a/n: wow! sorry it took so long for me to update (I'm usually better about these things...) but i've been REALLY busy the past few days when i meant to update!

quantuminferno: thank you so so much and i hope that i do not disappoint you!

Loser: yes... Erik has a tendency to do such things... :)

inkie pinkie: lol, thank you! hug

Jaded Sapphire: That was my fave part too:) thanks!

wolfegurl006: you should just make it a habit of pointing out great lines, you are very good at it! lol, thanks:)

Moonjava: yes, again i think Erik lives to do such things... :) thanks!

hatred in a box: thank you so so much! You flatter me. blush. hug!

RAOUL POV

He kissed me. That man kissed me!

Yet I can not say that I did not enjoy it, for that would be a lie.

The entire way back to the house and still now as I sit alone in my room I find my lips burning from his touch. Slowly, yet faster then I thought possible, the hate for this man has been subsiding within me, replaced by love. This simple act of compassion and love has been enough to send me over the edge.

Curling into myself as I feel my need for love grow between my legs I try to think of other things, but there is a stinging pain in my cheek and then one in my lips that refuses to go away, a constant reminder of him.

A knock at my door surprises me.

I quickly uncurl, pick up my book from the bedside table, open it and call, "Come in."

Philippe opens the door and walks over to me, sitting on the bed, "Where could you find the stupid little voice in your head that allowed you to agree to pay an extra two thousand francs to the opera house?"

I sigh, re-closing the book, "Philippe, the Opera Ghost was demanding it from the managers!"

"Then let them pay him!" he yells.

"They can't! That's why I'm paying it!" I yell back, sounding quite childish.

"Raoul, I know that you love the opera house, but you can not spend all of our money on it. What makes you think that you can?" he asks.

"I don't think I can, I know that I can't," I lower my eyes from his.

He gently lifts my chin to meet his face once more, "Then why are you doing this? Is it that chorus girl again? You know that I forbid you to marry her, or keep her as any part of this family or household."

"I know," I sigh, "It's not her."

"Then who?" he smirks.

I smile at him slyly, "Since when is it a who?"

"I know you, my brother, and I know when you are in love," is that what I am? In love? With the Phantom?

"They're very nice, and they hold a much higher ranking then any chorus girl," I answer.

"A prima donna?" he smiles.

"Even better," I smile back.

"That's the brother I know!" he embraces me and then stands once more.

Leaving the room he turns back to me, "Just please stop making us go broke!"

"I'll try," I smile to his back as he shuts my door.

My burning passion for my masked lover grows between my legs. Am I really in love with him? It feels a hell of a lot better when I'm with him then it did with Christine. I knew that I never really loved Christine, so could this be love?

I don't really care for now. Blowing out the candles, I gingerly reach my hand down into my pants, searching for relief, if only for tonight.

ERIK POV

I gently lay the roses in a fragile glass vase with nice fresh water on the table where I eat. Their fragrance seems to fill the whole room. That's when I think of moving them to my room, which I do. I look at them, sitting in my coffin bed, which I also canopied. I feel the canopy slowly move to caress the side of my face without the mask and I realize that one of my trapdoors has opened and closed. A warning alarm goes off and I quickly jump out of bed.

I walk out into the main area where I see Madame Giry standing with her back to me, looking at the now empty area where my shrine to Christine used to be.

"You threw it all away," there is sadness in her voice. She hasn't even turned to see me.

"No. I put it away in another room, it was too hard to bear," I answer.

"Not since you found someone else's heart to toy with," she comments.

"What are you suggesting?" I turn her around to face me with a violence that surprises her.

She stands defensively, "You are toying with the Vicomte."

"Hardly," I wave it off.

"Then what was that meeting on the roof all about? The kiss?" she smiles.

"Why must you always spy on me?" I turn to her in helplessness.

"Because, I did not think that things would go as well as they did. I thought he would end up with a broken body, not a broken heart," she comments.

"Nothing I said up there was a lie," I growl.

She stares in shock, "Erik, are you suggesting that you…"

"Yes. I have actually fallen in love with the boy," saying this feels so great, removing this burdening weight from my chest.

"Erik," she sighs, "If you love him then you wouldn't toy with him."

"Then what am I to do?" I ask.

"Oh, my child," she places a hand on my arm.

"I am not your child! My mother hated me," I whisper the last part.

"I think of you as my son, whether you wish for me to or not," she responds.

"Then answer me like a mother would, what should I do?" I plea.

"In a mother's words, tell him. In my words, follow your heart, it will not steer you wrong," she rubs my arm and then turns to leave.

"Thank you," I whisper to her back.

She turns and embraces me as if I were her long lost son, "You're welcome."

Letting go she leaves without another word.

My only problem now is that my heart is so confused.

I go back into my room, change into my sleep clothes, and curl into my coffin, but I stay sitting up. I look over at the roses, and feel drawn to them. Reaching out I pluck one from the vase.

Running it's smooth, velvety petal over my lips I close my eyes and can almost see Raoul in front of me, and there is no rose on my lips, but his own lips in its place. I marvel at his beauty from the distance we must be, but then open my eyes to see him, and find myself face to face with the rose.

Hugging the rose to my chest I feel a thorn prick my hand. Placing the finger in my mouth I realize it is not even bleeding.

How could someone like Raoul, a lively and bright person, ever like a person like me, so dark and dead? It's impossible.

I place the rose back in the vase and sigh heavily. Letting a single tear fall from my eyes, I lie back in the coffin much like a dead man would, and fall into a sleep plagued with pleasant images of my love, my Raoul.

I wish that I could be alive, for him, if only for tonight.

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a/n: well? I'll admit that i started to cry writing this. I will not set a certain goal, but i would like to shoot for 6 reviews. please?