One True Path
Elizabeth stares out her office window at the dormant Stargate. For the sake of all her team members, she's suspended gate travel for a short time. After all they've been through, everyone needs a break from the daily adventures into dangerous territory.
Some of the scientists welcome a chance to visit the mainland in order to collect samples and runs tests. Others are exploring the city or merely staying in their quarters and relaxing for a couple of days before returning to their various posts. No one is taking advantage of the time-off to any extreme; that's the thing with scientists, they actually find relaxing stressful.
Elizabeth remains on duty. The moment she tries to relax, all of her mistakes wash through her mind, leaving her breathless and depressed. She has to focus on the good things happening around her every day.
The past couple of weeks have been very quiet, with the exception of the buzz about baby A'shon. She seems to be fitting in very well, Wraith palm and all. In fact, Elizabeth hasn't heard a single mention about the baby's extra-normal hand, not even a hint that she can use it for anything. Of course, she's still young.
Carson wants to run more tests, though approaching John about that has been less than successful. Instead, Carson's settling for studying A'shon's DNA, which would take years on Earth, but with the Atlantian computers, maybe a couple of months at most. Carson wonders if baby might hold a key to defeating the Wraith. After all, her mother was fed upon as a fetus and yet she survived…
Ashri. Elizabeth wonders about her quite a bit lately, too. She never got a chance to know the woman, but somehow feels very connected to her; maybe because of John; or maybe because she knows what it means to give up the man she loves for a higher purpose. Had they been given a chance to know each other, Elizabeth is confident she and Ashri would have been close friends.
She tries to wrap her mind around one thought: someone she actually met, even if briefly, ascended just like the Ancients. It leaves Elizabeth with a glimmer of hope that one day humans might thwart death and become something new and extraordinary. Well, maybe not all of us.
Rolling her head in a slow three-sixty around her shoulders and stretching her stiff neck, Elizabeth sighs and turns from the view of the gate. She checks her watch as she walks out of the office. She sidles up to Dr. Felnik and says, "It's time." The scientist nods and presses the city-wide intercom button so she can speak to everyone. "Attention. This is Dr. Weir. Condition yellow. I repeat we are at condition yellow." She gives Felnik a curt nod and he cuts off transmission.
The announcement sends an electric shock through all of the city inhabitants; each one having a task to fulfill immediately. "How much time do you think we have?" Felnik asks.
"An hour, maybe."
Felnik nods and checks his screen. "Jumper three inbound and ready for docking."
"Good." She returns to her office and drops heavily into her chair. "I hope we're doing the right thing."
"You're doing it wrong," Carson complains as Elizabeth enters the infirmary forty minutes after the announcement. She sees Rodney's back as he hovers over a medical bed.
"He's too big and…mushy. It's harder than it looks. Why don't you do it?"
Carson gives the other man a slight shoulder-shove. "Very well. Get back."
As soon as Rodney moves, Elizabeth sees what has caused the friction and swallows a chuckle. "Thought you were done with diaper duty, Rodney."
He huffs in his usual perturbed manner. "I am. But no one around here seems to believe me."
"Ayahayahaya!" A'shon bellows from her sitting post on the other bed against the wall. For added emphasis, she slaps her palms on the metal railing holding her hostage. Only inches away from the baby, the beautiful kitten, Tanis, lays curled in a ball, big blue eyes open, watching. Always on alert, this one, it seems to Elizabeth. The kitten catches her watching and turns to lock his gaze onto hers. Elizabeth feels the hair on the back of her neck tingle. There's something decidedly different about this cat, though it could just be the fact that she's a dog person and Tanis knows it. "Dddiioodduddd," A'shon says with a bit of attitude it seems.
Rodney turns to his right and goes over to the child. "Is that so? You wanna go little one?" He holds up his fists and mock jabs at the baby, gently poking her in the belly with his pinky finger, making her giggle.
"There, all done," Carson says, backing away from the first bed and clapping his hands. "What do you think?"
