Prologue
Sunnydale Municipal Airfield, December 22, late evening:
"Harmony? Is that you?"
The tall, blonde young woman turned swiftly, her guard up slightly, and squinted into the dark. "Oz?"
"It is you." Oz walked over, curious to see someone he recognized, even though he and Harmony had never exactly been friends. Then he realized he had nothing in particular to say, but somehow that never mattered with Harmony.
"Hi, Oz! Are you here to see your family? Are you going to see Willow? Oh, I guess maybe not, I mean, uh, well, how are you these days?" Harmony tried so hard these days to sound tactful and mature; her most recent mentor encouraged this as a measure of self-confidence.
"I'm great, doing really well," Oz was amused to see Harmony hadn't changed much since high school. Or had she? He sniffed something familiar on her, something he recognized as a warning signal. Could it be...? "Uh, yeah, I'm sort of in a hurry, gotta meet the folks, you know. Wasn't really planning on seeing Willow...So, okay then. Merry Christmas." And he started walking more rapidly toward the tiny taxi stand outside the terminal.
"Well, bye then." Harmony was a little disappointed. She knew better than to try to bite someone like Oz, but it might have been fun to share a cab into town. Tragically, Harmony was about to spend the holidays stuck in her parents' house, when she really would rather have taken that Norwegian cruise her LA cronies were enjoying. Sunnydale had little left to offer. And through the grapevine she'd heard rumors about Spike that made her reticent to visit him, though she still missed him often. With a determined sigh, Harmony picked up her bags, and headed out into the night.
Buffy and Dawn put off tree shopping until the 23rd. Last year they barely celebrated Christmas, but lately it felt okay to start creating a more normal life than they'd had since their mother died. Unfortunately, it's not easy to get a good tree so late in the season, and all the trees left were, as Dawn put it, "lame Charlie Brown ones." The two young women were on the verge of giving up when they ran into Clem, the dog-eared demon, who told them that Spike had an awesome tree at his crypt. Buffy and Dawn promptly decided to pay a little visit to the cemetery.
As they walked, Dawn spoke, "I believe you when you say he's changed, Buffy, but I'm still not comfortable with him knowing he once tried to--you know."
Buffy slipped her arm around her little sister who was now much taller than she, and replied, "You have to trust me. It's my job to keep us both safe, and Spike, well, he's gone through a lot to get to where he is now. I don't think I can ever feel the same way around him, but I do know he won't hurt me now, and he would never think of harming you."
When they reached the entrance and stood in the doorway, he was lounging in a corner, feet up, strumming a guitar and singing,
"Have a holly, jolly Christmas;
It's the best time of the year
I don't know if there'll be snow,
But have a cup of cheer.
Have a holly, jolly Christmas;
Just don't walk down the street
You might find out
Vamps are about
Theyll drain you for a treat."
In horror, or amusement, or something, the girls stopped to listen, as he continued,
"Oh ho, the pinkish glow
In every caroler's cheeks
Some ugly demon waits
To--"
"Spike, stop!" Dawn decided she couldn't listen to another word.
"Oh, hello there, ladies. Like my Christmas tree?" Spike was a sight to behold. He was wearing a light-blue V-necked sweater over a white collar shirt, and dark brown cuffed trousers. It was almost a relief to see that the Andy Williams attire was at least set off by the same pair of old combat-style boots Spike had always worn.
And the tree was as awesome as Clem had promised; as Spike explained, some demons ran a Christmas tree lot near the docks. "You'll need me to go along to, uh, negotiate the deal."
Buffy looked suspicious, "Are you saying there are no color-coded tags with prices per foot on them?"
"Trust me, Buffy. You don't want to know."
After Spike insisted on carrying the huge Christmas tree to the Summers' house, Buffy and Dawn went to the attic in search of ornaments.
Each ornament bought back a certain memory, of course. Buffy found a faded green, gold and red paper chain she and her mother made when Dawn was a baby, except, as usual, she had to stop and realize Dawn really wasn't there at all, in the original script. Somehow, it felt nicer to remember the revised version. Buffy started to put it back in the box, but Dawn stopped her. "Please, let me hang this one. I know the perfect spot for it."
