BAKUMATSU'S BEST ROMANCE NOVEL Chapter 23: A shadow that lives for lust, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

Bakumastu's Best Romance Novel.

--Fhb

--R- contains suggestive material and contains some 'stuff'

Chapter 23 —A shadow that lives for lust

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BATTOUSAI's INSANITY: POINT OF NO RETURN

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No man can feel what I feel.

No man can see what I see.

None has ever been scarred the way I have.

Locked deep inside the folds of my soul, I begged to live, I begged to be free---I begged and begged only to be ignored and shut off into this hollow darkness I call the calm of Battousai's insanity.

Finally awoken from my long slumber, I rise with nothing but hate and bitterness in my soul. Numb from everything that has happened from the day my parents died to the point in my life I see the woman who said she loved me, brings me to sweet madness, a madness which I has corrupted over and over.

Tired that I should have to live inside a man who holds a blade of life and death, I burst free of having the scent of freedom alas mine. Now, I can do the very thing I wanted to do the first day I saw her…

A thing so daring, her dear Kenshin would never do. If it's one thing a woman likes—is a man who can:

Touch her with black lust…in places she thought heaven could never be received...a place I am willing to take her with or without her permission.

He grinned.

Sunrays filtered through the window into the small room, where Kaoru sat completely spell bound. Her back aching, her eyes even more of the hurting, just seem to stare off into the distance. The disbelief never leaving her but instead destroying her. Another tear slowly falls down her rosy pink cheek. Taking a sharp gasp of air, she bowed her head defeated and lost.

Flash back: "I surrender…I surrender Himu-raaahhhhhh." Blood. It was everywhere. On his face, on his blade, in his eyes- in his heart. Mercilessly he beat the destroyed man until the man was eventually out cold. Blood…its everywhere.

"May I speak to you?"

Kaoru jumped at the sound of the voice vibrating through the shoji. Wiping her face dry from her tears, she sucked in a small breath of air.

Shutting her eyes, "You may enter," she answered softly.

A young woman entered, taking a glance at the young girl who sat on the floor who seemed distressed. Ninsuko silently shut the door, whispering an incoherent pray of hope.

Kaoru heard the shoji close. Kaoru breathed calmly wishing she wouldn't have to speak right now. Right now she wanted to cry over what she called her so called beloved. Cry at how he broke her heart.

"You cried" she spoke softly

Kaoru furrowed her brows. "I always cry" she meekly said, her voice breaking.

"Oh Kaoru-chan" Ninsuko started "I'm so sorry…"

Kaoru took a deeper breath for air. "It doesn't hurt me he lost himself in what he was doing…" she paused to bow her head in damnation.

"It hurts" she cried, her shoulders trembling from her pain. "Tha-that he never listened to me. And he knew what my heart was all about…" she reopened her eyes. Anger filling them with great force. "He knew Ninsuko" she looked up.

"He knew" she whispered softly, "that if he battled" she breathed, "I would be there—because I loved him. And he didn't listen" she swallowed, the tears falling down on their own accord.

"Why Ninsuko—am I such a failure to him?" she asked, covering her face and crying everything that had been building deep inside of her.

"Oh Kaoru-chan" Ninsuko leaned forward, collecting Kaoru in her arms. "Don't cry…don't" Ninsuko rubbed her back.

"I loved him Ninsuko…" she groaned in pain, "I love a man who didn't know himself—I loved him and for once I saw what I did, was love a shadow of what I thought I saw to be a man" she cried, burying her face in her best friend arms.

"She's. Not speaking Katsura-sama" Ninsuko addressed the man of high rank in her midst.

'Damn' thought Katsura. 'Me and my wise thinking,' thought Katsura to himself.

"What is she doing?" he asked, giving her a look of interest.

Ninsuko for a moment seem uncomfortable answering the question at first, her eyes moving uneasily from left to right.

"Ninsuko-san." He spoke deeply.

Trembling just from the brusque pronunciation of her name, she swallowed the lump.

"Hai Katsura-sama," She looked up into his face.

"What is my daughter doing?" He asked, his eye-brows knotting in worry.

