Disclaimer: I'm still not Barbara Hall. I still don't own JoA. If I did it would still be on the air.
A/N: Review responses are at the bottom. Enjoy.
It's so hard. All that first night I sat by his bed, stroking his hand and whispering little nonsense words to him. I wouldn't have said that was easy at the time, but now I think it was a walk in the park compared to what I know I should do now. That first night they kept him so drugged up that he didn't wake up, so he didn't know I was there. And for this reason he couldn't yell at me, for leaving him at the party, for being jealous, for not being everything I could have been.
I know he's awake now, I've been getting calls from Helen and Joan to tell me how he's doing. I haven't been up to the hospital since he woke up though. They all tell me that I should go, that he would love to see me. I know they think I might be able to bring him out of the depression he's fallen into. They don't know that this is all my fault, that if it wasn't for me Kevin would be headed off to Arizona in the fall, not off to rehab.
Maybe Kevin doesn't remember, either. They've said he asks for me, and surely if he remembered that night he wouldn't want anything to do with me. But to find out would mean facing him, and I'm not sure I can do that.
A/N2: Wow, not even 24 hours and I have 3 reviews. They're not showing up on the site yet, but that's rather irrelevant if you ask me.
TJ-TeeJay: Thanks for my first review, along with the constructive crit! Sorry about the spelling, when I figure out how to change it without having to re-submit the whole story I'll do so. The site isn't exactly screen reader friendly.
bbplayer005: Thanks!
Iamaclogger: Thanks also for the spelling tip. Being nit-picky about that stuff is fantastic in my opinion, helps me get better.
To anyone else who's reading this, thanks and please review! You review my stuff I'll review yours, if you've written any. See, win/win situation.
Let me know if you have any more ideas for this, I only have one more chapter written so far.