Lily sat on the roof of the mansion, staring out at the trees, watching the sun set between them. John had gone in to serve his detention, finally, so she chose to be alone on the roof.
"Lily! Where did you go?" she heard a voice call. She moved to her knees, and then up to her feet, looking over the edge. Nightcrawler was looking around, his tail waving about behind him.
"Kurt, I'm up here!" she called. He turned around, and smiled up at her, his teeth glowing in contrast to his blue skin. She smiled. He teleported, and stood beside her.
"Why are you up here?" he asked, in his German accent. She shrugged, and sat back down.
"It's peaceful. I can sit up here in silence, and think, and watch the sunset, or sunrise…depending on when you look at it….why were you looking for me?" she asked, dropping her chin against her chest, closing her eyes for a second. Kurt shrugged.
"Because you weren't at dinner, and I was a little confused," he answered, sitting beside her. "Are you happy?" he asked. She opened her eyes, and stared at the roof.
"What?"
"Are you alright?" he asked. She raised an eyebrow, and looked at him.
"Didn't you just ask if I was happy?"
"No…" Shrugging to herself, she nodded.
"I'm fine. A bit tired, but I'm alright. How are you feeling?"
"Good…"
"Everyone still treating you nice?" He nodded.
"I like it here. No worrying about what you may have to do to survive when you wake up, because you're surrounded by people just like you…"
"I know what you mean…" They sat in silence, watching the sun set, and finally, she pushed herself up. "I'm ready to go back in now…" He stood, giving her a hug, and closed his eyes. When he opened them, they stood in the hallway. "Thanks, Kurt…"
"Welcome…" He turned, heading down the hallway, and she turned, to start to her room, but cried out as she slammed into John.
"Whoa, whoa, easy, Lily!" he exclaimed, as she leapt back. She took a breath, and sighed, smiling.
"Sorry…you surprised me…" He leaned over, kissing her cheek.
"Kinda figured…"
"You still got detention?"
"Nope. Finished up about ten minutes ago, came looking for you." He slid his arms around her waist, hugging her, and led her out the door.
"Where are we goin'?" she asked, watching the doors slam shut behind her.
"For a walk…I wanna talk to you," he said, pushing the gate closed behind them. She knitted her eyebrows together, and looked at him.
"About what?" He didn't answer her, but led her into the trees, and thru the forest. "John?" she asked, her voice kind of shaky. He still didn't answer. She watched the trees thin out, and she found herself staring out at a lake. The surface rippled in the warm breeze, and glittered in the dying light like diamonds. "Oh my god…This is beautiful…I didn't even know this was here," she murmured. John pulled her down to the ground, and sat behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She moved a bit, and looked behind her. "John, what is it you brought me out here for?" she asked, her voice faint, and a little soft. He blinked, and kissed her neck.
"Lily…"
"Hm?" she asked, leaning back against him, taking his hands.
"You feeling alright today? You seemed a little distant after lunch…" She shrugged.
"I'm fine. I'm just a little tired, I guess…" He nodded.
They sat in silence for a while, before he cleared his throat.
"Why did David kiss you?" he asked suddenly.
"What?"
"Earlier, before you beat him up, I saw David kissing you…why'd he do that?"
"Cause he's a dick who thinks I deserve better than you, and his example of better than you was him," she said, shaking her head.
"You think he's right?"
"About what?" she asked, turning her head to see him.
"About you deserving better?"
"John…why are you asking me this?" she questioned, lowering her eyes.
"Because I want to know…"
"Well…do you think I deserve better?" He shrugged, and gave her a squeeze. She moved back, leaning against him, and sighed a little. John didn't move, but she could feel his breathing slow down a little.
"Lily…"
"Yeah?" He turned his head, and placed his lips against her neck, but pulled away after a second.
"I think…Well…Are you happy?" She knitted her eyebrows together.
"What?"
"Are…you…happy?" he asked a bit slower.
"John, what kind of question is that? Of course I'm happy," she said, shaking her head.
"I only ask…because…I think…that you can do better than me…" His voice was faint, barely audible, over the breeze shrieking in her ears. She detected something in his voice she'd never heard before: something that made him sound like a defenseless child that was trying to make his mother believe he was telling the truth so she wouldn't hit him. She pulled out of his hands, and turned completely around, and saw his face, which made her bite her lip. His eyes were staring at the ground, only partly open; his skin was pale, with a little red tint in his cheeks; his mouth was slightly open, and she could faintly see his tongue pressed against the back of the bottom row of teeth; and his hands were dropped in his lap, palms up, fingers splayed, like he was looking for a scar that wasn't there anymore. Lily felt her heart breaking as she saw this picture in front of her, and reached up, touching her lips, trying not to cry.
