A.N. - Whoo! I thought I should update this before people get around to killing me. At first I thought I was getting fanmail, but now - they are like "Hey man I love ur story, if u don't update soon I'll kill u." Soooo... Please don't get murderous, ne? I've already had to put down my e-mail adress because of the deaththreats. I am so very very scared. O.o

Oh, and I've moved down the rating - after all this I decided not to have a sexscene afterall. DON'T KILL ME! Er... beware of OOC-ness and WTF-ness also (as always). Here goes the long awaited corny goodness!. XD

Taste of Love

XII : Liebestod

I dreamt I died in the flames.

I dreamt I lay there on the floor of the hall, defeated and incinerated.

I dreamt of Vanez crying next to my body.

I vaguely remember feeling a little happy that he actually cared.

. . .and then I dreamt that he grabbed a spear from the nearby wall and killed himself.

And then I woke up, breathing hard and fast. I was in the practice room. I must have fallen asleep straight after practice. The drifting smell of cigarette smoke slowly eased my mind. It's strange, you know - I absolutely HATED the smell of tobacco until I met Vanez. But now - the scent reminds me of him - all our lessons together, the taste of our first kiss, all the laughs, all the tears. In all my memories with him, there was the scent of cigarettes. The bitter, slightly sweet but acidic smell of tobacco was almost calming.

Almost.

It would have been calming if I didn't happen to remember that the man who was the source of the tobacco scent had just told me exactly how he felt about my loving him. Nil, zilch, nada, naught, zippity zip nothing. He had no feelings for me.

It would have also perhaps been calming if I didn't happen to be leaning on the said man's shoulder whilst asleep.

I flopped my head up, blinking and quickly leaning away from him. He took no notice, inhaling another lungful of smoke from his cigarette.

'Get any sleep?' He said, eyes straight ahead.

'. . . Some,' I answered, biting my lip.

I hated the awkward tension that now took up the space between us. The physical distance, yes, but - more the mental distance. He didn't try to touch me, he didn't smirk in that wonderfully perverted way - I couldn't feel the warmth I used to feel from him. It made me crave for each of those things a hundred times more than I used to.

'Well. . . ,' he finally looked at me, with those empty loveless eyes, and sighed along with a whiff of smoke, 'Today's the day.'

'. . . . Yeah.'

'Nervous?'

'. . . Not really. You taught me all I need, I've practiced all I could. It's just luck now.'

'Good. That's the attitude I want, my dear student.'

He smiled. He smiled. It was the first smile in a whole day or so - and it almost made me teary with relief. Good, I hadn't made his life utterly miserable by confessing my love to him, afterall.

He stood up, dusted his back off, then held out a hand. I stared at it, unsure of what to do. My body was demanding I take it. I wanted it, I needed the contact so badly. But my mind detested it. After being refused, I couldn't crush my pride by taking his hand. I blinked at him - he raised an eyebrow, then grabbed my wrist and pulled me up forcefully.

'Ready for the trial? Better get there early, you wouldn't want to be late, eh?'

As soon as I got to the Hall of Flames, I was torn away from Vanez by Gavner and Paris. They gave me sleek, wet, non-flammable clothes to wear for the duration of the trial, into which I swiftly changed.

Before I knew it I was dragged over to the Hall. It was a little larger than the practice room, with more flame-holes. . . I could already feel my heart thumping fast. Vanez ran towards me, then stood in front, awkwardly stuffing his hands in his pockets.

'Kurda. . . . .'

'Yeah?'

'I'm sorry about what I said. . . .earlier today. . ,' he mumbled, staring fixedly at the ground.

Why now? Why, of all times, this, now?

'Forget it,' I stared hard at my rubber-material-covered feet.

'Look. . . . .'

I didn't look.

He grabbed my hand.

I looked.

He pushed something in my hand.

'I want you to have this.'

I opened my palm.

It was a plain silver ring. On a chain. I blinked. It was beautiful. I frowned as I met his nervous gaze.

'Vanez. . . .'

'I gave it to my mate before she died. They're a pair, you see. . . er. . . ,' he mumbled, pulling out a chain from under his shirt - with the same ring dangling on it. 'Please keep it. If - if you don't mind having it, of course,' he added quickly, looking away. I blinked.

'But. . . are you sure you want to. . . I mean it's your mate's. . .'

'Kurda, I may not be able to love you - but I care for you so much. I want you to keep it. . . as a . . as a good luck charm.'

