Chapter 14

As Hope walked into her apartment, she threw her car keys down on the dining table and thumbed through the mail. She took a breath as she tried to clear her mind, not noticing who was sitting in the armchair. She saw Souke's knapsack over near the corner and nodded her head.

"Hey Souke?" Hope called out.

"Yeah." Her brother answered.

"Any calls?"

"No!" he called out.

"Whatcha doin?" Hope asked.

"Working on my paper!" Souke called back. "How was work?" he asked.

"Okay." Hope said as she looked through the mail. "Bills. Bills. Junk mail. Letter from Mom. Letter from Reina. Bills." Hope put some of the mail down and opened up one of the bills, shaking her head and exhaling in frustration. "Hey!" She called out. "You want pizza for dinner?"

"Okay, Hope." Souke called back as she heard the stereo turn on and heard the annoying sounds of the rock music that she couldn't stand to listen to.

"Hey, why don't you turn that damned stereo down, Souke?"

"Sorry, Hope!" Souke called out as she heard the volume go down.

"Okay, I'm ordering pizza for dinner."

"I all ready ordered Chinese."

Hope nearly jumped as she heard the voice and turned quickly to see Sawyer Dell sitting in her living room smiling at her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked with annoyance.

"I thought I'd come by to visit you." He said. "Your brother let me in."

"Oh yeah! Forgot to tell you! Sawyer is here too!" Souke called out.

"Thanks, Souke!" Hope called out as she crossed her arms. "Why are you here?" She asked with the same annoyed tone.

"Honestly?" Dell asked.

"Yes!" Hope growled.

"I just want to get to know you better."

"Oh is that all?" Hope asked.

"Isn't that good enough?" he asked her.

"I do not fraternize with co-workers or superior officers, Commander."

"Well, the other reason is because I wanted to discuss the harmonics output test with you. If you recall earlier, I did say I wanted to discuss it with you today. Tomorrow you're going into the EVA simulator and you need to know some things before you do that."

"Here?" Hope asked.

"Yes, unless you'd like to meet me elsewhere for dinner." Dell said with a smirk.

Hope scoffed and shook her head. "You just don't know when to quit, do you, Mr. Dell?"

"What happened to Commander?"

"I'm off duty." Hope said firmly. "Look, I don't know why you insist on constantly following me around but there are some rules I have. Rule number one; never get involved with someone you work with! Rule number two, do not develop friendships with co-workers, enlisted personell, fellow officers or superior officers!"

"Strict rules." Sawyer said to her.

"Mr. Dell, whatever you have to say can't it wait until tomorrow morning? If not we will go to the base to discuss it."

"What's wrong with you?" Dell asked.

"What do you mean?" Hope asked.

"Do you treat all men this way?"

"No!" Hope blurted.

"Okay, let's look at some facts. Granted, I'm technically your superior officer. Okay, that's fine. Personally, I like you. I think you are smart, funny, very charming and very attractive. I would like to get to know you better. I would like us to be friends and maybe go out sometime."

"I don't need any new friends."

"Oh really?" Dell asked. "Why is that, Hope? What possibly could have hurt you so bad that you push people away like that?"

"What are you? A psychoanalyst? Why don't you pick a copy of my personnel file and read it for yourself, Commander?"

"I don't really want to resort to that, Major." Dell said. "I've read your personnel file, Hope. I've known that you've had some type of trauma in your life but I'm not really sure what it is."

"I'm sure you don't, Commander." Hope said wryly.

"In your file, Hope, are two sealed documents from the Base Infirmary and the Base Psychiatric Hospital in Kyoto. In your file it states you went through a personal trauma due to on the job stress. It doesn't go into details. It just lists an A7 code. A7 is classified as comrade killed in line of duty and the name under the A7 is Major Isao Katsumoto!" Sawyer said to her firmly.

"I see." Hope said as she gritted her teeth.

"That's all I know and I know that Major Isao Katsumoto was killed when his jet crashed due to a gas line that ruptured in his jet four years ago. So that's all I know, Hope."

"Okay." Hope said as she bit her lip and looked away, obviously shaken by what he had just said.

"You knew him, Hope?" Sawyer asked.

"Yes." Hope said as she tried not to give in to her feelings of pain "He was my fiancé, Commander and he was killed right in front of me! I saw his jet crash into the ground. I watched him die."

"Oh." Sawyer said as he breathed in. "I am very sorry, Major. I had no idea that…"

"Sure you didn't." Hope said sarcastically. "I've seen my own personnel file, Commander. I know what it says. It's right there! Plain as day! If you've seen my personnel file than you have seen the exact same documents."

"Are you talking about the sealed documents containing your medical data?" Sawyer asked.

"Yes, Commander. I take it you've read them?"

