Day 0

John's restless as he sits in the mission briefing. He rubs his forehead then scratches at his chest. He needs some sleep. The last mission took a lot out of him. He scratches his forehead then rubs his chest. He can't seem to concentrate on the conversation and wants nothing more than to leave.

So far he's missed most of what Teyla has said. "My father's father discovered the Luminaté in his boyhood. Quite advanced, peaceful. Fair traders."

"Planet Luminance," Elizabeth says, smiling. "Beautiful name."

"And from what I remember of my father's tales, the planet and the great city itself live up to it. Breath-taking was the description."

John scans the others: Teyla, Ford, McKay and Elizabeth all look relaxed and rested. Jerks. McKay's stuffing his face with some kind of sandwich, but John can't smell it. Better not be the last of the turkey, or I'm gonna be kicking some ass later.

"And the bad news?" John mutters, once again attacking the spot over his right eye. Must be a stray hair tickling him. But there's another itch on the left side of his chest he can't get rid of either. He feels like a cat having a feather toy brushed against his body and he just wants to attack it…and whoever's holding the toy!

Teyla raises her brows as she speaks to him. "Sadly, I am unsure if they are…still around. My people lost contact with them over a generation ago."

John makes a face, giving the impression he's actually paying attention, but in fact he's contemplating a shower. He can't stop scratching.

"More than a hundred years?" McKay says around a mouthful of food. "So, why bother. If the Wraith wiped them out-"

"We need supplies," Elizabeth says. "We need medicine."

"You said peaceful," Ford raises his brows. "Not Genii peaceful, right?"

"Again Lieutenant, I have never met them. There is a risk."

John shrugs and rolls his head trying to release some of the tension in his neck. "Risk, adventure… makes life worth living."

McKay smirks. "Only if you manage to stay alive, Major."

Elizabeth rises to leave. Ford, Teyla and McKay follow. John is ready to go, literally itching to get out of there since the meeting began...not that he can remember when it started—seems like a lifetime ago—he can barely remember anything that took place.

"So, it's a mission," Elizabeth says. "Be careful. And Rodney…polite. We don't need any more enemies."

McKay huffs and whines. "That wasn't my fault."

"Let's not lay blame." John concentrates on getting out of the chair. He presses his hands into the table and pushes, straining his arms, but his lower body doesn't move. It's as if he's been glued to the chair. Rodney!

"Major?" Elizabeth raises a brow.

John finally gives up and drops his hands onto the table. "I can't move."

McKay chuckles. "Well, of course not. You're dead."

John looks sharply at McKay. What the-

But before he can say anything, Ford slaps John's shoulder and grins at him. "Do you think you're a super hero? You took-" he looks to McKay. "What was it?"

"100 million volts."

Elizabeth crosses her arms and her brows shoot up and she grins. "Shocking." Laughing at her own joke, she gets the other three chuckling as well. John can't believe his ears.

Conversationally, McKay adds, "It's not the volts that get you. It's the amps."

"Wait-" John starts but Teyla cuts him off.

"I thought you said he drowned."

Ford and McKay respond at the same time. "After."

Elizabeth bobs her head, still grinning. "Oh, right. Light bulb to submarine."

Teyla nods as well, making a face. "I'd be pissed."

John's floored by Teyla's comment. "What?" Something is so wrong here!

"Must've lit up like a Christmas tree," Elizabeth says, heading for the open doors. The foursome leaves him behind as if he didn't exist.

"Christmas," Ford says on the way out. "Are we celebrating that this year?"

John closes his eyes, willing his body to move. Just as he begins to rise from the chair—a brilliant white light flashes before his eyes or from behind his eyes, he can't be sure. All he knows is it hurts like hell and he wants to scream…but his voice is missing.

John blinks and his eyes slowly focus. He blinks again and dodges his gaze away from the pain inducing brightness. Beyond the beam, he catches sight of Carson, flicking a pen–light into his eyes.

"There he is," Carson drawls. He takes away the light and smiles at John. "Good to have you back, Major."