Buffy sighed, "I guess it's okay. Some connections to the past are good for us. Only, I sort of always imagined us both bringing husbands and children to visit Mom, and she'd tell the stories about us as children at Christmas. Until I figured out that will probably never happen for me." She stopped, shook away the melancholy and spoke again, "Go for it. And I think we've found enough stuff for the tree. Let's get downstairs and get to work!"
Next afternoon, while Buffy and Willow prepared a holiday supper including a roast, winter vegetables, and bread that was fresh-baked from frozen store-bought dough, Dawn made eggnog from a recipe she found on the internet, affirming to herself that it was non-alcoholic, thinking of how Mom would have felt if she caught her 16 year-old daughter nipping at the libations. "Because if she were here, she'd see how perfect we've made everything. And how hard we're working to honor what she wanted for us."
Giles was the first guest to arrive, holding a crystal bowl of cranberry relish. He proudly told the girls he made it himself from a Wolfgang Puck recipe. Buffy laughed happily and took it from him, along with a bottle of brandy, and headed to the dining room. Meanwhile, Dawn pulled him down to whisper in his ear, and he nodded, pulling several sprigs of mistletoe out of his pocket. She grinned and tilted her head toward the kitchen.
As Giles pushed a sprig in the kitchen doorframe with a thumbtack he removed from a little plastic case he'd put in his other pocket, Dawn happily gave him a squeeze to thank him, and he spoke, with a twinkle in his eye, "Seeing as you and I are the first ones under the mistletoe, may I offer you a kiss?"
Too surprised to say otherwise, Dawn nodded, but rolled her eyes. Giles tipped up her chin, and very lightly kissed the corner of her mouth. Delighted at the sweet, almost fatherly gesture, she hugged him again, saying, "I'm so glad you came back. I hope you can stay for a really long time."
Anya appeared next, with a big holly wreath and a story about how she met the Green Knight when she was a young girl. "His name was Tanist and he was very big and ugly. You really wanted to stay out of his way this time of year. But the florist assured me that it's a human custom to hang holly wreaths at Christmas, and no one beheads anyone. Also, the berries can be crushed and used to stop bleeding, should that become necessary."
Xander came in bearing doughnuts with red and green sprinkles, and a bottle of rum. Dawn spoke right up, saying, "I know you'll all want to drink that swill after dinner, but make sure you keep it out of my eggnog!"
He laughed and promised, then gave Anya a quick hug, taking her hand to kiss it. Anya shrugged, "Old news, Xander." He shook his head a little, but smiled, and held her hand to his lips for a moment before letting go.
Everyone sat for a few minutes, enjoying the scents wafting from the kitchen, when Spike walked in, with an uncomfortable grin plastered on his face. Buffy and Dawn both walked over to him and welcomed him in, and the others, having been warned to treat this re-ensouled vampire with dignity, greeted him with a lot of noise and chatter. It was a little over-friendly at first, in that sort of fake, kindly way people have, and in Xander's case it was barely disguised--his emotion-laden defense of Buffy always rising to the surface, whether she needed it or not. Dawn, however, was very happy to see Spike, particularly because he was carrying a huge tin of holiday popcorn in three flavors. He headed into the kitchen with it, and seeing Willow standing in the doorway, grabbed her and kissed her.
"Spike! Cut that out!"
He pointed to the mistletoe and spoke, "Well, I figured now would be a good time to make up for not being able to bite you in your dorm room a while back, I mean, I'm sorry I tried, not really sorry for failing..."
Willow snorted, "Gee, thanks. But I hope you won't be insulted if I ask to be left out of your 12-step program. I have to finish getting through my own, first."
Spike shrugged, set the popcorn on the table, and walked back to the others. Willow reached up on tiptoes, tugged at the mistletoe, and tossed it onto a counter; however, there was a distinct smile on her face.
After supper, Buffy cleared the table while Willow brought out cheese, fruit and cookies for dessert. Then Dawn happily offered to fetch her eggnog, and the others smiled and agreed. They all assembled in the living room while she headed for the kitchen. Seeing the mistletoe on the counter, Dawn was puzzled, but decided to hang it over the back door."That way, if anyone goes out to the deck for fresh air, they'll get snagged!"
She brought the big bowl and matching cups to the dining room, then went and told the others, "Be careful with Mom's punch set. It's the oldest thing of hers we have. She got it for a wedding gift! And remember, no spiking the eggnog! You've all worked through most of Giles' brandy anyway."