"Oh…John…" she whispered, sliding a little closer. He blinked, and lifted his eyes, meeting hers. John's blue eyes were empty, and pale. She dropped one hand to his hands, and lifted the other to his cheek. He leaned into her palm, closing his eyes.
"Mm…" she heard him mumble.
"John…I don't care what people say anymore…I can't do better than you. You are my best friend. You are one of the few people that understand me at all, no matter what I do. The only person that I have ever dated, even if it was only one date, that my father ever liked, and joked around with, and everything. My father loved you. I couldn't do better then you, no matter what anyone says." Her voice was broken now, and fragile, and John sighed.
"Yeah you could…" She moved over, pushing her lips against his, letting her tears fall down her cheeks. He hesitated, but slid his arms around her waist, pulling her into his lap. She pulled back, and smiled at him.
"No, I couldn't," she whispered, hugging him. John rested his head on her shoulder, placing his hands loosely on her back. She bit her lip, knowing he wasn't sure anymore, knowing he didn't like this. Taking a breath, Lily pulled away. "John?" He lifted his eyes, meeting hers again.
"Hm?"
"Do you…Are you happy?" she asked. He nodded.
"Lily…I'm always happy with you…Even when you tell me not to fight with David, or when you yell at me about whatever stupid shit I did, I'm still happy with you…but you act like you can't stand me anymore. Like you'd rather be single, or you'd rather be somewhere else, with someone else…far away and completely different from me…" It was the most she'd heard him say since they left the school. Lily gasped out, letting the tears completely go, and they flooded down her cheeks.
"John, if I wasn't happy with you, I wouldn't have come out here. I wouldn't have stayed with you for so long…I wouldn't have…slept with you this afternoon…Of course I'm happy with you! I love you! There isn't anything in the world I want more than to be with you!" she exclaimed, taking his hands. He looked up at her, his eyes wide. "I love you so much, John, and I would stick by you until the world came to an end, no matter what stupid shit you do, no matter how much I yell at you. You should know by now that I still love you. I mean…I stuck by you, letting you take over all my thoughts and dreams every time I closed my eyes for three years while you were gone. Three years!" she exclaimed. "How can you say I'm not happy? How can you say I can do better?" He shrugged, and she leaned over, to kiss him. He pulled back. She dropped her butt back in the dirt. "John…why won't you let me touch you?" she asked as she reached for his hands. He pulled them back, too, and shrugged.
"Well…" He let his hands go limp, dropping them into the dirt. "I'm not stopping you now, am I?" She felt a tear on her cheek.
"John?" He shook his head.
"What do you want me to do, Lily?" he asked, his voice hard. She flinched.
"I…I want you to touch me, John…Prove to me your not afraid." He lifted his head.
"I'm not afraid of anything Lily…"
"Prove it to me!" she cried. John reached over, slamming his hands against her waist, and pulled her roughly into his lap, kissing her. She slid her arms around his shoulders, and he laid her back in the dirt. After a minute, he pulled back.
"Are you happy now?" he asked angrily. Then he paused. He saw the tears in her eyes, that slid down her face. He lifted his hand, wiping the tears away, and kissed her again, tenderly this time, on the lips. She slid her hands over his shoulders, and he pulled back again. "Sorry, Lil…" She faintly smiled.
"Are you gonna listen now, and believe me when I say that there isn't anyone out there who is better for me than you?" she asked, her voice shaky. He nodded.
"Yeah…Yeah, I will…I'm sorry," he said, kissing her forehead. She smiled up at him, and slid her hand under his shirt, and onto his stomach, raising her eyebrow. He smirked, and bent his head down, kissing her again. She slid her hands around his waist, under his shirt, and tugged against it. John's lips trailed over her skin, to her shoulder, and he pulled back, sitting beside her.
"John?"
"We should get back," he said, taking her hands and pulling her off the ground. She dusted herself off, and wrapped her arms around his waist, giving him a squeeze.
It was Spring Break. Nearly all the kids had either gone home, to stay with their families, or gone with a friend to their home, to stay with their families. Very few kids, who would've rather stayed at the mansion, stayed at the mansion, with the teachers. Lily was one of them. John, too. He laid, sleeping, in his bedroom. Lily was tossing and turning in her room, sleeping, but having nightmares.
John pushed open her door, and looked over at her. She raised her eyes from her hands, and smiled, relieved, as he walked over.
"Lil? You okay?" he asked, sitting beside her. She was lightly shaking, and her bangs were matted to her forehead with sweat. She hesitantly nodded, and threw her arms around him. "What happened?"
