Know your stars
I'm back from jury duty! So far Nami won the case thanks to Harvey Birdman. I'll tell you what he used to blackmail Nami, when the story's finished. But you can guess what it is and tell me to see if you got it right. Today it's the clash of the liars. Who will crack first? Please review! No flames.
"Hello? Is any one there? Well. I guess this isn't the bathroom. Huh, A chair. I Captain Usopp am in need of relaxing."
Usopp sat on a chair and a big booming voice announced "Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars!"
Usopp ran behind a chair and trembled. (In a scared tone) "W-w-who g-g-goes t-t-there?"
"Usopp, He sleepwalks but tries to make out with Robin when he's sleep walking."
"What! I don't sleep walk. I Captain Usopp never ever sleep walked. And I don't make out with robin!
"Usopp, he talks to inanimate objects."
"And you rub your grandma's feet and kiss them too!"
The audience laughed and some of them gagged. Then one person from the crowd stood up.
"Hey big booming voice who lies a lot, Can you massage my feet and give me a sponge bath before the Grim Reaper comes!" An old lady shouted.
"Eww. No way you old hag, I would never rub someone's feet!"
"Oh. I'd pay 500 dollars if some one massaged them for me."
Suddenly Mr. Krabs come in with a water helmet. "I'll massage your feet! Add another 100 and I'll give you a sponge bath underwater."
"Now that is just plain wrong!" the voice said.
"Eww, I know what you mean." Usopp agreed
"Usopp, He makes fun of Kaya when she's not around."
"What! Kaya was the person who understood me. Both her parents and my mother died so I accompanied her and told her stories on my pirate adventure!"
"Wait. Didn't you join Luffy's crew after he defeated Captain Kuro?"
"Why yes I did."
"But you- I don't- err- Ahh never mind! Usopp, when you squeeze his nose, it makes honking noises!"
"What! I'm not a squeaking or a honking toy! And so what if my nose is long! It doesn't honk!
"Usopp, he puts his overalls on his head and his bandanna and goggles on his... and parades around saying I'm down I'm upside down man! I'm down I'm upside down man! Please honk my nose for good luck!
"Now that's just sick. And I told you before. My nose doesn't honk! I Captain Usopp and my 80million pirate army will defeat you!"
"You're in charge of weaponry! You're not the Capitan! And there are only seven members in the straw hat crew!"
"Okay maybe there's only 7 of us but I'm in the wanted list!"
"No you aren't! Luffy's in the wanted list for 100,000,000 belli, Zolo's on the wanted list for 60,000,000 belli, Robin's on the wanted list for 79,000,000 belli when she was 8 and it still stands today! You aren't on the wanted list!"
"Yes I am. Give me Luffy's wanted poster."
Suddenly a seagull appeared with the wanted poster in his beak. The bird dropped the poster and dropped something else.
"Eww! That bird pooped on me!"
(Laughs to himself) "Oh sorry Usopp, It didn't mean to use you like a toilet."
"Grr, Ahem, Look right there on the down left corner."
Suddenly a small camera on wires dangled below. The poster was shown on a big screen TV.
"I don't see anything, Just Luffy!"
No. Look down there. There am I! I'm in the wanted picture!"
"That's the back of... It doesn't count! It's Luffy's wanted poster not yours."
"But I'm in the picture right!"
"But- you- I – ahh! I'm not goanna crack to some puny liar like you!"
"I'm not a puny liar! I Captain—"
(Mimicking Usopp) "I'm not a puny liar! I Captain Usopp this or Captain Usopp that! That's it I had it with you!"
"I also had it with you!"
2 hours later of pointless fighting.
"Okay. We both agreed that we're liars right."
"Right"
"And we get on each other's nerves right?"
"Right."
"Do you want to join me in torturing chopper next? It'll be funny!"
"Hmm. I don't know. I have to ask my crewmates."
"No! I mean. Has Nami ever treated you badly?"
"Well. I don't remember."
"You can blackmail her if you want. I have a photo of her right here. I can't use the other one since Nami stole it and sued me for it! But I took a picture of her just before she changed."
"Is that a picture of Nami in a clown suit! Oh this is good! I'll definitely get what I want if I show her this! Oh by the way. What was the thing that you tried to blackmail Nami. Is it a picture, a book, a thing? Oh please tell me!
"Okay. I'll tell you, When we get back stage. Well now you know Usopp. He sleepwalks and tries to make out with Robin, He talks to inanimate objects, He makes fun of Kaya when she's not around, When he squeeze his nose it makes honking sounds, He put his clothes the wrong way and say "I'm upside down man!", And he thinks he's in his own imaginary world."
"Hey! They don't know me and we had a deal!"
"I have to say this or the nick network will fire me! But use the photo well. Oh and she's a thief so don't lose that picture!
"Okay then."
Hey you guys! Please try to guess what did the Voice use to blackmail Nami? And I'm running out of Ideas so can you guys send me some funny questions. I'll do chopper next! See yah!