Bakumastu's Best Romance Novel.
--Fhb
--R- contains suggestive material and contains some 'stuff'
Chapter 25 — Tasting the sins of Battousai
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Kaoru stood on the porch, looking out for him.
It's been the second day and he still isn't home, she thought. The sky was already dark and it was already getting late. Still wearing the face of concern and the eyes of softness for him, she nestled a hand over her heart. She waited for him, patiently and unfazed.
The cold breeze of the afternoon rushed upon her skin, shivers running down her spine in there tens. Kaoru held herself feeling the night approaching swifter and swifter. The sounds of laughing people in the room could be heard. It was already supper and many of the men gathered, eating and feasting without their friend.
Kaoru could not bare the thought of eating without Kenshin. He was perhaps cold and shivering in the lonely streets, almost immediately Kaoru began feeling sad again. Hope that was there, seem to almost blow out on her when she thinks of him. She wanted with everything in her heart for Kenshin to be here and alright. The thought of him elsewhere, under a black sky, full of many enemies worried her. It was then she remembered Kenshin was not really Kenshin, he was in fact, Battousai – the thing had proven to everyone solemnly.
Almost immediately a shiver ran down her spine and she felt the way he touched her. The way he tasted her.
'No no no, stop thinking of it Kaoru'
But she couldn't.
The thought of his eyes and lips against her, made her shudder.
Caught in a daze of her thoughts, Kaoru didn't seem to recognize the eyes coming toward her.
Golden eyes sparkled in the darkness. The darkness that was very much part of him.
His feet dragged against the stones and silt as he made his way toward the platform Kaoru was standing on.
To Kaoru, she could hear noises, shaking her head she stared back at Kenshin who like her, was holding the same gaze.
Cold eyes stared into her soft blues. Almost ruthlessly his face stiffened, looking away from her.
Kaoru's eyes followed him as he past her without a word, a reason to spare. Everything he did, contributed to her sadness, her pain.
"Are you alright? I—I was scared you wouldn't, wouldn't come home" she said in a concerned voice.
"What's it to you onna?" he asked stopping in his tracks, turning to her he said, "nothing. It means nothing to you."
Kaoru hurtfully looked back at him, completely affected by his words. "Why are so cold Kenshin?" she asked, her face swelling in a red shade of hurt.
"How many times do I have to tell you why? How many? A hundred? To make it clear for those deaf ears of yours, I am the Battousai. It's in my nature. Love it or hate it, I don't care" he walked off.
Kaoru, very upset and perturbed by his words, swallowed the thick lump in her throat.
"You once said..you wouldn't want to be called that. Why do you call yourself that?" she asked, following him up the stairs.
"Boy! I must have not known what I was saying 'coz damn, I feel good to be bad" he walked up the stairs, coming to the hall.
"Good? Let me ask you, doesn't it bother you, that you hurt people, that you're actually cared for?" she asked.
He didn't pay attention to her. He simply walked pass, not giving a damn.
"Kenshin, don't walk away when I'm speaking to you" she ordered in a crispy voice.
"As if I'll ever listen to one possible word you'd ever say to me" he entered his room shutting it on her face.
Kaoru stood there, anger steaming from within. 'Aghh! No manners, no discipline. He is a completely arrogant man.' She clenched her fists, feeling them ball in deep anger. Fed-up of his nonsense, of all his so-called ruthlessness, Kaoru stomped her feet in finality. She would no longer take on this bickering and mindless grievance. Opening the shoji without permission, her eyes sort into the darkness.
"We need to talk" came her reply that was boldly said as her actions were.
"Get out!" came that reply she know would come.
"I need you to understand something that I did not" "I need not hear you onna" he interjected her sentence.
"All you ever do is lie. I know you Kaoru. I know that behind your innocent mask is a clever serpent. I have seen with awaking eyes your true face and no façade can fool me onna. No way, that it can not!" he informed.
"Your words are all wrong. You didn't even listen to me but you're saying lies, what do you think you know Kenshin? Well I'll tell you, nothing. You don't even know the truth and I wish you could stop acting like five and listen to me, one on one" she aggressively said.
"You think you are wise onna. With your right face you would show your father and the Ishin, you are a meek pacifist, but with your left face you would show me your true colours, the colours of a serpent. You have nothing but faults in front of me and you're made up of nothing but lies. You would wish so much I could listen to you, but if I do, you'd supplant me in your sentimental garbage. Should I truly listen to you talk when it is truly the hissing of a snake?" he said, staring back at her hatefully.
Kaoru said nothing. Her mouth opened, and slowly it closed. Tears, from no where came to her eyes as they leaked with freedom.
"Why are you so blind Kenshin. Why?" she asked, "everything I try to do is to help you. Everything I am is because of you. Then see this, everything you are, begins to destroy me. Everything bad you do, breaks and tears me. Please, just please, stop it, and for one last time listen to me" she begged, sharply inhaling the breaths of air.
Battousai kept grim and unfazed.
Walking toward his curtain he lingered there, his back facing her.