John jerks, suddenly wide awake. His head is killing him and he touches the spot…the same spot that itched before. There's a bandage over his right brow. "How long have I been out?" John's eyes roam over the immediate area, trying to maintain focus.

To his right, Carson looks down at him with a sympathetic smile. "Nearly a week," Carson says.

And to his left…whoa! John knows he's gaping, but can't control himself at the sight of the nurse checking his I.V.

"But, Ashri here's been taking grand care of you," Carson adds.

Since no one else is around, John assumes Carson is referring to the twenty or thirty something raven–haired, snow–white beauty… damn! Where did she come from? He's sure he would have remembered seeing this gorgeous creature before. It's not like he's never been stranded in the infirmary for an indomitable period of time.

Not that he's some dog checking out all the female members of the expedition, he does have other things to think about. Who the hell are you trying to kid, John. Okay so maybe he is a dog, but…no man could forget this woman…not ever.

When she turns away from him, he sees her rich black hair hangs in a single braid all the way to the tops of her thighs, which he easily imagines being just as long and exceptionally toned. Not that the medical uniform she wears gives a hint of her actual attributes, but…well being a guy, John has a wonderful imagination. In fact…he's imagining all sorts of-

"Major," Carson's snapping his fingers in front of John's eyes.

John rips his gaze from the nurse and blinks at the Scotsman. "I don't remember her," he says quietly.

Carson shrugs. "No reason you should. She's a quiet lass. Keeps to herself. Hasn't spoken a word in…well...ever it seems. Though I do believe she has an eye for Dr. McKay."

"Rodney?" John's heart thumps heavily as illogical and yet immediate jealousy takes hold. "No way."

Carson raises his brows and smirks. "Aye. Makes you wish you were awake for all those sponge baths, now. Eh, Major." He raises a brow at Carson, who's grinning slyly. John's about to say something decidedly off-color, but Ashri turns and looks at him, stopping his thoughts in an instant.

Her serene almond-shaped eyes are pools of dark chocolate he could easily drown himself in. He's drawn into them…into her. And he suddenly feels very warm and content. There's something about her, something he hasn't seen in so long. He's been around beautiful women before, in fact, he works closely with two of them, but this…

She catches him watching her and drops her gaze shyly. John is intrigued by the sudden blush that creeps up over her neck and cheeks. He licks his dry lips thinking of something witty to say. He tries to sit up, but the sharp pain in his chest and a gentle hand from Carson on his shoulder encourage him to remain lying down. "You've had a hard time of it, lad. Take it easy."

Carson grins at Ashri. "Now be gentle, love. He's fragile." Then with a wicked smirk to John, he leaves them alone.

"Wh-" John looks after Carson then quickly shifts his attention to Ashri. "I…I'm not fragile," he says, flashing his dimples.

Without a word, she moves over him, peeling back one side of the red hospital scrub shirt that's been split down the middle and fastened with Velcro for easier access. Thank God the PTB didn't force them to bring along those demoralizing hospital gowns. Ashri's gentle hands pry up the bandage over his heart. Not even a hint of pain from pulled chest hair. She must be an angel!

He looks down and sees the nasty wound, a blackened spot over his heart the size of his fist. Ashri changes the bandage and presses fresh tape into place. Her delicate touch sends pleasant tingles through his body and not just in the naughty places either. He longs to look into those sweet chocolate eyes again. And maybe see a smile. Even a Mona Lisa smile. Please?

Still, she keeps her gaze evasive, even though she must feel his attention on her. His intrigue and yes…attraction. Out of nowhere, he remembers one of his exes remarking about his amorous gazes. She always knew what he wanted when he flashed his dangerous look her way.

And then he remembers the quick glimpse of Ashri's eyes; of what he saw in them. It's been so long he almost didn't recognize it. Too many years in the service had turned him into a cynic. Well, not a complete one…he did see it.