"I was having nightmares…nothing but nightmares…God, I'm glad you're here…" He kissed her neck, and she smiled, pulling back, kissing him.
"Nothing will hurt you, Lil…I swear. Not while I'm here…" Her face showed how relieved she truly was, and she lowered her head, taking in a deep breath. He laid her back on the bed, running his hands over her cheeks, and down to her arms. "I'm glad it's Spring Break…no one will burst into this room now…" She nodded, smiling. He lowered his head, kissing her. She felt his hand slide down her side, and then he moved it off. After a minute, when he still didn't put it back against her, she pulled her head back.
"John?" she asked, a little confused. He had his hand in his pocket, and she realized he was wearing jeans.
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing?" He shrugged, and bent his head, kissing her neck. She knitted her eyebrows together, and pushed his head up.
"What?"
"John…?" Her voice was soft, and trembling. His eyes looked down at her with a menacing look she couldn't place.
"No one will ever hurt you while I'm around," he whispered. She caught sight of something in his hand, and when she moved her head to see, he slammed the knife, full force, into her stomach. She screamed…
And sat up in bed, crying out, her hands clutching her stomach. Sweat dripped down her forehead, over her nose, and off into her lap. She looked around the dark room, and realized she was alone. Completely alone. John wasn't anywhere in sight, but she spun around, clicking on her lamp. Shielding her eyes from the bright light, she lifted up her shirt, and ran her fingers over her stomach. No wound. No blood. She sighed, turning off her light, and dropped back on her bed. After a minute, the door flew open. She cried out, jumping. John looked in at her.
"Lily?"
"John?"
"What happened?" he asked, running across the room. She scrambled backwards on the bed, pressing her back against the wall.
"Are you wearing jeans?"
"No, Lil. I never sleep in my jeans, you know that. I'm wearing my shorts…"
"Pockets?"
"No…" She sighed, and looked up as he sat across from her. "Lily, what happened? Why did you scream?" She looked up.
"You heard me?"
"Yeah, I heard you…I'm staying right across the hall." She took a breath, and threw her arms around his shoulders. "Lily, what happened?"
"I had a nightmare…I mean, I've been having them all night, but…This one…seemed so real."
"What was it about?" She sat back, thinking.
"You...came in…I was shaking, scared, but you came over and held me, comforting me…You kissed me, and…" She moved a little, pointing behind her. "Laid me back…you mentioned how glad you were that there wasn't anyone in my room but me, which meant no one bursting in on us…You said nothing will ever hurt me, because I said I'd been having nightmares. And you took your hand off me, and jammed it into your pocket. When I asked you what you were doing, you just smiled and shrugged…and after a minute, I said your name. You sat up a little, and when I looked at you again, you told me…"
"No one will ever hurt you while I'm around…" he mumbled. She nodded, eyes wide.
"How did you…?"
"I don't know…I just…I don't know…"
"Well…yeah….you said that to me…and then you jammed a knife into my stomach…" John hesitated, and reached down, lifting up the bottom of her shirt, running his fingers over her skin. She jumped.
"What?"
"Your cold…" He bent his head, blowing on his finger. Lily paused, watching him, and then moved her hands, taking his, and kissed him.
"Lily?" he asked, looking up at her.
"Yeah?"
"You…aren't afraid of me now…are you?" She faintly smiled in the darkness, and shook her head.
"No…" He gently pushed his fingertips back against her stomach, running them over her skin, checking for any wound. Shaking his head, he looked up.
"Your alright," he said. She nodded, but kept her eyes on his hands. "Lily, look at me…" She didn't move. "Lily…" He placed his hand on her chin, lifting her head up. She moved her eyes, and looked into his.
"What?"
"You seem…frightened…of me, still…" She shook her head.
"I'm just being careful, John…"
"Of what?"
"You." He held his hands out in front of him.
"I don't have anything, Lily…" He took her hands, and moved them to his sides, rubbing them against his shorts, where any and all pockets might have been, and then up over his shirt. "I don't have any pockets, either." She faintly smiled, moving her hands and holding his.
"I know…You can never be too careful." He moved his head, kissing her cheek.
"Nothing will ever hurt you, Lily. Not while I'm around. And I swear on everything holy, everything unholy, my mother, my father…On everything. Nothing will ever hurt you while I'm around." She felt the tears well up in her eyes, and she moved his hands onto her body, kissing him. He kissed her back, laying her against the bed. She realized her hands were still on his, and slid them from her stomach, to her chest, to her sides, and let them go, moving her hands around his shoulders. He pulled back, looking down at her.
"I love you…" He nodded.
"I love you too…"