Labor Pains

AN: This is the product of my over active imagination. I told Candy-chan about it and she wanted to write it, too, but I had already gotten one too many ideas for it, lol. So sorry, you'll have to put up with my writing instead of being wowed by her amazingness. Although she did give me many lovely ideas for this and beta it. So, as always, thank you Candyland!

Disclaimer: Nope.

"Heiji."

He pulled the covers over his head. Whatever time it was, he could feel that it was too early for him to be awake. Slowly, he cracked open one eye and noticed darkness in the room. Definitely too early for him to be awake.

"Heiji."

He slowly opened his other eye and looked at the clock. 5:30 A.M. Now it was official. "What do you want, aho?" he muttered. "Don't you know what time it is?"

"Yes, actually, I do," she replied.

"Then go back to sleep," he sighed, closing his eyes again.

"Heiji."

"What?"

"It's time."

"It's time for what?"

"It's time."

He muttered for a few moments, deciding to ignore whatever it was she was babbling about this time. A few seconds later, his eyes shot open and he sat up, staring at her. "It's time?" he exclaimed. "What do you mean it's time? It's not supposed to happen for another ten days!"

"Well, try telling it that," she replied with a frown.

Heiji leapt out of bed, dashing to the closet and pulling out a pair of pants to throw on over his boxers, as well as a T-shirt and a jacket. He managed to get dressed in record time, were there actually something in the record books in that category. Finally, he grabbed his trademark baseball cap. He loved that hat, he really did. There was only one thing that he loved more. And it was about to become two things.

"Are you nearly ready?" Kazuha asked, slowly heading toward the door. She was still wearing her pajamas, which consisted of a basic top and bottom. Heiji had once dared to ask her where she managed to find so many clothes that would fit her. She didn't take it well. Neither did his head.

"Yeah!" he replied, desperately trying to put on socks as he hopped after her.

Kazuha stilled strolled as she made her way to the front door. Running really wasn't an option for her at this point. Heiji, on the other hand, raced past her and grabbed the suitcase that had been waiting by the door for the last month just in case.

"Now, do we have everything?" he said quickly.

"Yes," she replied. "Come on, the hospital's a long way from here."

"Are you sure?" he said, grabbing her shoulder. "Because if we've forgotten something, I can go back and get it right now!"

"Everything's fine, Heiji," Kazuha said with a smile. "We really need to get going, okay?"

Heiji nodded and leapt out the door. He made sure that Kazuha was out before slamming the door shut and dashing to the car. Getting inside, he tossed the suitcase in the back and started the ignition. He took a few deep breaths. "Come on, Heiji. You can do this! It's just a little car ride, that's all," he told himself. Finally, he buckled his seat belt and raced onto the street.

He forced himself to focus completely on the road. Now wasn't the time to dwell on what he was about to get into. Thankfully, due to the early hour, there weren't very many people on the road. Nor were there any police officers around to pull him over for how many stop signs he was running and speed limits he was breaking. Besides, this was an emergency!

Just then, his cell phone started ringing. Who in the seven hells would be calling him at this hour, especially due to the situation he automatically assumed everyone knew he was in? He quickly reached into his pocket and shut it off, not checking to see what sort of rude person called people at 5:40 in the morning.

Kazuha had been surprisingly quiet so far. Heiji would have expected her to have made some sort of remark by now, especially about his driving. But he kept his eyes glued to the road, assuming that her present condition had caused her to change her usual behavior.

It was really strange how it had all started, he recalled. They had known each other since they were children. They would play together, get into trouble together, and even ended up handcuffed together. They had grown up together, spending time with each other, arguing mostly. People would tease them about it, but he never thought much of it. He didn't even think much of the fact that they were always together. Then one day, something changed. Drastically, it had seemed to him at first. Looking back though, it really wasn't that surprising.

It was back when they were in high school. There had been a murder in Osaka and the seventeen-year-old detective had been called on the case. A man had been strangled, and clues were sparse while the suspects abounded. After a very tedious investigation, Heiji had seemed to reach his conclusion, and the officers had called all of the suspects to the crime scene.

