In Life

A child...a child.

The words were so foreign to him that Erik could barely comprehend their meaning. Christine was having a child, and he hadn't a clue what he was to do about it. In all the years of his single minded obsession with her, Erik had never once allowed the fantasy to progress to its natural conclusion. Oh, of course he had played out his dream to possess her, body and soul, countless times. She would come to him and he would sate his lust with her willing flesh. That fantasy had been seen to its conclusion many, many times. Beyond that…well…there had not been much beyond that, save his delusional idea of keeping her with him in his cold, damp lair…releasing her only so that she might sing his operas as he watched her from his box. His grasp on sanity simply had not been strong enough to work out the details of what that life would mean to Christine.

It was her first desperate kiss that had awoken him from his selfish madness. Her return to him weeks later had been too much, too soon, for him to think clearly. He had known, of course, in the deep recesses of his mind, the biology of the act. He simply had not been able to reconcile that to the passion he and Christine had shared. Surely such a union between an angel and a demon could never result in the creation of a life. Fate simply could not permit it. Erik should have realized sooner that Fate had been nothing but cruel to him from the moment of his own birth.

You should have never touched her.

That Christine had been as consumed by desire as he was no consolation to him. There was no forgiveness to be had for allowing a child of his blood to be conceived; another poor creature like himself. If that was wasn't unforgivable enough, Erik had nearly left Christine to face the consequences of their union alone. He had no doubt she fancied herself prepared for whatever may come, but Erik knew she could never fully comprehend the cruel fate that he might have brought upon her…upon the...child. Even her compassionate nature and loving heart could not shield the child should it be born…as he had been.

But there is a chance, is there not? A chance that Christine's child will be as pure and as beautiful as she is.

And what then? Would his own child look upon him with fear, or shame, or pity?

Or unconditional love…such as you have never before known.

Did he even deserve such a thing?

Of course you do not, Erik. You have ruined her…you will ruin her child.

Our child.

My child.

Mine.

Good lord, Christine was carrying his child! He had fathered a child. Erik gasped for breath, suddenly unable to take enough air into his lungs. His hands were trembling and his body shuddering. A life with Christine was no longer a fantasy, no longer a dream or a game. It was real. As real as their child.

Remaining in Paris was impossible now. But where? Where could he have any hope of keeping Christine safe, giving her a life in the light, and still keep himself anonymous? Frustrated beyond belief, Erik knew only that he must form a plan. And quickly. For Christine's sake.

xXx

Christine all but floated back to the boarding house, a happiness unlike any she had known growing steadily in her heart. For the first time in months, she felt complete again. Of course, she was not naïve enough to believe that all of her problems with Erik had been solved. There had been far too much pain in his past…in both their pasts…and their future held no guarantees. Christine knew that her life with Erik would never be easy, but had she wanted easy, she'd have stayed with Raoul. He would have provided her with every comfort, but her connection with Erik would have remained…always pulling at her. She had very nearly chosen a life of safety rather than fight to pull the man she loved from his darkness.

She was not the same child who had run towards shelter. Indeed, she would soon have a child of her own to shelter and protect. Erik's child. Though she had not yet had it confirmed with a doctor, she knew it to be true...could feel it even now. It was the hope for their future.

Christine smiled softly as she climbed the stairs at the Marseille House. As soon as her foot graced the top step, Meg greeted her with a cautious smile. "Christine?"

Christine's own smile bloomed and a happy giggle escaped her. She grabbed her friend into a fierce hug. "Oh, Meg! I have never been so happy!"

Meg could not help but join in the good humor. "So I see." She pulled back slightly from Christine's embrace. "You must tell me everything."

"Meg...Christine will tell us only what she feels appropriate, and certainly nothing here in the hallway." The stern reprimand came from Madame Giry who had quietly appeared behind the girls.

The two colored slightly and Antoinette ushered them inside Christine's room. "Now then, Christine. I assume by your obvious happiness that your..." Antoinette chose her wording carefully. "conversation...with Erik went as you had hoped."

Christine blushed even more. "Better than I had hoped, actually. He loves me as I love him, and we will not be parted again. Though we both realize our being together will not be an easy task." Christine's eyes grew slightly troubled. "We will have to leave Paris."

Antoinette nodded and Meg gasped slightly, "Oh Christine! Where will you go?"

"I am not entirely certain. Erik said he would make arrangements, but I don't even know how soon he intends for us to leave, and I really must give my notice to Monsieur Pinot after all he has done for me."

Antoinette took Christine's hand and gave a reassuring squeeze. "Do not worry, Christine. Meg and I will help in any way that we can."

Christine smiled in gratitude. "Thank you, Madame, for all that you've done."

The older woman nodded, a tiny glint in her eyes. "I will leave you girls to your talk." She left the room with a quiet click of the door.

Meg grinned broadly at Christine. "Now, Christine, tell me honestly. You and Erik did not spend the entire night in conversation, did you?"

Christine's rosy cheeks turned an even deeper shade of crimson. "Meg! Such a wicked question."

Meg laughed gaily. "I am only teasing. I would never presume to ask for such intimate details." She grew a bit more serious. "But I am curious how Erik received you after the way in which you last parted."

Christine sighed. "He was not pleased to see me at first…still insisting on granting me a freedom which I did not ask him for...but, Meg, he is just as bound to me as I am to him. He could not send me away again. I know that loving him will never be a simple thing. He is far to complicated a man, and I fear sometimes that I am no easier, but I cannot help but feel...hopeful for the future."

Meg nodded, smiling softly, "As am I, Christine. I have certainly never seen you look happier in all the years I have known you. Not even during your engagement to Raoul."

Christine sighed again, "Poor Raoul. What am I to do about him, Meg? I am afraid that our dinner might have given him false hopes, even though I endeavored to make myself clear that we could be no more than friends. Indeed, our conversation barely strayed from childhood memories. Yet he seems determined that our continued friendship will deepen in time. If he should call on me again before Erik and I are safely away from here, I am not certain I can refuse him without arousing his suspicions."

Meg looked thoughtfully at Christine. "Then you will not refuse him." Christine raised her eyebrows, and Meg continued. "You mean him only friendship now, and friendship is all you will offer him. There need be nothing more to it than that."

Christine smiled. "You make it sound so simple."

"And sometimes I think you make things far more dramatic than they need be. Enjoy your happiness, Christine. There will be enough difficulties to overcome without adding Raoul to your worries. And I promise I will do all that I can to dull any romantic intentions from him."

Christine looked curiously at her friend, once again taking note of the familiarity with which she now seemed to refer to le Vicomte. "And how will you do that, Meg?"

Meg rolled her eyes in self depreciation. "Oh, Christine...trust me. I am quite adept at cooling a gentleman's romantic feelings with my very presence."

"Meg! Do not speak of yourself in such a way!"

Meg laughed again, shaking her head. "Christine, I only mean that I shall not leave you un-chaperoned if he should come to call on you here. I'm afraid, however, that you will be on your own at the theater."

Christine smiled slightly. "And I suppose I will not be at the theater much longer."

Meg frowned a little. "God, I will miss you, Christine."

"And I will miss you, but, God willing, we will be able to see each other again one day."

The two friends hugged fiercely before parting to carry on with the days events.

A/N: Well...dear Erik is still working through those issues of his, but at least he's got it in his mind to stay with Christine this time.