Elizabeth nods. "Very stylish." Carson smiles with extreme dimples. Sometime in the past week or so, he managed to stop being so angry with her. Grateful for his change of heart as she is, Elizabeth can tell he hasn't forgiven her. He does understand, however, and that is a step in a direction towards reconciliation.
"Attention," Felnik's voice comes over the city-wide intercom. "Condition red. We are at condition red."
All three check their watches. Rodney's eyes bounce between the others. "So soon?"
"We're not ready!" Carson adds.
Elizabeth taps her headset. "Dr. Felnik, this is Weir. What's the situation?"
"I'm sorry Dr. Weir. I didn't catch them in time."
"I see." She clicks off the radio and looks at Carson and Rodney. "We won't be going anywhere for now." She points to the other gurney. "Better hide that." Carson jumps into action and does exactly as she says.
"Bykkksss," A'shon sputters.
Elizabeth steps closer to the baby girl. She keeps her distance out of respect for John's decision, but still feels drawn to the motherless child. "Do you get the impression she knows exactly what's going on?"
"Join the club," Carson says.
Rodney gives a little wave. "I'm president."
Elizabeth considers the ten month old baby. Teyla admitted not feeling comfortable around the child; though she has yet to discuss her feelings with John. Perhaps the Athosian woman still feels burdened by the after-affects of connecting to the Wraith during the attack on Atlantis. Elizabeth smiles at the baby. Just give Teyla time. She'll fall in love with you as everyone else has.
John made it quite clear that Elizabeth can't hold A'shon, so she doesn't even try to pick the baby up. She does, however, squat next to the make-shift crib and look the little one in the eyes. She definitely has John's pretty eyes; and his dimples. This little one's going to be a big heartbreaker…like her father. She pushes that last thought aside. Elizabeth's smile widens in response to A'shon's then the baby happily bangs her hands against the railing again, bobbing up and down and rasping with giggles.
"She likes you," Rodney says over Elizabeth's shoulder. Grinning broadly, Elizabeth glances up at him. Then the infirmary doors part and John rushes inside, Teyla follows close behind.
"You see," Teyla says. "Nothing is wrong."
Elizabeth catches a dangerous look from John and instantly backs away from the baby. He comes over and picks up the little girl. For a brief moment, A'shon seems eager and happy to be with her father, but she starts squirming to get away within seconds. "Teyla?" Elizabeth raises her brows.
Teyla smiles tightly. "The Colonel requested we return immediately. He had a… feeling that A'shon needed him."
Elizabeth's eyes widen as she glances at Rodney and Carson. "Really?"
Rodney shoves his hands in his pockets. "Any particular feeling, Colonel?"
John studies his daughter. "Urgent."
"A panicky urgent or an 'I have to pee urgent'?" Rodney asks.
John flashes an irritated look then creased his brows. "More excited, I guess. Like she wanted to show me something."
"Oh?" Carson eyes dance around the room, landing on Teyla. She shrugs and mouths a sorry for everyone but John to see.
John looks at each of them. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Carson and Rodney say in unison.
"Out for a stroll," Elizabeth adds.
"Cleaning equipment," Carson says.
"Changing diapers," Rodney says with a burdened sigh.
"And everything's been okay?"
"She's an angel," Elizabeth says too quickly, forgetting for a moment that she isn't welcome around the baby.
John glares at her and within seconds A'shon begins whimpering and crying. Elizabeth knows as everyone else does that the baby can feel John's emotions, but being such a tiny creature, she has no way of processing those overwrought feelings. She also knows she's the reason for any discontent on the Colonel's part at this particular moment, so it's best to cut and run. Elizabeth nods to Carson and Rodney and heads for the door. Teyla touches Elizabeth's arm as she passes by, offering an understanding, friendly smile.
Elizabeth steps into the corridor and the infirmary doors close behind her. She stops in mid-step and sighs. John's anger not only makes her feel unwelcome but angry too. And frustrated. And she hates being frustrated…it makes her want to cry. Maybe a good sob fest is exactly what I need. The infirmary doors swoosh apart behind her and Elizabeth straightens her spine.
"Dr. Weir?" John says coolly.
