Kon'wa, everyone! Made my two week deadline by one day! Are you proud? Well, probably not… you're probably ticked that it wasn't a one week deadline. But oh well! I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Here we get a deep look into Mamoru of the past…
Red-Rose 18: Hey, glad you like it! And I hope it didn't take too long!
ffgirlmoonie: Here! I've defined it for you! Hope that helps!
Yami Chikara: And humbly I will obey! Here's the update!
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JadesRose: Don't be late! And I hope it wasn't too confusing! Besides, everything will come together at the end. I hope. It should… Thanks for reviewing!
WingsofaDream: I suck at reading maps too. I can't wait to see how your adventure unravels!
Moonmoore: I had no idea what to do with Luna and Artemis… so we'll assume that in the future they are also frozen in time… in the past? Well, I might try to get them in somewhere. And remember what Usagi said about "the crown…trap" It's important! And don't worry, all your questions will be answered at the end! Thanks for reviewing!
angel313: Don't worry… Serenity will not be out of commission for the whole piece… that's all I can say…
Midnight: I guess I should be flattered that you are so impatient for an update. That tells me that you are interested in the story. But, I can assure you that updates are not slow due to my laziness. They take longer because this is a complex story and I also have a pretty busy life. But I'll try to update constantly. Thanks for reviewing!
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the online dreamer: Here's more! Enjoy!
Starlit Warrior: Wow, so many people have asked what kooin ya no gotoshi means! You are not the only one. I was sure I'd defined it a few times! But just for good measure, I've defined it again below. Thank you so much for reviewing! You are a true faithful and very much appreciated!
Comfy Couch: I'm glad my stories have done some good for you! Good luck on your stories! And thanks for reading mine!
Nazi Hater: And the award for longest review goes to… you! Yay long reviews! Yeah… there were some whack sentences in that last chapter, ne? Glad you pointed them out to me! Ever think of being a Language Arts teacher? You've got the eye for grammar! And about Chibi-Usa. This is a very AU story, so I'm not following the manga exactly. And since you seem to know them front and back, that probably annoys you. But I had to digress a little for the purposes of the story. I'm thinking of playing around with Chibi-Usa later on… We'll just see. And yes, thank you for reminding me that I said Diamond and not Demando! I completely forgot. What would I do without you? Thanks for reviewing!
Neonlights: I can't write a story without adding Serenity kicking butt. The question is how? When? You shall see! Thanks for reviewing!
candilized: Something different, ne? I'm surprised I haven't been flamed for killing off Serenity, but since the story is about stopping her from dying, I guess people are okay with that. Thanks for reviewing! Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Thanks about it everyone! Thank you for all your support!
rosa lunae
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"Kooin Ya no Gotoshi"
-Japanese Idiom
Translation:"Time Flies" Chapter Five: Losing Time
The sky was strangled with storm clouds. Clouds who apparently decided that once all of the time travelers were gathered in a discrete corner of Tokyo Park, it was time to let everything loose. A downpour burst from the sky, accompanied by thunder and ominous lightning. Mako shook her head, annoyed.
Mamoru didn't even blink though the water poured down his face, matting his hair to his head, and soaking his clothes. Not a flinch.
"Report," he barked wearily. Kunzite eyed him worriedly as Ami and Zoisite gave everyone the details of Ami's condition and the Shitennou's unwillingness to fight.
Mamoru's tumultuous eyes were deeply underscored by fatigued black circles. He was trying to maintain composure and command for the good of the team, but being separated from Serenity and knowing that she was an inch from death had taken an obvious toll.
Usagi was his hope, his will to live. And she was almost gone.
The report continued slowly. Jadeite gave the report of the decimated temple—Rei was unable to. Kunzite and Makoto described in detail the puny excuse for a fight that they and the others had witnessed.
Mamoru cringed, wincing, as Makoto recounted the youma's scathing words.
"All the better for her that Serenity is dead! She would be ashamed of the weaklings you've become!"
Mako and Rei remained silent, and waited for the right moment to divulge their realization.
Michiru calmly told of Haruka's encounter with her past self. No one was amused with her leap off the cliff or her bashing in the head of her counterpart. There was no time.
