Author's Note:
I have to say thank you to so many people in particular who have been just amazing with the reviews and sending emails and such. First I have to start off with Nick2951. Nick, thank you so much for all the reviews and the great feedback. Something in the last email you sent me caught my eye when you asked about Souke's character. I definitely did not want to make Hope seem all like Asuka and Souke seem more like Shinji. Whenever you look at kids so many people can shape their personalities. I began to think what Hope and Souke's upbringing must have been like so I incorporated both traits of Shinji, Asuka, even Misato into the character development. Anybody who would have some impact on these kids growing up I tried to put into their character. One email I got was to say that Souke seemed more like Shinji, another suggested he be more like Asuka…. my answer was to incorporate both of their personalities in Souke. The following chapter was a suggestion from Nick2951 about Souke's character development. In this upcoming chapter; you will see what happens when Souke's emotions go haywire. We also will see Hope start to lean more towards her father's personality. Next I have to thank SteamedDumpling, InuyashaFan, bigdave, GreekGeek81, Nicholas Bledsoe, dennisud and so many others. I'd like to thank everyone for reading and reviewing After Impact. I am so glad you love the story and I hope you equally enjoy its sequel.
Also I have to give a big shout out to my studio J&P Productions. Rich and Logan, you guys are awesome! Jonny, you rock! Josh, you're awesome! Nausicaa, way to girl, girl! DarkStarDreamer you are amazing! Pac Attack, peace and love! You guys make the machine run smooth. You guys are the best.
Here is the update that you've waited for. Incidentally, check out my newest amv, which some have said looks like a prequel to After Impact, its called Where Do We Go featuring Shinji & Asuka from Evangelion and the song Where Do We Go From Here by Filter, exclusively on my site The video can be found on the main home page and if you feel so inclined, leave a comment about it. Also don't forget to check out our other vids too including Bleach: Anxiety and Fruits Basket: We Hate It When the Zodiac is Successful.
Now on with the story.
Warning: Tear Jerker ahead. Get your Kleenex and popcorn ready.
And Action!
Chapter 12
Hope pulled her car up into the empty parking space and sighed as she closed her eyes and gripped the steering wheel. She took another deep breath, exhaling slowly as she opened the car door and got out.
She walked up to the sidewalk and proceeded on an incline up towards a grassy hill. As she walked on the green grass with the sunlight shining down upon her, she breathed in the inviting smells of roses and daffodils blooming nearby.
She turned around a corner and then walked up a grassy knoll on a larger incline and then she stopped as she stared at the object directly in front of her.
She felt a tear roll out of her eye as she stood, still dressed in her black uniform, her insignia now showing the gold clover leaf of major on her collar.
Slowly, she kneeled down in front of the object, the tear now rolling down her face as she reached over and touched it. Her fingers delicately traced the name on the front of it.
MAJOR ISAO KATSUMOTO
APRIL 14, 2021 – JUNE 27, 2051
Beloved son of Tentsu & Illai,
Brother of Rouji
The love of Hope.
Then she stared at the bottom inscription, one she had asked and paid for to be on his gravestone.
On the wings of an angel your soul takes flight.
The wind blew over her gently as she removed her black officers cap and sat it down beside her, her short auburn hair shining in the sun. Her tears kept falling and her bottom lip shook as she left her hand on his gravestone, resting her palm where it was etched into the marble gravestone ISAO. .
I miss you so much, she said to him within her mind. I can't believe in all of this time the pain of losing you has never gone away. You were the first man I ever loved. How cruel was it that, just before you were to be my husband, you would be taken from me. Isao, I can't move on. I have tried. I know I should. I just can't…. I love you too much to have you replaced. Isao, I wish you were here. My life is changing so quickly.
She took another deep breath as she wiped her tears away and took her hand away from the grave. She folded her hands in her lap and bowed her head, trying to hide her apparent grief and feeling ashamed for crying in public.
Isao, I wish I knew what to do. I don't know any more. I got promoted two weeks ago. I'm a Major now and I have an assignment that might be dangerous. I knew my responsibility would be huge but I wanted this, Isao. So many truths I've learned. I've learned the truth behind Third Impact and of course, it's classified. I've learned the truths about my parents. No, I'm not angry with them for not telling me all these years. Sawyer explained to me that, more then likely, it was because my parents never wanted me to see what they went through. I can only imagine the horrors that they've seen and the hardships that they have endured. It's funny though, out of the ashes of a broken world, I was born. Was that why I was named Hope? Was I supposed to be their hope for the future and the hope of the world? Is that my purpose, Isao? Is that why all of my life I've felt that my purpose is meant for something greater? I have no clue what it may be. Isao, help me. Help me to ease my pain. I need you, my love.
