A/N: Yes, I promised I wouldn't do it, but here's a sequel to 'Sgt. Dionne Warwick.' You don't need to read 'Sgt.' first, but it may help with one small joke at the very end. It's finished, but I'm gonna upload one chapter a day. Have fun with that.
AU, because the only thing I ever remember them saying about SG-10 was they were the team that got sucked into the black hole. Obviously, this SG-10 is not that team. I'm thinking that they were probably the 'lost' team's replacements. Also, if SG-10 was investigating a black hole, I doubt they were a black ops unit. This SG-10 changed functions about the same time they were replacing the old team. Yes, Manda, Doogie Howser was that kid doctor on TV. Also, slight spoiler for Atlantis episode "The Defiant One." Slight as in, if you haven't seen it, you won't notice the spoiler.
Betaed by the world renowned RowenaR. She does a great job and any mistakes are all mine.
On a totally unrelated matter, aren't all fanfics AUs? I mean, if we had to write them, it obviously didn't happen on the show and as such isn't canon. I tried to raise this point with "Sgt..." it went over well so that's going on all my fics now.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Stargate. Gekko does. (That always makes me think of the little lizard with the British accent.) Some other people own it as well. They are all much richer. I think everybody's done a "team member becomes kid fic" so I stole that from the same person everybody else did. There were a few quotes that were inspired by Danvers and the yoghurt thing belongs to Anais. Somebody warned me so I decided to put a blanket thing on all my stories (het, slash, gen,) Please, bring an open mind. Remember, everyone's life is not the same.
We stopped where we could see Archaeo. Lab. 13 if we turned the corner. Alien sat Davis down and he regarded us all with his 'I'm-in-charge-and-have-a-plan' face. Poor Chandraputna didn't know to be frightened. We did; it was the face we saw right before we ended up in a jail cell.
"Alright, Sarge," Davis began, "You go in and distract the Blinkin' Bedrosian..."
"Nyan."
"...Private Harrison, you go down the hall and station yourself around that corner where you'll serve as lookout. Medic Bliss, you will station yourself somewhere down the hall and serve as a lookout. Try not to be obvious. Dr. Chandraputna, you'll stay here and serve as a lookout. If you see the general or SG-1 coming, go tell Medic Bliss. Then, head straight for Sarge's office. Understood?"
"Yes, sir." None of us could help it. He may have been a mini, but he was still our C.O.
Alien walked off, first. She had barely put a foot in the door before the Blinkin' Bedrosian was there.
"Hi, Nyan," she said kissing him on both cheeks. Alien looked over his shoulder and called, "Drew, we don't want the coffee! We want into the room!"
"Sorry, Alien, but Dr. Jackson said..."
"We know what Dr. Jackson said." I had to stifle my laughter as she put her hand on his chest. "And we're fairly certain he didn't mean us!" Sniper turned and nodded to me and Chandraputna before heading around the corner. "Come on, Nyan, please," Alien begged moving her hand to his shoulder.
"Hey, Alien!" Sniper called. "I'm gonna be in your office working on that stupid report. What was the planet's name again?"
"P8X-179," the paratrooper called back sounding distracted as she began moving her hand subtly in small circles. Suddenly, I had an idea. When I finally returned, it was my turn to stake out a spot. Keeping up the pace I'd used when I was trying not to be late, I turned the corner and hurried down the hall.
"Hey, I'm putting this on your des..." I chose that moment to drop the entire armful of papers I was holding. "Shit!" I said as I threw what appeared to be the typed mission report in my right hand into the air before dropping to my knees. "Damn it all to frinkin' hell!" Crawling around on the floor and picking up papers, I kept an eye on Alien and the Blinkin' Bedrosian. As soon as his eyes drifted shut, I nodded at Davis who took off like a shot. He maneuvered across the hall and into the lab without making a single sound.
"Please, Nyan," Alien whined behind me. I laughed as the Blinkin' Bedrosian audibly moaned very softly; her hands were only in his hair. Frinkin' slut, I thought right before the world came down around us.
There was a loud crash and the normally loud lab suddenly went deathly silent. I couldn't see anything from where I was, but Alien quickly looked over the Blinkin' Bedrosian's shoulder. Both of them stared soundlessly into the lab for a moment before Soldier Mode won out.
"Khara. Code Yellow! Code Yellow!" Suddenly, Sniper and me went into Soldier Mode, too, and we both scrambled for the door. I made it in first and stared in amazement at the sight before me.
"Shit." Mini-Davis was standing on top of a counter pointing his sidearm at a very disheveled Dr. Daniel Jackson. "Davis, what the hell are you doing?" He pointedly ignored me.
"You have to realise that SG-1 is not the only unit on base! You cannot keep people out of a lab, because they're not working on whatever you want them to work on! I'm sure whatever Jack O'Neill has done to cause an interplanetary crisis is important! HOWEVER, I know what SG-10 is working on is important, too! And since they don't normally do stuff that ends up in the untimely near-demise of our planet, how about you let them have a turn at using the lab?"
"Davis," I said in my most patient tone. "Put the gun down."
"NO!"
"You can't frinkin' shoot Dr. Jackson! It'll just make him more pissed off when he comes back from the dead!"
"Who said he's coming back?" Davis asked maliciously.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jackson interjected. "I'll let Alien borrow the books she needs! How 'bout that? Is that fine?" We both watched Davis closely. He dropped the weapon to his side.
"Thank you! That wasn't that hard, now was it?" Mini-C.O. asked as he tried to get off the counter. Damned if I was gonna help him.
"So...um...what do you..." Jackson stuttered doing that blinking thing. Saviour of the planet, my white ass.
"Just our journals. The one's you're not using; we don't want to interfere in the whole saving of the planet thing," Alien said from behind the Blinkin' Bedrosian. Jackson looked around like he was lost while one of his assistants tried to pull a cardboard box off a shelf. An empty cardboard box, I guess, since he started pulling books off one of the shelves and putting them in it.
"I think we're only using the one from..." Jackson paused and did the weird eyebrow thing.
"P2X-184," the helpful assistant said. The rest were just staring at Davis as he tried to hop off the counter. I'd never seen so many damn goldfish that weren't in a tank.
"P2X-184," Jackson repeated. The assistant walked over and gave the box to Sniper before going straight back to work. "Just wondering, what are you doing?"
"Trying to fix Davis," I snapped as the wee man in question finally hit the floor. I pointed at the lab assistant. "Dude, give that guy a commendation or something." I reached down, grabbed the crazy son-of-a-bitch up off the floor, and headed out into the hall followed by Sniper.
"Bye, Nyan! Say 'hey' to your twin for us, okay?" Alien called over her shoulder as she hurried to keep up with me.
"The Blinkin' Bedrosian has a twin?" I asked angrily.
"Nyan and no, uh, just a guy who looks like him," Alien said distractedly. No doubt she was trying to remember what the pillar said. "He works in astrophysics, though." She followed for a few more steps. "Where we going?"
"You are going to your office. I am taking Davis to Dr. Mac the Quack."
"What? Why?" Davis shrieked.
"Because that wasn't you back there," Sniper piped up. "You're not crazy." Alien and me stopped and stared at him. "Okay, he's crazy. But he doesn't hurt people. At least, not on purpose. Unless they, you know, deserve it. Or he's in a bad mood..." Sniper just kinda trailed off. "Well, that still wasn't normal!"
"And that's why we're going to Dr. Mac the Quack!" I said as I started walking again.
You guys know the drill. Constructive criticism welcomed.