Later. Later they would all laugh about it, Mamoru tried to convince himself. He failed.
Minako and Kunzite told about how the Crown had been decimated. They showed Mamoru Motoki's diary.
Mamoru instantly flipped to the last page. His voice trembled as he read aloud.
"I can't stay here. Someone from the enemy knows that I have information. With Usagi gone and Ami in a coma and Mamoru in the nut house, there's nothing much I can do for them. There's no joy here, no reason to stay anyway. I just pray to Selene that someone will save us, because the Sailor Senshi cannot."
Silence threatened to choke them. The Inners were shamed by the actions of their past selves, as were the Shitennou. But Haruka, Michiru, and Hotaru itched to know why Mamoru would be in the nuthouse.
Haruka was the only one with enough gall to demand an explanation.
"What is he talking about, Mamoru?"
Mamoru sighed. "At least Motoki seems to have escaped before they blew up the Crown." He closed his eyes, trying to imagine Usagi's face. He couldn't find it.
Setsuna gently squeezed his elbow, prodding him. He sighed again, haggardly this time.
"My past self is the main suspect in Usagi's murder," he breathed, eyes closed.
They gasped.
"That's nonsense!" Haruka boomed. "How dare anyone to think that!"
Mamoru ignored Haruka's outburst. He explained about how Usagi had been shot in her bed while she slept and that the killer had come through the open window. The Tsukinos said she may have been expecting someone. And since the police had found his fingerprints and they were under pressure for a suspect, they latched onto him.
Nephrite reacted just as Mamoru had. "That's ridiculous. Of course you've been in her room. But everyone knows you would never go there during the night."
No one doubted it.
"Yes," Mamoru said. "Even Usagi knew this. So I can't believe that she was expecting me. She must have been tricked."
Rei and Mako locked eyes. Mako cleared her throat.
"Mamoru, I think I know why Usagi would have left her window open."
Mamoru whirled upon her. Setsuna's mauve eye's drilled holes into both of them.
Rei took over. Impulsively, she reached forward, and took Mamoru's hands, squeezing them, as if to keep him from fleeing.
"Jadeite said that the Senshi must be acting the way they are because whoever our enemy is attacked at our most vulnerable time. A time when if Usagi's presence was taken, the Senshi and Shitennou would become apathetic about defending Earth. A time when the Outers haven't been awakened yet. A time when Usagi would be emotionally vulnerable enough to believe that you would be coming to her window at night."
Whatever sallow color that remained in Mamoru's face drained away slowly, leaving his cheeks a deathly white and his eyes wide and unblinking. Rei's grip tightened as the wave of self-loathing she expected began to wash over him.
"God. Oh, God! Usako!" Shocking everyone, he threw himself into Rei's arms, and began to tremble, fighting against his cries in the crook of her slender neck.
But a moment later, he straightened, and brushed away the tears. His eyes were hard, afire.
"Whoever did this will pay. I swear it."
This was the Endymion they were used to. The tension began to flee.
Setsuna slowly realized what they had just discovered. "This is the time of your break-up…" she murmured slowly. "Someone must have disguised himself as you and tempted Usagi with the idea of getting back together. That's why she would leave her window open. These were Usagi's worst days… she was desperate, illogical, impulsive. Of course she would leave her window open for Mamoru, if he wanted to talk about getting back together. She falls asleep waiting, and our enemy has his opening. Kami."
Mamoru clenched his fists. "That's not the worst of it. Think of what Usagi must have felt in that last instant before… the end. I trick her, betray her, jam a rose into her palms, then shoot her." His face contorted in anguish. "Just think of it!"
Zoisite gently put a hand on his master's shoulder to soothe him. He calmed. When his eyes opened, they were steel with determination.
"Since Motoki was smart enough to mark the exact date of her death in his journal, we know exactly where to go in the timeline next. But we have one last stop in this timeline."
His companions braced themselves, recognizing the familiar angry resolve that welcomed no protest. The command of the King.
"Where, sire?" Ami asked timidly.
"Tokyo General's Mental Health Ward."
With this, he disguised himself. He was now Motoki. They stared at him, curiously.