For a minute he let her cry, letting her get everything out.
Kaoru kept watch of him, her heart though in love, felt like ripping to shreds. The things love do to people was amazing and Kaoru saw that in every relationship, most would be endured with trails. But her trails with Kenshin were bending in such positions, Kaoru began having realizations that her relationship with Kenshin, would not last.
Feeling the realization like shocks across her skin, Kaoru held herself tightly, reassuring her breaking heart it was okay to cry from the man she loved. But his soul and stature, it never budged the way hers did. He felt nothing for her and she was certain asking him to kill her would be done without any hesitation. Feeling like the earth pulled from beneath her, Kaoru cradled herself before breathing erratically to herself.
Walking forward.
Her eyes hazed with tears as she felt the pain for him.
"Kenshin…" she called in a muffled voice…
He didn't want to hear her.
"Get out my room" he ordered.
"Kenshin" she called again, in a softer voice.
"Now!" he said harsher.
"Ken..shin" she said one last time.
"I order you to get the hell out my room" he screamed.
No response.
"Are you listening to me onna?" he asked, not sure why she didn't call his name. For a few seconds he heard nothing but silence. What was she doing? He thought to himself. Then to his amazement, she leaned forward, placing her arms around his waist, holding him strongly to her.
"Onnnaa" he began in a dark, angry voice.
Then he felt her pull him.
Straight to the floor he collapsed.
He looked up at her angrily as she stood over him with eyes of delirium and lost hope.
Falling to her knees almost dementedly, Kaoru could second guess he would slap her or get up, whichever, she knew it was coming. Instead, she leaned forward, pushing him to the floor, resting on his stomach, looking down into his eyes.
"ONN" she placed a hand over his hot mouth.
"I love you" she whispered, "and not Seto. And please my darling, I would gladly show you that I love you more than anything" She saw the shock on his face. Taking his sword, he held it back from her. Her eyes rested on his as she tried to show him it was okay. He let go of the blade. Unsheathing its long silver blade, she breathed in deeply before closing her eyes and bringing it to her throat.
"Kill me" simple words said sounded like thunders from the heaven.
His eyes enlarged. 'What the hell'
She pressed the blade against her throat, where the tip of the blade touched her skin, causing a thin line of blood to fall. It was then he felt a shock rip throughout him. Alas he could not see his fear come alive. Her death. Her blood made him tremble and quake with anger all at the same time. Feeling weak, Battousai held the blade from her. Throwing his blade to the floor, he opened his mouth to start all his hateful words and angry sentences. All the anger for her careless actions.
Holding down his mouth again, Kaoru weakly smiled.
"I truly do love you Kenshin, in any form you come"
Leaning forward, she slowly released her hand from his mouth. Placing her lips against his, she tasted the Battousai and all his sins.
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He opened her door, seeking the body that lay on the futon. He could hear her soft breathing in the silent room. Amber eyes flashed gold when he remembered her words. Entering the room proudly, he went to her side. Shaking her from her slumber, Kaoru groaned.
"J-Just five more minutes…" she snored…
Kenshin shook her again, making sure her eyes opened to see him.
Kaoru turned around, fluttering her pretty eyes at the man in front of her.
"Kenshin?" she wasn't sure if she was seeing right. Rubbing her eyes, she focused on the man in front of her.
"Kenshin" she called.
"Shhh! Get up" he said.
"What?" she asked
"Get up! I want to tell you something. Not here though" he said.
"Now?" she asked loudly.
"Shh!"
"Now?" she whispered.
"Yes now! So get up onna" he said.
'He kisses me, bites me and even touches me but he still doesn't know my name. Sure Kenshin, just keep going, sooner or later you'll learn what pummeling is' she thought.
"I need to change"
"No time to." He pulled her to her feet.
"Kenshin" she breathed in his name.
He pulled her to her feet.
"Lets go" he said
'This Kenshin is really not romantic. Mental note, remind him romance is important'
Kenshin ran to her window.
"Where are you going?" Kaoru asked.
"Done below"
"Ahh!"
"Come on" he said.
"Hhehhe! You know what, I'll use the stairs" she laughed nervously.
"Onna!" he started the 'woman' talk again.
"Kenshinn" she whined.
"It's just a little jump" he said.
"Little? There is nothing little about that jump, that's very high if you didn't realize. Besides, I don't practice break falls like you martial artists." She smiled.
Kenshin grabbed her, holding her to him.
Holding her, like a baby in his arms, he leaned over her window before jumping below!
Kaoru felt the scream coming to her as they neared the floor. Clutching onto Kenshin a little tighter, he landed softly to the floor, holding his precious carriage to him protectively.
"That wasn't so bad" he said.
Kaoru's face was hidden in his neck, "next time, lets use the step, regardless how urgent" she said.
Kenshin placed her down, attending to the horse that was standing near the bushes. Pulling the reins of the horse to Kaoru's direction, he jumped on, lending Kaoru a hand.
She looked at the horse, then at Kenshin. It was perhaps the middle of the night and she was going for a horse ride. Sure, that just sounds so romantic, but she was so tired.
