In Forgiveness

The parlor of the Rousseau house was a powder keg of emotions, the fuse lit and burning ever closer to the inevitable explosion. Christine sat on the sofa with her wide brown eyes fastened on Meg, who, in turn, stood silently staring out the window. Erik knelt before his wife, pressing his hand against of the swell of his child as he studied Christine's face. She had sworn to him that her feelings for the boy were friendship only, and he had allowed himself to believe. Yet it was clear that she had lied to him. The look in Christine's eyes now spoke of jealousy, and he was certain she could see the reflection of it in his own eyes.

Erik had taken in every word exchanged in the foyer. His rage at the Vicomte had dimmed only slightly as the boy had gone on about chasing after Meg. Little Meg! The foolish fop had not come for Christine at all. Any amusement he might have felt at the situation had evaporated with Christine's reaction. No matter the reason, the damn boy was interfering in their lives once again.

Erik turned his head slightly as Antoinette crossed the room to stand beside her daughter. Raoul was following close behind, and paused to stare at Erik and Christine with pain clear in every line of his face. Then his eyes turned toward Meg and he took a step forward.

Erik felt his rage return tenfold. The boy had the nerve to invade his home...to upset his wife...Meg...Antoinette. Erik would not allow another moment of it, nor would he allow his fragile happiness to be destroyed by Raoul de Chagny once again. He flew to his feet, placing himself in the Vicomte's path despite Christine's concerned protest.

"Erik, no..."

He growled, "I will not have my wife upset any further. Or my guests. You will tell me now what your intentions are, Vicomte."

Raoul's eyes flashed with hatred before moving first to Christine, and then back over Erik's shoulder to where Meg stood watching them. Erik was mildly surprised to see the longing that sparkled there as the boy looked at Little Giry. Raoul met Erik's gaze again, his tone filled with icy resolve. "I will do nothing to upset Christine's happiness, Monsieur. You have my word as a gentleman."

From the corner of his eye, Erik saw Meg move from the window, rushing out the parlor door with her mother close behind her. Raoul turned instinctively to follow, but Erik clapped a hand over his shoulder and growled under his breath. "You have done quite enough damage to that girl for one day, Vicomte."

Raoul shrugged Erik's hand away. "It is nothing compared to the damage you have wrought!"

"Raoul! Erik! Stop this, both of you!"

Erik stepped away, restraining himself from doing physical damage to the man before him, but he could not completely suppress his anger. He felt it curl inside of him, twisting and burning for release. He turned to Christine with a scowl, "What would you have me do, Christine? Shall I fade into the shadows once again now that your vicomte has returned for you?"

Christine gasped, "Erik! Please! You know that I love you."

She had once said the same words to the man standing beside him. The memory of it would not be purged from Erik's mind. Nor the look of love in her eyes as she'd gazed at the boy on the roof of the Opera Populaire. Nor the jealousy that glimmered there today. He hissed, "Your words belie your expression, my dear." Erik turned back to Raoul with hatred blazing in his eyes. "It seems, le Vicomte, that you and my wife still have some business to settle. Kindly inform me when you are through here."

Erik stalked out of the parlor, not trusting himself to be anywhere near either the boy or Christine at the moment. He headed to the sanctuary of his music room, slamming the door behind him. He stood staring at the piano, hands itching to lift the bench and send it smashing through the window. Growling, he spun away, only to stare at the chaise in the corner. He could still see her there as she had been on their first night in this house. He squeezed his eyes shut, turning away from the chair and pacing to the window.

Damn her. Once again she blushes at her handsome Vicomte.

He should have killed the boy at first sight.

Yet you did not. And you have left him alone with Christine.

Erik had thrown her words of love back in her face.

But you always strike out at her. Like the poisonous viper you are.

But damn it, he had seen her eyes…seen how she had looked at Meg and Raoul together, even in argument. Was he expected to just ignore it?

Feeling caged and in need of air, he tore out of the music room and headed to the rear of the house, and out the door. Halfway to the orchard, he saw Meg and Antoinette in awkward silence on a garden bench.

Meg. She unknowingly brought that boy here.

Erik's temper ebbed slightly as he watched the girl, her face a reflection of his own anguish. He could barely grasp onto the notion that Little Giry could actually be in love with the fop.

Damned insolent boy! First Christine…now Meg. Can that fool not find some suitable little socialite to drape over his arm?

