This Crazy Universe

John tracks his gaze from one side of the corridor to the other. He presses the control panel on the wall and the door slides open with a soft swish. He turns sharply, checking the room out: very small and no light, an empty supply closet. He closes the door and, moving with purpose, continues down the corridor alone. After a few minutes, he clicks his radio twice. "Ford, anything?"

Ford's voice comes over the ear-piece. "No sir."

"Stackhouse?" John says into the radio.

"I've got nothing, sir," Stackhouse replies.

John exhales heavily. "This isn't working."

"We're running out of time," Ford reminds him.

"I know," John says, not without a bit of irritation.

"Colonel," Teyla's voice comes over the radio in earnest and a bit breathless. "I've found something you need see immediately."

John hustles toward Teyla's location on the southwest side of the city. "On my way."

"…and that's when I decided to save the city for real," Rodney says. He speaks at his usual pace, not wanting to pretend to be someone he isn't, which he believes his audience of two appreciates.

He pulls a chair up to the infirmary bed so he can look directly into his companion's eyes as she sits upright on the bed with her best buddy, Tanis, who surprisingly never leaves the child's side. "Once I defeated the Genii, and sent them packing back to their planet, I figured what better time to bring up the shield. Of course, I had to wait until Teyla and Carson made it back to the safe area…Major Sheppard – the promotion is recent – seemed a little panicky, but agreed to wait for them a while longer."

"Ahhhh-yayaha!" she howls then slaps her hands on her bare knees.

"Oh, all right…your father wasn't that panicky."

A'shon's eyes widen – if that is possible – and she presses her lips together, blowing a raspberry at him.

"Now listen, we already discussed the correct child-adult etiquette. There's to be no spitting from either of us."

"Nanananana." Again she punctuates the baby-babble with a solid double-knee slap.

Tanis mews and rubs his cheek against A'shon's shoulder making her giggle.

Is it really babble? She certainly seems quite capable of understanding him. Carson and Elizabeth told him about Ashri's telepathic abilities. It isn't such a reach to assume A'shon inherited the same.

Rodney shakes his head. Now that's a thought worth considering. An infant capable of reading the minds of adults and comprehend what she learns? Impossible. Rodney looks into her huge hazel eyes again and she lowers her chin to hold his gaze.

Maybe…

A'shon has been on Atlantis a week now and seems to be fitting in nicely. Rodney hasn't seen half the people on the expedition as much as he has this past week. Men and women have come to "ooh" and "aah" over the newest member of the Atlantis expedition. It seems A'shon's arrival is also the cause of great celebration for the Athosians. News of the baby made it to the mainland, and though few Athosians come to the city these days, they do send thoughtful wishes and congratulations to Col. Sheppard. Rodney senses an overwhelming…peace amongst the Atlanteans these days. Well, there are a few exceptions.

Sheppard. Rodney grimaces; he rarely feels sorry for people…well that's not entirely true, he routinely feels sorry for less intelligent people. In this case, however, he does feel bad for Sheppard. The loss of Ashri has hit the man hard. Even gaining a daughter couldn't soften that blow. Especially since said child can actually feel his grief. If he wants his daughter to be happy, he has to push aside his mourning. Very unhealthy.

So, it's not such a bad thing to be helping out with the tyke once in a while. At least that's what Kate – Dr. Heightmeyer – told him the other day. And listening to Kate can only end in something good. With Sheppard off on one of his city walk-abouts with the rest of the team, Rodney has once again been drafted into sitting service. But as much as he grumbles, it's a nice change talking with someone who can't contradict him or question the voracity of his theories. He catches A'shon watching him again. Or can she?

"It's truly ironic," he starts. He is about to go on with his theory of the crazy universe: how he has something Sheppard should have – ability to bond with the baby without having to concentrate to the point of embolism – and Sheppard has exactly what Rodney should have – ability to use the Ancient technology without having to concentrate to the point of embolism. "If the universe wasn't so bent on creating conflict where none needs to be, everyone would be happily going about their business. "But no-"

An unpleasant odor rises in the air and Rodney pinches his nose. "Oh, now what'd you go and do?" A'shon giggles as she bounces on the bed, slapping at the metal railings blocking her escape. Even little Tanis – blue eyes wide open and always watchful – has taken the opportunity to move to the other end of the bed and wrap his gray tail with white stripes over his nose. Sheppard first said the cat resembles a white tiger, but Rodney must disagree. He's definitely part Siamese, though with a round-shaped head and stripes like a tabby. He's always liked cats. They're not as needy as dogs, have a sense of propriety and they carefully choose the people they wish to be around.