She blinks back the tears and turns to face him. "What can I do for you, Colonel Sheppard?" Nothing like pure professionalism to strain any relationship.
"I was wondering when I'd be put back on mission status."
This is a shock. "It's only been a couple of weeks. You don't want to spend more time bonding with A'shon?"
John looks down at her with those harsh eyes she's become accustomed to seeing and he steps into her personal space. "Don't go there." He clenches his jaw and the muscles visibly twitch.
Elizabeth holds her ground and his gaze. She waits for him to explode, rant, yell… anything besides keeping it inside. He sucks air through his clenched teeth and glares at her. She can almost hear what he's saying inside his head; how he blames her for all the lost time, blames her for Ashri getting sick and being alone, as well as dying. For, even though, she's moved on to a higher plane of existence, to John, she has died. And the fact that he wasn't there to help her ahead of time burns him to the core. Because Elizabeth made the call. She refuses to deny him his bitterness or anger. She made the decision…her, no one else. She desperately wants to appease him, but her mind holds firm. "If I could go back in time-"
"Again?" he spits.
"I would make the same decision."
His brows rise at her audacity. "Oh, you would?"
"I will spend my life regretting the pain I caused you, John, but I will never regret the fact that keeping the information from you saved Atlantis. Saved us. We are still alive because of you. Because you were here to help us." John stares at her, his eyes widening, but he stays silent; stewing in his rage.
"Without you here during that critical time, Atlantis would be gone. Or in the hands of the Wraith and they'd possibly be on their way to Earth. Could you have survived with Ashri and A'shon knowing that you let everyone here die and left Earth open to attack by the Wraith?" He slides his eyes toward the ground. She's hit a nerve. Above all, John Sheppard remains an honorable military man. He would never leave a mission unfinished. Never abandon his post.
"That may not be the explanation or apology you want," Elizabeth continues. She feels a lump in her throat and swallows the rising tears, but can't stop her voice cracking as she spoke. "And I'm never going to ask you for your forgiveness, because I know what I cost you. But I do expect you to understand that -- though you are an integral part of this expedition -- your personal life is not my highest priority."
John catches her gaze again. His eyes seem to have lost some of the heat. "You're back on mission status whenever you choose." She turns away and heads down the corridor with her head held high.
"I knew you were here." John grins, turning as she comes up the sandy slope in her white wrap dress. Her silky, straight black hair hangs loose to her thighs and sways with every move she makes. Sun peeks through the palm trees, shimmering on her ivory skin. John's breath catches when she smiles at him. He knows it's a dream -- just this side of heaven -- but doesn't care. He doesn't want to wake and leave this place…leave her…ever again.
"I'm always with you, my love." She reaches for him and he clasps her hands in each of his. "As you are with me."
"How is this possible?"
She caresses his cheek; her sensual touch leaving a tingle in his skin. "Love." Her fingertips brush his lips. "It is the one emotion that even ascension cannot defeat. It is forever. And it is everywhere…you only need to look."
John kisses her fingertips then pulls her in and devours her lips. All the pain of losing her vanishes the moment they kiss. He understands in that instant: they are forever. And in this single moment, he knows the universe conspired to bring him to the Pegasus Galaxy for a purpose… and it wasn't to wake up the Wraith.
He and Ashri had been destined. Nothing ever felt more right than being with her. When they finally part, he presses his forehead to hers and rubs the tips of their noses together. "Stay."
Following the kiss, she's breathless with lingering passion. "I cannot. Bureen is patient, not the others." She pulls away, leaving him with a dull ache; longing for her touch. Ashri takes his hand and the thrill of her touch makes his heart beat faster. "Let us walk a while."
They stroll over the golden sand along the water's edge. Sunlight blazes in the baby-blue sky; the day could not have been more beautiful. He supposes that is an effect of having an ascended being in charge of the landscape. "Ascension is not death as you believe," she says quietly.
"Same in the end. You're gone."
"Yet, I am not. I am here. As are you."
"But for how long? You mentioned others."
She nods. "They do not permit corporeal interference. It is the highest law. Bureen has intervened at present, however he is firm. We may not meet like this again."