I turned the ring slowly in my hand, admiring the light it shot back at me, reflecting the warm rays from the room candles. Fine letters were engraved on the side. I smiled.

'. . . Liebestod.'

'. . . .Remember my oath?'

'I die, you die. . . right?'

'Right.'

'Please - you don't have to keep that promise. I don't want you to die, you know that - please, Vane---'

It was a guilty kiss. I could feel perfectly the guilt in his lips, the guilt in my lips. It was awkward, yet sweet like every other kiss he ever gave me. I didn't push him away. I couldn't. This may as well be our last one. To hell with my stupid pride - I knew I still wanted him. I closed my eyes, and felt Vanez take the chain from my grip and fasten it around my neck.

He gave me a brief one-armed hug, and whispered into my ear - 'See you right here, Kurda - that or I'll see you in heaven.'

'Hell, you mean.'

I grinned. He laughed, ruffled my hair like he did on the day we first met - and walked off towards the exit. I blinked, shaking myself out of the daze.

'Thankyou!' I shouted after his back - he replied by waving his hand lazily, but didn't look back.

I held the ring in my hand, squeezing it tightly. I guessed going to hell wasn't too bad - if Vanez would come with me.

The trial started with exact precision, with the first hiss heard simultaneously with the closing door indicating the commencement. I didn't dodge it. Vanez told me not to dodge the ones I knew would hurt me but wouldn't kill me. If I dodged ones like those and jumped into a lethal one - it made me shudder just to think of it. The flame burnt my right hip but I stayed standing - it wasn't that bad, I could still move, I---

HISS.

Right under me. I take a quick but thoughtful step to the left, making sure no hisses were heard from that direction. A huge wall of flame bursted out from the ground where I was a second ago. It sent a chill up my mind to think what would've happened if I didn't---

HISS.

A burst of fire right in front of my face. My fringe sizzled.

HISS. HISS.

Right and left. Elbows burnt.

HISS HISS HISS.

Panic. Jump aside. Left. Knee, pain.

HISS.

Backwards. Stumble. Slump. Against wall.

HISS HISS.

Straight in front - wall of fire - what the hell - it's only a few minutes into the damn - HISS.

HISSHISSHISSHISSHISS

Can't remember which directions the hisses came fro--- HISS--- Flames! Cheek - burn - pain - legs - stumble - got. to. get. back. to. the centre!

The hissing stops.

. . .Silence.

More silence. . .

HISS.

HISS HISS HISS HISS

So much hissing - so many flames - dodge - fall over - abdomen in flames - pain, pain, PAIN!

HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Continuous - flames - walls - air - where' the air - can't breathe - so much smoke - smoke - Vanez - help! - gasp - air - no air ---

I slump against the corner. Corner? How did I get here, I can't - breathe - Vanez told me never to go anywhere near the corner, I need to get out---

HISSS.

Right in front. HISS. Under. HISS. Right. I'm going to be SIZZLED. BURNT. DEAD.

No - I can't die - I can't, I can't, because if I do - Vanez is going to die, I can't let him die, I don't want him to die, please, god, let me breathe, at least - I can't see - I can hardly . . . see - I need to. . .

HISSSSSSS

Something glinting a metre ahead. Squint. Something...shiny. Round...Small...MY RING! It's only silver, if a flame hits it it would melt - how did it fall, I've got to get it, I can't lose it, Vanez gave me it, I can't -

I prepare to jump forward.

HISS.

Right in front. I ignore it and jump. My chest is scorched with a burst of flames - I try to scream - can't - no air left to use in lungs - pick ring up - squeeze it - safe, safe.

HISS.

The corner I was in just a second ago bursted into dozens of shots of flames. I blinked. If I hadn't risked scorching my chest to get the ring - I would have been fried to ashes.

. . . but I guess it made no difference. There was no air. No air, and my mind was blurring. I couldn't keep my eyes open, let alone listen for hisses. Another shot of flame burnt my back, but I only winced.

I kneeled on the ground, and held the ring and chain close to my heart.

I tried, Vanez. I tried - and now - now I fail you.

Hot, ash-black tears roll down my cheeks. Is it even fair that I realise now - that I don't care if he loves me or not? However unrequited it may be, what ever sin it may be, I love him, and that can't change so easily.

'Kurda! Kurda!'

I hear someone. I can't see anything. My lungs aren't working. I feel air but I can't breathe. I choke. I cry. I hurt. I can't scream. I scream.

