Everything I Do: I Do it for You
Chapter 18: A..J.
All the feelings that I get but I still don't miss you yet, I hate
everything about you why do I love you, you hate everything about me why do
you love me.
She walked to her locker and twisted the combination until it clicked. The pain wasn't as bad now, but instead it just felt like there was nothing inside her.
"Hey, Courtney, I kind of lost you back there, what happened?" she heard Carly say.
She turned to a set of eyes filled with concern, wishing that she could tell her all of the wonderful things about her and Jason and the terrible things about A.J. but she knew she couldn't.
"Oh, uh, nothing, it's just that Elizabeth wanted to talk to me." She lied.
Carly felt like she was lying, but she wasn't sure why. She couldn't decide if it would be better to pry her way to the truth or to just let her tell her on her own time. She never really got to make that decision.
"Hey, Courtney, come here!" A.J. said, not as demanding as usual, but not bright like most other people.
Courtney turned to him for a moment.
"I'm talking to Carly, can you wait just a sec and I'll be done" she said holding up a hand.
She couldn't believe that she just talked back to him. She prayed to God that he wouldn't hit her.
"Well, it's kind of important" he said.
She was concerned and so she looked back to Carly, who looked fed up with A.J. but she nodded her on. Courtney followed A.J. up a small flight of stairs where they leaned against the wall.
"Why wouldn't you leave her to talk to me?" he asked, sounding as though he was a mix between hurt, agitated, and like he felt that he was speaking the only logical truth and what she was doing and saying was stupid.
"Well, Carly is my friend and she is important to me" she said, daring to give him a bit of attitude.
"More important than me?" he asked, more agitated this time. She couldn't believe how he was trying to manipulate her.
"You know what, I love you A.J., but I don't know why. I hate everything about you but some how I still love you. Why do you use that against me? Why do you use me?" she said, words racing from her mouth with a newfound courage.
"You don't mean that and I know it. You love me because you need me." He said in a snotty voice
She lowered her voice "How could I need you when you beat me" she said through her teeth
"I won't do that anymore I thought we discussed that!" he said quickly
"well what if I told anyone that you "used to"?" she said sarcastically emphasizing the used too.
Without thinking he raised his hand and pushed her shoulder into the wall. His breathing grew faster and more intense. His other hand hit her other shoulder and he know had her pinned to the wall.
"What are you gonna do. hit me?" she said in a sarcastic, as-a-matter-of- factly tone.
His clenched up face softened a little as he seemed to hit a realization. He loosened his rip on her a little. Somehow, as he did all that her fear of him had started to shrink and she felt braver than she ever had before. She felt like she was on top of the world and nothing could knock her down.
"That's what I thought A.J. once a bully, always a bully." She said with a lot of attitude.
She slid out from under his hands and walked back to her locker where Carly waited for her.
"What was all of that about?" she asked.
"A.J. just got a bit of a wakeup call" she said.
Courtney got her stuff for Algebra from her locker and walked to her. They took a seat in the back of the class and passed notes the whole time. Carly still just couldn't figure out what was wrong with her, or just what was different. She just couldn't quite place it as she usually could. She just seemed more distant than usual, which was truly saying something. She just kept looking at her and trying to decipher the look in her eyes. Then she heard somebody say the name Jason, and Courtney's face lit up and she bit her lip. Carly figured it out.
She walked to her locker and twisted the combination until it clicked. The pain wasn't as bad now, but instead it just felt like there was nothing inside her.
"Hey, Courtney, I kind of lost you back there, what happened?" she heard Carly say.
She turned to a set of eyes filled with concern, wishing that she could tell her all of the wonderful things about her and Jason and the terrible things about A.J. but she knew she couldn't.
"Oh, uh, nothing, it's just that Elizabeth wanted to talk to me." She lied.
Carly felt like she was lying, but she wasn't sure why. She couldn't decide if it would be better to pry her way to the truth or to just let her tell her on her own time. She never really got to make that decision.
"Hey, Courtney, come here!" A.J. said, not as demanding as usual, but not bright like most other people.
Courtney turned to him for a moment.
"I'm talking to Carly, can you wait just a sec and I'll be done" she said holding up a hand.
She couldn't believe that she just talked back to him. She prayed to God that he wouldn't hit her.
"Well, it's kind of important" he said.
She was concerned and so she looked back to Carly, who looked fed up with A.J. but she nodded her on. Courtney followed A.J. up a small flight of stairs where they leaned against the wall.
"Why wouldn't you leave her to talk to me?" he asked, sounding as though he was a mix between hurt, agitated, and like he felt that he was speaking the only logical truth and what she was doing and saying was stupid.
"Well, Carly is my friend and she is important to me" she said, daring to give him a bit of attitude.
"More important than me?" he asked, more agitated this time. She couldn't believe how he was trying to manipulate her.
"You know what, I love you A.J., but I don't know why. I hate everything about you but some how I still love you. Why do you use that against me? Why do you use me?" she said, words racing from her mouth with a newfound courage.
"You don't mean that and I know it. You love me because you need me." He said in a snotty voice
She lowered her voice "How could I need you when you beat me" she said through her teeth
"I won't do that anymore I thought we discussed that!" he said quickly
"well what if I told anyone that you "used to"?" she said sarcastically emphasizing the used too.
Without thinking he raised his hand and pushed her shoulder into the wall. His breathing grew faster and more intense. His other hand hit her other shoulder and he know had her pinned to the wall.
"What are you gonna do. hit me?" she said in a sarcastic, as-a-matter-of- factly tone.
His clenched up face softened a little as he seemed to hit a realization. He loosened his rip on her a little. Somehow, as he did all that her fear of him had started to shrink and she felt braver than she ever had before. She felt like she was on top of the world and nothing could knock her down.
"That's what I thought A.J. once a bully, always a bully." She said with a lot of attitude.
She slid out from under his hands and walked back to her locker where Carly waited for her.
"What was all of that about?" she asked.
"A.J. just got a bit of a wakeup call" she said.
Courtney got her stuff for Algebra from her locker and walked to her. They took a seat in the back of the class and passed notes the whole time. Carly still just couldn't figure out what was wrong with her, or just what was different. She just couldn't quite place it as she usually could. She just seemed more distant than usual, which was truly saying something. She just kept looking at her and trying to decipher the look in her eyes. Then she heard somebody say the name Jason, and Courtney's face lit up and she bit her lip. Carly figured it out.