Yet there had been a glimmer of real emotion that passed between the two, and now Meg was suffering over the Vicomte's reunion with Christine just as Erik was. He found himself moving in the direction of the garden, strangely comforted by the fact that, for once, he was not alone in his misery.

xXx

Inside the parlor, Christine sat upon the sofa, with Raoul sitting at a careful distance next to her. After Erik's cutting accusation and his abrupt departure, she'd dissolved into tears. Raoul had made some attempt to soothe her, but it was clear that he was struggling with his own tumultuous emotions. He'd gone from anger, to confusion, and back again; and now he sat staring at her with pain evident in his eyes.

He had asked her if she was happy, and despite her rather unconvincing display since his arrival, Christine had assured him that she was. Raoul's unexpected presence here had been a shock, to say the least. Seeing him once again at Erik's mercy, knowing that her husband would have happily slit his throat, had bought back every painful moment of the last time the three of them had stood facing one another. She had been afraid for Raoul...afraid for Erik. Afraid that her happiness was about to be destroyed, either by Erik's murderous temper or Raoul's discovery of their secret.

She told Raoul as much.

His voice rose frustration, "I would never have come at all if anyone had bothered telling me the truth in the first place!"

"I am sorry for that." Christine reached out and placed one delicate hand over his. There were so many things that she regretted about her actions toward the man before her now, and it was almost a relief now to have him here. To finally ease her guilty conscious. "I never meant to hurt you, Raoul. You must know that. I...was so confused about my feelings in the beginning. It was unfair of me to turn to you for answers that I should have found for myself."

Raoul closed his eyes and shook his head sadly. "You were in love with him all along, weren't you?"

"I..." Oh, this would surely hurt him, but it could not be helped. "Yes. I think I have always been in love with him...from the time I was a child and first heard my angel speak to me, comfort me and sing to me."

His eyes snapped open and he pulled away from her touch. "He lied to you, Christine."

Christine sighed, closing her eyes. "I know…and I lied to myself."

And to you.

"I knew my feelings for Erik went deeper than any childish fantasy should have. When I thought him an angel, I wanted him to be real. I wanted him to be flesh and blood so I could love him as I'd dreamed."

And it was true. Christine had spent countless nights imagining that her angel would willingly fall from heaven to be with her. She'd wanted to see him...to touch him. She couldn't have known how close to the truth her fantasies had been. Erik truly was her fallen angel. Drawing a steadying breath, she went on. "But when I finally knew he was a man, it was nothing like I imagined. I was afraid." She looked into Raoul's eyes and smiled sadly. "My childish dreams were of men like...you, and you happened to come back into my life at the worst possible time, I think."

Just as all her dreams were coming to fruition. Raoul had noticed her only when Erik had placed her at center stage, and his jealousy had set everything into motion. As a child, Christine had always imagined that her heart would choose a man who was kind, and gentle...and yes, shallow child that she was, he would be handsome. Erik had been hard and angry, and his dark temper had terrified her, even before she'd known him capable of murder. Was it any wonder that her fear had driven her into Raoul's waiting arms?

Christine continued on, determined to make this confession. "I was not yet strong enough give Erik my heart, or to begin to heal his pain. So I pledged myself to you instead, knowing you would keep me safe."

Raoul drew a ragged breath, pain reflected in his eyes. "Did you...ever love me?"

Christine determinedly took his hand again. "Yes. I did, Raoul." She had told him this once before, but she'd had so many secrets still to keep that perhaps she'd chosen her words too carefully. "I loved you as my friend, and as my protector, and I honestly believed that I could love you as my husband. But, in the end, I knew it would never be enough. I would have forever been thinking of Erik, and you deserve so much more than to have to share your wife's heart with another."

She saw him grimace at the mention of Erik's name, "Why did you not just tell me all of this before? Why sneak off into the night with him without even a goodbye?"

Christine raised a brow, "Need you really ask that? Erik is a wanted man in France. Could you have really...wished us well and let us go?"

Raoul dropped his head slightly and rubbed a weary hand over his brow before sighing and meeting Christine's eyes again. "I suppose at the time I would not have been very cooperative, but I have only ever wanted you to be happy, Christine. If he makes you so…"

Sweet relief coursed through Christine at Raoul's words, and she smiled widely, squeezing his hand. "He does. If you could only see Erik as I do, I know you would understand. We belong together, Raoul."