Xander was the first to head for the dining room for nog. "It looks great, Dawnie," he called back. Then he muttered to himself, "But it just wouldn't be proper eggnog without a little warmth," as he poured a small amount of rum into the bowl, making sure no one had followed him in. As he sat back down, Buffy walked over to take a cup, but before she ladled the drink into it, she poured in the remainder of the brandy from her glass. She passed Willow on her way out, who waited until Buffy was out of sight before doing the exact same thing with her own glass.
Willow walked back into the living room with a cup, saying, "This gift exchange was a great idea, Buffy."
Buffy answered, "Don't thank me; it was Spike's idea!"
At that, Giles and Xander rolled their eyes. Dawn said, "I'm getting the popcorn, and then we can start trading the presents!"
As she returned, Spike stood up, cleared his throat, and handed a beribboned flask to Giles, saying, "Here's something to warm you up, old man."
Giles, clearly startled, began to offer thanks, when he realized the flask was already filled. He opened it to sniff, raising his eyebrows, and spoke delightedly, "Cognac! Spike, whatever made you--?"
Spike replied softly, "Seemed right for the season, that's all."
And Giles, after just a moment's hesitation, leaned over to shake Spike's hand. He then presented a packaged to Anya, who opened it eagerly to discover a tapestry-patterned tote bag. Touched, she hugged him awkwardly and rather firmly, saying, "It's very pretty."
She then offered a flat box to Dawn, who saw that the box and lid were wrapped and ribboned separately, just like on TV. Anya spoke quickly, "The saleslady was trying to wrap it wrong, until I explained how they do it on QVC."
Dawn lifted the lid and pulled out a Fair Isle sweater in shades of blue, with a little yellow threaded through the pattern. Anya explained, "It's hand-knit by some old woman who sells them to a dress shop. Do you like it?"
Holding it up to her chest, Dawn nodded happily, saying, "It's perfect, Anya. Thank you!"
Next, Dawn handed Willow a lumpy bundle tied at the top, saying, "I'm glad you're here with us now." Willow squeezed Dawn's hand as she took the package, which contained a large latte mug decorated with snowflakes, and stuffed with packages of hazelnut-flavored cocoa mix.
"This is just great, Dawnie. I'll enjoy the mornings a little more now." Then Willow reached behind the couch and pulled out a large basket containing soaps, bath beads and candles. She turned to Buffy and spoke, "Here's something to help you relax after work. Hey, Buffy, what's wrong? You've been so quiet..."
Buffy spoke quietly but happily, "This is just a really nice evening, with everyone getting along, and no curses to break, or demons to fight," She held up the basket, "and thank you, Will, this is just what I need." Then she reached over and laid a small package on Xander's lap. "I hope I got the kind you like."
Xander ripped off the wrapping to find a black leather wallet inside. He opened it to reveal a picture of Buffy and Dawn on one side, and Willow on the other. Solemnly, he took his old beat-up wallet from his pocket, removed a photo from it, and added it to the new one, looking at Anya as he did so. "Thank you, Buffy, I really did need a replacement." Then he handed an enormous box to Spike, who discovered a Hickory Farms cheese and sausage set under the wrapping.
Spike laughed and said, "Thanks, mate. I can use this when I do my entertaining."
Dawn leaned over to Willow and whispered, "Isn't that just like the one Xander's parents always--?"
"Shhh!" Willow hushed her before she could finish.
Giles was returning from the eggnog bowl, surreptitiously replacing the cap on his new flask, as everyone began talking of Christmases past. He told Dawn, "Your eggnog is quite delicious." Anya heard him and went to the dining room to try it out.
She returned quickly, saying, "It was pretty good, but needed some oomph, so I poured a little of Xander's rum into it."
Everyone else looked sheepish as Dawn replied, "Well, I guess just a little won't hurt."
Xander told the story of Willow sneaking to his house to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas, and how he wanted to be Jewish and get eight days of Hanukkah presents until Willow told him each present was like a coloring book or stationery or chocolates instead of G.I. Joe or Technobots. Giles talked about Christmas in Bath, and Spike, well, each time he started to tell a story, someone interrupted with one of their own, until he finally gave up and started a game of checkers with Anya, who was a little bored because she wasn't in any of the stories. Everyone drank more from what seemed like a bottomless bowl of eggnog, none of them aware it had been spiked five times.
