(Fiona's POV)
That same day, in the evening
I remember me
And all the little things that make up a memory
Like she said she loved to watch me sleep
Like she said:
"It's the breathing, it's the breathing in and out and in and..." I guess I thought that someone would notice
I guess I thought somebody would say something
If I was missing
Can't you see me?
I picked up the bow, the cello leaning against me. The music was laid out on the bed. I quickly played a scale, the cello being tuned already. It was the Unaccompanied Cello Suite Prelude, No. 1, G Major. I hoped this would relax me.
So, placing the bow on the strings and positioning my fingers, I took a deep breath, and began to play with the exhale.
I lost myself in the music, you might say. As the music lilted, slowed, went faster, my eyes closed, letting the music guide my fingers. And then I saw it – my way home. A door, in the fort, into what appeared to be one of the offices – it went into my time. I continued to play, and the door opened and I saw into 2004. My parents were still arguing, but this time the police were there, and...they were asking about me. My father was raving mad, my mother was sitting on the couch, drink in hand, and several officers were searching the house. As the last note wavered and ended, the door closed, and I opened my eyes, staring at the floor. Should I go back? My heart was wrenching in my chest as memories flogged my mind, bringing back painful remembrances that I had tried so hard to forget. A few tears began to slide down my face.
"You are truly talented, Miss Fitzgerald." I sighed inwardly, recognizing the voice.
"You enjoy walking into my life unannounced, don't you, Captain?" I replied, without looking up.
"Miss Fitzgerald? Are you all right?" The wood floor creaked under his footsteps.
"I'm fine." I wiped away the tears. "So, what have I done now that made you seek me out?"
"The Governor and Elizabeth have invited me to dinner at 7 pm. They said if I were to see you, to extend the invitation to you as well." I met his gaze.
"Really? They told you that?"
"Yes, they did." I smiled with relief.
"I think I will come." He bowed, still eyeing me curiously. I supposed I still had tears stains on my cheeks, so turned my face away from him, putting the cello away and stacking the music on the dresser. There was an awkward silence in which we stood, my back to him.
"You want something from me," I said, half turning but not looking at him.
"In a sense, yes."
"What kind of sense?"
"You know what happened in the fort's library."
"And you want me to apologize, ask for your forgiveness?"
"Yes, dammit! Have you no respect for the rules put in place for society, for the feelings of others?"
"I do have respect for them, and use them when necessary! But if I were you, I would ask myself the second part of your question. You put too much value on the rules of society, so much that you have forgotten how to feel! It's all rules to you!"
"Oh, and I suppose you know how to feel perfectly well! Have you ever thought that perhaps you might feel too much, that maybe feeling is not everything? I must retain the rules of society and those of the navy, go by them as is my duty and in my nature to do so! You put too much value on feelings, and not enough on society's rules!"
"I do not, sir! I have given up on feelings and rules because where I come from they don't exactly apply! Or did you not see the bruises and scars on my face when I first came here? I know you were there the first day I woke up!" We were on the verge of screaming at each other, our voices raised in anger.
"Miss Fitzgerald, I must ask ye wot...." said Mrs. Mason, coming in.
"Get out!" Norrington and I barked in unison. Her face paled, and she shut the door behind her quickly as she left.
"For your information I have been through a whole load of shit in my life, and I have my reasons for wanting to feel more emotion than you might be willing to let into your life, Captain. I have been covering up my emotions for a long time, and now that I've finally found a life I'm pleased with, I find that the rules of society don't even let me have emotions! Don't you know what it's like to have emotions bottled up inside you and be unable to let them out?" I told him. "What's your excuse, huh? You have this giant stick up your ass that makes you replicate a complete jackass!"
"I am not a jackass!" he whispered in anger. "I am an officer in the British Royal Navy, and as is my duty I must adhere to the rules put in place by the navy and society! You should know that my own father gave me a very strict upbringing, and if my mother had not been alive, he probably would have beaten the rules into me. He was an army man, and I abhor the army. The navy provided an escape, and it intrigued me, had intrigued me since I was a child. The navy is my life, Miss Fitzgerald. If I loose that, I have nothing else. What I have gained and accomplished thus far in rank, respect from others and status is of my own doing. You may call me proud, and yes, I am proud, but perhaps not in the way you think." I was silent. He only half understood. His parents had at least cared about him.
Tears brimmed, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of bringing me to tears.
"You've still got a stick up your ass," I said, "you're still stuck- up. I think all that achievement may have gone to your head. Try loving someone." I brushed past him to the door. "If you're finished I'd appreciate it if you'd leave, Captain." I jerked the door open, waiting for him to leave.
"I do have feelings for someone – Elizabeth Swann," he replied, then stalked out. My mouth pulled down into a frown, shaking as the tears made my chest tighten. Slamming the door, I plunged my head into the pillow, and cried.
Get away from me
This isn't gonna be easy
But I don't need you
Believe me
You got a piece of me
But it's just a little piece of me
And I don't need anyone
And these days I feel like I'm fading away
Disclaimer: lyrics belong to the Counting Crows
Talia the Flame: Thanks. Glomp away – he needs it.
Thanks to everyone else who reviewed...glad you enjoyed it and I sincerely apologize for the wait in the updating. School and graduation....