"Kenshin.." she started.
"Come Kaoru" he whispered her name, almost wanting-like
Now she knew from the look in his eyes and the tone of voice he carried that she could not abandon her love. Taking his hand, he pulled her onto the horse, adjusting her in front of him.
Snapping the reins, the couple was off.
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Under a lonely night like this, two lovers could be seen riding across a beach, being looked down by the millions of shimmering stars. The galloping black stallion carried the lovers far, as they rode across the beach in all their desirous love. The sea breeze, though naturally cold, felt warm, as the world finally began spinning in the way couples should have it. The gentle crashing of the midnight waves, banged against the shore, the foamy waves sweeping upon the shore. The continuous galloping through wet sand, made Kaoru bounce up and down in Kenshin's grasp.
Fleeing past the green turfs and rocky hills, Kenshin led his stallion into a place only he knew about. Pulling the reins back, the wild horse slowed its pace, dying down to a stop. Kenshin got off first, looking up at Kaoru expectantly. Instead, her eyes were cast out at the ocean that was singing to her in its simple symphony.
"Onna" he called.
Kaoru smirked at the name. She knew it'd take some time for him to 'remember' that short, curt name of hers, but for the while she'd let the battle drop. Turning around, she looked at him with gentleness.
"Yes, can I help you man?" she asked, using a smirk of pure evil.
Battousai smirked, 'woman knows how to use my tricks against me.'
"Are you coming down?" he asked, watching the movement of emotion in her eyes.
"Yes I am! Take me down" she said, outstretching her arms for him to hold her.
"Jump" was that curt response, not to mention bold and not expectant.
"Jump? You know what, I'll help myself down" she began wiggling out the saddle.
"Onna, just jump, I'll catch you" he said.
"Are you lying?" she shone innocent eyes.
"Are you calling me a liar?" there was a tone in his voice.
"Now now, no need to get all angry Mr. Cranky pants" she said matter-of-flatly.
"Oh, so now I'm cranky?" Kenshin asked.
"Look, lets not start an argument" she paused, "catch me" she said.
"Who says I wanna catch you?"
Kaoru growled, 'okay he's really getting me ticked off now'
"Kenshin could you stop it already?" she asked
"Fine! Jump" he said.
Kaoru for some apparent reason didn't trust the tempered red-head. Trusting the tiny voice in her head, Kaoru leaned forward, jumping into the samurai's arms. In a quick notion, he caught her, placing her feet to the ground. Kaoru held unto him, looking up at his face. He lowered his head, to meet hers. Soft blue eyes rested on his cold alone, ambers. Holding his gaze, she whispered with a small smile on her face, "I'm sorry"
"Sorry. Sorry for what?" he lowered his baritone voice to a whisper.
"Sorry for judging you." She answered, leaning in on him.
"Hmm. It's okay" he whispered, breaking their contact. Pulling her by the hand to a dry area on the beach, he sat there, his amber eyes coaxing her to sit next to him. She obliged, sitting near to him, with a "safe" space between them. Kaoru could feel there was something that needed to be said, that needed to be done. For some reason, it was this moment that became tentative. That became clouded with tension. Kaoru felt the uneasiness, the way he kept quiet, his eyes remote, looking out into the distance where the sea seem to welcome you like a breath against the face. Kaoru looked at his profile, seeing that the questions he kept were going to come out. Biting her lips, she turned to look at the sea, feeling the breeze caress against her, softly. The breath of saltiness in the air could be tasted. Leaning forward on her propped knees, Kaoru watched the world bloom in its gentleness.
"It's beautiful isn't it?" he finally said, his voice low and not intimidating.
"Yes. It's very beautiful" she answered, keeping her eyes on the crashing waves.
"I have something to tell you, and ask you" he spoke, letting his eyes linger on the sea's black waters.
"What is it? Tell me" she coaxed in a whisper.
"It's about our relationship" he said.
For a moment, the word 'relationship' took a moment to dissolve in the pits of her mind. At first she felt anew that her 'relationship' as he termed it, was once again, bouncing and alive, but a thought again made her realize, that it could be heading for the door since apologies were never really exchanged.
"Wha-what about it?" she asked in question.
He drew a tired sighed at first. His eyes turning to her, looking at her meek form, "its about what happened, and what is now"
She blinked his words back, turning to him, she leaned her head against her knee, "you want to end it, is that it?" it was the only thing that needed to be asked.
Kenshin held her gaze before speaking, "you know, I use to ask myself Kaoru, what you meant to me and I didn't find the answer. At first I thought it was just a distraction, a pleasurable distraction, but then, I began seeing something else. Part of me was confused, I didn't know what you meant to me until I made love to you. I found out then, that you became something that was mine. That no one else could have. You belonged to me and in a sense it felt good to have something besides blood to myself. You wouldn't believe how much you made me different, you changed me and made me live." He paused to smirk, "but that, that didn't last." He said darkly, his voice covered in blades of ice.
Almost immediately, his eyes flashed gold, and became fire blazing with so much life.
