In Doubt

You are a blasted fool, Erik!

Tonight was not the first time he had cursed himself in such a way as he slipped in and out of shadows in the Paris streets. He had rebuked himself often these past months for being unable to let go of his obsession, but now there was a different reason to his self-reproach. Christine would surely have whatever would be left of his hide if he ended up being discovered now. Never before had it seemed to matter so, but never before had he so much to lose.

You had to make that damned promise to her. Now it will be your own blood if you are discovered. Or risk her turning from you forever.

Neither of those options was very attractive to Erik. The smart thing to do, of course, would be to keep himself hidden away until he and Christine departed Paris, but just as he had more to lose now, he also had more reason than ever to steal these moments with her. In all his years of silent stalking, he had never realized how wondrous it would be to step from the shadows into a pair of warm, waiting arms.

Of course, that would not be happening tonight if he failed to arrive safely at the boarding house. Was it his imagination, or were the streets exceptionally crowded this evening?

She's made you soft, Erik. You are losing you touch.

He scoffed at the wayward thought. He certainly was not losing his touch. He was only thinking far too much about consequences...something that had never bothered him before. In truth, it was only Christine that made him think of such things now. His fingers had been itching to hold a rope for weeks.

Erik eyed the Marseille House cautiously from the side street, waiting for just the right moment to make his way up the trellis. The climb was effortless, and Christine's window was easy enough to reach. He used one of his many tricks to open the latch from outside and swing the shutters open. The room was dark, as he'd known it would be. Christine would not return from the Theatre Mystere for another fifteen minutes at least, so he settled himself in to wait for his love.

Christine did not leave him waiting long. She arrived home precisely on schedule and feeling mildly disappointed that she had not yet seen Erik lurking in any corners. Disappointment turned to anticipation as she stopped in front of her room. He is here. It seemed so very strange that she should be able to know he was near with such certainty now, yet she did. Even as she opened the door, she whispered his name into the darkness.

"Erik?"

She heard the low chuckle from beside her, and the door was pushed shut while she was backed gently into it. Her little intake of breath was followed swiftly by the softness of Erik's lips against hers. The cloak of night surrounding them made the action sensually erotic, and Christine melted into her lover instinctively. She felt the tickle of his breath against her mouth as he whispered, "Mon ange."

Christine tried to draw him back, but he evaded, leaving her feeling bereft. She closed her eyes and tried to will her body back under control. Erik lit the lamp and turned back to Christine, who was still leaning against the door with a pleased little smile curving her lips. "You did not come to the theater tonight, Erik."

He raised a brow. "Did you miss me?"

She pushed away from the door with that tempting smile and stood before him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I miss you every moment we are apart, my love."

"It will not be long before we need never be parted again, Christine." A cloud passed over his eyes. "I only wish our union did not require me to take you away from Paris."

"I will be happy wherever you are, Erik."

He grunted, "I hardly think you would have been happy in the cellars of my Opera House."

Christine arched a delicate brow. "I hardly think you were ever truly happy there, angel."

Erik regarded her a moment. "I was in those brief moments that we shared, mon ange."

She smiled in pleasure and burrowed into his chest. "Now we will have countless moments to share."

Erik held Christine to him, still wondering if this was all a dream. Surely Fate could not suddenly be smiling on him in this way. "I wish we could have shared them at my Opera House, Christine. You were meant for that stage." And he had placed her there so perfectly until that damn boy had interfered.

Without even lifting her head from his chest, Christine murmured absently, "I have heard that the Opera is to be renovated."

Erik drew back to glance down at Christine in mild surprise. Of course he had known of the sale of his Opera, but he hadn't realized word of it was already being spread. "And who did you hear that from, my dear?"

Christine looked up at him, her eyes wide and her face slightly flushed, and Erik began to think that perhaps Fate was about to deal him another blow.

"Raoul."

At the mention of le Vicomte's name, Erik's entire body went rigid; his eyes darkening dangerously. He wrenched himself away to pace to the other side of the room, not trusting himself to be near Christine just then.

The damned fop! Always interfering! I should have killed him!

Erik's hands clenched into fists as he attempted to control his rage. "So you are seeing him again, Christine! After you have sworn yourself to me!"

Christine steeled herself against his temper. She had debated the wisdom of telling Erik this at all, but secrets between them had been the cause of so much misery already. She knew that if she was to be his wife, she must be prepared to deal with his unpredictable moods. "I am not seeing him, Erik. He…he called on me again of his own accord. We shared an innocent lunch, and Meg did not leave us alone for a moment."

Erik felt a certain fondness for Meg, as he would have simply for her importance to both Christine and Madame Giry, but his anger ebbed only slightly. "Meg should not have to run interference for your would-be suitor, Christine! He should not be anywhere near you now!" Erik stalked towards her, closing his hands around her upper arms and forcefully pulling her to him. "You are mine." His grip on her was unrelenting, but thankfully, not painful.

Christine closed her eyes briefly, searching for her patience.

Will Erik ever feel secure in my love? And can I really blame him if he does not, after what I did to him before?

She leveled her dark gaze on his, willing him to see the truth in her eyes. "Yes, Erik. I am yours. Always."

Erik's eyes barely softened. "Then why? Why do you still accept his fawning adoration?"

She trembled slightly under his hard stare, "I…I do not mean to, Erik. I've told Raoul that I cannot give him the love he hopes for from me, but you must understand, I do still care for him." At the tightening of his hold on her, Christine rushed to add, "In friendship only, Erik."

His eyes flashed again and he growled, "Your friend nearly took you away from me once, Christine. I will not allow him another opportunity."

"And neither will I, Erik! I love you, but I will not give Raoul cause to suspect my return to you. He would not understand. He would think me under your spell again and we would surely be parted. Please, my love, you must trust me. Trust my love for you."

Erik released his hold on her arms and turned his face away, wanting nothing more than to allow her words to appease his jealousy, but he feared the boy would always be a blade to his heart. Christine determinedly reached up and turned Erik's face back, bringing his mouth down to meet hers in a gentle kiss. Erik's hands fisted against his sides as passion began to swirl around them, just as it always did.

Erik tore his mouth from hers and determinedly set her away from him. "Christine…you will not always be able to bend me to your will with a kiss."

She smiled at him softly, stroking her fingers across his jaw. "We shall see, angel, we shall see."

A/N: A little more angst.