Isao, I must tell you, that man, Sawyer Dell, I am attracted to him. I know you would want me to go on and live my life. I know you would want me to find another and be happy. Isao, I was happiest with you. You knew what I was about. You could see inside of my heart and know what I was feeling. No one can do that. No could ever do that except for my father. You and my father know me best.
Isao, four years have passed and to this day I mourn you as much as the day you died. If Souke hadn't saved me from myself I more then likely would be with you right now. Sometimes I wish I were. To be with you in Heaven is better then be on Earth in misery.
No one really knows how I feel. I can trick the psychiatrists into believing that I've recovered and that I'm fine. When they ask me about you, I say I miss you but that I know your gone and my life must go forward.
In truth, I feel my heart breaking every day. Every night I miss your scent, your touch, and the sound of your voice. Isao, I had never made love to a man before I met you. You were my one and only. There hasn't been another since. I haven't even felt like…. I've wanted to be with anyone else. You were my only lover, the only one I would ever want to fill that void.
Today, Souke said something to me. You know, Souke, he has a way with words! Sometimes the words that come out of his mouth are so outlandish and appalling that I just feel the urge to beat the crap out of him! I usually do. Yet, sometimes Souke makes sense. Souke is pushing me to let people into my heart. Why is it I can't do that?
Isao, I am worried. I am worried because I put up a wall to shut people out. I am feeling that it will interfere with my work. My new assignment, Isao, is piloting a device my parents used to. This device is an instrument of destruction and of death. Yet, it must be used to stop a greater threat. If I am not able to pilot this device, the cost to humanity may be immeasurable.
In essence, Isao, I am the hope of the world right now. What a burden this is. Now I can understand my father's dilemma all those years ago. I can understand why he felt the way he did about the past. I never knew why my Dad avoided talking about his younger years but I always saw sadness in his eyes as he told me that it was a time of his life he'd rather not remember. He did say though that without the hardship that he had known he would have never have met my mother and he would not be the man he is today. I wish I could have just a tenth of his wisdom and strength!
Now my father is dying. Two years ago he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We have no idea how he could have gotten it. The prognosis was six months to a year and for two years he's proven those doctors wrong.
I want to go to my father and ask him about the EVA. I want to know what the secret is for acceptance. I want to know how I can ease the pain in my heart. My father is the only one in the world, aside from you, who knows me inside and out. My father used to say all the time, hang onto me and Daddy will keep you safe. Now he can't. I wish he could!
Isao, I need clarity. I don't know where to find it. What should I do? Should I resign? Should I go back to the base and just be a captain and accept my fate that at the next review board I will be discharged from the military? Should I gather my courage and my strength and believe that I can pilot a device that I am unsure of? Isao, what do I do? Tell me. Show me the way. I need to know.
Hope raised her head and fixed her gaze upon the gravestone. Her eyes then focused further out to where the many other markers lined the cemetery. She saw a tree in the distance and imagined she could see Isao standing, smiling at her, wearing his black flight suit and letting her know that everything would be fine.
He wasn't there. She wished and prayed he could be but she knew he couldn't be there. He was gone. Dead. Isao was dead.
She closed her eyes as in her mind, she remembered the horrible day…. the last day she ever heard from him.
"MAYDAY! MAYDAY! RED SUN 5 TO BASE, COPY!"
She was sitting in control, monitoring the flight paths of the jets flying that day. Isao was on a routine run with his squadron.
Hope's eyes widened as she heard his voice. Immediately, she pressed the relay and said. "RED SUN, THIS IS BASE, REPORT!"
"BASE, IT'S STICKING…. I'M LOSING VELOCITY! CONTROLS ARE NOT RESPONDING! I CAN'T HOLD HER!"
"Major Katsumoto!" The squadron commander said over the relay. "EJECT IMMEDIATELY! Abort and return! Abort and return!"
"Negative. Emergency ejection is offline, copy!"
"Major, try to hold it for emergency landing!"
"Negative. I have no control."