John stops in his tracks and turns to her. "Why not?"
"I must relinquish ties to my past self, John. It is for the sake righting a wrong that we are permitted this opportunity. To help you remember your path…to reconnect with those around you."
"And then?"
"As I have moved on, so must you."
How could she be so calm? "I can't simply-"
Ashri closes her eyes and shakes her head sadly. "I apologize for causing you such turmoil." She catches his gaze. "My wish to protect you and our daughter created unforeseen consequences."
"Look, I get the whole rules thing. I do. I've never been fond of 'em myself, but I get it. Still, there has to be a way for us -"
She presses a finger over his lips. "We are forever, John. Hold onto that. But do not bind yourself to the past." The back of her hand skims to his cheek. "The future is not set…yet it does grow before your eyes. Every day. You must open yourself to it. Love her, John. Feel her. Do not fear her-"
John's brows crease. "I'm not afraid of A'shon."
"Of losing her?" She brushes her fingers through his hair. "It is not merely your pain she feels." Her hand drops to cover his heart. "It is what you deny her that hurts most."
As before, when Ashri touches him, his heart beats faster, his head swims, and he wants nothing more than to hold her safe for all time. It's what he hasn't been feeling when he holds A'shon. How could a father not feel that way about his daughter? In losing Ashri, he lost himself. He shut down. And he hadn't even noticed. "How…I have to fix this?"
"Realization is the awakening."
"But if I-"
"Sorrow is a part of life, my love. Experience it, but do not dwell in it. Without sorrow, there can be no opposite…no happiness. Find your happiness in her eyes. In her smile. She is yours and mine. She is us. And we are forever."
John closes his eyes, picturing his daughter smiling at him. Why hasn't he seen what he is doing? Keeping his own child out of his heart. How can he be so cruel?
"You lost your way, that is all." Ashri says, obviously reading his thoughts. "It is time you open your eyes to the true path, John." John looks at her quizzically. She points out over the water and he sees it floating: Atlantis. "It is where you belong. Where you are meant to be."
John drops his eyes and kicks at the sand. He doesn't want reality to enter into this. He wants the dream; the fantasy of a world without responsibilities, without worries, with Ashri. And what about A'shon? He cringes at his thoughtlessness. His own baby seeks comfort from someone else…McKay of all people, because he's too selfish.
"You know it to be true," she squeezes his hand. "And yet you fight the truth. Refuse to see it."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Ashri faces him, placing a hand on each shoulder. The air around them cools, the sky blurs. When she drops her hands to grip one of his, they are standing inside the Atlantis infirmary… looking at the past. "As easily as we once made a connection…so it happened again."
John sees himself at Ashri's bed side with Elizabeth standing behind him, her hand on his shoulder. She's tells him to take a break and after a veiled threat from her, he leaves.
Elizabeth tilted her head, considering Ashri. "There has to be more to it than that," she said out loud. There's a flicker of movement under her lids. Elizabeth moved closer. Ashri slowly opened her eyes and looked directly at Elizabeth. She took up John's spot, gently touching Ashri's shoulder. "It's all right. You're safe." Elizabeth smiled. "I wanted to thank you…for what you did. That was very brave."
Ashri brought her finger up to her lips. "Are you thirsty?" Ashri shook her head a tiny bit. She looked like she wanted to say something. Elizabeth leaned in closer and Ashri pressed her right hand against Elizabeth's temple. There's a soft golden glow, then Ashri's hand fell away and she was unconscious once again.
"Elizabeth never mentioned this. What did you talk about?"
"Nothing at that time. I was too weak."
John turns away from the past and faces the woman he loves so desperately he'd be willing to give up everything, his existence, if she asked – which she never would. Suddenly they are back on the beach with a gentle breeze rustling the treetops and dolphins chattering in the distant waters. "Why did you show me that?"
"If the path has no fork, the traveler may only move in one direction."
John shakes his head and blinks at her. "What?"
"Open yourself to the truth, John. You must forgive her."