I remember me
And all the little things that make up a memory
Like she said she loved to watch me sleep
Like she said:
"It's the breathing, it's the breathing in and out and in and..." I guess I thought that someone would notice
I guess I thought somebody would say something
If I was missing
Can't you see me?
I picked up the bow, the cello leaning against me. The music was laid out on the bed. I quickly played a scale, the cello being tuned already. It was the Unaccompanied Cello Suite Prelude, No. 1, G Major. I hoped this would relax me.
So, placing the bow on the strings and positioning my fingers, I took a deep breath, and began to play with the exhale.
I lost myself in the music, you might say. As the music lilted, slowed, went faster, my eyes closed, letting the music guide my fingers. And then I saw it – my way home. A door, in the fort, into what appeared to be one of the offices – it went into my time. I continued to play, and the door opened and I saw into 2004. My parents were still arguing, but this time the police were there, and...they were asking about me. My father was raving mad, my mother was sitting on the couch, drink in hand, and several officers were searching the house. As the last note wavered and ended, the door closed, and I opened my eyes, staring at the floor. Should I go back? My heart was wrenching in my chest as memories flogged my mind, bringing back painful remembrances that I had tried so hard to forget. A few tears began to slide down my face.
"You are truly talented, Miss Fitzgerald." I sighed inwardly, recognizing the voice.
"You enjoy walking into my life unannounced, don't you, Captain?" I replied, without looking up.
"Miss Fitzgerald? Are you all right?" The wood floor creaked under his footsteps.
"I'm fine." I wiped away the tears. "So, what have I done now that made you seek me out?"
"The Governor and Elizabeth have invited me to dinner at 7 pm. They said if I were to see you, to extend the invitation to you as well." I met his gaze.
"Really? They told you that?"
"Yes, they did." I smiled with relief.
"I think I will come." He bowed, still eyeing me curiously. I supposed I still had tears stains on my cheeks, so turned my face away from him, putting the cello away and stacking the music on the dresser. There was an awkward silence in which we stood, my back to him.
"You want something from me," I said, half turning but not looking at him.
"In a sense, yes."
"What kind of sense?"
"You know what happened in the fort's library."
"And you want me to apologize, ask for your forgiveness?"
"Yes, dammit! Have you no respect for the rules put in place for society, for the feelings of others?"
"I do have respect for them, and use them when necessary! But if I were you, I would ask myself the second part of your question. You put too much value on the rules of society, so much that you have forgotten how to feel! It's all rules to you!"
"Oh, and I suppose you know how to feel perfectly well! Have you ever thought that perhaps you might feel too much, that maybe feeling is not everything? I must retain the rules of society and those of the navy, go by them as is my duty and in my nature to do so! You put too much value on feelings, and not enough on society's rules!"
"I do not, sir! I have given up on feelings and rules because where I come from they don't exactly apply! Or did you not see the bruises and scars on my face when I first came here? I know you were there the first day I woke up!" We were on the verge of screaming at each other, our voices raised in anger.
"Miss Fitzgerald, I must ask ye wot...." said Mrs. Mason, coming in.
"Get out!" Norrington and I barked in unison. Her face paled, and she shut the door behind her quickly as she left.
"For your information I have been through a whole load of shit in my life, and I have my reasons for wanting to feel more emotion than you might be willing to let into your life, Captain. I have been covering up my emotions for a long time, and now that I've finally found a life I'm pleased with, I find that the rules of society don't even let me have emotions! Don't you know what it's like to have emotions bottled up inside you and be unable to let them out?" I told him. "What's your excuse, huh? You have this giant stick up your ass that makes you replicate a complete jackass!"
"I am not a jackass!" he whispered in anger. "I am an officer in the British Royal Navy, and as is my duty I must adhere to the rules put in place by the navy and society! You should know that my own father gave me a very strict upbringing, and if my mother had not been alive, he probably would have beaten the rules into me. He was an army man, and I abhor the army. The navy provided an escape, and it intrigued me, had intrigued me since I was a child. The navy is my life, Miss Fitzgerald. If I loose that, I have nothing else. What I have gained and accomplished thus far in rank, respect from others and status is of my own doing. You may call me proud, and yes, I am proud, but perhaps not in the way you think." I was silent. He only half understood. His parents had at least cared about him.
Tears brimmed, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of bringing me to tears.
"You've still got a stick up your ass," I said, "you're still stuck- up. I think all that achievement may have gone to your head. Try loving someone." I brushed past him to the door. "If you're finished I'd appreciate it if you'd leave, Captain." I jerked the door open, waiting for him to leave.
"I do have feelings for someone – Elizabeth Swann," he replied, then stalked out. My mouth pulled down into a frown, shaking as the tears made my chest tighten. Slamming the door, I plunged my head into the pillow, and cried.
Get away from me
This isn't gonna be easy
But I don't need you
Believe me
You got a piece of me
But it's just a little piece of me
And I don't need anyone
And these days I feel like I'm fading away
Disclaimer: lyrics belong to the Counting Crows
Talia the Flame: Thanks. Glomp away – he needs it.
Thanks to everyone else who reviewed...glad you enjoyed it and I sincerely apologize for the wait in the updating. School and graduation....