He smiled a little, his eyes dropping to her middle. "So I see. When is the child due?"

Christine did not even think what her next words would reveal. "Only another month or so."

Raoul's smile dimmed, his tone slightly accusing. "So...you and your husband were not exactly alone when you left Paris."

Christine's posture grew defensive. She would not be ashamed of what she and Erik had made between them. "No. We were not, and I have no regrets."

Censure flashed in his eyes for a moment before he stood and paced to the window. Yet his next words were full of thoughtful contemplation. "I suppose this would be what has taken Meg and her mother so determinedly away from Paris…and why they could never say for certain when they would return."

Ah, yes…Meg.

Christine was still uncertain what to think of the day's events. As shaken as she had been at seeing Raoul again, she had been even more shaken to realize that he had come in pursuit of Meg.

And this is what she has been hiding from me.

Every word her friend had spoken suddenly seemed to take on new meaning, as did the way Meg had determinedly avoided meeting Christine's eyes when they had spoken of Raoul.

Meg said that he was in love…dear lord, she meant with her. And she doubts his feelings.

The need to know the truth overwhelmed her, and she chose the question that was certain to elicit an unguarded response. "Did you really think Meg had eloped with...what was his name again?"

Raoul whirled around and growled, "Ranier! Jean Ranier. And if you knew him as I do, you would understand my concern."

Christine sat back into the sofa, surprised at the vehemence of Raoul's voice and the jealousy flashing in his eyes, though she should not have been, as apparently that was the reason for his very presence here. Christine did not know every detail of what had passed between Meg and Jean Ranier, but she did know that Ranier had been relentlessly pursuing her friend and Meg repeatedly refusing him. Sighing, Christine admitted, "Actually, Meg has told me quite a bit about him." She smiled slightly, "It seems he reminds her a bit of Erik."

Her words did nothing to calm his temper. "Meg has a very poor opinion of your husband then."

Christine smiled more fully, "Actually, Meg and Erik are quite fond of one another."

Raoul's face grew darker, a tone of sarcasm coloring his words that Christine had not known him capable of. "Well isn't that just lovely for them! With Meg's appreciation for scoundrels, I am certain they would have had a grand romance if you hadn't gotten to him first."

Christine gasped in stunned disbelief, "My God! I do not think I have ever seen you seethe with jealousy before!"

Not even when I broke our engagement.

"I am not seething."

Yes, my dear, sweet friend…you most certainly are.

Christine felt her lips curve once again, "I notice that you didn't say that you are not jealous. You are in love with Meg, aren't you?"

The anger and jealousy drained from Raoul's face as he sank back to the sofa again. His eyes were filled with such longing it nearly made Christine's heart ache. "Yes. I am."

And Meg is in love with Raoul. Yet she cleverly evaded the truth with every carefully chosen word.

"She told me you had found someone, but she did not tell me it was her."

He looked at her with curiosity, "Does it bother you?"

Christine drew a breath, "I...don't know. I confess that it did bother me to realize you had come chasing her across France and into England, but I am not certain why. I have no romantic claim on you, nor do I want one again." She knew her words were truth. She did not love Raoul in that way. "I want you to be happy. I want Meg to be happy."

Raoul silently looked to the floor. After a moment, he asked, "You…said she didn't tell you…about my feelings for her?"

He sounded so hurt at the thought of being denied by Meg, Christine could hardly bear to confirm it. Yet she had no other choice. "No. She did not."

He sighed raggedly again, raking a hand through his hair. "She doesn't believe me, Christine. She thinks I am still in love with you, and I fear my being here now has only made it worse."

An awful feeling of dread began to crawl through her blood. Christine hesitated, unable to keep herself from asking the question that could bring this tentative peace crashing down on them all.

"Are you still in love with me?"

A/N: Yes...Meg and Raoul have gotten...close...since Christine left. Meg had been putting off telling Christine about this for fear that it would upset her. (Really...not telling probably made it worse.) Jean Ranier...the determined cad...well let's just say he somewhat takes the Erik role in the RM relationship (or perhaps the Raoul role in the EC relationship is more apt,) though Meg's heart has been won by our heroic fop...er...Vicomte. Obviously...this means that Raoul does not like Jean Ranier at all.