"Elizabeth? Why?" John holds her gaze, trying to decipher the mystery she's become. And like the bolt of lightning that killed him over a year ago, he knows. He didn't wanted to see it, pushed it away with the rest of his pain, but as it surfaces, his breath catches from a gut punch. "No."
Ashri nods as tears slide down her cheeks. "I would have gladly died that day in your arms… free from Luminance…from loneliness. Content."
John cups her face in his hands, holding her still so he can look deep into her eyes. "But, you knew."
"Yes," she sighs. More tears drip from her eyes and John wipes them away with his thumbs. Roughly, he pulls her against him and wraps his arms around her in a tight embrace, pressing her head against his chest. "I also knew you could never be content on Luminance. Not with a galaxy to explore, people counting on you for their very survival. I did believe that one day we three would be together again. Unfortunately, I could not foresee the circumstances."
John sighs, turning from her and looking out over the water. So much for the universe being on his side. Sure you can meet your soul mate…but we're taking her back because you don't deserve her. You woke the Wraith. It doesn't ring with truth, but John can't get the thought out of his head. Why else would he find Ashri only to lose her so quickly?
Waves crash against the shore. John drops his head and runs his fingers through his hair. "I don't…I can't…" He understands even as his heart aches for lost time, lost opportunities. He looks over his shoulder at her. "Elizabeth?"
"You must forgive her. She needs you. Your friendship. Support. Your trust, John. And you need her as well." Ashri crushes herself against his chest again, throwing her arms around him. "Say you will. Please."
John feels an incredible weight lift from his heart. Deep down, he's known all along. Acknowledging it, accepting it leaves him free of the anger, but not the pain of loss. He hugs Ashri close…if forgiveness is the gift he can bestow, he will not withhold it.
And now, he doesn't want to. He simply wants to relish the time he can spend with Ashri in his embrace, experiencing her delicate touch. He finds her lips again and they linger within a long, slow kiss. Afterward, he brushes his fingers through her hair. "I will." John studies her, memorizing every part of her. "For you."
"No, John. For you." She smiles and she seems to glow with energy for a moment. "Deliver a message for me, then?" John nods and she tells him.
Around them the light begins to dim as the sun quickly sets lower in the sky, as if someone just hit a fast-forward button on a movie. Ashri glances at the diminishing golden orb then faces him again. "We have little time now," she says softly. She kisses him and gazes into his eyes with a look that makes his knees weak. "I wish to enjoy it."
John raises a brow. "What did you have in mind?" Ashri smiles seductively and kisses him again. His legs nearly buckle.
Jingling from the door wakes John from his nap. The dream had been a reality…and though he seemed to spend a lifetime in the arms of his lost love, he hadn't been ready to leave; not that he had a choice in the matter.
But for the first time in over a year, John wakes smiling. Warm sunlight greets him as the setting star makes its way passed his bedroom window. His whole nap has lasted mere minutes. Maybe fifteen, twenty at most…and yet the time with Ashri was sensual, beautiful, magical even…and much, much longer…a lifetime almost.
Rolling to the side, he sees two sets of giant eyes awake and quietly watching him. His heart beats faster at the sight of A'shon and she smiles, exposing dimples. Oh, yeah, that's my girl.
"Sptahchhh," she says with conviction. John doesn't know what it means, but she seems happy about it. And her happiness brings him immeasurable joy.
Thank you. He sends the message to Ashri, knowing she will understand. Without her coming to him, he might have continued on, locked in the pain and anger. It seems too easy, having her spill the beans and making things all right…but she's restored a balance. Given him hope where he had none. She isn't a cure all for his ills, but she comes damn close. We are forever. That will become his mantra.
Moving on from her will not be easy or without struggle, but it has to be done. He has someone else to dote upon. He grins at A'shon and she gurgles and giggles. "Hello, angel." He says, facing her eye-to-eye. "Mommy loves you." John traces a finger down her cheek. "But you know that already, huh." He lifts her chin a bit. "Daddy loves you too. Can you say dada?" A'shon sticks out her tongue and blows air. John smirks. "I guess I deserve that."