He can't ignore the stench any longer. With a heavy sigh, Rodney gets up and lays the baby on her back. He peels apart the cloth diaper Ashri fashioned by hand and included in the bundle Sheppard brought back from Luminance. It is the last of five such diapers in existence and the other four are still stewing in the wash, somewhere only Sheppard knows. Great! Rodney holds his breath as he pulls the foul wrap away from the kid. "This is not what I signed on to this expedition for."

Elizabeth pops out of her chair, nearly knocking it over in her haste. She rushes from her office to the main control board. She almost calls to Peter and then remembers…Peter's gone. Dr. Felnik is taking Grodin's place in the control room; a nice man, a great scientific mind, but not as personable or funny as Peter. He has a heavy Indian accent behind his English and sometimes she needs him to repeat things in order to understand him. She misses the young Brit every day. "Dr. Felnik?"

"Good afternoon, Dr. Weir. Is there something I can do for you?"

"I need the city schematic pulled up."

"Done," Felnik says as he presses a button on the large console.

"Now overlay the bio-signs sensors." Felnik presses another button and several white dots appear on the large screen. Elizabeth stares at it, looking over the city plans. She points to a glowing dot on the west side of the city. "Who's that?"

Dr. Felnik clicks his radio. "Control room to scout team. Who is in sector W12 level 5?"

"This is Teyla. I am in that sector," she says over the radio.

Elizabeth nods and clicks on her own headset. "Teyla, this is Dr. Weir. I need you to check something for me."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Weir, this is not a good time. Col. Sheppard will be here any moment. I have found something-"

Elizabeth takes a deep breath and raises her brows. It's about time. They've been searching the city for nearly five hours. "I understand. It can wait. Before you leave the area, let me know."

"I will."

"Thank you, Teyla." Elizabeth clicks off her radio.

Among her colleagues "in the know", at least Teyla has remained cordial to Elizabeth. Well, Rodney too, but he runs hot and cold depending on how much food is available. Perhaps the Athosian woman understands Elizabeth's actions regarding Ashri and John. Maybe she can even explain them to Elizabeth. Or perhaps Teyla merely feels sorry for her current predicament. Either way, Elizabeth appreciates the effort Teyla makes to keep their camaraderie alive.

Rodney searches through the bag for something to clean A'shon up with while the baby lays on the bed, legs and arms in the air, fingers grasping at her toes. Finally, he turns the bag upside down and dumps all the contents on the end of the bed. "Nothing useful! What am I supposed to do with you now?" A'shon gurgles and coos as if trying to tell him something. Rodney figures since she's Sheppard's kid, she's probably making fun of him in her own pre-verbal way. He sighs heavily. "You're enjoying this whole naked thing. Why don't you stay that way?"

"Because her father might find reason to harm you," Carson says as he comes into the infirmary.

"There you are. What took so long?"

Carson sets a heavy roll of thick woven material on the counter. "I'm not the best jumper pilot, Rodney. Getting to and from the mainland is very nerve racking for me."

Rodney fingers the material. "Is this all you got? It's too rough for her skin. She'll get chapped…everything."

"Calm down." Carson unrolls the wrap, revealing yards of diverse materials, from a heavy cotton-like quilt to a silk-scarf quality and a couple of sealed bronze jars. "The Athosian ladies came in quite handy. I think they're busy making plans for a shower."

Rodney grimaces. "A baby shower?"

"Aye." A'shon pulls her big toe into her mouth and sucks on it. "Isn't she the sweetest creature in the galaxy?" Carson grins, rubbing the back of a finger over her cheek.

"She's stinky-"

Carson reaches into a cabinet and pulls out some antiseptic aloe wipes. "This is my personal stash, Rodney, don't abuse them."

Rodney tries to see inside the cabinet before Carson shuts it. "What else are you hording in there?"

"Nothing you need to worry yourself about. Now clean up the lass so we can get her suited up nice and proper for when her daddy returns."

John steps out of the transporter that's taken him to Teyla's location. He races down the corridor and finds her standing guard beside a closed door. "In there," she says with a side-ways head bob.

