Disclaimer: don't own it, you know the drill
Thankyou to TweetyPie82, woody27 and speedfanatic for reviewing, i send you a big hug.
I would just like to say that this may be my last chapter, because school's started and it took me 10 weeks to post this chapter, ( i'm on holidays again now, yay!) But if you guys want another chapter, i'll see what i can do! I hope you like this chapter, i went a bit silly writing it, i think i was losing my mind, so my apologies for the bits that just drag on for ages about nothing in particular, enjoy!
Chapter 4
Okay that was exaggeration, it wasn't a giant Pokemon, because Master Horatio doesn't like Pokemon, and besides Ash couldn't come in and catch em all . So I decided something more scientific… A GIANT AMIBA LOOMED OVER THE TOWN!
Once again Calleigh, Delko, Horatio and Speed all spoke in unison " Fudge nuts"
What was going to happen? They had defeated Darth Vader, the Evil Mutated Octopus, but was this it? Would the Giant Amoeba get the better of them? Would the Miami team's mean of destruction seem somewhat superfluous now?
The Giant Amoeba began to sort of hover towards them. People were running around screaming, not even the entire cast and crew could save the world as the were engulfed by the monster as he hovered through them.
This was it, it was the end of the world as we know it. ( sorry R.E.M moment there) The amoeba was going to destroy them all. BUT WAIT! You know this story, some one from another TV show is going to jump out and save the day. Well not this time because Horatio had a plan.
Horatio " I have a plan"
The team nodded
" We all transform ourselves into gi-normous pickles and take on the Giant Amoeba head to head"
Calleigh looked thoughtful, Speed was puzzled, and Delko was doing an impersonation of Zoolander, but Speedle voiced his confusion " How are we going to turn ourselves into pickles?"
Horatio reached into his, smooth and sleek grey suit and pulled out… a PICKLISER! So with that Horatio transformed himself in to a pickle then proceeded to transform Delko, Speed and Calleigh. The four of them looked at each other, oh yeah, they looked hot, but they couldn't gloat about their appearances for long, because they had a job to do. They began to sing their pickle theme tune to get them pumped. ( has the same tune as Toto's "Hold the Line")
Pickle Time ( do do do do)
We're gonna fight all the crime (woh woh woh)
Pickle Time ( do do do do)
We'll never end up as chyme ( apparently, according to the rhyming dictionary, chyme is undigested food in the stomach)
Woh woh woh
THEN… they stood there for awhile clicking their fingers and humming the Fairly Odd Parents theme tune." Okey Doke, what do we do now?" Calleigh asked
Horatio struck a pose, slowly put on his glasses " Newsflashpause we are going to destroy all evil" Then he slowly took his glasses off.
At the same time Greg was admiring his new pickle form and began break dancing.
Speed " Greg what are you doing as a pickle? You're not even supposed to be in this story"
Greg replied simply " That hole of a hole Jesse McCartney walked into my lab, man he's a dick head"
Delko seemed confused " I thought we killed Jesse McCartney off in chapter 3, or did we?"
But in that exact moment Jesse McCartney zoomed in on rocket boots and flew over to Greg and said " Who do you think you are? You have a perceived arrogance"
Greg was appalled and fired back with " perceived arrogance? What would you know you arsehole? Get a job you actor, get a real job" Sanders then reached into his lab coat, pulled out a grenade and threw it at McCartney. In turn Jesse blew up into a trillion pieces Greg started to do the Mr Bean dance in celebration until he saw Horatio and his glasses. Yup crazy but true, Greg was an obsessed fan " OH MY GOD! Your glasses! Do you have more than one pair of glasses? Do you wash your glasses? You dry clean your glasses don't you? Do the glasses have a name? Do they smell sometimes?" Greg cried out in hysteria, then continued " Have you ever had sex in the glasses?"
Horatio felt some what sad inside, knowing that he has only had sex once and that was with a rabbit, but he didn't let that show, " Why are we going on about the bloody glasses?"
Greg replied with " Well I was actually hoping the glasses would be the star of the story instead of you"
Horatio was offended but couldn't think of a comeback, thankfully Calleigh interrupted him " Can we get on with the story now? The stupid writer has been drabbling on about crap for the last ages now."
So I reply with " Yeah sorry about that, I've been watching the news, so my mind's been wandering. Ooh yeah, seeing I've just added myself into the story, I'd just like to say that WIN television has stopped airing the last season of Frasier just because of Australian Idol, ooh, I swear, so annoyed, if I see the guy who made that decision, on the street, ooh, matey, you got it in."
Alright, back to the story, Horatio, Speed, Delko, Calleigh and now Greg, all in pickle form, faced the Giant Amoeba, until Speed voiced a question that made some sense, " What do amoebas actually do?"
A light bulb flashed above Horatio's head "According to my calculations an amoeba is a microscopic one celled animal consisting of a naked mass of protoplasm. Amoebas constantly change shape as it moves and engulfs food."
" How the hell did you know that?" Calleigh asked
" I found it in the dictionary"
"Oh"
" Yeah"
" Mmm"
While Horatio and Calleigh were mmm-ing and yeah-ing each other Greggo was getting rather annoyed " Can we please hurry up and blow this thing to pieces?"