The chime jingles again, bringing him out of the baby induced trance. He rolls off the bed, going into the living room and opens the door. McKay stands before him, heaving like an out-of-shape long distance runner. "McKay?" John rubs the sleep from his eyes. "Why are you breathing so hard?"
"Stairs," he wheezes. "Transporter…offline…had to…run-" He holds up a hand. "Emer…gen..cy."
"What?"
"Teyla…needs…" He points at John. "You."
John reaches for his gun. "Where?"
"No gun…grab baby…follow." McKay waves his hand to beckon him.
John sets his gun aside and quickly retrieves A'shon from her crib, leaving Tanis behind for the first time, but hey…he's a cat. Together they follow McKay to the end of the corridor and around the corner. John hasn't investigated this part of the tower yet. "What's she doing up here?"
McKay shakes his head, huffing and puffing. "Can't…" he wheezes again. "Give …a minute." He points at the next door on the right then leans over with his hands on his knees. "In there."
John presses the controls and the door opens. Pitch black greets him. "Teyla?" Nothing. John steps into the room and hears something or someone shuffling around. McKay comes up behind him and as he does, all the lights in the room blink on.
"Surprise!" Everyone yells.
And by everyone…he sees EVERYONE!
John jumps, looking around in astonishment. Truly, all of the expedition team members and several Athosians have crammed into a single room. Some people he hasn't seen since -- well forever -- are even here. The place seems big enough to hold them all and more. The ceilings match that of his apartment as do the soft coral colored walls. Two floor-to-ceiling windows showcase the pink-blue pastel sky as the sun drifts under the horizon.
John tries to shield A'shon from the growing noise of clapping and congratulatory praise, but she seems perfectly content to be within the throng. After a moment, he realizes that A'shon didn't jump at the surprise as he did. She didn't even seem mildly shocked or disturbed by it. Interesting. People come up to him and pat his back, offering well wishes and asking him if he had any clue. John turns to McKay. The scientist -- no longer heaving -- wears a silly grin and points a finger at him. "Gotcha."
"What's going on?"
"Look around, Colonel," Carson comes over to him with a cup of punch and a sandwich on a plate.
"Is that turkey?"
"I was talking about the room."
John pulls his eyes away from the sandwich and does as the doctor said. "It looks like a lab."
"Nope," McKay says, rocking on his toes. "It's the nursery."
John's jaw drops. "Really?"
Dr. Felnik breaks away from the bigger pack and joins the small group. "It took us a while to get it cleaned up and functional again. It's supplied with everything you can think of. Including fabrication systems for cloth and the computer is full of designs for making clothes. Several of the systems had been dormant for even longer than the rest of the city."
Carson pipes up. "Probably because the Ancients sent their children back to Earth as soon as the Wraith showed up."
Teyla appears from within the crowd and offers John a friendly smile. "Well?"
"Hayathaht," Ashri says, blowing air between her lips.
He lifts his brows and quirks a grin. "So that whole thing with you and Carson about piercing -"
"A ruse, Colonel."
"Ah!" He holds up a finger.
Teyla nods and grins. "John. I must admit, Dr. Beckett had me a bit concerned for a moment. He covered very well."
John nods and gives props to Carson. "Yes, he did. Looks like you pulled it off. I had no clue."
Teyla clicks her eyes over toward McKay and Carson then lands them back on John as she speaks. "We were afraid you had figured it out from A'shon."
"Oh?" He catches on. "Because of the urgent feeling…what did she want to show me, anyway?"
Carson chuckles and he and McKay exchange knowing grins. "Our rather pudgy patient in the infirmary, I imagine." Carson says.
"Huh?"
Someone whistles, the noisy crowd quickly quiets and the sea of people part down the center. Ford and Dr. Zelenka wheel in a brand new crib full of presents; including a huge teddy bear wearing sunglasses, an Air Force cap and a diaper.
"Wow! This is so cool. Would you look at all this stuff!" John says to A'shon. She bounces against his hip and claps her hands. "Yeah, she knows it's for her. Great job on the crib, guys."
Zelenka and Ford pat each other on the back. "We had some help from the Ancient fabrications system," Zelenka says.