Heiji smiled as he looked at all of the suspects carefully. He then turned to shoot a glare at Kazuha. Why had she followed him there in the first place? He had told her to leave because it might become dangerous, but she apparently hadn't listened. "Get out of here, aho," he said to her again. Kazuha frowned at him.

Heiji sighed and went into his usual string of deductions. Little did he know that this was the reason that Kazuha refused to leave. It was one of those small things in life that she just loved to watch. She couldn't explain why, but it just made her feel happy.

From the grin on his face, it was obvious that he had reached the climax of his speech. "Therefore," he said, giving every face there a careful look, "the murder is..." He milked this moment for all it was worth, giving the group a nice long look before suddenly rasing his finger in the opposite direction of where he was looking. "...you, Kimura-san!" he finished, turning his head to look at the shocked perpetrator.

"M-me?" the man stuttered.

"Yes, that's right," Heiji replied, still smiling. "All of the clues point to you. Your alibi isn't even that solid. Just confess and this will go a lot easier on you, Kimura-san."

Kimura stared at him, seeming shocked. Suddenly, it turned into a look of anger. "You think you're so smart, don't you kid?" In an instant, he had produced a knife and had grabbed Kazuha around the shoulder, holding the blade to her throat. "Now, nobody moves and the girl doesn't get hurt."

Everyone stared at him in shock as he slowly made his way out of the room. "Don't you dare follow me!" he exclaimed as he reached the door in spite of the struggling Kazuha. He shot a last look at the horrified Heiji before disappearing from sight.

A few moments later, he brought his fist down hard onto the nearby table. "Dammit! This is why I told her not to stay here." He looked around at everyone in the room, enraged. "Does anyone know where I can get a shinai quickly!"

Kimura raced down the street past shocked citizen. "Quit struggling, girl, and this will go a lot easier on you."

"Do you really think Heiji's going to let you get away with this?" she replied menacingly.

"If he values your life, he will." They raced down several streets, each one becoming more and more quiet and obscure. Eventually he stopped near an alleyway, looking around. "Now where can I dump you and find something to get out of here in?"

It was at this point that Kazuha decided to take action. She reached up and managed to get a hold of the arm that was wrapped around her and started twisting it. Kimura gasped and lowered his knife some, trying to get over the pain and force her to let go. After a few moments, she got her hand on his wrist and slammed him into the pavement. She kept a grip on his arm in case he was still conscious, but he was showing no signs of movement.

Just then, Heiji came racing around the corner, holding a shinai that he had managed to get from who knows where. "Kazuha!" he exclaimed, stopping dead in his tracks and suddenly realizing what had just happened.

"You really didn't need to worry Heiji," she said, standing up and brushing herself off. "I can take care of myself, you know."

Heiji still looked surprised, but suddenly he exclaimed, "Kazuha, look out!" For at that moment, Kimura had suddenly gripped his hand around his knife again and had turned himself around. He sat up and sent the blade plunging into her side. She gasped in pain, Kimura pulling it out and grinning evilly. She fell over unconscious, blood spilling everywhere.

"KAZUHA!" Heiji cried, involuntarily tightening the grip on his weapon.

"Now," Kimura said, smiling at her vulnerable form, "if you don't want to see her get hurt any more, you'll..." He had intended to go on, turning his head to look at where Heiji had been standing, but his eyes suddenly met the vision of a bamboo sword about to connect with his forehead.

Kazuha woke up a few hours later, groggy and unsure of her surroundings. She tried to sit up, but felt a shard pain in her side. "That's right," she thought. "That Kimura guy stabbed me. What happened after that?" She looked around, finally registering that she was lying in a bed in the hospital. There were several devices hooked up to her, and she could finally feel the IV stuck in her arm and a lot of bandages around her stomach.

"So you're finally awake, huh?" she heard a voice say nearby. She looked over to see Heiji sitting there, seeming very tired.

"Heiji? What's going on? And where are my parents?"

"They went to get something to eat," he replied. "They should be back in a couple of minutes."

"What happened to Kimura?" she asked, trying to make herself more comfortable but finding that it wasn't an easy task.

"He's in another room here." Heiji replied, trying to suppress a grin. "Apparently somebody really messed him up after he hurt you."