Ninsuko opened her mouth to speak but not a word came out. "She" Spoke Ninsuko.

"She, looks at her mirror and comb her hair – she lies on her bed, her eyes taking in the scene Himura-san burned on her memory. She tortures herself Katsura-sama…she tortures herself…" Ninsuko admittedly spoke.

Katsura hissed silently, his eyes turning a worn shade of dark brown.

'My dearest koishii, why do you cry so much?'

News didn't take too long to travel throughout the Inn - that Kaoru went into a complete quiet mode. A mode nobody had ever seen. It was particularly strange how the Inn, seem to be very quiet while on the contrary, was usually filled with more life thanks to a certain missy.

People walked pass in their groups watching as the Battousai walked through the crowd bravely. His eyes were now a foreign shade of gold. Burning like the depths of all seven hells, his eyes burned through the crowd seeking to find the faces of one, his frisky little mate or two, her beaten up partner in crime. Whichever one he saw he was ready for.

Whispers circulated the Battousai. Fully aware of the rotten things they said on his behalf.

"I heard Kaoru-chan is devastated" came a whisper

"What a jerk he is to do such a thing" another whisper traveled.

Generally he got the picture of where this was going, but damn did it feel good. Good to teach her a listen - that when you break the Battousai's heart, he break's yours.

When Battousai, and he corrects himself again, Battousai, got right down to it, he was alive, he never did anything to hurt her, yet there was pain inside his soul. His heart screamed inside with pride to not be used. And now it's a sticky situation one in which she cried to, yet, he will never wipe away her tears, once she feels, then he's alive.

'Yes Kaoru. Cry your pretty blue eyes out, feel all the pain in the world. Taste the sweet madness of my insanity. Taste part of me you little insufferable thorn. You said you loved me—loved me and you betrayed me. Betrayed me for a nothing. You, my pretty little sunflower will feel all the pains, all the thorns, all the scars and burns and tears a hitokiri could ever feel with just one stare into my eyes. I'm tired…tired of living inside myself, its time I showed you who the real Battousai is, why they announced manslayer, why I am a bastard—why I am truly what I am--- your lovely, salacious disease'

Standing to the bottom of the step Ninsuko stood grimly, her hands folded neatly across her chest. She browsed the cold-eyed assassin with putrid anger and contempt.

"Himura-san." She spoke respectfully.

He browsed his eyes of coldness and dead life at her face. "What?" came a voice she never heard. Deep, devouring, and devoid of any emotion, his voice felt like a cold winter.

Ninsuko took a minute to involuntarily shiver. It was something she couldn't help. Those eyes, full of immoral thoughts and deeds, beacon, 'move away before you die,' and his voice - like a storm at sea, it battled your senses until you were left standing like mush.

"Cat got your tongue?" He asked.

And what was this, sarcasm of the Battousai!

Swallowing the thick lump in her throat, she kept her eyes low, sparing herself from his dreadful gaze. "You hurt Kaoru-chan" she spoke softly. As if she herself was not affected, when deeply she was crushed to even spare a mere look at her best friend.

"Am I supposed to care?" was his wintry reply. Nothing could be colder than the way he responded. His speech was cruel, his eyes even more of the beast that lay in her path.

She snapped her head to give him an incredulous, unbelievable look. 'What. What did he just say?' Not even sure if her imagination was playing tricks on her she spoke aloud.

"What?" it flew out her mouth.

"Hmph," he snorted, "I rather die than to feel emotion for that twit" he added back dreadfully cold.

Ninsuko's under lip shivered, and before she knew it, she involuntarily stepped back, her eyes wide in shock.

"B-But…she, she loves you" she ended softly, her eyes welling in tears.

"Hmph" Battousai huffed, "lets just say she's better to taste than to admire…" he smirked. "Can't a man just use a woman into what he wants these days?" he paused to broaden his lecherous smirk, "I think he can, and I think I did"

"How could you?" she winced at the thought of Kaoru being crushed at this news.

"How could I do what?" came his inert reply.

"How could you be so cruel?" she started off with fright in her voice. "How could you be such a monster to her?" she grabbed his gi slamming her fists into his chest.