"Eject, Major!" Hope yelled out over the relay as her voice started to shake. "Eject yourself!"
"Negative. I can't."
"Isao…" her voice trailed off as she heard him.
"Captain Ikari, vacate the room immediately!" The squadron commander told her.
"Sir…" Hope said with pleading eyes as she looked up at him.
"That is an order! Now, Captain!"
"Yes, sir." Hope said in a barely audible tone as she stood up from her console and was quickly replaced by another officer.
The squadron commander stood in front of the screen, he his shouted orders "GIVE ME A VISUAL NOW!"
People hurried about the room as klaxons sounded. "WARNING, CODE RED! CODE RED!"
The screen then flashed, in the corner in red letters it read RED SUN-5 showing Isao's jet in a death-spin hurling towards the ground.
"MAJOR KATSUMOTO! TRY THE EJECT!"
"NEGATIVE NO RESPONSE."
"Godspeed, Isao." The commander said flatly.
Hope turned just as she was about to leave and heard the last words ever from him.
"I love you, Hope."
Then she had watched on the screen as his plane crashed into the ground below, exploding on contact. Bursts of orange flames were on the screen as she watched in horror.
'EMERGENCY CREWS TO CRASH SITE NOW!" The commander yelled out.
Hope didn't hear anything or see anyone come towards her. Her eyes went wide and her body was trembling.
She didn't feel her fellow officers hold her by both arms to take her out of the room. She didn't hear them call to her to come with them.
She only felt like her heart had stopped. In that one moment, everything seemed to be frozen in time as her screams filled the room.
"ISAO!" She cried out. "ISAO!'
Then she remembered nothing more after that, everything went black.
At Isao's grave, as she shut her eyes, remembering the horrible accident that took Isao's life her mind flooded back to the aftermath of that. She didn't remember very much during that time. She remembered only a few things.
The aftermath…
"Where is my daughter you idiot?" A middle-aged woman wearing a black uniform shouted in front of a hospital room. "WHERE IS SHE?"
"Asuka, calm down!"
"Don't' patronize me, Shinji! Where is Hope? Where is she?"
"Asuka, Isao was killed."
"Oh my God, Shinji!" Asuka said with wide eyes. "How? What happened?"
"Plane crash." Shinji said in a low voice. "Hope collapsed. She saw it, Asuka. She collapsed and they took her to the hospital. Physically, she's fine. Emotionally though, I think she's a wreck. She's in with the doctor right now. Honey, Hope is not doing too well since she learned about Isao."
"What do you mean, Idiot? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
"Asuka, calm down, Honey." He said to her reassuringly.
"Shinji, what's wrong with her?"
"She's in a catatonic state. She won't answer to anyone. Not me. Not Souke. Not Reina. No one. Asuka, the shock of seeing Isao's plane explode may have been too much for her…she's been like this since I got here."
"NO!" Asuka yelled out as she tore into the hospital room and pushed the doctor to the side. "Hope!" Standing over her daughter's bed, Asuka's eyes were wide as she was looking at Hope who stared blankly at the ceiling.
Hope's face was pale, her hair was matted as she lay in the bed. She was wearing a white hospital gown and there was no emotion on her face at all. Her eyes looked like they had been glazed over. Tubes ran out of her. One long tube connected her to an IV that dripped beside her. On her body were telemetry monitors checking on her heart rate and respiration.
In Hope's mind were jumbles of thoughts.
Plane burned.
Unfamiliar ceiling.
I mustn't run away.
Isao's dead.
I want to die.
"Hope…" Asuka said in a tearful voice as her hand covered her mouth. "…. Baby? It's Mama."
Mama.
Hope did not respond. She didn't look her mother in the eye. Her eyes were fixed straight ahead.
Asuka stroked the hair from her eyes and lightly placed her palm on her daughter's cheek. "Oh my God." Asuka whispered as she tried to hold her tears back. "Oh God! Oh, Shinji! Oh, God!"
Immediately, she turned to her husband and he held her close to him as she grabbed onto his shirt. Her tears fell onto him and she buried her face into his chest so nobody would see.
"I'm here, Asuka." Shinji whispered to her as he held his wife.
"NO!" Asuka yelled out angrily through clenched teeth as she banged her fists on her husband's chest screaming out each time she banged her fists on his chest. "NO! NO! NO!"