"No, I haven't. They are in a manila envelope and I do not like reading sealed files unless it's deemed necessary." Sawyer told her.

"So you've bypassed reading my file from the psychiatric hospital, Commander?" Hope asked.

"Yes, Major. I have." Sawyer told her. "You know maybe you are right. Maybe we should just be…. business and that's it."

"Perhaps." Hope said.

"Okay then." Sawyer said as he stood up. "Sorry for intruding on you, Major. Here, you can read the file yourself." He said as he threw the folder down on the folder. "If you have any questions, you may call me."

Hope watched as he began to walk towards the door, as he walked away she felt something welling up inside of her.

For some reason she wasn't quite sure of, she asked. "Did you call in the order for the Chinese food?" What are you doing, Hope?

Sawyer stopped as a grin came across his face and then he turned to her. "Yes I did."

"Well, why don't you stay and have dinner then. I mean you ordered it. There will be much food." Hope, warning, warning! Trouble ahead! Disengage immediately! Abort! Abort!

"I don't want to impose upon your privacy, Major." Sawyer said to her.

"You wouldn't be, Sawyer." Hope said to him. Oh now why did you do that? You went ahead and called him Sawyer? You fool!

This time he looked at her with a smile, as he asked. "Are you sure?"

"Why not?" Hope asked. "I might have been premature in judging you." Oh, you're done for now, girl.

"Oh?" Sawyer asked in a confused way.

"Perhaps, I could…get to know you a little." Hope responded with a smile.

Sawyer breathed in as he saw her smile, it was quite unlike the usual scowl that she had. In fact, it made him feel something inside of himself that he hadn't known before and he smiled back at her as he said. "You should smile more often. It looks good on you."

Hope chuckled as she said. "I'm not one to let people…know me so easily."

"That's all right." Sawyer said to her. "I'd like to get to know you, if you'd let me."

"I suppose." Hope said to him as she looked into his eyes and felt butterflies going off in her stomach, she couldn't help to smile back at him and think to herself. Souke's right. The wall has to come down eventually.

"I have to say that's quite a turnaround." Sawyer told her.

"Well, I even surprise myself sometimes." Hope joked.

Sawyer smiled at her and then said. "Why don't we sit at the table and discuss the output readings? There are some things that I need to discuss with you which is partly the reason I stopped by."

"Why didn't you tell me at the base before?" Hope asked.

"I didn't have the results then. They came in after you were off duty." He said to her.

"Oh, that makes sense." Hope said as she pulled up a chair. "Actually, I'm just…going to go change. I hate wearing my uniform when I'm off duty."

"Sure." Sawyer said.

"Are you sure its okay to discuss the results of the test here? I mean my brother is here. Isn't this classified information?"

"I'm not concerned about Souke." Sawyer said. "He seems to be otherwise, occupied."

Hope chuckled as she said. "Yeah, you could say that. Give my brother a stereo and his assignments and he's all about the books."

"How is it he lives with you?" Sawyer asked.

"Well, you know going away to college…. Souke wasn't crazy about being in the dorms. I mean he's pretty outgoing, likes to hang out, and dates a lot and overall he's just an average guy but when it comes to his studies, he's very focused. Souke knew that the dorms would be distracting so, I offered to have him stay with me. When he graduated and went to law school, he stayed here. My family is happy that he's with me. I think it's their way of keeping an eye on me."

"That was nice of you." Sawyer told her.

"I had another reason. I like having my little brother around. He's my best friend."

"I can see that." Sawyer said. "When I came by, Souke wouldn't shut up."

"Oh yeah, he does tend to ramble." Hope said as she blushed a little.

"He thinks very highly of you. He admires you a lot." Sawyer said to her.

"Well, he's my brother." Hope said as she smiled and then turned on her heel walking towards her bedroom. "I'll be…. just a sec. Make yourself comfortable."

"Thanks." He said to her.

Hope walked towards her bedroom knowing that Sawyer was watching her, she smirked as she went in and then closed the door, exhaling, smiling and shaking her head. "You're in for it now." Hope said to herself aloud as she went to her closet and looked for something comfortable to wear.

A few minutes later, she emerged from the bedroom and Sawyer once again smiled as he looked up from his documents and saw her.

"I hope I wasn't too long." Hope said as she walked over to the table.

"Not at all." Sawyer said with a smile as he looked back at her. She wasn't dressed at all like a diva. Instead, she wore a simply USC gray sweatshirt and a pair of blue jeans. Her hair was neatly tied back and Sawyer thought to himself. Damn, she looks good.

Hope blushed catching the twinkle in his eyes and then chuckled as she settled down into her chair. "So what is it about the test?"

Sawyer took another glance at her before he cleared his throat and then said. "Well, basically the harmonic output that you have is a close match to what Unit 1 will accept."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you have a 90 chance of being accepted as its pilot."

