The bleeding afternoon dusk soon gave way to the dark clouds and the cemetery became heavy with the smell of an incoming downpour. Long gone were the echoes of the hanyou's mourning as everything drowned into hollow silence.
After pouring out his grief, all that was left of Inuyasha was the feeling of emptiness. Slowly reaching out for the gravestone, he traced Kagome's name as if attempting to seek out her being through the concrete carvings. As he caressed each curve and engraved line, his thoughts brought him to remember everything about her. The way she smiled and how he sometimes noticed that it never reached her eyes. Her bright expressive eyes brought out the emotions that she tried to hide. Kagome could never keep anything from him; either that or he knew her too well.
He wasn't insensitive, as others had thought him to be. One of the curses of being a half-breed was to have the burden of intense emotions. For just as the demon half magnified a hanyou's senses twice or thrice that of a human, so were a hanyou's emotions. Unfortunately, despite having incredible strength and prowess, such feelings of joy, sadness and other sentiments were controlled by the hanyou's human heart.
This was what he called his weakness.
And it burned within him. The immensity of the pain, hate and anger that comprised most of his life drove him to near madness. Soon he understood why there were few half-breeds like him. Many of them had maybe succumbed into their misery and alienation that they had no wish to move on.
Thus he wanted nothing more than to be numb, to feel no pain, no remorse.
No emotion.
If this were what it meant to become a demon like his half-brother, he would become just that.
The key to being a true demon was the Shikon no Tama. But after meeting the guardian of the Jewel, Kikyou, things changed.
He found himself falling for her and his love was soon requited. They had planned use the Jewel to turn him human and to settle down as husband and wife.
But Fate had played with him just as it would intervene with his love with Kikyou's reincarnation, Kagome.
Drops of rain started to fall on him, but Inuyasha took no heed of it. He was still lost in his contemplation.
He had thought about what had happened in the Land of the Dead. When Kikyou led him there, she dissolved into clay as souls of the people she had claimed dissipated. He couldn't find her spirit and that was when he realized his terrible mistake. The Kikyou that he followed to the realm of the underworld and of death was not really Kikyou but a wraith, a walking ghost of her memories, filled with vengeance and dark love for him. It pulled him to guilt and trapped him there; never letting him forget his part on her tragic death and the obligation he must fulfill as his devotion and promise to Kikyou.
Why had he not seen it before?
Kikyou's anger had shot an arrow to his heart on the thought of betrayal on that unforgettable day. But she had forgiven him when she returned and pulled out the arrow to free him.
He was blind. He didn't see that the true Kikyou wasn't the clay doll but Kagome who unselfishly loved and followed him. There were countless of times that he pushed Kagome away, making her understand that he was not for her.
Yet despite all that, he loved her. He was beside himself with jealousy of that wolf and of that young boy on the future. They knew how to take care of her and it sometimes scared him to think that she would leave him for them.
He was being damned selfish yet he can't help it. He would not let her go but he would not also let her know that he loved her.
The sound of pouring rain drummed into his consciousness. Inuyasha shivered as the blast of wind hovered in his direction. He inched closer to the stone tablet, letting his head rest on the hard concrete as the rain continuously pelted on him, soaking him wet with cold water.
In the distance, he heard thunder and soon the trees rattled against the fury of the tempest.
On this cold and stormy night he had only memories of her to keep him warm.
Putting his arms around him, he closed his eyes and dreamt about her.
In his dream, he made love to her. The darkness of the forest partially hid their bodies under the light of the moon as together they writhed in passion, seeking release and comfort on this melancholy night. He could still remember the way she smelled, how her scent invaded his brain. In his mind he memorized the contours of her body with his eyes, hands and kisses. Above her, he could see her face and he would have given everything in the world just to witness again the expression on her face as they reached ecstasy.
She told him that she loved him when he cried out her name.
For a moment, they lay, basking in the warmth of the afterglow. He gathered her into his arms, letting her head lie on his chest.
They didn't intend for this to happen but he didn't know if they would regret tomorrow. Afraid to shatter the moment, he absently stroked her hair and wished that this night would not be over.
He would soon join her in her sleep when something had caught his eye. A shinidaimachu streaked through the shadows and its presence could only mean one thing. This alarmed him and as he was about to rise, he felt Kagome's grip on his arm. She was still sound asleep, but her hand would never let him go.