Her attention shifts to the bandage on his forehead. He tries to catch her gaze, but she dodges him. Her cheeks still hold a bit of the pink from the earlier blush and she catches her bottom lip with her teeth. John can also see a slight tremor in her hands as she raises them to tend to his wound and the description of his 'dangerous' look returns instantly to mind.

"Don't be afraid of me," he says in his most sincere voice possible.

This gets her attention and her eyes lock onto his. Again he sees the most beautiful sight imaginable, not just her face or her eyes or even the slight…yes, very slight, shy smile she offers him in response that makes his belly flutter. No, he sees her.

The epitome of complete and utter innocence.

She holds his gaze this time. Her smile grows a tiny bit and he hears her melodic voice, but swears her mouth doesn't move. "Be still," she says without actually speaking and passes her right hand over his eyes—a subdued white light beams into his eyes or from behind them, he can't be sure. And he feels warm and tingly all over.

John blinks away Carson's pen-light and jerks awake, sitting up fast and instantly regretting it, he drops back against the pillows, looking around, seeing Teyla, Ford, Elizabeth and McKay—eating a power bar—surrounding the infirmary bed.

"Hello, Major," Carson drawls. "Glad ya could finally join us, lad."

"What the-"

"We were worried," Teyla says placing her hand on his shoulder.

"Good to have you back," Elizabeth adds from the foot of the bed. She tries to keep her face neutral, but he can see the relief sparkling in her green eyes. John feels a surge of protectiveness for her. He knows how much she relies on his presence. The weight of command can be overpowering and though he has no delusions about Elizabeth's abilities, she's only human and needs support; whether she asks for it or not.

McKay, on the other hand, has one arm across his chest, supporting the other arm feeding his face. "I wasn't worried. Too much stress in that."

John grimaces at the scientist, but knows full-well if the guy didn't care at least a bit, he wouldn't be here now. "What happened?" John asks.

"You were hit by lightning," Carson says. "And, well, you died."

"I died?"

Carson presses his lips together and nods. "Technically. Only for a few minutes, though lad. You're fine now."

Ford stands between Teyla and Elizabeth. "We got back to you as soon as we could." The kid looks tired, but grins as usual.

"You've been unconscious about a week now," Carson adds.

"You said that the last time."

Carson's brows crease. "Last time?"

"Yeah," John starts. "I woke up and you left that nurse…Ashri-"

Carson's confusion is evident as his eyes dart from John to the others then back to John. He shakes his head. "This is the first time you've been awake, Major. And, I don't have a nurse by that name."

"The brunette, who has a thing for McKay."

McKay leans in, forgetting his Power Bar halfway to his mouth. "A brunette. There's a brunette? How come no one told me there was a brunette?"

"Well, she's more rav…it was his theory," John points at Carson. "I didn't buy it for a second. Way outta your league."

McKay lets loose one of his sarcastic huffs and says, "She doesn't exist, Major, how can she possibly be out of my league?"

John knows she was there. He knows it. Almost to himself, he says, "She was changing my bandage-" He touches his forehead; the bandage is gone and he doesn't find an injury. This doesn't make any sense. He felt her touch.

Carson moves in and pulls John's red shirt open and the zzzp of the Velcro echoes in John's ears. Was it all a dream? Did he simply make up this amazingly beautiful woman out of thin air?

Carson's fingering the bandage on John's chest. "It does look like it needs a change. Hold still, Major." And Carson grips the edge of the bandage and rips away before John can stop him.

"Owwwyou'rethedevil!" John howls as a yellowish-white light flashes in his eyes.

Sunshine from the windows and the blue light from the event horizon dance on the gate room ceiling as the room spins into view. John's lying flat on his back trying to force his mind to focus. From out of his line of sight Teyla leans over, wearing full gear, and looks down at him. "Are you all right, Major?"

In another direction, John hears Ford's voice, but can't see him. "Medical emergency in the gate room." Followed by McKay's irritated: "Shut it down, we're not going."