"You're sure?"

Teyla gives a solid nod. "Yes."

John takes a deep breath, holds it, returns her nod and places a hand over the control panel. The door swishes open and John nearly falls over in shock.

"Yes, dear daddy's off on one of his many adventures," Rodney groans to the kid as he pulls out one of the wipes and plies it to the baby's bottom with as little effort as possible.

"You'll never get her clean that way," Carson says.

"If you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a baby person."

"Everyone's noticed. You're not exactly a people person." Carson grabs a fresh wipe and effortlessly cleans up the baby. "Now, there you go li'l lady."

Rodney shakes one of the jars. "What's this?"

Carson's smile widens. "Amazing, actually. Athosian form of baby powder. Similar to corn starch. Very absorbent and non-irritating."

"As long as she's not allergic to it."

"Such the pessimist, Rodney.

A'shon sputters raspberries at them even with her toes still in her mouth. Rodney looks down his nose at her, mentally tisking her for the spitting. A'shon grins at him around her big toe.

"Here we go," Carson grabs the bottle from him, undoes the cap and sprinkles some on the baby. "Don't you smell lovely, now." A'shon giggles. Carson cocks his head. "You know, I think she understands me sometimes."

"That's just ridiculous."

Carson considers Rodney for a moment. "You too, huh?"

Rodney rolls his eyes and nods side-to-side. "Maybe a little."

"Well, she has chosen you as her-"

Rodney raises a hand in defense. "Don't you dare call me that word."

"Na…friend. You should feel privileged."

Rodney snorts. "Ah, yessss. I feel so privileged to bathe, change and burp Sheppard's pride and joy."

Carson scratches the kitten behind the ears. "You get to spend time with this wee one as well. Which I know you like." Tanis licks Carson's hand. "Have you looked into his eyes, Rodney? I'm starting to wonder about this one's mental abilities too."

"Everyone knows cats are psychic," Rodney says without sarcasm. The look on Carson's face suggests he's wondering about Rodney's mental status. "It's a common fact. One which even you can't argue..." He motions to Tanis. "Considering what you were just saying."

Carson nods. "Right you are."

"Ppfffppllll." A'shon releases one foot and pulls the other one up to her face. Her eyes focus on the tips of her toes and she taps at them with her palm. All the while her smile grows, exposing two adorable dimples in her cheeks.

"She's quite the charmer, isn't she?" Carson grins at her.

"Ahhahahahah!" she bellows, smiling and flapping her hands and feet in the air. Her big hazel eyes seem to turn all green as she gazes up at Rodney.

Rodney swallows a chuckle, crosses his arms over his chest and looks down his nose at her again. "I suppose."

Carson sets the bronze jars aside and flips through the Athosian material, pulling out one tan section. "I think this one will be best for diapers."

Rodney feels the stuff between his thumb and forefinger. "It's thick enough. Soft. It'll do."

"We don't have time to sew the ends, so it may fray. But for now, we'll cut it into square patches and fasten with safety pins."

"Very retro." Rodney pokes A'shon in the belly and she spits out an abbreviated giggle-hiss. "No super-absorbent plastic covered diapers with alien invented Velcro tabs for you little one."

Carson's brows crease. "Do you really think we stole Velcro from an alien civilization?"

Rodney motions to everything around them, indicating the entire city. "Well, yeah."

Though no windows are open, a gentle breeze ruffles Teyla's hair as she takes a step inside and comes up behind Col. Sheppard. Lights rise as the sensors recognize their presence, filling the room with a bright yellow-white glow. A pleasant scent wafts passed her though the space has been closed off for centuries. It also doesn't feel as musty or cold as the other rooms she's checked.

Col. Sheppard stares at the floor to ceiling windows over-looking the ocean and the blazing dusk on the horizon. "Colonel?"

He sighs heavily and nods. "Yeah."

"Is it acceptable?"

"It's huge," he says, clearly as astonished as she was at first sight.

The quarters have two sleeping areas and a front room, all with high ceilings, tall windows and a balcony. Teyla has never seen such a luxurious place. She imagines Col. Sheppard feels the same awe she does. "Do you," she comes up beside him. "Smell something?"

A soft, dreamy smile slowly raises the corners of his mouth and the lines around his eyes deepen. "Cinnamon and honey."