"Even if we are occupied with important things

and even if we attain honor or fall into misfortune,

still let us remember how good it once was here,

when we were all together,

united by a good and a kind feeling

which made us perhaps better than we are."

-Fyodor Dostoyevsky

A Letter: a Final Fantasy IX Fan Fiction

Zidane,

Two years ago we stood in this place together. I remember how you looked that night. For the first time since we had returned to our world, you truly looked happy. We took a break in this city that night, because we weren't ready to go further. We had spent hours at Memoria preparing ourselves, but we quickly grew tired. We decided that it would be best to spend the night far way from here. So we came back to Lindblum just for the night. We stayed at that little inn across from the cab station. Steiner, Vivi and Freya went into town to stock up on more supplies while you and I stayed in this room. Everyone else was there too, but they had already fallen asleep. I asked you to come with me, once we made sure Eiko was asleep. I remember that you were surprized that I had the nerve to ask you to sneak away. You were always the bold one. We rode the cab together, to the palace. You sat across from me quietly, watching as the buildings passed by. You looked so solemn. It was so unusual for you.

"What's wrong?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Hmm? Oh nothing. Just thinking." You replied.

"What about?"

"Nothing really." I knew you were lying.

The cab stopped and I led you towards the palace.

"Are you sure we should be doing this? Rusty'll hang me if he finds out." You stopped and tugged at my sleeve.

"It'll be all right. I'll tell him it was my idea. Somehow I think he'll deal with it." I assured.

"I sure hope so."

We headed down the long passageways, until we reached the lift. We rode it to the upper level and then walked up the stairs leading to the top of the tower. When we reached the top, I leaned against the stone wall and gazed at the sky. "I really like it here."

"I figured." You said, standing across from me.

"I bet it's beautiful at night without the mist. I bet you can see all the stars!"

"Yeah..." You didn't sound like you were all there.

"Zidane?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"I wanted to bring you here so we can talk, alone for awhile. We haven't had the chance to in a long time."

"Yeah, I know... It's been so crazy. I wanted to talk to you too. I'm glad you thought of this." You stood next to me looking up at the sky. "Thank you. Thank you for saying what you did back there in Terra. I know I already said thanks... but... I mean... um..."

"You're welcome."

"No... I mean, I guess I wanted to say more back then, but I just couldn't..."

"What else?" You were silent for a long time before you finally said something else. I guess you were trying to find the right words to say.

"It's just that... Dagger... you're going to be a queen someday soon... probably when this is all over. I-I'm not... I don't think that you'd want me... because of who and what I am."

"Of course I would! After everything we've been through, we're a team right? Why wouldn't I?" I tried to cheer you up, but It didn't seem to work very well. I understand why now.

"How can I say this?" You looked so nervous as you looked away from me. I remember how you fumbled with your hands as you tried to gather your words. "Dagger... I really care about you a lot. I-I've never cared so much about someone in my entire life..."

I wasn't completely surprized by what you said, but I wasn't expecting what you were going to say after that. You were shaking so much. At first I thought you were cold, but it wasn't very cold outside at all.

"What I've been trying to tell you all along is that... I... um..." You sighed deeply, like you were very frustrated. "I-I love you Dagger... and I don't wanna have to leave after everything is over. I want to go back with you. I feel like I belong when I'm with you. I couldn't find that in Tantalus or in Bran Bal. I-- I'm scared that I'll loose you. I'm a thief and you're royalty."

You weren't just a lowly thief, but you were everything to me too. I just couldn't find the words to tell you. Even when you said those three words, I didn't know what to say or what to do. I turned away nervously, when I really wanted to fall into your arms.

"Oh... great Zidane. You've done it again. Why do I always mess things up?" You muttered under your breath... but I could hear you. "I probably shouldn't have said that, huh?"

Silence. It continued for several minutes, I don't even know how long. A million words were rushing through my head. I wasn't sure what I should say or do. No training as a princess could teach me how to deal with this kind of situation. Certainly, I didn't learn much from the subject with my travels with you.