As the evening wore down, the wrappings were gathered and Xander offered to take out the trash. Dawn followed him into the kitchen. When he returned from the backyard, she flung her arms around him saying, "You're not a vampire. You're a real boy. I mean, a man." And she smashed her lips against his, then continued, "I'm very sleepy, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to bed now." Xander just stood in shock and watched her leave. He reached up, pulled down the mistletoe, and walked straight to the dining room for an eggnog refill. Then, with a smile on his face, he stuck the mistletoe over the entrance to the living room.
After Anya and Spike finished their game, Willow followed Anya to the dining room. At this point, she was feeling tipsy but also down, the way people sometimes feel at the end of a holiday gathering. She took Anya by the shoulders and laid a juicy kiss on her, tugging a little at Anya's lower lip as she finished. "Oh well, I've kissed the boys, but there are no boys left to kiss. And I miss kissing girls more. You're a girl. You're beautiful. Xander wanted you. He always wanted the beautiful girls." Anya patted Willow on the head as Willow swayed toward her again, and spoke gently, "That's okay, Willow. But I like to kiss people, men, who have penises. I tried it your way about 400 years ago, but didn't enjoy the orgasms as much."
Willow just laid her head against Anya's shoulder and talked on, "Who knew that instead of still wanting him, I'd want what he wanted. But neither of us will have it. We won't have each other and we won't have what we wanted." Anya steered her back to the couch, where she promptly curled into the fetal position and passed out.
While Buffy began to gather the remaining platters from the dining room, Spike walked in to say goodbye. "I told Clem I'd drop by; he's having a thing, you know..." He finished awkwardly, "Thank you for this. For allowing me to be part of it all."
Buffy said quietly, "You're standing under the mistletoe, Spike." And she stretched up and gave him a quick kiss, then stood back in alarm. So did Spike.
"Well, thanks for that as well, love. But don't worry. I'm still a little too crazy right now to figure out about you and me. I won't take that to mean more than it did for now." And with those words, he walked out of the room, waved a goodbye to everyone, and left. He'd heard a rumor Harmony was in town; maybe it would do to look her up, share a bit of holiday cheer...though somehow, he just wasn't in the mood.
Meanwhile, Anya sat in a chair, frustrated, elbows on knees, twiddling her thumbs, thinking about kissing Willow, and kissing Xander, and really, kissing in general and all the nice things it often leads to. So naturally, when she heard Giles humming away in the dining room, she got up, brought him to the threshold, and laid a kiss on him such as he'd not experienced in at least a couple of years. And, just as naturally, for a man who is buzzed and a bit frustrated of late, he kissed her right back, hard, pulling her toward him, his hand gripping the back of her head. She wrapped her arms around him and they stayed locked in that position until Giles spoke, "I was just thinking of leaving."
Anya answered, her lips between his, "So was I."
He whispered, pressing his mouth to her ear, "Let's leave together."
And with that, they both walked to the living room, gathered their packages and jackets, shouted to the kitchen, "Goodbye Buffy, Goodbye, Xander!" and headed out together.
As they reached the curb, Giles stopped for a moment and spoke, "Are you quite finished with vengeance for now?"
Anya answered, "It's all right. You're safe with me."
They got into Giles' car and drove off into the night.
With Willow asleep on the couch, Dawn asleep upstairs, and Spike, Giles and Anya having departed, Buffy bustled around in the kitchen while Xander sipped more eggnog. He looked up to discover the mistletoe had fallen; picking it up off the floor, he walked to the kitchen, held it over his head, and waited for Buffy to notice. She turned, laughed, and spoke, "I didn't have that much eggnog, Xander."
He stepped closer to her, replying, "I had just exactly enough." Then, moving the mistletoe so that it was over her head now, he leaned in and kissed her, just as he'd often imagined kissing her for nearly seven years. She looked at him, tilting her head back as if she needed to focus, then reached up, took his hand in hers, and kissed him in return. They stood together, hand in hand, almost nose to nose, for a very long minute. Then without another thought or word, Xander and Buffy moved seamlessly into each other's arms and stayed there til Christmas morning.