"Stop, Asuka." Shinji told her gently as he held her tighter letting a tear escape from his eye. "Stop it! Stop, Asuka! Asuka, we have to help her."
"Shinji…" Asuka's voice trailed off as she grabbed onto her husband's shirt. "My baby, Shinji…my poor little girl…what she saw…oh my God, Shinji."
"Honey," Shinji said gently. ", Hope needs us now. We have to remind her. We have to give her the message she needs."
Asuka shut her eyes and nodded her head. "I know, Shinji."
"We have to help her." Shinji told his wife.
"I know, Shinji." Asuka said as she looked into her husband's face with a tear coming out of her eye.
"She'll be okay. We just need to remind her of who she is." Shinji told Asuka as he gently wiped her tears away..
"Okay, Shinji." Asuka said as they both turned to Hope and stood over her bedside.
Shinji had his arm around Asuka. Asuka took a deep breath and said to her.
"Hope, listen to me?" Asuka asked gently as her voice cracked. "My little girl, I know you hurt badly. I know you've sustained a terrible loss but Hope; you have to remember who you are and what you've learned. You've got a destiny to fulfill."
Mama. No more. No more life. I want to die.
"You have to come back with all of your strength." Asuka said as her voice strained with sobs. :"Your strength can never leave you. Love is strength, Hope. We are the source of your strength. Use our strength to come back. Follow my voice, baby. Follow my voice and come back to me. With all of your strength, fight back."
No. I can't fight back, Mom. I don't want to. I want to be with Isao.
Hope did not move. Her eyes stared blankly at the ceiling.
Asuka though would not give up. Shinji stayed beside her. He held onto his wife as she spoke to their heartbroken, catatonic daughter.
"Hope," Asuka said as she pulled up a chair and sat by her daughter's bedside, taking her hand into her own. ", Come back, Hope. Please, baby. Don't give up. You can't. You're too important to us. You're too important to everyone. Baby, we need you. We need you in our lives. We both love you so much, Hope. Please come back, Hope. Come back. Please, Baby."
Shinji breathed in as Asuka tried for hours, and then days to get through to her daughter. He also tried to speak to her and hope that somehow an emotional response would come through.
"Hope, Honey," Shinji said to her as he sat by her beside in a chair and looked upon her with tears in his eyes. "Its Daddy. Honey, I know you're heart is hurting. I know how much pain you're in. Baby, you have to come back. Mommy and me love you so much. Souke loves you. Reina loves you. Everyone misses you and wants you to get better. Hope, Isao's funeral is soon. You have to get better.":
No, Daddy. I can't see him go into the ground. No. I want to be with him, Daddy. Let me go.
"Baby, you're our hope of the world, do you know that?" Shinji asked gently. "I've loved you since the first day I held you in my arms. You're my princess and you can't give up. Honey, find your strength. Find it and use it to its fullest advantage. Believe in yourself."
Daddy. Daddy, my Isao is gone…Isao…gone…I want to die.
It was three weeks later and nothing happened. Doctors were worried about Hope's physical state, as it seemed to get worse and not better.
Though her friends and family constantly tried to reassure her, her brother did not feel the same way.
It's not my fault, Souke. Don't be mad.
"BULLSHIT, DAD!" Souke yelled out in hall outside of her hospital room. He was furious as he was nose to nose with his father, yelling in his face. "THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!"
"S…Souke, you step back right now!" Shinji said in a low warning tone.
"I am not afraid of you, Dad!" Souke growled. "I think you're an idiot for this theory that you have! Hope will come back as long as we tell her we love her? Dad, Hope wants to die! Face it! She watched Isao die! That won't bring her back, Dad!"
"Son, we have to try…. we have to keep trying."
"FUCK THAT, DAD!" Souke yelled. "She's a fucking coward! How can she well herself up like that? How can she do this to us? What? She loses Isao, so we have to lose her too? Fuck that, Dad! NO FUCKING WAY WILL I GO IN THERE AND TELL I LOVE HER AND MISS HER AND THAT SHE NEEDS TO FIND HER STRENGTH! It's gotten you nowhere! I need to tell her she's a coward, a wimp, spineless and she's causing her family to hurt! If I get her blood boiling, she'll want to fight, Dad! You have to get her to fight! Make her fight! You are an idiot, Dad! Let me do it!"
Don't hate me, Souke.