"Hate. It burned in me, burned like an eternal fire in my depths. I trusted you and you lied to me. You used me, you taunted me. You kept your distance from me, tucking in Seto-boy just the right way. You may not know what you did, but it became insatiable hellish for me not to feel" he said.
"Kenshin" she breathed, "I don't like him. I know it may seem as if I do, but I don't, trust me" she spoke.
The 'trust' in his sentence became so hard for him, that he sometimes wished he didn't have to hear her speak.
Turning his head from her, "I trusted you Kaoru. I kept you like an angel protected in my arms. To be always. But you didn't see that, you can never see it. I would preserve you from the world before they could ever say one mean thing to you, but then I realized, you were so blind yourself, that you didn't see your actions were taunting me, your so-called Kokoro." He said hastily.
"Kenshin, I know it seems as if I used you and to some point it was wrong of me to lie to you and not tell you that I was simply trying to help Seto" she answered.
"Helping him, to do what Kaoru?" came that heated reply. His brows furrowed.
"Kenshin, maybe you yourself are blind, but I am not. Because when it comes to seeing a man's flaws, his hurt and pain, I see it, it is that, that speaks to me, that begs me to help them. I didn't ask to be a pacifist without some knowledge of not reading a man who cries. Seto, like you, has a story of sadness. I try so hard splitting myself for people and yet they don't understand me and my cause for my actions. Understand me Kenshin Himura, my intentions are usually good and my heart I think so is just as good, but what everyone asks of me and does to me isn't very good for me or my heart. Open your eyes, I, like you, make mistakes so I'm sorry for hurting you and everyone in the so doings. Okay? I'm sorry" she trembled as she felt sadness creeping in again.
"Kaoru, do you know what you are to me?" he asked looking at her face.
She was crying.
"N-No." came her response.
"Right now I look at you as my sheath. I don't think I could look at you as anything else right now." He said.
"So-so, what about our relationship?" she asked a fear panging in her.
He sighed, "War is on our doorstep. Battle wages and many are dying. Men will always go to war and die, leaving behind their most precious trinkets. Part of me wants you to know that I am a soldier of war and that Japan's flag rising for a blood-free nation is my goal. But part of me, sees it indifferently" he whispered.
"What do you mean?" she looked at him
"The 'good-ole-Kenshin' as I call him, is bounded to you. That part of me, feels that you're so precious that it couldn't bare the mere picture of seeing you go away. That its too hard to even be thought of. You know what you call that?" he asked.
"Love?" she asked in a hopeful voice.
"I call it weakness. A man who does not fear, is a man without weakness. But even if I wanted to say as the Battousai, that I had no weakness, I came to realize I do. When you cut your throat tonight and I saw your blood fall, I felt something, something I had never felt. It was a mixed emotion of pain, regret, sorrow. It's a confusing emotion, but it ignited a fear in me. My one fear in this world Kaoru, to the Battousai and to the Kenshin, is your death. If you die…war will be the only thing I will rage." He said…
"S-So, does that say, I mean, well, does that mean, you love me?" she asked, looking up at him expectantly.
"No. That's something I can never tell you. It's true, I can't. No matter how many times you'd beg me, I could never say it. A hitokiri can never say such words, for in a hitokiri's heart, love does not exist. Our mantra of life is simple: live by the blade, die by the blade, there's nothing about love there." He said.
Kaoru shivered, feeling shivers rattle against her skin. Swallowing the lump she turned from him, feeling like crumbling.
"M-My f-father" she whispered tearfully, "he said that you fight for the people, for Japan. That means in your heart there is a form of love for the thing you excel at, killing. You hold the thought of failing as an incomprehensible one, but you hold the thought of living by blade that shall bring peace, dear to your heart, that you nurture that thought with love and preciousness." Kaoru said.
"Love has different meanings" he said.
"Then fine, my version is simple. It means I love you" she turned to him, her eyes filled with water, but dark cobalt blue.
"Why? Why do you love the real assassin, the one that kills without a thought, the one this nation could never tame and the one that will always hurt you?" he asked.
"Because there are some loves in this world that go so deep you can't kill them. You can only do two things, kill yourself or fight for the thing you love. I love you so much Kenshin that I'd accept you in any form. Assassin, demon, my killer…I'd always accept you, because you spread yourself so deep in me and its grown into something that can not die. My love for you is as sincere as a lily that is pure" she whispered.
Battousai's eyes shone in the darkness, though he could feel his stomach contract and expand with funny butterflies, he leaned forward to see in her eyes a truth that shone like a brightly born star on a dark night like this. In awe he kept his amber eyes staring back at her, wondering how he could ever escape the feelings she tied him down with. Repeatedly he felt her words echo in his mind. Over and over they chanted in his mind, to a point he could take no more but shut his eyes and find solace.
Darkness greeted him in all its softness. Still closing his eyes, he saw a light bursting free, there in the blue strong light of his closed eyes, he could make out a face. Her face. Kaoru. Even in his darkness that was always so rich and bold, it seem to finally break with her image.
