I heard Riley huff off angrily , and I pulled back , my cheeks flaming. I looked away ,feeling agitated with myself . Steve put his forefinger under my chin and made me look up at him. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to do that..." He returned the favor and I felt the color die down a bit in my cheeks. I pulled my hair back up , but Steve merely pulled the scrunchie out. "Leave your hair down for a bit-it looks nice." I rolled my eyes and smiled. Boys these days...

"Oh shit...11:45...I gotta get going...if I'm not home before midnight Darry'll skin me..." Steve smiled and stood up. "Want me to drive you?" I nodded. "Thanks a bundle.." "No problem-I wanna say hang around there anyway..." I tilted my head , my curls falling into my face "Dad kick you out again?" He nodded and brushed the hair away. "That's the reason I always wear it up..." Steve smiled. "Hair in your face is worth it to look pretty." I rolled my eyes as he opened the door for me and got in. "Thanks." Steve nodded and as we pulled into the driveway , I ran outa the car and into the house. 12:01. " I said I'd be home by midnight! " Darry rolled his eyes. "You actually listened to me." I bit back my answer and walked into the bedroom - changing into sweatpants and a loose tanktop , and turning out the light.

I felt someone poking me and opened my eyes. "Soda-can't I sleep in for once in my damned life?" He shook his head. "Nope. If I gotta get up for work -you gotta get up too." I glared at him , rolling over. "It's summer!" He rolled me over onto my back again. "I don't give a damn. Don't make me tickle you." I sat up and rubbed my eyes , glaring at my twin. "Come on , little girl." I whacked him on the shoulder. "I'm an hour and three minutes younger than you , and yah call me 'little girl'..." Soda nodded and hauled me up. I took a shower and got dressed. "Hey Darry I'm-"
"Headin' out , I know..."

I smiled at him , gave a wave and slammed the door behind me.

"I need to talk to you..." Next thing I knew , I was being dragged to the bathroom of the Dingo...again. Guess who it was? Riley was glaring at , her arms crossed across her flat chest. "How dare you!" I raised an eyebrow. "How dare I what?" Riley let out a laugh and the light caught against her braces , almost blinding me. "You went after my man!" I laughed and pulled myself up onto the sink. "Your man? He's been my friend forever! He likes me , I like him. Get over it." Riley sneered and another girl walked in. She walked over and whispered in my ear. "This isn't over yet , bitch," and left. I stared at her back before getting up to leave myself.

"Hey Tink-me and Tina were supposed to double tommorow night but the other couple bailed-wanna come? Wait...do you even have a boyfriend anymore?" I glared at Soda and raised a finger. "Yea , I got a boyfriend. I think...it's up to him anyway." Soda sat down next to me on my bed and stared at me. "You think? How could you not know!" I sighed and looked away from what I was writing in my diary. "It's been confusing." I yawned and rubbed my eyes , laying down.I closed my eyes and Soda poked me. "Tired?" I opened an eye and closed it again. "I wouldn't be if you didn't wake me up at six thirty this mornin'..." Soda tickled me and I opened my eyes. "Okay okay I'm up! Don't tickle me! Ever!" Soda smiled. "It's only four...go out , do somethin'." I nodded and grabbed my brush and pulled it through my hair , then pulled the hair back again. Soda was looking at me strangely. "You look an awful lot like Mom , Bella..." I nodded. Don't cry...don't cry..."So do you Soda..." He stood up and wrapped an arm around me. "It's okay to cry , Tink...Mom always said that." I jerked away. "Mama's not here anymore...and it's all my fault..." With that , I left.

I wiped my eyes angrily as I sat down by the stone that marked my parents graves. I kneeled down in front of it , placing down the flower I brought.I bit back more tears and took in a deep breath. "I miss you guys so much...Darry's doin' a great job at raising Ponyboy..if only you could see Pony, you'd be so proud of him. I'm still a screw up. I keep Darry worrying. Why'd you haveta die?" I felt myself start to shake. I was mad at myself for my parents dying , but I was mad at them for leaving me. "I know it's my fault...I was being so selfish. I just wanted you home..it was my birthday." I was crying harder than I had at their funeral.I needed it get it out. "I'm a selfish brat. I hate myself. More than anything. I started cutting..you'd be so dissapointed. I started lying about it do." I tok a deep breath and wiped my eyes. " Mama , Daddy , I miss you so much. All I want is my Mama to talk to about the confusing things boys do , and to be your Angel again Daddy." I took a final look at their graves and left. I needed to be home for some reason.

I opened the door slowly to see Soda. Ohhh shit... I opened it fully and leaned against it , waiting for him to demand an explanation. "You okay?" I shrugged. I really didn't know anymore. Soda grabbed my arm and made me sit on the couch. I wiped my eyes-tears were still fallin' "You're not okay...you really don't look it." I bit my lip. Don't make any noise...it's not considered crying if you don't make any noise...I couldn't hold it in anymore. "Bella , what's wrong?" I leaned against his shoulder. "I miss them so much..." Please catch what I'm talkin' bout Soda...I don't wanna explain... Soda nodded and I cried into his shoulder. "It's alright Bella...I miss them too.." I looked up at him and wiped my eyes. "It wasn't your fault..." Soda stared at me angrily. "It wasn't yours either!" I nodded and moved over slightly. Lately I didn't like my family members touching me...it made me feel guilty. "It was...Daddy called and said he couldn't make it home till the day after our birthday. I wanted them there...it was my Sweet Sixteen , I wanted my parents there..I got all mad at them...they didn't hear the train probably because they were upset about me and trying to get home in a hurry. I'm such a selfish brat..." Soda shook his head. "If they called me I would've been the same way. The train hit them , the driver was completely wasted. It wasn't you Tink , it really wasn't." I shook my head. The pain wasn't going away and I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed an escape.

"Ponyboy?" He blinked and shook his head. "Yea?" I looked at him , tilting my head to the side. "Why you starin' at me?" He gave a sheepish smile. "You look so much like Mom when she was a teenager. I looked at some pictures...you could be twins." I shrugged. Don't start crying again. I smiled and moved over next to him. "I don't look all that like her. She was beautiful." Pony glanced at me. "So're you." I wrapped an arm around him and hugged him tight. "Ponyboy...you say the sweetest things..." I brushed some of his hair out of his eyes. "You're hairs goin' back to normal..." Pony smiled slightly but I could tell his mind was on something else. "It'll betwo years in a few weeks..." I nodded , letting out a sigh. "I should know...it's my birthday." Pony smiled lightly and leaned his head on my shoulder. "It must be really hard on you and Soda." I nodded. That was the truth. "I'm gonna head out , Pon'...tell Darry for me , okay?" I got his nod , rubbed him on the head and headed out , wiping my eyes on my sleeve as I went.

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