(Hey there, have you had enough of the tearjerkers after those chapters? Okay get ready for some "action" now. This scene has been edited for this website the complete uncut version will appear on my website. Enjoy and thanks again to everyone who has been reviewing especially Nick2951 and BigDave. Now here we go with Chapter 29. We're getting closer to the end so stay tuned….I hope you are enjoying the story. Talk to you soon.)

Chapter 29

A few days after the funeral, Souke had decided to remain at home for a while. Souke wasn't comfortable with leaving his mother and sister alone even though Asuka was a trained soldier and a lethal one at that.

None of that mattered now, Asuka's heart was broken and her mind was not focused. Grief overwhelmed her and the task of packing away Shinji's things was the equivalent of someone taking a knife and jabbing it into her heart. For bereavement, she was given an additional week to relax before returning to duty yet, the phone still rang and requested "updates" to which she would say, "when I'm ready!"

For the most part, she either was found lying on her bed or lying on the couch. The will to move and do everyday things was not within in her.

Souke knew she was vulnerable and so he stayed behind to make sure she was protected.

Reina stayed for a few days more and then returned back to school.

Hope knowing she had to return to duty was tied up in knots.

So much had happened.

Unit 1 had rejected her, her father was gone, she had learned hideous truths and now everything seemed so uncertain,

Then there was Sawyer.

Sawyer, whom she swore, she would not get involved with. Sawyer who she couldn't stop thinking about at night and who lived in her dreams and carried her away to places she had never known before. She had never felt this way towards anyone, never even Isao, and he was her fiancé at one time.

Her fear was losing.

Hope never knew how to handle defeat it wasn't in her character. She had been the type to get straight A's in school, followed by straight A's at the academy. She had pushed herself hard to gain her promotion to captain and had pushed herself even harder to become a major, despite having been on psychiatric evaluation, after the accident that took Isao's life. .

How is it I could feel this way about Sawyer? He's my superior officer. Am I crazy for being this attracted to him? My father's last words were not to be afraid. I am afraid. I can't lose myself like this? Am I crazy for caring for him? Why have I jumped into ths so quickly? What the hell am I doing? I was ready to jump into bed with him a week ago! When the hell have I ever done that after barely knowing a guy? Never. There's only been one. Isao. What the hell is wrong with me? Did Sawyer know about my father? Did he know it was SEELE all along? Why did he lie? Did my mother know? I have to know. I can't keep this inside.

Hope felt like she had no control over anything. Her mind was tied up in questions, her emotions were in knots and she didn't feel like she knew the answers to anything.

As she walked into the apartment, she hadn't noticed that Sawyer had followed her in until she turned and saw him.

"You don't have to stay." She told him.

"I'd like to." He told her as he shut the door and took off his jacket.

"I appreciate you coming out with me when my father passed." Hope said to him as she looked at the wall. "You can go if you want.. You don't have to stay here. I want to be alone."

"I don't believe you. I'd like to stay with you. I want to." He said to her.

"My father just died for Christ's sake!" Hope growled. "I'm not in the mood!"

"I didn't mean it like that." He told her. "I just…I just want to stay with you that's all. Even if all I do is hold you all night, that's enough."

"Sawyer, why?" She asked as she turned to face him. "You are the Commander of NERV! You are my superior officer! You are privy to certain things, Sawyer! Did you know it? Did you know that SEELE murdered Isao? Did you know that SEELE caused my father's cancer and put my father through hell for years? Did you know it, Sawyer? DID YOU!"

Sawyer breathed in and stared into her face and knowing he could only say one thing, he said it. "Yes."

"Get out." Hope told him as she turned her back.

"It was classified!" Sawyer told her. "I couldn't tell…. I promised someone I wouldn't."

"Who did you make a promise to like that?" Hope asked. "Wait. I know whom. My mother, of course!" She looked at him with a scowl and her eyes narrowed as she spat out bitterly. "You lied to me, Sawyer. You and my mother have lied to me about everything!"

"That's a lie." He told her.

"It's a lie to lie about a lie?" Hope scoffed and said. "Yeah, I can see justification in that."

"You're mother wanted to protect you. I swore to protect you." He told her as he stared at her.

"Sawyer, don't look at me like that."

"Like how?" He asked her as he stared at her. "Like how I feel about you is that how?"

"Sawyer…no." Hope said as she turned away.

"Okay, Hope, you're right. I didn't tell you the truth about your father when I learned about it in Washington. I didn't tell you the truth about Isao either when I came back from Washington and part of me couldn't face you knowing that I knew this." He told her as he sighed and then continued. "I did it to protect you."

"Protect me?"

"I didn't want you to know that SEELE had done such heinous acts to your father and to you."

"You mean, you didn't want your only choice who could pilot the EVA to be a candidate for REJECTION, DON'T YOU?" She yelled.