Opening his eyes, he breathed deeply.
Turning to the her, he stared into her eyes, "Kaoru, I know you would want me to reassure you with all the goodness, but I can't. I can't say sorry, I can't say I love you, all I can do, is bring you hurt. That's it. Now here's my question. If you love me, as you say you do, you can love me, and I'll be there for you, you'll be mine, but I just can't say the words you want me to say. If you don't want to love me then that's your business. Its your choice. Remember I can never love you. I can only bring you pain. Your choice, take it or leave it."
Turmoil, hate, pain, lost, accomplishment, they all played across Kaoru's heart. Her heart was banging again and again with gain and denial. In a way she was winning and losing, being done and undone. His words like knives on her soft skin, ripped and tear at her, soundlessly. She felt every word sink in her like hot fluid, and there was no way to forget the weight of their strength. Impacting her beyond the wits she had, Kaoru, leaned forward, running from him. She couldn't bear to say right now. Part of her was screaming, the other part was dead gone. No emotion in her was stable, she was imbalanced and maybe drowning herself would do the trick.
He was so cold and it hurt her. 'Take it or leave it'
To Kaoru, whatever she did to deserve this, should have never been repaid in punishment this way. She could remember her old Kenshin being so kind and warm with her. Yeah, he like Battousai, wasn't the perfect meek man, but like her Kenshin, he made it distinctively clear, he loved her. In everything touch, in every kiss, in every moment their bodies touched. In all his imperfection, he was perfect to her by claiming her silently in love. A master he was, and she loved that Kenshin. The Kenshin that she loved was gone and she could never have him.
Running forward, into the sea, Kaoru found herself one perfect image of Kenshin. There in her memory's dark walls, Battousai stood, but walking out of him was Kenshin, he was proceeding her, wearing a smile that only she could have. Feeling a smile on her face. Kaoru realized the answer now, was to die. In happiness.
Dropping her knees, Kaoru collapsed into the water. Not breathing, just practically drowning herself. Battousai saw the actions of the woman. Standing to his feet, he ran to the ocean's side, entering the water, he saw Kaoru lying in the water, drowning herself. At first he felt like smacking her, but instead a gaze of amazement came over him. Shaking his head, he pulled her up, dragging her out the water. Anger filled him as he dragged her gruffly out the water. Pushing her against the dry shore, he pumped her lungs from the water. Slowly the water that was in her lungs, escaped her lips. Kaoru focused her eyes on the form in front of her. At first the person's face was hazy but then she saw him.
"Are you an idiot? Are you onna?" he shook her gruffly from the shoulders.
'Why do you even care? You don't love me, you never will'
He kept screaming at her, again and again…and again. The words of coldness would never end. His torture would never end. Kaoru's eyes lit up like stars, as a revelation of truth came over her. 'Whats the point of staying sane for the one I love?'
Tears fell from her eyes in sadness, but in happiness. They fell, and fell, and his words became deaf. No longer could she hear his words but instead she could feel something wild bursting free from inside of her.
"Do you have anything to say onna?" he shouted in her face.
She was quiet, what a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.
She laughed, "hahahhahahah" she laughed.
He leaned back, looking at her incredulously.
She laughed crazily, feeling sadness and happiness beat together as one.
Looking up at him, she laughed so loudly, she twirled out his grasp.
Picking herself up, she looked at him with hate.
"What do you care?" she asked, "you don't. 'Saving me for nothing. You're a dog Kenshin! That's what you are, a rotten dog I tell yuh" she paused, "'Feel you're so mucho to get down so damn hard on me. You don't know nothing of me, you're so cold, you're the bad one here, not me. All I ever tried to do was to make you happy, was to make you live again, but you flicked away every good thing I offered. Is this the way you reimburse me? With bitter words and cold suggestions? Well damn you to hell coz you know what, I don't need this" she coldly offered.
"Oh, I'm sure an insane person like yourself would just know what's right, wow, what mental person doesn't know?" he drew his certain sarcasm.
"You know what, rattle me all you want but I will not be intimidated by you. You have no power against me. All you are is a lost little boy with bad karma, and bad issues. You need help, look at your reflection, it begs it" she shot back.
"Good ahead onna, say all you want, its not like your words have any effect on me" he said broadly.
"You know Kenshin, if you wanted me to call you something, I'd call you this. Battousai." She paused to take a deep breath, "I'd never call you it, but you forced me. How does it feel to have the innocent lover say it? It feels nasty and you know what, I hope it does. 'Coz you deserve it, all of it" she walked away…
"ONNA" he shouted. Anger bubbling in his eyes.
"No, you don't onna me. I have a name. My name is Kogoro Kaoru and you Himura Kenshin, better start calling me my name." She walked off.
"Don't you dare tell me what I should be calling you, I can call you anything I feel" he screamed out.
She turned around, taking a breath of air, "you're right, you can call me anything you want, but here's what you can't call me. A bastard. I never betrayed you Kenshin, I never did, but question is, have you betrayed me? Have you used me? Yes, yes! You have!" she paused to walk forward. "That's the truth"
"Hate it or love it, take it or leave it" she said, her words like spears raking across his skin.