"Souke…." Shinji warned.
"Fuck you!" Souke growled.
Souke! Please…. no. Don't be mean to Daddy. He is trying to help. I don't want help. I want to die.
Just as Souke uttered the comment, Asuka came out of the elevator and saw her son and his father nose-to-nose, glaring at one another. Both men were furious, both men had their hands balled into fists.
Asuka sprang into action, running down the hall as she heard Souke yell out.
"FUCK YOU, SHINJI! I'M OUTTA HERE!"
"Souke!" Shinji said firmly as Souke walked away from him.
"SOUKE IKARI!" Asuka snapped.
Souke stopped dead in his tracks as he saw his mother and gulped.
"HOW DARE YOU!" Asuka said in a fury. "DON'T YOU SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER THAT WAY!"
"Back off, Ma!" Souke told his mother forcefully as he straightened up and stared her down.
Asuka took a breath and walked towards him, standing right in front of her grown son. She spoke calmly to her son, as she placed her hands on his arms. "Souke, listen to me. We are all under stress, Souke. We are all worried about, Hope. Now, is a time when we need to pull together and not tear each other apart. You apologize right now!"
"NO!" Souke boomed out as he shrugged his mother off. He tried to go forward but Asuka blocked his path.
"Souke Ikari, you calm down!" Asuka warned.
Frustrated, he growled, "Get out of my way, Ma!"
Asuka stood and looked up at her son, all six feet of him, and breathed out, staring him directly in the eye.
"No! Souke, you are a little brat!" Asuka growled. "You are out of line!"
"I was not! It's how I feel! This whole situation is bullshit, Mom!" Souke yelled out. "All of it is stupid and ridiculous!"
"Don't you swear at me, mister!" Asuka told him firmly.
"Mom, I'm twenty-one! I'm a grown man and I don't take orders from anyone! I don't' have to listen to you or Dad any longer! I graduated college all ready! I don't need to suck up for anymore school funds!"
Souke, you better watch it.
Asuka raised her eyebrow. She took a step forward as Shinji took a step back. Souke did not move.
:"What are you gonna do?" Souke asked as he crossed his arms and stared his mother down. "Huh, Ma?" he asked sarcastically as he bent his knees bringing him down to Asuka's eye level. "What are you gonna do to me, huh, General Asuka?"
Shinji sighed as he put his hand behind his neck. He felt like yelling at Souke right now himself but what Asuka had planned seemed to be better.
Asuka breathed out.
She was quick.
Souke didn't know what hit him as his head and body spun around. He staggered back, holding his hand over his reddened cheek looking at his mother with shock.
"MA!" Souke called out. "You…. slapped me!"
Asuka walked over to him, her hands balled in fists and screamed out. "IDIOT!" Then she regained her posture and pointed her finger at her son, saying. "DON'T YOU EVER, EVER CURSE AT YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT AGAIN! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE 21 OR 25 OR 40 OR 60! NEVER, EVER CURSE YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT AGAIN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, SOUKE IKARI?"
"Yes, Ma." Souke said as he sniffled, holding his reddened cheek.
"I'll give you a right hook if you disrespect me or your father like that again!" Asuka told him firmly as she stared him in the eye.
Souke straightened up, shaking his head. He sighed as he looked over at Shinji. "Dad?"
Shinji looked back at his son and breathed in, still angry at the way he had been.
"Dad, I'm…. I'm sorry I disrespected you. Please forgive me, Dad. I'm so sorry." Souke said as he bowed his head and began to cry.
Asuka looked over at Shinji and the two of them walked over to him, both of them hugging their son.
"Its okay, Souke." Shinji told him. "I know you're angry."
"Ma," Souke said as he looked at her. "Mother, I'm so sorry…. I am so…. very sorry…I didn't mean…"
"Its all right." Asuka said gently.
"Mom, I only thought that if I…. if…I…. told Hope…. something different…get her to fight…. she'd come back!"
"Souke," Asuka said as she sighed. ", Hope is very ill. Anything traumatic could push her over the edge. Souke, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Mom, please…let me try?" Souke asked in a barely audible tone, with his soft blue eyes looking into her own. "Please, Ma?"
Asuka breathed out as she looked at her son. "Souke…. you…shouldn't be harsh with her."