"That was not an issue." Sawyer told her. "How did you find out about this? Who told you? Did your mother?"

"No. Souke told me. Souke's known it for years. It was one of the reasons why he didn't want to be a cop. He didn't want to keep secrets but he kept this one. He told me after he shot that guy at the funeral. Sawyer, you should have told me!"

"Of course!" Sawyer said as he slapped his forehead. "Of course it was Souke! Souke seems to know everything!"

"That's why he didn't want to be a cop anymore!" Hope yelled out. "Because of these awful truths and lies. He's concealed it from my mother, my father, my sister and me! He's only told Reina and me. I in turn have told him about the mission and about SEELE and about the EVA. I felt it was only fitting."

"That's going against orders, Hope!" Sawyer said firmly.

"Fuck it." Hope told him angrily. "My brother deserves to know the truth! He's the only one, aside from my father, who has ever told me the truth! You and my mother seemed to have been conspiring for quite some time! Unbelievable! I knew my mother was protective but I never thought she would ever go this far!"

Sawyer breathed in as he said. "You have to keep your focus, Hope. You can't let this distract you."

"Fuck my focus!" Hope growled out. "What are you worried about? Worried about another failed sync test? Worried about me having another breakdown? What the fuck do you care? How would you feel knowing your father was murdered and your fiancé was too?" Hope asked. "How would you feel if you were the reason why?"

"That's not the reason, Hope." Sawyer told her.

"What is, Sawyer? If I wasn't the reason, what is?"

"The reason is because there are paranoid, delusional maniacs running around called SEELE who want to destroy our world and they need to be eliminated. That is the reason." Sawyer told her. "I know I never told you the truth about your father or Isao and you know what, I wouldn't have told you. I want to protect you and keep you safe. I promised your mother I would. I will continue to do so."

"Good. Now get out." She said angrily.

"Hope, I just know that I am crazy about you." He said to her as he stared at her.

"Oh, Sawyer….don't." Hope said as she turned away. "You should leave. Go home, Sawyer."

"I don't want to leave you…ever." he told her.

"Sawyer!"

"Honestly, tell me you want me to go!" he said to her. "Go ahead. Look in my face and say it! I want to hear you say it."

"Sawyer, I…I'm not…"

"What?"

"It's just…"

"Is it because of Isao? Is it because of your father?"

She breathed in as she heard. Then she looked over at him and nodded. "Partly."

Sawyer took a deep breath and then said. "I know what it did to you when you lost Isao. I heard it all in Washington and all I can tell you, is I respect so much for what you endured."

"You knew, Sawyer?" She asked. "You knew what happened to me? Did you know that I broke down in the control room after I watched his plane crash into the ground on the monitor in front of me? Did you know that,right before he died, I heard him tell me he loved me? Did you know I went completely catatonic for seven weeks on end, wanting to die everyday because the pain was so much that I couldn't my life without him? Did you know the only person to pull me back was my brother? Then did you know that I was grounded from flying for six months while my mother had me on psychiatric evaluation? Did you know it nearly ruined my career and prevented me from becoming a major? Did you hear all of that, Sawyer? Did they air all of that in the meeting with my mother?"

"There was a very overzealous, obsessive man named General Harris who wants to undermine your mother and take over the operation. He did his best to discredit her and because he had access to government intelligence, he had your file and he said it all in that meeting but your mother stood up to him. He bought up your father's cancer. He tried his best to discredit her and your mother would not let that happen. She defended you. The President himself was at the meeting via videoconference, and he defended you! Yes, Hope, I know that it caused you to have a nervous breakdown and put you in a catatonic state for seven weeks. I know that Souke saved your life.."

"So you knew all along?" She asked.

"When I came back from Washington I knew it all." He said. "I swore to your mother, who is my mentor and a friend, I would keep you safe but I also never expected this ever. The night your father died when you asked me to spend the night with you and all I did was hold you, I knew I needed you. I knew I always wanted to protect you and keep you safe. I need you." He said to her as he came over to her and wrapped his strong arms around her holding her close to him.

"Sawyer…." She whispered as she shut her eyes.

"Its all right." He whispered to her "I know how much pain you feel. I know that you hurt so much. I know you're angry and frustrated. I know you feel I lied to you and in your eyes, I have. In mine, I did it to protect you. I did it because I care so much for you. Hope, let me ease your pain. Let me into your heart, Hope."