John sits up, clutching his chest as the gate turns off behind him. He's dressed in full gear also, as are Ford and McKay. He raises his eyes to look at the others. In front of him, Elizabeth hurries down the stairs looking less than thrilled. "Take it easy, Major."

"I'm fine."

"I'd like Dr. Beckett to see about that," Elizabeth says, crossing her arms over her chest.

John gets to his feet as Carson arrives with Ashri. At the sight of her, he's taken aback and pauses, glancing at everyone then taking a step towards the nurse. She backs away, slightly behind Carson. "Who are you?" he asks.

"Major?" Elizabeth steps forward, protectively. "Ashri's an important member of our team. She's been here since the beginning."

John looks to Carson. "I thought you said you didn't know her."

"When did I say that?"

"Just a…. In the infirmary…after 446."

McKay pulls out a small packet of cookies from his vest pocket. "Planet Luminance? That was two years ago." He shakes the bag then pulls the top seam apart and pours the contents into his mouth.

John stares at them. I'm surrounded by lunatics!

His gaze drifts and catches sight of Ashri again, still keeping her distance, but watching him with intense, compassionate eyes. He sees the spark of innocence in her, but now there's something else…something older: a bit of wisdom…or understanding even. And though she's keeping her distance, possibly even afraid of him, she's not looking away this time. Not blushing.

Even as the others speak, her gaze never leaves his and he can't bring himself to look away. The others talk around him as if he's not there. Not that he wants to be. He wants to be alone with Ashri, find out who she is. Why she affects him this way.

"It's happening again," Elizabeth says; concern evident in her tone.

"We all knew memory could be affected," Carson offers.

"He should be resting," Ford adds.

"He cannot always be valiant, though he feels he must," Teyla says.

"He's doing this to himself," McKay whines.

"He needs to heal," Elizabeth says.

"He needs you all to stop yammering!" John growls; finally breaking contact with Ashri.

Ford flicks his hand in the air. "Now look, you've upset him. Happy McKay?"

"Oh, please," McKay starts. "You're all just making it up as you go along. Trying to make him feel more comfortable."

As one, the others turn toward John and start talking to him all at once.

Elizabeth asks, "Is it working?"

Teyla gently touches his arm. "Are you comfortable?"

Carson takes a step forward. "Do you need to lie down?"

Ford's all smiles. "Would you like a pillow?"

John shakes his head. "Who are you people?" He raises a brow and waggles his finger. "Is this your way of telling me we never left that misty planet?"

"If you recall," McKay says, crunching cookies and flicking crumbs off his vest. "That wasn't really a mist."

Teyla takes her hand from his arm. "Major, don't you know where you are?"

As John turns to reply to Teyla, all the lights go out, including the sun.

Pitch black. He can't even see his hand in front of his face. He's concerned about moving, more than likely he'll bump into something and break a toe, or worse. He might not even be in the same room as before.

Ever so slowly, blessed blue lights rise around the gatrium stairs and Stargate. John looks around for the others, but they're gone. He's alone, standing in the same spot. The entire place looks and sounds deserted. John reaches for his headset…but it's not there. He looks down and sees his clothes are different. Very different. He's wearing black slacks and a white dress shirt with an undone bow–tie draped around his open collar; basically a disheveled tux. Someone's gonna answer for this. I hate monkey suits!

A delicate hand touches his shoulder from behind. John turns, finding a stunning Ashri gazing up at him. She's wearing an elegant silver dress that glimmers in the blue light. Somewhere in the air, familiar romantic music begins to play.

John gently pulls her into his embrace and they start to slowly dance. She seems to know how. He holds her right hand in his, close to his chest and gazes into her lovely face. After a few moments, realization settles and he remembers. "Same music, same dress." He raises an amused brow. "Different date, though."

He dips her dramatically, eyes glued to hers. "You didn't go to my high school." He pulls her back up and holds her close. The warmth of her body against his is invigorating and pleasantly distracting; her curves meld easily against his form, as if the empty space has always been waiting for her. John never wants to let her go. He wants to explore every part of her with every part of himself. Even as he asks the question, he doesn't really care about the answer as long as she stays with him. "Who are you, really?"