"I can't get in to talk to the past Mamoru if I look like an older version of him, now can I?" he asked, grimly.
They conceded to that, and began the long journey towards the nuthouse.
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As they walked, guilt and self-loathing threatened Mamoru's royal resolve. But, just as he was about to gave, Usagi's adorably angry face appeared in his mind's eye for the first time in many long, lonely hours.
Her anger was affectionate.
"Chiba Mamoru, don't you dare start blaming yourself for this! And that's an order from your princess!"
He could remember just how the light from the sun had sparkled in her blue eyes, like sunrise over the silver blue sea.
"I'm coming, my love…" he whispered to himself, as they made their way towards the mental institution.
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Kunzite wracked his brain, searching for the sight or sound or something that had triggered the unrest that was plaguing him. Though Minako's had was gently surrounded by his own, he couldn't concentrate on its warmth.
Something about the Crown. The Control Room. And a memory from the past.
He groaned in frustration, causing Minako to look at him questioningly. Mamoru also tossed him an inquisitive glance. He waved them off.
Where was the opening into that corner of his mind! Where?
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The end of the first day was approaching, Naru could tell. Not by the sun of course, or the clocks, which remained motionless.
She could tell because Serenity was growing more and more restless. Setsuna's prognosis had said the Queen's delirium would increase until the halfway point to the deadline, then slowly subdue into death.
Deadline. The word had never before held such weight.
Naru had given up on telling stories from the distant past to her Queen. She was probably beyond hearing. She was struggling absently against the bonds, as if distracted by something she was watching, though her eyes remained closed.
Tonight, she would fight the hardest. Tonight any single word she cried could be a vital clue or something… or it could just be the ramblings of a beautiful dying woman. Naru's eyes filled with shocked tears at her own thoughts. She shook them away.
She tossed the ancient volume over her shoulder, and slid from the comfortable chair to her knees, gently taking hold of her best friend's hand.
"Usagi, if you can hear me… Mamoru is coming for you. He loves you and he did not kill you in the past. But he will find who did! It's not yet your time. Plus…" Despite everything, Naru began to blush. "Don't you want to be around when Umino proposes to me? And for Chibi-Usa to be born?"
The Queen struggled to speak, but death was heavy upon her. She urgently had a message to give, but only managed a strangled cry accented with tears slipping through her tightly knit eyes.
Sweet Naru. Sweet, innocent, constant Naru-chan. Of course, no matter what, she is always there.
But this is over her head. This is the one place she shouldn't be. Naru can deal with negotiations and social work, but she is not a Senshi. And when the danger comes, she'll be completely unprotected. I can't do a thing.
Oh, Mamo-chan… so impulsive in your anger! And Setsuna… so sure, yet so blind.
I can ignore the pain… I can ignore the fear, and the pressing, massive weight on my chest, and the thick darkness…
But I cannot ignore my dear ones walking into a trap…
But I can do nothing…nothing at all… nothing but pray and wait and fight the soft, smothering darkness… away from the pain…
But I will not go down without a fight. I will make them all see…
KOOIN YA NO GOTOSHI!
Naru jerked, startled, as Serenity let out a piercing cry and began to fight her bonds with fervor.
"KOOIN YA NO GOTOSHI!"
Tears ran down Naru's face as she grabbed at Serenity's flailing hand and tried to hold her down.
"Ok, Usagi-chan, time flies! I hear you! The Senshi are hurrying, I promise!"
She doesn't understand…
Just as they reached the door of the mental facility, Mamoru, still disguised as Motoki, stopped suddenly, and shut his eyes. The cry of his wife echoed soundlessly in his ears.
KOOIN YA NO GOTOSHI!
The others looked at him questioningly. He set his jaw, grimly. "Stay here," he commanded. "I must speak with him alone."
Without blinking or looking back, he opened the door.
He was shown to Mamoru's… cell by a lethargic attendant. The boy warned him, "This guy is nuts. He think he's Tuxedo Kamen, and he swears if he ever escapes, he'll kill himself or whoever murdered that blond girl. Must have been his girlfriend or something, 'cause the guy's off the deep end. Be careful what you say to him."