"Sawyer, everything is fucked up." She said as she breathed in trying to control her tears from falling, then she yelled out.. "SEELE killed my father and my fiancé! Isao was the first person I ever fell in love with. I met him when I first came onto the squadron. He really encouraged me to be a great pilot. He encouraged me to a better person. SEELE took him away from me! I always knew his plane crash was not an accident. I was never told it but I knew it! Faulty gas line? Faulty gas line, my ass, tampered gas line is more like it! Then, SEELE hurt my father. My father…didn't deserve it! My father sacrificed so much to give us everything. My father was in pain everyday. My mother watched him suffer every damned day! They made him suffer in excruciating pain for two years! My Dad fought this cancer with everything he had! He was originally given a prognosis of six months to a year! For two years, he fought it with everything he had! To know that any person purposely did that to him, I want to kill them. My Dad…. was like my best friend…he battled this damn cancer for two years, Sawyer! Two fucking years! It seems so unfair that he lost the battle and SEELE did that to him!"

"Hope, " Sawyer whispered to her. ", your father never let it beat him. SEELE killed his body but not his spirit."

Hope breathed in as she looked away. "You can leave now, Sawyer."

"Hope, do you feel guilty for feeling the way you do about me?" he asked her.

She nodded. "AT this moment? Yes! I'm better off being alone!"

"Hope, do you think that Isao would want that? Do you think he'd want you to be alone forever? Do you think your father would want that for you? I know you are furious with me right now but I want you to see it from where I stand. I had to do this. I couldn't tell you this. Hope, there is a reason why I feel the way I do about you and why I'm here with you now. There are reasons why people come into our lives, Hope. Some stay for a while to teach us a lesson or two. Some stay for a season, to make a difference in us and to make us stronger. Some people stay for a lifetime. The ones who stay for a lifetime are the ones to be with us forever and to remain with us to be our companions, our friends, sometimes our lovers and if we're lucky, our mates for life. Maybe Isao came into your life for a season but it was a season to teach you about life and about love. Your father stayed for a lifetime and gave to you everything he was. I could be more to you if you let me, maybe even someone you'd want to keep for life."

Hope couldn't hold back, she began to cry. She turned to him and buried her head on his chest.

"It just hurts so bad. Losing Isao tore my heart out and he was murdered, Sawyer! SEELE killed him! I wanted to be his wife. I wanted to grow old with him and have babies with him. When he was killed, it changed me forever. Losing my Dad is like torture. Seeing his face right before he died, smiling at me, telling me he was proud of me, and knowing he was in so much pain…. I am so angry! SEELE did that to him! They made him suffer for years! They tried to break him! I loved my Dad so much. Sawyer, I'm tired of losing people I love! I hate SEELE! It's not right! I'm tired of lies and deceit and conspiracies! I just want the truth!"

"I know." Sawyer said.

"I want to make SEELE pay for this! I have to! They will pay! Unit 1 will not reject me as its pilot next time. I will be successful. SEELE will be destroyed!"

"Hope, you are the strongest woman I've ever known. You are strong and confident and I know you can do it. I know you can get out there and pilot Unit 1 and do what you need to. For what you endured, you stood up and you fought hard. Hope, please, forgive me for what I've done. I did it to protect you, to keep you safe. I respect your mother and she only did to keep you from getting hurt. Hope, she did it for love. Look at it from her perspective and mine."

"Sawyer, these truths I've learned." She said to him. "How can I…"

"Hope. I know you can get through this. Forgive me for what I've done. I had to though. Regardless though, I have to tell you something, and it may make a difference or it may not but I'm telling you this, " Sawyer leaned close to her and whispered in her ear. "I love you."

"You…. love me?' Hope asked gently as she raised her head to gently gaze into his eyes.

"Yes." He told her. "I can't imagine myself without you."

"Sawyer…"

"Hope. I believe in you. You are capable of anything that's why I love you." He told her as he put both of his hands on her cheeks and gently bought his face closer to hers as his lips pressed against hers.

Hope breathed out as he parted his lips from her. Her eyes fluttered, then closed again as she allowed him to kiss her tenderly and sweetly, their arms came around each other and their kiss became deeper.

As she parted from him and she looked back into his face all of her anger was gone, as her arms wrapped around his waist..

"I love you, Sawyer." She said back

"Hope," he whispered to her as he kissed her again.

She looked into his face and smiled at him, saying gently. "Now that I know the truth. We'll beat SEELE together, Sawyer. I was so angry when I found out you lied…. but, I think I can understand. I don't like it but I can understand. Knowing how my mother is, I can see why she did it. If my Dad knew the truth, he'd be in fear for all of us. She couldn't do that to him or me. Oh God, this is so complicated. I can…. understand though. I'm not angry, Sawyer. I want to defeat SEELE and we'll do it."

He smiled at he and nodded. "Yes, we will. Together."

She smiled at him and she kissed him once more.As she looked at him, she felt his strong arms come aroundher..

Their eyes closed as he crushed her to him and they kissed one another deeply and passionately.

She found herself backed up against the wall while he was against her, both were breathing heavily, kissing one another deeply and running their hands all over each other.