Souke breathed out in frustration and then turned his gaze to his father. . "Dad…I know what you said earlier…. but please, Dad…. Please…can I…can I try?" Souke's blue eyes stared at Shinji as tears fell from them, his face pleaded for help and Shinji took a deep breath as he looked back at Asuka then darted his eyes to his son and nodded his head.
"Shinji, what?"
"Let him try, Asuka." Shinji said as he hugged his wife. "Let him."
Asuka worried as she looked up at her husband. She turned her attention back to her son, a grown man, crying in front of her, wanting to help his sister and hurting because he was afraid he was going to lose his best friend.
"Please, Ma?" Souke asked again.
"All right." Asuka whispered as Shinji held onto her.
Souke wiped his tears away and cleared his throat as he walked into the hospital room. He made his way to his sister's hospital bed.
Souke, I want to die. Don't use your mind games on me. It won't work.
He took a deep breath as he approached Hope's bed and stood by her bedside. He looked up at the ceiling and then cast his eyes down upon her, looking disgusted.
"I know you can hear me." Souke told her. "I don't give a fuck that you can. If you heard me talking to Mom and Dad outside, it's the truth. I want you to come back. You're my best friend, Hope. I can't lose you. You lost Isao, okay? I lost Isao too. Isao became my friend, Hope. I lost him too. You missed the funeral, Hope. He was buried in military fashion. Twenty one-gun salutes, missing man formation flying overheard, the flag was given to his mother. I watched them lower the coffin into the ground. I would have stood beside you, Hope, and held your hand and let you cry on me. You should have been there! His mother delayed as long as she could to wait for you! She couldn't wait anymore. Everyone wondered where you were and I told them the truth, Hope. I said you had a mental breakdown. I said that the shock of seeing him die in front of you caused you to fall into catatonia. No, Hope, I didn't sugarcoat it. It's because I hate you for what you are doing to all of us."
Souke, no, please….
"Hope, I know what you're thinking. You think it's so easy to quit right now! You want to give up and fall but what would that do, Hope? You know what it would do?" he asked as he bit his bottom lip and stopped himself from bawling. He cleared his throat and then began to speak harshly. "…. It wouldn't do anything! You'd die. We'd miss you for a time and then our lives would go on. You'd miss it all, Hope. You're life would be meaningless. You would have died a coward."
Coward? No, Souke, don't! Please, I just…I can't find the will. Souke, no.
"Hope!" Souke said to her firmly as he looked down at her. "Wake up, Hope! Enough of this! Do you think Isao wants this for you? I know you miss him. I know you want to be with him! Damnit, Hope, you can't leave us though! We need you! I need you! I'm your brother damnit. I'm your younger brother and best friend! I'm telling you, Hope, that you have more in your life to accomplish! Get your ass out of bed and fight back!"
I can't fight back, Souke. I have no strength. I just…. let me go, Souke. I'm sorry.
Souke looked and saw a small tear come out of her eye.
He was happy.
He had gotten her to react to him.
It was just a tear but it was a response.
She had heard him.
Souke breathed in and wanted to jump for joy but he continued on, knowing he only had a foot in the door.
"What's the matter, Hope? Feeling sorry for yourself again?" Souke scoffed and then shook his head. "You fucking wimp! Coward! You're hiding within yourself! You're hiding so you can't face life! Are you going to quit, Hope? ARE YOU?"
From the outside, Asuka almost ran to Hope as she heard Souke yell. Shinji held her back, holding her against him.
"Don't tell me you're going to quit now, Hope!" Souke said firmly. "You? You are the biggest fighter I know! For years, Hope, you've always beaten me up when I deserved it. Remember, when I spied on you while you had your first kiss underneath the tree with that baka fuckhead skinny toned freak you met in junior high? What did you do? You saw me and gave me a spanking, didn't you? What about when I accidentally walked in on you and Isao doing the deed back at the apartment, huh? What did you do, Hope? You chased my ass down and knocked me in the head about six times! Where is Captain Ikari? Where is the woman who still holds the record for the decathlon at the academy? Where is the woman who got into a jet and flew at Mach 5 as fast as the wind could carry her? Where is my sister?" he asked as he looked down.
Souke, stop it!
"You know what I think?" Souke asked. "I think she died. You're just a shell or are you?" Quickly, Souke dashed to her bedside and leaned down so that he was right beside her. He said in a low, threatening growl. "Fight back now! Are you a fucking coward, Captain Ikari? Maybe you are! Anyone who hides within him or herself to stop from facing life is a fucking coward!"