Kazuha smiled. "All right," she said, allowing him to hide the obvious details. "Anything else?"

Heiji thought for a moment, seeming slightly out of it. "Well," he began, "the doctors said you should be out of here in a few days. I guess he didn't hit any vital organs, so you got lucky there. And..."

Just then, Kazuha's parents came into the room. "Oh thank goodness," her mother murmured, racing over to the bed to get a better look at her daughter.

"Why don't you go get some food, Heiji?" Captain Toyama said.

"I'm fine," Heiji mumbled.

"But you've been here all day."

Heiji didn't answer this time, not seeming to be paying complete attention.

A few days later, Kazuha was about to leave her house, having recently been released from the hospital. As she closed the door, she turned and found herself face to face with a very surprised looking Heiji. "What are you doing out, aho?" he asked.

"They released me from the hospital this morning," he replied, frowning.

"That doesn't mean you should just go walking around wherever. Isn't your wound still healing?"

"I'm fine, Heiji!" she said, trying to push her way past him. He suddenly caught her arm.

"Look, could we go somewhere and talk?"

Kazuha blinked at him in confusion. "Why can't we talk right here?"

"Because," he replied, seeming to be lost in thought. "Look, we just really need to go some place where we can talk. Privately."

Kazuha felt herself blush. She really didn't know why. He was probably just going to chastise her for now leaving when he told her to. However, she nodded and began to follow him. They walked quietly through the streets of Osaka. Every once in a while she would glance at him, but he never seemed to be paying attention to anything.

As night was falling, they found themselves at a small park. It was full of cherry trees and was a very popular spot for tourists. However, it was not the season for sakura, and the place was usually deserted. Heiji made his way over toward a bench under the largest trees and sat down, staring at the slowly rising moon. Kazuha took a seat next to him. "So, what did you want to talk about?" she asked.

Heiji sighed. "Why couldn't you have just left when I told you to?" he said, half to himself. Kazuha rolled her eyes. Why did she always have to be right?

"I wanted to watch you solve the case," she replied simply, focusing her attention on the horizon.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled after a few moments.

"For what?"

"For not being able to stop him. I-I was really worried, you know."

"I had figured as much," she answered, still not looking at him.

"I mean, I... I though I was going to lose you," he said quietly. "Why do you have to be so stupid?"

For a brief moment, Kazuha had thought her heart was pounding. Now she felt anger building up in her. "Why am I so stupid!" she exclaimed. "Well why are you so stupid, aho? I mean you..."

It had been her plan to keep going like this until she wore herself out yelling at him and go back home to brood over it. However, Heiji had suddenly grabbed her chin and turned her head to face him. It was at this point that she was going to ask him what he was doing, but he didn't allow for that either as he forcefully brought his lips to hers. She blinked in surprise, eventually relaxing and returning the kiss.

After a few moments, they pulled away. "Um..." Heiji began, a slight red starting to come to his cheeks. This time, though, it was his turn to be interrupted, as Kazuha suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with as much passion as she could muster. Although taken aback, it didn't take him very long to kiss her back with fervor. They gave each other a few short, deep kisses, Heiji working his arms around her back. After a few more moments, he finally pulled her up against him, giving her a very long, passionate kiss. They continued with this tongue-kendo for a while longer, before eventually breaking apart and staring at the sky with very red faces.

And it was history. Now here they were, eight years later and once again bound by metal, although this time it had lasted for four years and was looking to go for many more to come.

Heiji finally saw the hospital coming up on the street ahead. "We're almost there!" he said, once again met by a strange silence from his wife. He drove up to the front circle, which was clearly labeled "Emergency Parking Only." He was fairly certain that something like this would be considered an emergency, so he parked the car right by the front doors, and in one movement, turned off the car and leapt out, running inside and to the front desk.

"What do you need, sir?" the nurse asked.

"It-it's my wife," he panted. "S-she's going into labor!"

"All right," the woman replied, giving him an odd look. "Where is your wife?"

Heiji blinked, thinking for a moment. Suddenly, his eyes went wide. "Oh, shit!"

Kazuha stood in the driveway, sighing as her husband sped down the street. She waited a few moments to see if he would notice his error, and finally made her way back into the house and picked up the phone. This was going to be a long day, she could tell.