Lots of flames around me. Or are they people? They hurt. Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't---. . . The flames (people?) are pushed away and something grabs my shoulders. Arms. Arms. . around me. I can't hear properly, I can't see - it's all blurred -

Something soft on my lips.

I couldn't see it, I couldn't feel properly, but I knew -

Because I knew the taste of the tobacco on his lips.

A.N. - Aand so he passes out and on to the next chapter it goes. I know it was short, don't kill me! ToT I swear the next one will be longer, and I won't take 3 months to write it. Only two more chapters to go! Whoo!

The following people own my soul:

brunettebabe, Alasse Fefalas, Spazzbucket, Yayfulness, - for lack of better words - THANKYOU! I LOVE YOU! SQUEE!

beautifulelf1

So much love! LOVE! Did I say love? CHOCOLATE! Um. Hmm, Kurda/Darren is acceptable, but I don't like Darren, so. . . I guess I had to come up with something else. I'm so glad you like this so much (despite the crap corny over-reacting storyline)! I'd love to talk to you more about DS. Thankyou so very much for your encouragement!

Briseis

Aahh! I'm sorry! Don't cry! I know, I'm horrible, I'm mean, I'm awful, but don't cry! I love you! Um. Thankyou for the reviews and encouragement! XD

Fear The Walls Of Jericho

Mmm, I'd love to do Vanez's POV, but then it would be rated MA. XD Thankyou as always for your oh-so-very-useful reviews - I thrive on them, believe me. I LOVE YOU!

LADYDEATH666

I haven't talked to you in ages! Mmm, I do overexaggerate a LOT. XDD But that's what makes every pr0n fic, ain't it? Yes, GO THE BIS! . . .Whoo, yes, I had been having writers' block. . . I'm so sorry. I'll write more often, I swear! Anyhow, thanks so very much for your review - love you! XD

The Freaky Butt Mate

. . . "...then again, by saying he doesn't want to hurt him by lying to him, is he showing him that he may care for him?" It took me like a whole of five minutes to work that out, dammit you smart girl. XD But actually, good idea. (writes it down) Of course you're treasured! SO MUCH LOVE TO MY GREAT MASTER! HAIL THEE!

decayedangelwings

Owch. . . How'd you go on your exams? You want to punch Vancha? Poor thing! He's done nothing! You should be punching Vanez! Anyhow, thankyou so very much for your review!

phantome101

What's in Vanez's cupboard? A "to do - done" list of all the vampires, and perhaps a collection of their boxers and panties, of course! XD Thanks for the review!

azkaban inmate

Whoo! Yay! I converted someone! I'm so glad you like the pairing now. I hope you liked this chapter, and thanks for the review!

Inyx

I find it really awkward to talk to you like this, don't you? Hmm. XD You really like Seyle for hanging-Kurda-over-spikes threat, don't you? XDDD Hmmph. Kurda is such a bumbling little confused pile of angst who is BLOODY HARD TO WRITE ABOUT. About time he grew up. Hmph. XDD "The time he woke up on top of his sire, eh? I want details. Dirty ones, at that." - The details are that of what is in your head. Anything you think about is true for that part. Aww, baby, of course Gavy's not old! I'm sorry if I put it that way. Sausage!Kurda! Anyone for hotdog? XD I loved Kurda getting beaten to a pulp, yes. Mentally, emotionally... maybe next chapter physically? Evra-eyes" YOUR WISH JUST CAME TRUE! YAAY!

Showjumper916

Waai! Someone actually approves of my writing style! Yay! Thankyou! Love you! I hope you do get around to getting a ffnet account!

Kirin the Vampiress

Yes, we're all influenced fans! Ouch, Physical Science! Is that Physics? Ewww, I can't stand physics. . . I like Biology and Chemistry much better. How'd you go on your tests? He came to japan, yes! But I was in Australia. . . ToT Damn. Did you get to see DS? Anyhow, thankyou very very much for your review, love you!

cold-night09

YAY! You like Vancha! I'm so glad. Have all the books come out now over there? Isn't Evanna cool? I love her too. STEVE! SQUEE. How's school going? Life? XD Can't wait to talk to you again. Thanks for the review!

Silver Sky Magician

Eep, I'm sorry, I've never had the time to upload the Laruku songs! I'm sure you've found most, though. They're very download-able. Need. To. Watch. FMA. MOVIE.

Come on, you know you want to click that pretty little submit review button. It's a lot of fun. Try it.