"But," Ford adds. "We modeled and put it together ourselves. Happy Father's Day, Colonel," Ford says with a goofy grin.
John can't hide his shock. "Is it really?"
Teyla shrugs. "Does it not feel it should be?"
"We know it's not close to the actual date, but we all figured…what the hell," Ford says with a shrug.
"Besides," Teyla adds. "It gave us an excuse to offer gifts. A true Athosian tradition."
"And to have a party," McKay says.
"Right," John nods. "Where's that turkey?"
"Come with me, Colonel," Carson says making a bee-line for the buffet table.
John follows Carson, stops and glances back. "Thank you, Teyla. For finding this room. Planning the party. It seems to be just what everyone needed. Especially me."
"The surprise part was my idea…I take full responsibility. However, I did not find the nursery or plan the party." She raises her brows and gives him a knowing look.
John nods. Of course. He lifts his head to look over the crowd. "Where is she?"
Teyla comes up to him so she can speak confidentially. "She did not feel her presence would be… within the spirit of the moment."
"She didn't feel welcome."
Teyla nods. "I believe so." John chews on his bottom lip and Teyla watches him. "Would you like me to call her?"
He shakes his head. "No…that's okay. Thanks again. Thank you everyone!" That elicits a round of cheers and congratulations of a job well-done and more happy chattering from A'shon.
Elizabeth stares at the laptop screen, trying to focus on the work in front of her, but her mind keeps wandering to the party. She wonders if everything went off as planned. Having John and Teyla return so quickly from their outing, threw a wrench into the activities; especially when John decided to take A'shon up to the apartment for an afternoon nap.
Luckily the nursery boasts its own transporter, discovered by Dr. Felnik, which put everyone back on track. If they pulled it off, it's only because the entire team put so much energy into the planning and execution of the party. She mentally congratulates all of them for their effort. I hope there's some cake left over later.
Elizabeth smiles, remembering the big teddy bear sewn together in patches by any number of volunteers then stuffed by Stackhouse. It has to be the cutest and ugliest teddy bear she's ever seen. But she'll never fault her team for being creative in extreme conditions.
A'shon likes the bear, that's all that matters. Clearly the little girl has more going on inside her head than any normal ten month old, but she is also a baby with baby wants and needs. Elizabeth wonders if Ashri manages to stay nearby and watch over her daughter.
Closing her eyes, she rubs her temples. She still hasn't slept and the fatigue is taking its toll, not only on her body, but on her emotions as well. After a moment, without looking up, she says: "Thought you'd be at your party."
"I noticed someone missing."
Elizabeth lifts her head. She felt the air change when he arrived. Everything seemed to go still. John stands in her doorway with A'shon attached to his side. He looks tired. Drained; like she feels. Please, I'm not up for another fight. The lack of sleep and the never-ending tension have nearly driven her to tears on numerous occasions. And crying in front of John would not be her first choice. She needs him to see her as strong, in charge. "I had some people to work security…just a skeleton crew. Didn't think you'd miss 'em."
"Yeah," he says slowly, stepping inside. "That's the thing. No matter what's been said or not said, when someone important isn't around…you miss 'em a lot."
"Yahahh hhaaaya katsss," A'shon says emphatically to no one in particular. Still the baby's ramblings bring a soft smile to John's face and Elizabeth can feel one growing on her. Something about babies, kittens and puppies…they can make all your troubles vanish with a look or a cute noise.
John catches Elizabeth's gaze. "The path is now open."
Elizabeth's head spins and she closes her eyes against the wave of dizziness. When she opens them, she's standing in the infirmary with Carson, McKay, Teyla and Ford. John hovers over the infirmary bed where Ashri lies.
From behind, a hand settles on Elizabeth's shoulder. She turns, seeing Ashri standing before her. "What's happening to you?"
"I'm dying."
"No. John-" Elizabeth turns to John, he doesn't hear her. He remains in the same place, holding Ashri's hand. She turns back to the other woman. "What can we do?"
"We must be strong now." The beautiful alien woman mesmerizes her with those intense brown eyes. "I am in need of your assistance, Elizabeth. You must help me. To save us. And John."