Heiji turned around and started running to the door, suddenly stopping dead in his tracks. That phone call he had gotten half an hour ago! He pulled out his phone cautiously and turned it on. A few seconds later, a message popped on the screen.

"YOU HAVE 6 NEW VOICE MESSAGES"

He gulped, a shaking finger pressing the button, then slowly held the phone up to his ear.

"Heiji, turn your phone back on," Kazuha said. "Then come back here and get me!"

"Next message..."

"Come on, Heiji, haven't you noticed anything strange? Get back here right now!"

"Next message..."

"Hey, aho, what do you think you're doing? Are you even paying any attention? You do realize that the person in need of help is stuck at home, right?"

"Next message..."

"Heiji, I hope you realize that it's half an hour between the hospital and here, and that the longer you take, the more impatient this kid is getting. I really don't want to have it here, by myself, and you don't either!"

"Next message..."

"Heiji, I know there's a reason I permit you to continue breathing, but right now, I'm not sure what that reason is!"

"Next message..."

"You know what, Heiji. Just forget it! It's too late now, anyway..."

Too late? What did she mean by too late! He thrust his phone back into his pocket and raced out the door.

Just then, a police car pulled up, sirens running and all. He stopped and watched as it parked directly behind him in confusion. A few seconds later, a very annoyed looking Kazuha stepped out from the passenger's seat, now wearing her normal street maternity clothes. "Thanks for the ride, Dad," she said as the driver also emerged from the vehicle.

"Oh, don't mention it, dear," he replied, smiling at her.

Almost simultaneously, they both turned to frown at Heiji. He sheepishly put his hand behind his head. "Oops?"

Kazuha took a few steps toward him, giving him a glare that would have killed lesser men. "If my contractions weren't this close together, I would kill you right now," she said, before proceed into the hospital where a nurse was waiting for her.

Heiji watched her nervously before feeling a hand on his shoulder. He looked to see her father standing behind him. "Uh, I can explain..." he began, feeling quite worried about this whole situation.

He shook his head. "I know how you feel."

A few hours later, a smiling nurse greeted the two very nervous men in the waiting room. The moment Heiji saw her, he leapt up from his seat. "How is she?" she exclaimed.

"Your wife is just fine, Hattori-san," she replied. "And congratulations! You're a father!"

Heiji stared at her, seeming confused. Apparently, even after nine months of preparation, somehow those words didn't seem to fit in the same sentence.

After a few moments, the nurse blinked and said, "The baby's born now. You can go see it if you want to."

After a few more seconds, Heiji finally snapped out of his daze and raced down the hallway behind her. "She's in room 132!" the nurse called after him.

He arrived at the room, nearly falling over in his attempt to stop running. He poked his head in, seeing a much thinner Kazuha lying in a bed smiling at a small bundle in her arms. Heiji slowly made his way inside, trying to be as quiet as possible. "Get over here," Kazuha suddenly said, her eyes not moving from the child.

Heiji made his way over to the bed and peered over his wife's shoulder. Heavily wrapped with blankets, he saw a tiny sleeping face. He smiled. "So..."

"It's a boy," Kazuha said quickly.

"A boy, huh?" he replied, still looking at him. "So, when can I start teaching him kendo?"

"You're not teaching my sweet little baby that," she growled, looking up at him. He grinned sheepishly. "At least, not until he's older."

"Well, that's good, because I don't think he'd be able to lift the shinai just yet." He leaned down and kissed her. "I love her," he murmured, smiling at her.

Kazuha smiled back. "I love you, too."

AN: I now initiate a game of "Spot the Moderately-Obscure Reference!" And Candyland, it was your idea, so you can't play.

By the way, I want to thank Carol for deciding the gender. I couldn't choose, and neither could Candyland, so I randomly went to my friend's room and said, "Boy or Girl?" which made her think that my sister was pregnant, but her roommate said boy. So that's why XD. I was ten days early, so I felt like doing that with their kid. As for the make-out-tastic scene (don't ask), Candy-chan dared me to do it, because I honestly have never written one, although I've read plenty (for Miroku and Sango). So you may once again do your Happy Make-Out Scene Dance of Evil!