"Make love to me, Sawyer." She breathed out.

They kissed each other with a wanton fervor as she bought her hands to his chest and slowly started to unbutton his shirt.

Hope finished unbuttoning his shirt as she moved her hands over his well-defined hairy chest and pushed his shirt down over his shoulders and let it fall on the floor behind him.

She moved her head back as he moved with her. She loved how strong he was. His body was cut so well and his muscles were large and well defined. She loved his chest, how firm it was and how strong. She never wanted to let him go.

Sawyer lifted her shirt up over her body and pulled it over her head. His hands went from her arms downward as his lips, moved all over her neck, throat and chest.

His lips joined hers again, as his hands unsnapped her bra and slowly took it off of her. He broke from their kiss as he felt her breasts pressed against his chest. He took a breath as he studied her moving his hands all along her chest and down her abdomen as he continued to kiss her while both of them breathed heavily.

She closed her eyes as he touched her and made her moan out happily. She reached for the back of his head and drew him back to her for another kiss.

Hope shut her eyes and moved her head back as Sawyer's lips passionately ate at her neck, then as he raised his head to look at her, he gave off a devilish smirk at he did what he did next.

He pulled her to him, kissed her deeply and picked her up, wrapping her legs around him still locked into a passionate kiss as he carried her into the bedroom.

They made their way to the bedroom never breaking their kiss from one another. Both of them were overwhelmed with desire for one another as they came into her bedroom.

Breathing heavily through a moan and their kiss, they fell onto her bed with one another in a heated passion. He was lying on top of her as she lay underneath him. Their hands explored each other all over while each other's lips and mouths gave each other a unique sensual pleasure that neither one of them had felt in such a long time.

The rest of their clothing came off quickly and then as both were breathing heavily in the darkness, their lips came together as they started to combine with one another.

Holding onto her, he moved foreword while his lips worked their subtle magic in the way of a kiss that made her moan as he moved and felt her body respond in kind.

"Ummm…ah…. gah…. Sawyer…" Hope moaned out as she found a remarkable pleasurable from him she hadn't known in so long.

She felt him become one with her. At first it hurt her, like it was almost the first time again, but shortly after the pain disappeared and she called out loudly as she felt the pleasure and passion go throughout her

Sawyer took his time with her. He knew that she hadn't been with a man in a very long time and he wanted to do this right. He wanted to satisfy her in every way possible so that she would be screaming his name as loud as her lungs would let her.

He knew she needed to feel the heat of passion again and he was only too glad to oblige.

He bought himself over her, holding himself up with his arms as he looked down upon her. Slowly, he bought his lips down to hers and kissed her. He kissed her in a tender, romantic way that spelled out what she meant to him.

. She moved her head back and moaned out loudly, missing the sensation of being with a man again. Her palms traveled up his strong arms and over his back that was covered in a clear sheen of perspiration..

As she moaned repeatedly, her lips found their way onto his neck and chest and she explored him thoroughly.

She delighted in finding his earlobe and sucking on it gently while he moved with her and called out in moans and grunts

She felt a lot of her knowledge about pleasing a man in bed come back to her as she continually called out in excitement. .

He continued to move with her, sweat with her, kiss her and hold her as he hands explored her body in order to give the ultimate satisfaction he wanted to give her. .

Their hearts and bodies combined in the manner of spontaneous combustion as they became wild and uncontrollable with one another. She let him do whatever he wanted to do to her and he in turn was only too happy to allow her to do the same in kind.

Hours later, after both of them were drenched in each other's perspiration did they finally rest.

Hope was lying underneath him, he was across her, and his body heaved as did hers as her arms were around him lightly tracing her fingers down his back.

"I was right about you." Sawyer said as he raised his head and looked at her. "You are red-hot in bed."

Hope laughed as she looked at him. "Well, of course you thought that!"

"Its true though!" Sawyer said as he chuckled.

"You are a very odd man." She said as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I love you." He whispered to her as he kissed her again.

"Mmm…. I love you too…Sawyer…." Hope said happily as he started kissing her neck gently. "…. do you want to… start up again?"

"Nah, woman. Three times all ready? You'll kill me." He told her with a smile.

"Oh really." Hope smirked as her lips found their way against his and her hands started to glide down his back, grabbing his firm, naked bottom and moved further down to underneath him.

"On second thought, " Sawyer said through their kiss. ", what better way to die!"

Hope laughed at him as he went back to kissing her.

Moments later, they were joined in passion once more, totally enjoying the moment and totally feeling their hearts bathe in complete euphoria.

( You guessed it I had to squeeze out some of the "lemon" for this site but the uncut will be available on my site. Actually the writing in the uncut could not be carried over into the edited version. This scene was totally reworked. The uncut is written quite differently. See ya later. Enjoy!)