He straightened up and scoffed again as he said cruelly. "Go ahead and die, Hope! Why don't you go ahead and do that! Just end the torment for the rest of us! I will not mourn you when you die! I'll think you just killed yourself for your own self-pity and that makes me sick. Go to hell, Hope. You're a fucking liar and a coward! I don't respect you at all or feel sorry for you! I'd spit on you but I don't want to waste the energy!"
Angrily, he turned away from her and closed his eyes, his hands turned into fists. "I'm sorry." He whispered aloud under his breath. He took a deep breath, opening his eyes as he took a step forward.
"Souke…"
Souke stopped dead in his tracks, as he heard the words, they were barely coherent and sounded like a small hush but the words were clear. He suddenly breathed in with a feeling of elation as he turned.
"Hope?" he asked.
He saw her eyes dart towards him.
His eyes widened.
"HOPE!" He called out loudly as he rushed to her bedside and stared at her with a smile and tears in his eyes. "Hope! It's me! Its your brother!"
Shinji and Asuka bolted into the hospital room. Both of them looked on happily. They embraced and held onto one another, crying and laughing at the same time as tears of joy ran down their faces.
"Don't you ever call ME a coward!" Hope yelled at Souke as she grabbed his wrist and looked into his face.
"HOPE!" Souke called out happily as he hugged her. "HOPE! OH MY GOD! You're back! You're back!"
"I'm gonna beat your ass for what you said, Souke!" She yelled out.
"I don't care." Souke said happily with tears of joy in his eyes. "You're back. You're back, Hope! Hope, I'm so sorry I said what I said to you…but I had to get you to come back! I had to get you to fight me! Oh God, Hope! I love you so much!"
Hope looked back into her brother's face seeing the tears stream out of his eyes. She darted her eyes to her parents holding one another, crying onto one another, smiling at her with tear stained faces but happiness in seeing she was okay..
She looked back to her brother and whispered. "Souke…Isao."
"I know." Souke told her.
"Isao's gone." She said to him in a painful voice as tears fell from her eyes.
"Yes, Hope." Souke whispered to her.
Hope stared into her brother's face as she sat up. She placed her palm, lightly on his cheek. Her bottom lip shook and then she started bawling uncontrollably as Souke wrapped his arms around her and she in turn held onto him.
"ISAO!" She yelled out as loud as she could. "NO! NO! NOT ISAO! NOT ISAO!" Her cries flooded the room.
"It's okay, Sis. I'm here." Souke whispered to her. "I'm gonna help you, Hope. Let us help you, okay?"
"Oh God, Souke!" Hope cried out. "Isao…my Isao is gone! SOUKE, MY FIANCE IS DEAD!"
"It's okay, Hope." He told her. "We'll get through this. I'm your best friend and I'm your brother. I'll always be here for you."
"Souke…"
Hope looked to her parents as she opened her eyes and whispered. "Mama. Daddy."
They both came over to her and comforted her. She continued to cry for hours. She needed to.
"You saved my life, Souke." Hope whispered to him.
"I know." He said to her. "What has Mom and Dad always told us, Hope? Love is our strength. Let me be your strength, Hope. Let us all be your strength now."
Hope nodded as she continued to cry.
I came back…
Hope looked at her watch. It was 7:30 and the dusk was starting to settle in. She wasn't afraid of being alone at the cemetery at night. She had her martial arts training and could easily overwhelm an assailant. She took another breath as she stared at Isao's tombstone. The memories were inside of her. No matter what she did, she would never forget them.
When she came here, it was all she could think of.
"I'm going to try, Isao." Hope said. "I'll love you forever but I promise you, just like as I always do each and every time I come here, that I will try to move on and make my life whole. Isao. I'll come back to see you next week. Thank you for loving me as much as you did. I promise, my love. I will…try."
With that, she stood up and began to walk back to her car. She took another deep breath and looked ahead to the crimson sunset.
"Tomorrow, I will give it my all." She said as her fists tightened at her side. "I promise you, Isao. I will."
( Author's Note: No, its not over by a long shot but stay tuned for the next chapters because I am going to raise the stakes and you don't want to miss a beat. Until then J.Alana says see ya on the next fic/or vid whichever comes first. ;)