With this, he opened the door, and allowed Endymion—disguised as Motoki—into the room, and then left them alone to retreat back to his dusty desk to doze.
Mamoru was in a straight jacket huddled in the corner of the barred cell, rocking just slightly. He was whispering something deliriously, unaware or uncaring of the other being in the room.
Endymion, watching from the other side of a window with bars, was stunned by what his past self had become. Apparently, he had lost all control, all awareness. Well. Only one way to find out.
He knocked lightly on the padded walls, and called softly, "Chiba Mamoru."
Mamoru jumped, startled, then his eyes widened.
"Motoki. I thought you were gone!"
Endymion knit his eyebrows. He sounded sane enough… Glancing around, Endymion summoned the Golden Crystal within him, and blocked all the cameras in the room, and locked the door. Not that it was necessary. No one cared enough to enter.
"I am not Motoki," he said. Mamoru narrowed his bloodshot eyes.
Then, he detransformed back into himself, with his kingly attire and all, scepter in hand.
"I am you, as you are meant to be."
Mamoru glared at him, unsurprised, then suddenly hurled himself against the window. Endymion did not flinch, and Mamoru fell to the ground. He stayed there, his eyes bright and furious.
"I am not meant to be!" he snarled, standing, eye to eye with his future self. "I failed her! Chiba Mamoru is an anomaly!"
Endymion's eyes darkened with anger even as they glowed with understanding. "Those words are not meant to pass by your lips. Or anyone else's. You're so messed up you must not remember how she felt when she said that… or even that she said it! Are you sane enough to remember how Usako died thinking you didn't love her!"
Mamoru's eyes flashed. His voice was cold, calculated, dangerously low. "Careful what you say, your highness. I believe you broke up with her too. And I'm you. And I am not crazy. Those fools lock me up because I said I was Tuxedo Kamen when they arrested me for killing Usako. But I couldn't prove it, because without Sailor Moon, there is no Tuxedo Kamen. But at least I am here. They keep me here instead of prison because I've tried to kill myself more times that I can remember. But I could leave if I wished. But why bother? The Black Moon reigns supreme now. The Senshi are pathetic. Little Ami didn't make it through the first few fights. And my loyal Generals are powerless. On purpose. Now Earth is too easy for Demando to take over. Wiseman has completely taken over the offensive. Besides Demando has no reason to want us now. Usako is dead."
"Not for long," Endymion murmured softly.
Mamoru looked up. His eyes were frighteningly clear. They narrowed dangerously. "You know nothing, King Endymion." He spat the title. "Serenity just died in your time, did she not?" He didn't wait for an answer. "You know nothing of hell! In my time, Usako has been dead for 413 days! I see the hole in her head and the blood in her hair, covering her closed eyes, every time I close my own! Every night, I hear her killer's maniacal, god-forsaken laugh in my nightmares! You don't know how that feels. Fool."
Endymion looked at his past self, furious yet still pitying. "My Serenity is not dead yet. She's suspended between life and death in the time sickness. But I am going back in time to stop her from dying."
For a moment, the younger Mamoru's face relaxed. The bright red anger and the jagged lines of acrid cynicism melted from his face and a strange emotion began to glow in his eyes just briefly. Endymion almost didn't recognize it himself.
Hope.
Then, it was washed away by anger and bitterness. "Then why in hell are you here blabbing to me! Get out of my sight and go save my Usako!"
A wry smile twitched at the corners of Endymion's lips. That was a little more like himself. He began to turn away, but an iron-grip grabbed his arm and pulled him against the bars on the window. Mamoru's arm had ripped straight through the straight jacket without an effort.
"Oh, and, be glad I'm behind these bars, Your Highness. Because I would kill you. It would be just like killing myself. And because I failed her, I deserve to die."
Endymion pulled his arm away, and faded back into his Motoki disguise.
"Then you and I do agree on something. Farewell, my self. Have hope."
Endymion left before he could hear the cynical laugh.
The attendant who'd let him in was asleep at his desk. The Senshi were in the patch of woods, portal ready. He walked purposefully towards them, head high, muttering under his breath.
"That's what I will become if we fail…but we will not!"
His eyes were bright with resolve. He led the Senshi and Shitennou into the portal.