"You bastard you betrayed her…you betrayed her" she screamed, her puny hands slamming down into his sturdy chest.

His eyes went into silver slits. 'How dare she lay her filthy hands on me?'

Grabbing her by her throat, he pushed her against the wall, gritting his teeth in a tight lock. Eyes that resembled a biting serpent, looked back at her with little understanding to her unjustifiable actions.

Immediately a crowd floated around the Battousai. Screams traveled around, as the lost boy choked the young girl soundlessly. His eyes expressing nothing but deft hate. A hate which always could be seen in his heart.

"Ahh-owkk" she gasped for air, her hands beating at his rigid ones. Unwillingly to let her go, he cocked his head to the side, to see her die painfully slow.

"Himura-san," a voice sounded.

Defective to the voice of the young boy, Battousai straightened his grip on her throat, his eyes becoming a deeper shade of amber.

"Please Himura-san, I beg of you, do not kill my Ninsuko-itoshii" Chazu begged for his dear lady's life.

"I would kill because I despise her" spoke sternly the Battousai, his grip becoming loose on the young woman's neck. "Then again I think I just might like seeing her die--" he repositioned his hands on her throat.

Everyone watched on in horror, especially Chazu. How could his friend, the respectful Kenshin become so low, become so smart with himself that he was now hurting young women? How could he? Chazu felt helpless. He knew if he attacked Kenshin, then he as well might be asking for the same torturous death Ninsuko was now withstanding.

"Himura Kenshin, take your hands off of Ninsuko-chan. Now" Spoke the most respected person there.

"Katsura-sama" Chazu whispered in relief.

Kenshin removed his hands, leaving Ninsuko to take one last look at his hateful pair of eyes. Her knees buckled and she went crashing to the floor. Immediately Chazu rushed forward catching Ninsuko in his arms.

Katsura was indeed speechless. His eyes bored a hole into the Battousai's back.

Battousai took to his queue, leaving the scene as it was still raw.

"Himura," Katsura firmly spoke.

Battousai stopped.

"Explain yourself." Katsura drawled.

Battousai laughed to himself. Then to the corners of his mouth, the same smirk climbed back on.

"I answer to no one," He turned to Katsura, his eyes flashing golden slits of terror.

Kaoru placed her yukata on, after taking a long, hot bath. Entering her room silently, she sat in front her huge vertical mirror. Her face destroyed from all the pain of her beloved. Closing her eyes, she sat there replaying the entire event with all its life.

The screams, she swallows deeply when she remembers them. The begging, the bawling---the unmerciful raggedness seem to still make her heart tear apart.

Taking up the silver brush her mother had personally given to her, she dragged it down into the ebony tresses of her silky hair. Bringing her hair down on both shoulders, she combed gracefully.

Eyes of dull blue looked back at her from the mirror. 'Is this my reflection now? Is it?' Sometimes the voice which she had, wanted to come alive and speak. But it was trapped inside her many folds of gutless pain.

Kaoru heard the shoji click. Someone was within her room. She stopped combing. Letting the brush down on the floor, she closed her eyes, wishing she would have her space to breathe.

Standing above her tall, and almost towering her was a man who wore features to kill. Who wore a smirk, like a born King of evil. Approaching her quietly he let his eyes drop on the tear that fell down her cheek.

He smirked.

Stooping down beside her, he called at her name.

"Open your pretty little eyes," came a cold voice, like a draught on her shoulders.

Her eyes fluttered open as they settled on the mirror in front of her. It was…her beloved.

"Why don't you speak to me?" He voiced,

"Isn't that what you want to do…my little, whore" he whispered the explosive word in her ear.

Kaoru gasped. Her eyes in shock. 'What's happening to him? Why is he this way?'

And for the first time, he turn to the mirror, giving her a special preview of his vehement and saturated eyes of blissful lust, and desirous sin in hate. Such eyes of gold were not to be seen, they were different and glowed effervescently with thoughts of one thing, sensual-pain.

"Do you like what you see?" He asked, gritting his teeth when he saw her innocent face look back him with so many questions.

