Title: Hidden Scars
Genres: Angst, introspective, reminiscent
Warnings: General death and reminiscing of death (nothing described in detail)
Characters/Pairings: Treize Kushrenada and Zechs Merquise Friendship
Word Count: 1021
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The inspiration for this piece was taken from the anime Gundam Wing and livejournal community beatofdestiny themes Death and War Within
Summary: Zechs Merquise comes home from his first battle and must learn to accept death committed by his own hands, struggling to remember why he chose such a burden in the first place.

Hidden Scars

It was a meaningless dispute. That's all it was, yet he was forced to do the unthinkable. With one press of a button, he killed a man and sealed his fate. No longer could he hold the dream of returning to the Sanct Kingdom un-bloodied, unsullied, and untainted. He was now a soldier through and through.

Zechs huddled in the cockpit of his mobile suit, unwilling to leave the cramped space and face the so-called real world where he'd be praised for his quick thinking and fast reflexes. He did not want others to congratulate him on a kill well done.

Nostrils flaring, breath heavy in the darkness, he didn't know how he could live with himself. He ruined his family's name with the atrocities committed today. He threw aside his father's ideal of pacifism to pick up the red-tainted glove of battle. His soul ached with the weight.

Teeth clenching, Zechs tried to battle back the hysteria threatening him with insanity. Eight years ago, a few weeks after his eleventh birthday, Romefeller destroyed his ancestral home and everyone gathered within it. They chose the perfect time too, waiting for a family reunion to gather to celebrate the newest addition to the family, a niece on his mother's side and his cousin.

He was spared only because he was hiding in the forest nearby away from the gaggles of females cooing over his cousin. He would never forget it. Mobile suits had come from out of nowhere, blasting the keep with bullets and shells, decimating it's once grand walls to allow ground troops to infiltrate its doors. The screams had been terrifying as guests scattered and servants begged for their lives while bullets sliced through the air picking off each and every one of them.

He went into shock seeing his family fall one by one. No one was spared. Hours later, he came to in the old gardener's shed, one of the remaining surviving servants. It had taken him weeks to remember the events fully, and months longer to sleep through the night.

It had taken him several years to come to terms with the burning desire for revenge. No, it wasn't your typical revenge, but rather the type where one defied the very beings who thought to wipe out an unfulfilled threat. He was going to return the Sanct kingdom to the Peacecraft name.

Watching the news had revealed to him the path he needed to pursue at the tender age of fourteen. He saw Darlian standing outside a plane with a little girl, eight years old or so, hiding behind him. He would recognize her anywhere. It was Relena. Somehow, she had survived the massacre.

Relena. Clarity pierced the shroud covering his mind as a plan unfolded with startling simplicity. For her, he would do anything. He would become a soldier of Oz, the very organization that helped Romefeller destroy his family, and in turn, he would one day destroy them by giving to Relena their ancestral home free of soldiers and war.

Determination lined his shoulders and steeled his heart as he set out that day to petition the Academy for training as a soldier. Everyday he worked on his own to pass the necessary tests. And one day, he became a soldier.

But was it worth it?

Zechs smashed his hand into the cockpit, anger suffusing his body. He no longer knew the answer to that question. Eyes closed behind the safety of his mask, he fought to come to terms with his choice.

Unnoticed went the hiss of the door opening into the quiet hanger and the man who stood outside.

Unnoticed went the understanding look shining in his blue eyes.

"Zechs, it is time for you leave. Everyone is gone."

Zechs opened his eyes and glared through the narrow slit of his visor at the man who had seen untapped potential in him and guided his career thus far. "Is it worth this?" he hissed, needing guidance yet again from his mentor, from his friend.

Treize gazed solemnly at his protégée. He would one day become as great as he if his ambitions held firm. His motives were pure and untainted with greed. He just had to survive the blood staining his soul. "I don't now. You'll have to answer that question yourself someday. For now, know that you did well. If you had not shot down that man then another of your comrades would have or else died along with him."

Short, staccato laughter infiltrated the empty hanger. "That's poor comfort."

"It was not meant to be comfort. You chose to follow the life of a soldier and there is no comfort in that."

Stillness flooded his frame as Zechs pondered his words. There was often a hidden meaning in his words, a double-edged sword few understood, and he was normally not left in the dark for long.

Releasing his held breath, he smiled cruelly. Yes, there was no comfort to be found as a soldier. There was only the belief that his death prevented the deaths of innocents like Relena. His sins showed the atrocity of war in its fullest glory, bringing to light the unnecessary waste of human life. His sins would one day allow people to yearn for a peace that only his sister could give to them.

And he would one day owe it all to the one man who understood the war within his own soul because Treize was constantly at war with himself. It would be years before he fully comprehended the path he chose for the second time that day.

Taking the hand patiently waiting in front of him, he undid the straps holding him in place and left the mobile suit to sit alone in the darkness. Walking side by side, the two friends left the hanger to adjourn to Treize's suite. It was a night to seek solace in quiet chambers, concentrating only on a game of chess and ignoring the stain spreading across their features. It was a night for friends to forget themselves in death's ever present silence.

Author's note: I'm just starting to get into GW fanfic and would really appreciate any tips on characterization or any other feedback you'd care to give me. Thanks!