"Aghhh! Onna" he went forward angrily.
"Go ahead, hurt me. Kill me, kill me by the hands of the Battousai. The man who wants to keep me alive. Kill me Battousai, and see how much you truly hate me." She said, offering herself to him with outstretched hands.
Battousai stopped.
"What's the matter?" she asked.
"I can't kill you" was that odd reply.
"Now you figured it!" she said
"I want your answer Kaoru. I have no reason to fight you for your insanities, instead, an answer would do" he said.
"Who in kami's name do you think you are?" she asked gritting her teeth, "you don't feel anything for me and yet you demand such a reply. How rude" she deciphered.
"I feel one thing when I see you. It's not love though" he said…
"Oh, what is it?" she asked
"Hope. Hope…" he said. "When all the lights are blown out, I thought I could have found hope in you, but that's fading isn't it?" he asked.
"Why are teasing me?" she asked.
"I'm not teasing you. It's the truth" he said.
Kaoru came to a quiet halt. 'He feels hope for me?'
And in all her craziness, hope intercepted her thoughts.
"Do you love me Kaoru?" he asked.
"Why would I love you?" she asked back
"You're right. Why! In fact I don't want you to love me, why, because I have so much darkness added to me. It's not easy…" he said truthfully. His mask of Battousai falling into honesty. "I have so much torture in me, that I'm afraid I might show you. It's not simple to bury emotions like mine. I can try, but it doesn't work. I've never been able to scream out at the world, only at myself. It becomes so intense, that the emotions inside of me, make me hate blindly and I don't differentiate between what should and shouldn't. Don't hate me because of my emotions that are too dark, and too cold. They are part of my heart, and they live with me, I would never want to show you them, but if you love me, there's no question that you wouldn't see them" in all his honesty Battousai became undone, saying everything with truth and no lie.
Kaoru was walking to him in amazement. Placing a hand on his cheek, he looked up at her.
"I know you're a good man here" she touched his chest.
"But I know you're a man who needs me to love him. And I will love you even if you will—you will never love me" she found it particularly hard to say it but she did.
"I love you Kenshin, I love you so much" she leaned forward, hugging him.
"Kaoru" he whispered, holding her to him.
The couple slowly pulled back revealing eyes of hope, "well that was an interesting conversation" he said, smirking at her.
"Oh shut up and kiss me, you know you want to" she pulled his head to hers.
'The woman knows me' thought the Battousai. Pulling her into a deep kiss. Her lips tasted like something sweet and he yearned for something sweeter. Pulling back from her ruby red lips, he scooped down for a sample of that neck of hers. Kaoru felt sensitive, receptive and weak. The emotion was madness across her skin. She felt sensual and raw, closing her eyes, she held him dear to her. Feeling him pull at her neck more and more with his teeth. Kaoru smiled sluggishly as she felt her good ole Kenshin work his magic on her, once again.
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The couple returned around three that morning, giggling about some childhood memories. Kaoru couldn't believe Battousai was such a chatterbox, he spoke about everything to her and she felt safe in his truths.
"Well I had a really wonderful time Kenshin, I'll see you in a couple of hours?" she asked.
"Sure" he smirked.
"Good. Well, good nig- - I mean, good morning. That sounds so odd! Anyway, bye Kenshin" she sweetly smiled.
"Good bye Kaoru" he said, leaning forward, kissing her on the lips.
Kaoru felt the touch of his tender lips. Oh like magic he made her feel every time.
Pulling back he walked down the dark hall going to his room. Kaoru shut the door, sliding down the door in happiness. 'Oh my gosh, tonight, I mean this morning, has been the greatest.' She sighs dreamily, 'I'll never forget it'
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Hours worked in, from 3:15 time went to 4:30 and the time simply kept rolling in as a slim 5:30 kicked in and the maids of the Ishinshishi began getting up, getting ready to start meals for the men. Matsura was as usual, up early going down the steps seeing a certain person looking out at this early hour. At first Matsura arched a brow, what could Ninsuko could be doing up so early. Up already nonetheless, the woman proceeded to the kitchen where she saw the pots of food were already on the stove, being cooked.
Matsura thought it must have been Ninsuko. Going to the gathering room, she saw everything was prepared.
Matsura was growing skeptical.
Returning to where the standing Ninsuko was, Matsura broke the silence.
"You okay kido?" Matsura asked.
"Hai! I'm fine" she looked up at the dark sky.
"Thanks for preparing everything. But why'd you do it?" she asked.
"I don't know. Ever since Himura-san choked me half to death, I felt like I should appreciate every moment I live, even the yucky chores. I'm glad he didn't kill me, but I don't think I could ever look at him the same way. Poor Kaoru-chan, she has her heart on that man and he constantly rips her apart. What could she see in him?" Ninsuko asked.
"A man perhaps" Matsura sat on the step looking at Ninsuko.
"A man? What man goes around hurting innocent females?" she asked.