" With what" said Speed?
Greg shrugged.
Meanwhile the Giant Amoeba had fallen asleep from complete boredom while he was waiting for the Miami team to attack him. Just to stir things up Eddie Ifft started to bake a pavlova while singing The Hot Dog Man. Moving past that little insignificant event, Delko figured out how to destroy the Giant Amoeba " let's just shove 40 pounds of dynamite up his ass and see if that does the trick"
Everyone shrugged and nodded in agreement, but Master Horatio had a query
" How are we going to get 40 pounds of dynamite?"
Greg reached into his lab coat and pulled out the correct amount of dynamite while no one seemed unnerved that he had so many explosives in his pocket. Moving on, they snuck up to the sleeping amoeba, but Speed stopped dead in his tracks
" Where's his bum?"
Ooh, that's bad isn't it, we've hit a slight bump in the road, but don't you worry because it's not the end for the Miami team. Yes it's true, this is the last monster that needs defeating so I had to bring out the big guns…
Christopher Eccleston (sp?) and Billie Piper (sp?) zoomed in, in the Tardis, yes they're here, Dr Who and Rose had come in to save the day, they imitated that final kiss between the two of them that they shared on that final episode with Chris as the Doctor (ooh, sad time) aaaannnny way, to cut this short story even shorter the Giant Amoeba melted from the heated sparks coming off the Doctor and Rose's kiss, and plus the stage lights were quite hot as well, so that aided in the destruction, but anyway, THE GIANT AMOEBA WAS DEAD!
Well it had been a long day for Horatio and his team, they had destroyed Darth Vader, the Evil Mutated Octopus and the Giant Amoeba, and really, I can't believe this all started from Kermit the Frog. Just then, all of a sudden, in one instant, at the spur of the moment, in a flash, or a strike of lightning, right then all of the characters returned to the scene, including Timmy, Cosmo, Kermit, Darth Vader, wow and even the sparrow that poohed on Horatio's Hummer turned up. Heck even Sponge bob and Patrick showed up, even though they weren't in the story.
Well, this is it, the final scene of this story, and I have to end this story in the only way I know… in song. Just so you know the story was going to end with the Dukes of Hazzard der ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner, but that's kind of hard to sing so I'll end it in fashion with Weird Al's The White Stuff
Master Horatio, Speedle, Delko, Calleigh and Ryan: The white stuff, the white stuff
Darth Vader: The first one was a sweet one
Evil Mutated Octopus: Second one was a blast
Giant Amoeba: Soon I finished off the bag, ate 'em up real fast
Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy: You can see 'em in my teeth
Hilary Duff: Tell it when I talk
Wanda, Cosmo and Timmy: Had so many my pancreas just went into shock
Ross Noble: I love the white stuff, baby
Grissom: In the middle of an Oreo
Peter Griffin: I love the white stuff, baby
Sponge bob and Patrick: It's the most delicious thing I know
Wham: I've had a zillion or two
The cast of Friends: In my life, they're so right
The Doctor and Rose: My teeth are all rotted clear through
Greg: But who cares?
Master Horatio: What else am I supposed to do?
Everybody: Oh OH OH-OH-Oh, Oh Oreo
Oh OH OH-OH-Oh,
Horatio: the white stuff
Everybody: Oh OH OH-OH-Oh, Oh Oreo
What's in the middle?
Horatio: The white stuff
Ninja Turtles: The first time that I tried it
Hugh Grant: Got a big sugar buzz
Bert and Ernie: Nothing gets me high as that sandwich cookie does
The Cookie Monster: But I love the filling most
Big Bird and the Snuffelufflegus (spelling's wrong, I know)I rub it on my roast
Atomic Betty: Mix it in with my coffee and spread it on my toast
The Saddle Club: I love the white stuff, baby
Jesse McCartney: In the middle of an Oreo
Eddie Ifft: I love the white stuff, baby
(I'm out of characters now, so I'm adding in some more!)
The Beatles: Take some with me everywhere I go
Aladdin, Jasmine, Abu and Genie: Might get a pimple or two
Vicky Pollard, Lou and Andy: Well, so what? It's all right
Ash, Misty, Brock, Pikachu, Team Rocket and Meowth: Now Twinkies and Ding Dongs won't do
(Big ending) Michael Jackson, the Whitlams, Jimmy Eat World, The Living End, Tripod, Weird Al Yankovic, Benny and Joon, Bernard Fran and Manny, The Comedy Inc Cast, Dave Hughes Wil Anderson and Corrine Grant, and Hi-5: All I need ….
Horatio: You know what it is
Everybody: Oh OH OH-OH-Oh, Oh Oreo
Oh OH OH-OH-Oh,
Horatio: the white stuff
Everybody: Oh OH OH-OH-Oh, Oh Oreo
Oh OH OH-OH-Oh,
Horatio: the white stuff
Everybody: Oh OH OH-OH-Oh, Oh Oreo
What's in the middle?
Horatio: The white stuff
I know you want to, click that little review button, tell me what you had for breakfast if you can't think of what to write, just review! And you never know, i might write another chapter, depends if you guys really want another one. But thankyou to everyone who read this story, and bigger thanks to those of you who reviewed, means a lot to me.