"I-I guess I'll be going then. See ya later." You spoke softly almost in a very dejected tone, breaking the silence. I could hear your shoes as they hit the steps below. I heard them grow softer and softer, until I could barely hear them.

That's when I did something stupid, or maybe it was smart. I'm not sure which. I tried to call after you, but I couldn't find the words. It was as if I had lost my voice again. I ran down the stairs after you, as fast as my legs could carry me. I turned the corner, and I saw you standing there leaning against the wall, almost coolly as per usual. But as I walked closer, I could tell it was much more than that. Your head was hung lowly and your arms were crossed. Your tail just hung there, not flicking around as it usually did. You slumped to the floor, looking like you had been defeated.

I felt terrible.

I approached you cautiously, watching every move you made. I was still quite a few steps away from you, but I guess you could hear me approaching. You lifted one hand and rubbed at your eyes before looking up towards me. You quickly rose to your feet, as if you didn't want to be seen as you were moments before.

"Don't go!" I called out to you, finally. "Please!"

"I'm not." You said, turning your back to me. "Just let me know when you're ready to go. I don't want you to go back alone. Rusty'll definitely hang me for that one."

I grabbed you by the shoulder, and turned you around. That's when I leaned in and kissed you for the first time. I wasn't even sure what I was doing, but my heart was pounding. I guess this was the only way I could let you know that I felt the same way too.

"Dagger..?" You muttered, stepping back, but keeping your hands on my shoulders.

"Just... kiss me." I said. I felt like a nervous teenager. Well, that's probably because that's what I was. You wrapped your arms around me so tightly. It wasn't like that time when you saved me at Alexandria. This time, it was gentle and so warm. You lifted my chin with your hand and kissed me again. I can't describe how wonderful it felt. We stayed like that for the longest time, as we just kissed and held each other. We both knew this would be the only time when we could do this for a long time. We would be returning to Memoria in the morning to put an end to everything.

After some time, I pulled away and looked into your eyes. "You're not going to get all clingy on me now, are you?"

You laughed.

I've returned to this city several times in the year after it was all over. I was hoping I'd walk into that hideout and find you there. I never did. Baku said that he hadn't seen you at all since then. I guess, I knew deep down in my heart that you were gone. Still I didn't want to believe it.

Somehow, those last words you said to me still hurt.

"Dagger-I mean, Your Highness. The abduction is over. I can't take you any further. ...I'm sorry for being so selfish."

"No... You're not being selfish. You've done so much for us. If it weren't for you, I probably would've led a meaningless life. With you, I was able to see so much of the world and meet so many people. We faced many hardships, too... but...I think I finally know what's important. I'm so fortunate to have met you. I'll never forget our trip together. Thank you, Zidane. Promise me one thing... Please come back." I could feel the tears coming, but I held them back as I boarded the airship. I watched you turn around towards the Iifa tree. "I love you too..." I whispered into the sky as you disappeared.

I heard that Tantalus was going to do another performance of "I want to be your Canary" in Alexandria. It's been so long, but I know it won't be the same without you. I stopped by Lindblum today, this time to see Regent Cid. I don't visit very often anymore because of my responsibilities as Queen. But... this place is still special to me. I always spend a few moments here whenever I come to visit Cid. This is where you found me singing, remember? Your words that day when I had lost my voice meant so much to me. I wanted to stop by the hideout again, but I knew that it was pointless. I have to move on, that's what you taught me. You may be gone, but you will always be in my memories.

Love,

Dagger

AN: Another short but sweet fic! I decided that there wasn't much in the way of Zidane and Dagger fluff on so I decided to contribute some since I'm currently replaying the game. I forgot how good it was! To those of you who keep an eye on my stories, I'm still working on "Endless Road". I hope to have the next chapter up shortly. Between Otakon in August, other projects, work, and a bagillion other things, I just haven't had the time or motivation to write anything. So hopefully this little story will get me back into the swing of things.