"Well Kaoru-chan sees people differently. Sometimes I think the girl is a little good for herself, but she tries to understand everyone. She tries to understand him. Himura-san isn't all bad, he's just, insecure. Without Kaoru, I guess he'd be a lot worse. Just try to understand Ninsuko, we're not dealing with our Kenshin, we're dealing with Battousai. And as long as he is, well respect him that way. And Kaoru's beliefs, let her keep them. Besides, I don't think Himura-san could ever backtrack a single smile in his childhood, and I almost greedily want Kaoru to make Himura-san laugh, smile and ehehhee, wed him some day" Matsura laughed.
"Matsura that's not funny. Wedding to a demon? Oh come on, Kaoru deserves better" Ninsuko said.
"Well Kaoru's better is always a different type of everything. Besides, it'll be nice to see Himura-san being happy, getting married to the woman of his dreams" she said.
"Who says he loves her?" Ninsuko asked.
"I know it Ninsuko. I know it. One day they'll get married. Himura-san is too mucho, he's all man and no subdued man. He'll remain all stuck up with his unbreakable stature, but Kaoru will tear that apart and enter his heart just the way she's entered him into hers." Matsura said.
"Oh lord. Imagine that sight. Battousai and Kaoru…wow" Ninsuko laughed.
"It's cute to me. She'll be a good wife" Matsura said.
"And he'll be a cold husband, but that's okay" Ninsuko laughed.
"And they'll have lots of children. Plenty babies." Matsura said.
"Thinking of it, it might actually work pretty good. Kenshin in his sane form happens to be a raving lunatic in Kaoru's bed, so I could just imagine this Battousai in her bed, ohhh, none stop action huh? It's pregnancy right around the corner for Kaoru, and knowing my best friend, she cant get enough of her man." Ninsuko giggled.
"Ha Ninsuko! Lets leave that for them to write would you?"
"I'm sure she's gonna have four kids to ten. The rate they go, everyday is a wild holiday for them" Ninsuko said.
"She might have two to three, for the while at least" Matsura said.
"I bet yuh, she's gonna have 4-10" Ninsuko said.
"How much you paying?" Matsura asked.
"Twenty yen coz I'm broke" came that genki smile.
"You're on, twenty yen that she'll have two-three kids" Matsura wagered.
"Deal" they shook hands.
"Good, now, help me with the food" Matsura stood to her feet, the two pouring the food in the bowls.
Around six fifteen, the bell for breakfast rang and everyone began getting up except a certain missy.
"Ten minutes, no make it fifty…" she said in her sleep.
Opening her door was somebody who didn't get any sleep. Shaking her shoulders, she opened her red eyes to the man.
"Kenshin" she breathed, "Kenshin I'm way too tir" she was cut off to the morning kiss, "and good morning to you too" he said.
"Mmmm, tastes good" she giggled, feeling him pull her up to him.
"Bishouhen I hope this isn't a permanent thing of waking me 6-ish. I kind of need my beauty sleep, you know, to stay beautiful" she smiled.
"I know. I need you to your best coz I want you at your best" he leaned over at her neck, tasting her soft neck.
"Kenshin" she whined, knowing it was too early for this.
"Just a little bit" he groaned against her skin.
"No koibito" she pulled back, "besides, I'm way too dirty minded now. No more, okay?" she asked
"But you taste good and I like it" his eyes were a wicked shade of lustful amber.
"No mister. None of that" she pointed her finger.
His eyes were hot on her. Pulling her finger away, he pushed her against her futon leaning over on her. Taking her lips, she whined against him, 'my dearest, why are you so greedy?' she thought.
Pulling back he licked his lips. A memory coming to mind of the past incident.
"You taste, you taste like honey, mm, tastes good" he leaned forward, kissing her again softly on the neck.
Kaoru giggled.
"Alright koibito, enough, lets go down stairs" Kaoru whispered, the red-head pulling back.
"Of course" he said, pulling her to her feet.
The couple exited her room, silently trailing down the dark hall. Gracefully they walked the steps coming to the base. Kaoru could smell food. 'Mmm, smells good'
The couple didn't exactly go to the gathering room, instead Kaoru pulled her 'boyfriend' to the kitchen. There she could hear a conversation from her spunky friend Ninsuko.
"So its four children you think she'll have" Matsura asked.
"Four to ten." Ninsuko said pouring soup in the bowls.
"That's unrealistic" Sakura said.
"No, the rate Battousai is going, Kaoru-chan will be pregnant with four children in no time." Ninsuko said.
The couple exchanged confused looks.
"A-hem" came her voice.
Sparkling blue eyes came from the darkness watching the group of ladies.
"Good morning ladies" she bowed, "I see you ladies enjoy a pastime of browsing my future in children? My my, why is that?" Kaoru asked.
"Oh, well—urh, its just talk." Ninsuko said.
"Uh-huh"
"Anyway. Has that dork called Himura returned?" Ninsuko asked.
She heard a silence from Kaoru.