Turning his face to her, Kaoru stopped her breathing. Battousai took this into consideration. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he came to her ear, whispering things she never wanted to know.

"I'll touch you Kaoru," He whispered sensually. His eyes dragging even more sensual over her body.

"But in the so doings, I will hurt you. Hurt you, the way you hurt me…and together in perfect harmony our bodies can be one" he teased in whispers across her ear.

"Weak" he whispered in the other ear,

"Stupid" said he in the other ear.

"Beautifully…sickening" he bit the lobe of her right ear, making her tense at his actions. Licking the lobe, he collected it between his lips. She screwed her eyes shut.

"Open your eyes, my little whore" he spoke icily cold against her neck. Trailing his perverse eyes up and down her drawing skin, he grinned. A wet line went trailing down her jaw, dragging down to the base of her throat. He licked the hollow, twirling his tongue in circles across the stubborn skin. Pushing his hands against her shoulder, his deft thumbs found their way on her yukata. Pulling it down, Battousai found himself being mesmerized by her distracting flesh. He gritted his teeth from not just tearing her apart and taking her madly.

Kaoru's eyes opened at his daring actions.

"Like what you see, like what you've done?" He paused to see into her eyes, "answer me" he spoke firmly.

She didn't answer him.

"I said" he gritted his teeth, "ans-er me" he took a fist of her hair in his hand pulling her face to his. Kaoru now groaned at the pain in her head and at her crazy boyfriend. Pain etched on her face like fine art, Battousai found this most interesting, most beautiful of her. Pulling her head back further, she cried for him to stop. Instead, he cocked his head to the side.

Why did it look so beautiful so see her in such pain? To see her so needy…so hungry, to have – 'Ahh' thought the Battousai…

Dragging his finger-tips against her cheek dreadfully slow, he rubbed on her bottom lip, before looking at them with intense passion. Glancing her one look in the eyes that were now filled with tears, he shut his eyes and crushed her lips against his. Opening his mouth wide over hers, in a desperate attempt to have her hurting and in lust - he took her lips unwillingly, licking her lips greedily and ravishingly.

Burying his lips against hers for a tense twenty seconds, he pulled back, pushing her away rudely and raw. Taking a deep gasp of air, he breathed the air of nirvana. Wiping his lips with the back of his palm, he stared back into her face, sensuously blinking his left eye and dragging his tongue across his lips.

"You taste," He licked his lips vulgarly, "like dirt"

Kaoru lied against the floor, watching him leave her room, silently as if it never happened.

Feeling defiled, exposed and left hollow from what he did to her. Part of Kaoru screamed at his indecent actions…while part of her did something different.

Part of her, was actually aching for him…aching sensuously…

An: Yup yup yup! I did a somewhat – i-interesting chapter. I'm not sure if that's the word I want to use. But you get the general picture. This chapter was a chapter which I wanted to write, so I got cracking on it. I'm not sure if I'll be updating this fanfiction for a while. A reminder to everyone who doesn't know, I will not be on for a month, I am going on a vacation to Miami. That however should not stop the new participants from joining the fanfiction competition or anything. I'll be back to finish up anything that I haven't. I wanted to do more work, but I have to pack, practice for my Valedictorian speech since Grads is on Wed. and get everything mom asks for. So that's a bust!

Onto the story, this is Battousai. The real one that never got his way, but finally gets it. Ain't he macho and rude? Anyways, I am sorry if you don't like the way I portray this Battousai, he's actually not anything Nubuiro would have done. I guess I just like playing up with 'em. So don't be too hard on me. I apologize for any rude intones.

Well I love everyone who reviewed my last chapter. Oh gosh I do! Thank you, you people SO ROCK!

Woow, I could go on and on, but then you'd hate me. So to spare ourselves the grief, just wanna give everyone a big (hug) and thank you! Everyone wins the thank you award!

So love up, live up, bless up and be sweet! Spread it to your friends and the nations around the world. If everyone loved a little more, the world would spin everyday with a smile! I know I sound like five, but I'm a kid always!

Please review my beautiful people