"With a ten percent margin for rejection." Hope said as she breathed out. "What could happen if Unit 1 rejects me?"

"Its uncertain." Sawyer said. "However, at the first sign we cam terminate the sync. The EVA simulator is pretty much the same as being in the EVA. The EVA will respond to you."

"Do you think the EVA will reject me?" Hope asked.

"I don't know how anyone could reject you." Sawyer told her with a smile.

Hope blushed as she looked down. "So what happens if the Unit does reject me?"

"Worse case scenario?" Sawyer asked.

"Yes." Hope responded.

"In previous viewings of NERV footage showing pilots that have been rejected by other Evangelion, we've seen automatic ejection of bioplug, freezing of LCL, shutdown of all life-support basically, the Unit wants to rid itself of the pilot by any means necessary. In some ways, the EVA has a mind of its own."

"Why is Unit 1 the only one in existence?"

"Unit's 00 and 02 were destroyed right before Third Impact occurred. Your mother was thought to be killed in Unit 2 when the completed Evangelion series attacked her. Unit 2-A was reconstructed but then decommissioned about twenty five years ago."

"My mother was attacked? Why?" Hope asked.

"SEELE was able to manipulate the governments into believing that NERV and Commander Gendo Ikari wanted to initiate Third Impact. A mandate was sent out to recover the Magi, the EVA's and exterminate all NERV personnel including the three pilots."

"SEELE had that much power?" Hope asked.

"Yes." Sawyer said. "SEELE's power influenced the United Nations a great deal. In fact, SEELE tried to undermine and destroy NERV. It was Gendo Ikari who kept them at bay for a while until, he forced their hand and they struck."

"So, the Japanese government believed SEELE?" Hope asked.

"When it was discovered through research that SEELE was behind it all, it was too late to recall the damage. Third Impact was all ready underway. It was too late. In the end, your parents were the only survivors of Third Impact."

"I still can't believe my parents endured something like that." Hope said. "To know you are the only ones left alive…it seems unreal. How old were they when this happened?"

"Fourteen or maybe fifteen years old." Sawyer said to her.

"Wow." Hope breathed out. "It does kind of explain why my parents had me when they were so young." Hope said with a chuckle. "I never knew any of it. Why is it you think that they never told me?"

"Oh that's easy." Sawyer told her. "To protect you, Hope."

"Protect me?" Hope asked.

"Yes, protect you from being what they were turned into. Your parent's childhoods were robbed from them. Third Impact changed your parents' lives dramatically. Hope, the one thing a parent never wants for their children is to endure any horror that they themselves have known."

"How is it you became so close to this, Sawyer? There had to be a reason and don't tell me that it was because of an interest in the truth of Third Impact?"

Sawyer breathed in as he looked at her and then said. "It was because I never wanted to see something like ever happen again. I knew the story behind Third Impact wasn't real. Throughout my life, I can't explain how I know, but I've had a feeling that Third Impact wasn't what they said it was. Call me crazy but I've always had the feeling that I needed to be involved and discover the truth. I grew up in Virginia. My parents were just average everyday people. I didn't come from a covert line of spies. I wanted to become a covert spy. I wanted to grow up and be something more then I ever thought I could be. All of this just seems right."

"So at twenty five you basically assumed all of it by yourself?" She asked.

"Yes. For five years that's what I've done, my work is important to me."

"I guess a man like you doesn't have much in the way of attachments." Hope said.

"Attachments?"

"You know, a wife, kids, family. Was that ever something you thought about?"

"Still do." Sawyer told her. "I just…. I've had relationships but when it came to my work…"

"They couldn't understand." Hope finished.

"That's right." Sawyer said.

"I know that feeling. Before I met Isao my relationships were like revolving doors. Guys didn't understand how much my career meant to me. The only time I didn't know that was when I met…"

"Isao." He said.

Hope nodded. "He put everything into a new light."

"You miss him a great deal, don't you?"

"Everyday of my life." Hope said as she breathed in. "His death changed me in a way you couldn't imagine."

"I could." Sawyer told her gently.

"I'm sorry…. I don't mean to…"

"Its all right." Sawyer told her. "I like listening to you. I want to know about you."

"You should think twice about that." Hope said as she looked down.

"I don't think so." He said as he gently reached for her hand and held it.

Hope looked over to him and saw him smiling at her, it was a warm smile and it made her feel something inside that she hadn't known in such a long time. Hope smiled at him as she looked at him holding her hand. As she breathed in once more, she saw those blue eyes of his dancing for her again.

"Sawyer…." She whispered.

"Yes?" he asked.

Hope could only stare back at him as he looked back at her. Her heart was beating wildly. She watched as he moved his chair closer to her and bought his arm around the back of her chair. His eyes darted to her lips as his head moved closer to her.

