A/N: AU, because the only thing I ever remember them saying about SG-10 was they were the team that got sucked into the black hole. Obviously, this SG-10 is not that team. I'm thinking that they were probably the 'lost' team's replacements. Also, if SG-10 was investigating a black hole, I doubt they were a black ops unit. This SG-10 changed functions about the same time they were replacing the old team. Yes, Manda, Doogie Howser was that kid doctor on TV. Also, slight spoiler for Atlantis episode "The Defiant One." Slight as in, if you haven't seen it, you won't notice the spoiler.
Much thanks to my darling beta, RowenaR. Scope out her stuff, if you haven't seen it. It's much better than mine.
On a totally unrelated matter, aren't all fanfics AUs? I mean, if we had to write them, it obviously didn't happen on the show and as such isn't canon. I tried to raise this point with "Sgt..." it went over well so that's going on all my fics now.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Stargate. Gekko does. (That always makes me think of the little lizard with the British accent.) Some other people own it as well. They are all much richer. I think everybody's done a "team member becomes kid fic" so I stole that from the same person everybody else did. There were a few quotes that were inspired by Danvers and the yoghurt thing belongs to Anais. EF FRIENDLY!
"I wearlly loke oiase cwam," Davis said. At least, that's what it sounded like he said. It was kinda hard to tell since he had a whole scoop of ice cream in his mouth.
"We can tell," Alien said with a weary smile. The bisexual beeyotch (as I had taken to calling the evil!chef) had agreed to feed Davis ice cream only if Alien and Sniper would sit with him the entire time Davis was eating and go out with him that night. A part of me felt real sorry for them; the rest wanted my best friend back. It's not like they can't take care of themselves.
"Um...we're all gonna go right outside. We'll be right in front of the mess if you need us," I said as I watched the most horrifying thing I'd ever seen. To be so neat and polite most of the time, Davis was a damn pig when it came to chocolate ice cream.
"Ohkah." I understood that. As one the four of us got up and walked out the room; as soon as we were outside, I rounded on Alien.
"Are you sure you translated that damn thing right? Because Davis just looks more like a frinkin' child!" The bisexual evil!chef beeyotch (that sounds even better) bristled and made as to move between me and Alien, but she stopped him in his tracks.
"Yes! We translated that pillar correctly; maybe you didn't translate the translation properly! Ever think of that?" Her eyes flashed very subtly, and I knew she was pissed. As I stepped closer to her and prepared to destroy our fairly fragile friendship, there was a loud crash from inside the mess. I ran to my friend's side and began to take vitals before I even realised what I was looking at: a fully-grown Davis.
SG10SG10SG10SG10
I sat my tray of slop beside Alien's tray (full of nice, normal, real food) and broke into the vegetarian's conversation with Sniper.
"How was your date last night?" As one they moaned and beat their respective heads into the table. "That bad, huh?"
"Worse," Sniper muttered. I shifted closer as I prepared to rip into the bible thumper, but he suddenly changed the subject. "So you can't have any milk?"
"Sure, we can. It just has to be soy," Alien said as she raised her mug to Siler before taking a sip. "Hey, Sy."
"Hi, Siler," Sniper said. "What about cheese?"
"That has to be soy, too. Sniper doesn't understand the concept of 'lactose intolerant,'" she said to Siler as way of explanation. Davis sat down and opened his mouth to talk, but a shake of my head stopped him. Alien and Sniper had this conversation about three weeks ago.
"So no yoghurt?" Sniper asked.
"Not unless it's soy!" Alien said sounding frustrated.
"That can't taste good." I wish I could convey the look on Sniper's face.
"Well, the peach is horrible enough to make you puke and the blueberry's about the same. Drew says good things about the lemon flavour, but that's another thing we're allergic to. So we just stick with good, old raspberry yogurt." Screw Sniper. I wish I could describe Siler's face.
A/N: I really don't like this chapter, but it's a deus ex machina to make the writers proud. Something unexpected come out of nowhere and there's no resolution. Yay! I'll soon be capable of t.v. writing. Concrit welcomed.