"I'm sorry he's a complete idiot to you Kaoru-chan. If I had the chance I'd, I'd choke him senseless for being such a jerk" Ninsuko growled at the thought.
"Is that so?" came a cold voice, one Ninsuko would never forget.
"Ninsuko-chan, I forgot to remind you, Kenshin's home again" Kaoru said gently.
"Now you tell me!" Ninsuko felt the fright, as golden eyes glared back at her like a predator in the wild.
"H-Himura-san. Hheheh, I am, I am a bit delirious haahahah? Okay, so I'll be going now" Ninsuko said, running away.
"Why not finish what you want to tell me. Isn't that what your blood crawls to say. Tell me onna, isn't that what you want to say, that I'm a bastard?" his voice was like ice in the room, howling against her violently.
"Kenshin" Kaoru held him back from any more harsh words, "please wait for me in the gathering room" she begged.
He stared into her face, not giving up that easily. "Please" she begged cutely, pouting her lips.
A smirk came to his face, "fine, but you owe me" he walked off.
Kaoru sighed before returning to the Ninsuko who was to the furthest corner of the room.
"He's gone you know" Kaoru said.
"Sheesh! Your boyfriend gives me the creeps." Ninsuko informed.
"Hmm. I don't think you should trouble him" Kaoru spoke.
"I won't, but will that save me?"
"Lets not talk about this, could I help?" Kaoru asked.
"Sure" Matsura said, handing Kaoru some bowls to wash.
Kaoru grimaced.
"So what time did the red-head return last night?" the woman asked.
"Oh around 7ish." Kaoru began scrubbing.
"So you guys are made up again?" Matsura asked.
"Yup!" She smiled at the thought.
"Well that's good."
The women worked in silence until a loud chattering began coming from the gathering room. It was perhaps 7:30 now and the sun was barely up. Most men wanted their food to start their day just right. Kaoru filled a tray with bowls of soup, rushing out into the gathering room, where a cheer was exalted from the famish men. Kaoru gave food out, running back into the kitchen, getting the food and setting it out. One by one Kaoru handed food to the men. Making her way to Kenshin's table, she saw he wasn't there. She wondered where he was. Handing the officials of the Chosu and Ishin, they ate humbly.
The door opened, the red-head stood tall in the archway.
Kaoru smiled. The people backed up. Kenshin ignored their stares, making his way to his table. Sitting down, Kaoru smiled at him.
"Your food Kenshin" a smile glistened across her face.
"Arigatou"
She bowed before leaving.
The maids were last to eat, that meant Kaoru. Kaoru sat next to Kenshin tired and worn. She did however, do a lot of talking for a tired person. She talked, she laughed and even playfully punched the Battousai. Everyone in the room now stared at the two, wondering one, if Kaoru was crack to talk to that freak, and two, would he kill her for punching him like that. Everyone was worried, including Katsura. Kaoru stood on her feet, feeling full, the Battousai following her as they made their way to the kitchen. The eyes never stopped looking on at the beast.
The couple was alone in the kitchen. At first Kaoru felt like leaning in on him, but someone broke their contact.
"Himura-san, you are required for an Ishin-Chosu meeting. It is very urgent" Chazu said.
Kenshin listened, closing his eyes. He knew his actions wouldn't go sound and he'd face punishment as a result for his disrespect and coldness.
"Well here goes, wish me luck" Kenshin said.
"I do" she leaned forward kissing him on the lips.
Their kiss didn't go blind to Matsura and Sakura who were looking on at the couple.
"You always taste better and better" he whispered.
Kaoru bit her lips, "so do you" she waved at him, as he past her.
Kaoru wore a smile of gloat. Matsura came out her hiding place, laughing at the sight.
"Cute Kaoru-chan, very cute" the woman said.
"I see you two have really made up" Sakura said.
"More than ever" she smiled lingering.
And over the hills, the sun had burst free, the morning finally here, like the smile she wore once again.
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An: HAHAAHHAHAHAAH! The update is here, rocking and rolling everywhere! Mwahahah! Okayyyy fhb, shut up. Sorry. Anyways, I hope you guys liked the update, I can't bare to see my favourite couple hurt the way they do, so now its just fun and fun and fun for them. I needed them to get together in this chapter coz, its very crucial for an upcoming chapter. Wow, does anybody believe me when I say this story is now getting started? But believe me, it is! I hope you guys like the chapter and Dionne, you know who you are, thanks for telling me all your thoughts on Battousai, it was because of you I was able to make part of their conversation. Thanks a whole bunch. And to Camille, you know I love yah coz you my lil sis, and you're there for me. I hope I made your day by adding the romance to the characters. So everyone can see now that Battousai has a fear, his fear is Kaoru's death. He may not be able to say he loves her, but even a lion can break down and be subdued, so bet it, he may actually say it, in the future i.e.
Hope you like how the fic is moving forward.
And to the peeps of America who was in trouble with Hurricane Katrina, wanna say, may God be with all of you all and we pray for you everyday! Just hang in there.
Well thanks so much to my nine reviewers of chap 24. I appreciate it. God bless all!
Please review…