Ashri doesn't pull her gaze from his, even though he knows he's still looking at her as he did the first time: hungrily devouring her with his eyes. As several R-rated scenarios flicker through his mind in quick succession—and maybe a couple NC-17's as well—John sees the innocence return and he mentally kicks himself for his doggish thoughts.

Ashri flattens her right hand over his heart. A soft, golden glow emanates from her palm, it tingles and he chuckles deep in his throat. He places his hand over hers and the glow fades. "Are you messing with me?" He asks and she looks at him quizzically. "You know," he says. "Messing with my head. Playing with my memories?"

Her eyes widen in shock and she shakes her head 'no'. Well at least he knows she can understand him. Even if she doesn't talk. Maybe he could get some info out of her by playing twenty questions. It's not like he's eager to be pulled out of her arms.

She smiles suddenly and his heart nearly bursts from his chest. She's too beautiful for words. It's taking all his strength to contain his desires. She's so unlike any other woman he's ever met. He can see it in her eyes, there are no games, no manipulations, no lies…just complete trust and…

Ohmygod!

John never thought it possible. Even his parents never looked at him this way, though they swore differently. It's against human nature. People always place limitations or restrictions on their feelings. People have rules.

When Ashri gazes up at him, the feelings she expresses touch him so deeply he can barely breathe. He's only felt it one time before: when he was thirteen.

Neighbors, kids, even his parents made fun of him. His mom told him he was obsessed. His dad wanted him to see a shrink, but couldn't force the issue (not on military wages). John had fallen head over heels in love with Sheba. Not romantically, but unconditionally…without boundaries or qualifications.

He'd swore he'd do anything for her and he knew, in his heart, that his love was returned fully. He knew then that there were such things as souls and he'd found one to match his own. And Sheba loved him to the day she died.

She was six weeks old when he found her laying in the gutter. She looked up at him with big blue eyes and without a sound, begged him to take her home. He hid her for a good month before she started quietly barking and his parents found out. By then she'd gained a good deal of weight and started looking like the champion Black Labrador she'd been meant to be all along. She too had been beyond beautiful. Her solid black form looked nearly blue in the light, and her blue eyes, such an odd color for Labs, held so much knowledge and understanding. John felt awed and gifted to be near her every day.

Nine years later, just before he was to join the Airforce, Sheba's broken heart nearly killed him. John truly believed part of him died that day. Sheba had a congenital heart problem that didn't come to light until it was too late. She hung on for that final year, taking her meds, going to the vet, whatever it took, she did it without complaint, without a whimper…for him. John knew it sounded crazy—at the time he refused to admit it to himself, let alone anyone else—but deep down, he knew. She stayed with him until he was ready to say goodbye. And when he did, she left peacefully, in her sleep.

Unconditional love. The stuff of poems, songs and the linked hearts of a thirteen year-old boy and his dog.

But not reality. Not from one person to another.

John's heart swells at the thought that Ashri loves him like that. How could he not want someone to look at him with so much trust and understanding? Someone who would never judge his actions, who would never condemn him for anything. A woman who could know every part of him: good, bad and ugly; and still love him completely. How could he not respond in kind?

Because, he chides himself, you don't know this girl. She doesn't really know you. You can't possibly have any feelings for her, other than the simple physical. It's infatuation, man! Plain and simple.

He's reading her wrong. Ashri's hiding something from him, playing him…somehow. She has to be. Doesn't she?

And yet when he looks into those luscious brown eyes…

John's voice comes out as a gravelly whisper. "Are you real?" He gently traces a finger down her amazingly smooth cheek. "Or a dream?" She's a gravity well pulling him in without any means of escape. And he doesn't care.

John lifts her chin and leans in for a soft kiss which she welcomes. Her supple lips move under his. It's the tamest and yet most sensual kiss he's ever known.

As before, Ashri's whispered voice floats in the air. "John…wake up."