"What are you talking about?"
"You must not let John return to Luminance until I send for him."
"Why not? What do you mean, send for him?"
Ashri smiles and rests her hands on Elizabeth's shoulders. "Atlantis needs him. And John needs Atlantis. When the time is right, I will call for him. You will know."
"Am I dreaming?"
She smiles softly. "Soon John will take me through the Stargate and return me to Luminance…where I must remain. Do not permit him to return until I send for him. The danger is too great."
"Danger? We can handle the virus."
"Not the virus…the future, Elizabeth. Atlantis must survive to welcome home the true heir."
"You mean…?"
"John must not be told. He cannot know. It is a command. Your command. The path must be blocked, Elizabeth. Do not tell him…that is an order. Your order. The path is blocked."
Elizabeth jerks upright, opening her eyes and nearly falls off her chair. John stands over her, his free hand on her shoulder. "Are you all right?"
"Oh my God," she gasps. She can feel tears ready to flow, she wants to sob and rant and scream…but she holds it in. "She did it." Elizabeth looks up at him. "She really did it." He nods; his mouth in a tight line and eyes full of regret.
Elizabeth shoots out of her chair and wobbles a bit, still dizzy from the shock of it all. She swallows the anger, though a lump catches in her throat. "All this time…it hadn't felt like me…but at the same time, it felt-"
"Right," John adds.
Elizabeth nods. "How…?"
He gives a sideways nod. "I had a visitor. A very sorry visitor."
"Oh, I'm sure!" She sounds bitter, but doesn't care. Ashri did exactly what Elizabeth had been afraid of; pushed her way into someone's mind and manipulated them. Her!
John moves closer. "She really does feel bad."
"Well, she better!" But her self-righteousness feels as hollow as it sounds in her voice. The reason Ashri chose her is the same reason Elizabeth can't condemn the other woman: the welfare of a child and the love of a good man. As much as it makes her head swim and her ire rise, Elizabeth understands. She might even have made the same decision in spite of Ashri's plea and psychic pressure.
John closes the distance between them, getting in her space as he had earlier, but without the underlying hostility. Something has changed in him and Elizabeth doesn't think it has too much to do with who withheld what from whom. She doesn't feel the long burning rage he's been holding onto for over a year that only recently came to a boil with the knowledge of A'shon. Someone has quashed the fire. And she knows of only one soul with that much power; that kind of hold on him. "That must have been some visit."
John locks his eyes onto hers. "She's not the only one with regrets." He turns to his daughter. "A'shon…this is Elizabeth… you're Godmother-" he looks at Elizabeth again. "If you want." John shifts and offers the baby to her.
Elizabeth's breath catches and the lump in her throat makes it hard to swallow the tears that keep threatening to burst forth. The moment she holds the baby in her arms, she loses it. Control has always been her friend, but it abandons her now. Tears flow freely along with an unrestrained giggle filled with joy, regret, hope, anger and relief. "I'd be honored."
Elizabeth hugs A'shon and kisses her forehead then leans back and looks the child in the eyes. "Hi there."
A'shon presses her right hand against Elizabeth's chest and it starts to glow. Astonished, Elizabeth seeks John's gaze. "What's she trying to do?"
After the moment of shock, the corners of his mouth rise and his eyes glimmer with pride. "Heal you."
Elizabeth blinks, sending more tears down her face. She reaches for John with her free hand and he takes it in both of his. His brows knit together as he keeps hold of his emotions…as usual. But Elizabeth is a lost cause now. She can't reign in her feelings to save her life. She smiles through the tears. "Her father already has."
John's soft smile full of friendship and renewed trust makes her heart flutter. A glimmer of tears shimmer in his eyes, though he manages to keep a reign on them.
A'shon turns her head and rests it against Elizabeth's chest so that she can look at her father. She reached out with her right hand, the palm still glowing. Smiling with the kind of joy only a baby knows, she touches her father's chest and gurgles. "Dada."
The End…
of a beginning.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed my little tale. Please review...feedback always welcome.