns out. It'll be an interesting ride, in any case."
Kim chose not to think too deeply about Shego's choice of words. She simply laid back, parallel to Shego, and tried to get some rest.
"One word of advice?" Shego suddenly broke the uncomfortable silence that had ensued.
Kim debated with herself, but finally did respond, "Yes?"
"While we're on this little journey? If Ron tries to give you a bucket, don't even stop to ask questions. Just say NO." She rolled over and pretended to sleep.
"A bucket?" Kim wondered. "What does a bucket have to do with...? Is Shego just messing with my head?"