Hope closed her eyes as she parted her lips, he moved closer to her until he was a breath away.

"Hey!" Souke said as he came out of his room and stood in the hall.

Damnit, Hope thought, as she quickly straightened up as Souke caught a glimpse of two blushing adults.

Holy shit! Souke thought to himself. Way to go, Hope. Score! But, don't think I'm going to let you get away with this. Oh no! The Souke attack is just beginning I am going to milk this opportunity and tease the hell out of her.

"So? What are you guys up to, huh?" Souke asked. "A little office pow-wow, perhaps?"

"Souke!" Hope growled in a warning tone.

Sawyer turned a shade of red and put his hand behind his neck as he too quickly straightened up upon being startled by Souke.

"Chinese here, yet?"

"No, Souke. Dinner isn't here yet. Why don't you go back to work on your paper? I'll call you when the food's here."

Souke snickered as he looked at Sawyer and nodded his head as he said. "Suuuuuuure."

"Souke!" Hope growled as she began to get up from her chair.

"Okay, okay." Souke said with a smirk. As he turned, he winked at Hope and then proceeded back to his bedroom shutting the door behind him, once again turning up the stereo.

"TURN THE DAMN STERO DOWN!" Hope bellowed.

She heard the volume decrease once more and then sat back down as she looked at Sawyer blushing slightly.

"I apologize." Hope said to Sawyer. "My brother tends to be a bit…of a pest at times."

Sawyer laughed. "I think he's pretty amusing."

"Amusing?" Hope asked with a chuckle. "You try living with him! He's pretty much impossible!"

Sawyer laughed. "I can see you love your brother very much."

"Well yeah." Hope said. "I mean…. he's my brother. Oh my God, though, he's such an idiot."

Sawyer began laughing loudly as he heard her. Hope raised an eyebrow.

"Something funny?"

"You called him an idiot!" Sawyer said through a muffled laugh.

"He is one!"

"You sound just like your mother. She calls your Dad that all the time."

"Oh!" Hope groaned. "Not you too!"

"Why what's so bad about that?"

"I am nothing like my mother." Hope said. "My mother flies off the handle about every little thing! She constantly picks on my poor Dad. I don't think I ever remembered a day that went by, as a kid, and an adult, when she hasn't called my father an idiot or baka!. It's not right! My father is not an idiot! My father was a master carpenter and an expert cellist! She has some nerve calling him an idiot when she acts like one most of the time! She always boasts about herself! My mother and myself are nothing like each other! I only have her hair color and that's it! If anything, I'm more like my Dad."

"Suuuuuuuuuure." Sawyer said with a smirk.

"What?" Hope asked with a smirk.

"I think you would find it a complement to be compared alike to General Ikari. Your mother is a legend in her own right. Aren't you proud of that?"

"Of course I am!" Hope said. "I love my mother and I am very proud of her. I am honored to be her daughter but…. living in her shadow sometimes, its like…."

"…. People expecting you to be like her?" Sawyer asked.

"Kind of." Hope said.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about where that's concerned. You are definitely your own person."

"How is it your so perceptive?"

"I am a good judge of character." He said to her with a grin. "It's what's gotten me this far in life."

Hope smiled at him. "I actually am enjoying this."

"I am too." He told her. "I am glad I am came by today."

"I am too. You're not as bad as I thought you were."

Sawyer chuckled and then said. "Bad? You thought I was bad?"

"Well, you are an American." Hope said with a chuckle.

"And how is that bad?"

"I'm not even going to go into that." Hope said with a laugh.

"Oh, let me guess…" he said as he snickered. "Gaijin?"

"Whaa…"

"Gaijin, right? Round eye devil or bastard whichever you prefer." Sawyer said with a chuckle.

"Well, yeah that is what it means but I never thought you were gaijin!" Hope said with a laugh. "I am surprised you know what that means."

"I am fluent in Japanese as you can tell." Sawyer told her.

"I know but…there are some words that aren't learned when speaking Japanese."

"You're speaking about curses, right?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Sawyer smirked and then colorfully displayed for Hope all of the Japanese curses that he knew. "….I think that's all of them!"

Hope began to laugh as she heard him. "I would say so."

"Before I learn a language, I always learn the bad words first."

Hope smirked and then said in plain English. "Yeah, Sawyer, that's some shit."

"Oh you know my words too?" he asked.

"Quite a few." She responded.

"I'm impressed." Sawyer told her.

"What? You're impressed that I know how to curse in English?"

"Believe it or not, yes." He told her.

"You are an odd man, Sawyer Dell." Hope told him.

"I've been told that before." Sawyer said with a smirk.

( Stay tuned for the next updates coming shortly…..Again much thanks to Nick2951, you rock! ;)