Thus he just sat there by her side, gazing at her and marveling on the feeling of her love for him.
But he had to leave. It would be just for a moment and he would return to her.
Looking around, he reached out for a smooth stout branch lying not far from them. Kagome stirred as he pried out his arm from her grasp but was soon calmed when place the branch on her hands.
It was a pathetic replacement, he knew but he would soon come back and when he does, Kagome would be awake and angry. So furious that she would maybe bash that branch over his head and call him a jerk.
Smiling wryly at that thought, he proceeded to clothe himself and just before he left, he placed his red hinezumi over her.
" I'll soon be back, Kagome. Don't worry."
And with that, he kissed her and went away.
He found Kikyou standing alone in the meadow with the moon behind her, giving her that unearthly light. Even at the distance, he could feel her gaze on him as he made his way through the field of grass. Her lifeless eyes were afire with rage that he shuddered as he looked into it.
" You have come to me even though you were with her."
" I do not regret what has happened,Kikyou."
A billow of wind passed through them yet both of them remained unmoving.
" It is not entirely unexpected. You have your needs after all."
That remark stung him and as she turned away from him, he walked in front of her and told her he would keep his promise to kill Naraku and avenge her death.
If she could have laughed to mock his declaration, she would. But Kikyou just raised her brows at him.
" It matters not anymore, Inuyasha. You are lost to me."
" Kikyou, you do not understand." His voice became desperate." I still care for you."
"Liar."
Inuyasha was stunned speechless at the harshness of her voice. He noticed not long after the shinidaimachus that had gathered around them, their long luminescent bodies gleaming and dancing like dark fireflies of the night.
" I pledge to you my soul. I will protect and watch over you… "
He stared back at Kikyou, recognizing the promise that he had given to her before. Word for word she remembered it and spoke his oath as if it was hers. His heart wrenched into torment and his guilt taunted him. He whispered her name but she would not stop.
"….Unceasingly, without heed to time or mortality."
" Kikyo…"
She backed away from him, gradually she sunk down to earth and the shinidaimachus continued to glide in frenzy.
Panic surged through him as he realized she meant to go to the underworld.
"Wherever you would go…."
" Kikyou!!!" He screamed but still she went on.
" I will follow you…"
He reached out when she held out her hand, beckoning him to join her.
"… As my soul is bound to yours."
Then the ground opened up and together they fell down into the abyss with their arms around each other.
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Before the first ray of sun had shone, Chiwaii had already made breakfast for the family and was on his way to do his weekly ritual when he saw Sota slumped near a shed. Sighing, he then carried his sleeping uncle back to the house, nearly gagging from the smell of alcohol.
Half an hour later, riding on his bicycle, he finally arrived in the cemetery.
Chaining his bike to the gate, he took out the steamed dumpling among the pile of schoolbooks from the basket.
Inhaling the freshness of the morning, Chiwaii set out for his mother's grave.
It was, as always for every first day of the week, he would visit his mother's resting place to eat breakfast and confide to her. He wasn't about to break that tradition just because of a certain person he wanted very much to avoid would also be there.
From a certain distance, Chiwaii could see the aforementioned hanyou sprawled ungracefully on the grass, with his head on the gravestone.
With Inuyasha still in deep slumber, Chiwaii took the opportunity to study the person who had sired him more intently. Until now it was a shock to him to see his father look so much like him. Though he did not possess the dog-ears, they could almost be mistaken as twins especially on the time of the new moon.
For some unexplainable reason, he was angry of seeing the hanyou there. Why had he not sought shelter from the rain? Chiwaii thought when he observed that Inuyasha was still wet from last night's rain. It was a pitiful picture, his hanyou father, soiled with mud and bits of grass and leaves that clung to either his clothes or white hair.
He sat down carefully so as not to stain his uniform and came closer to Inuyasha. Curiosity got the better of him and his sights were set on those ears. He wanted to pinch them to see if they were real.
Amber eyes stared at him and Chiwaii nearly jumped back in surprise.
They stared at each other for a moment and finally Inuyasha spoke:
" I'll bring her back. Mark my words…"
The boy flustered on the intensity and determination gleaming in Inuyasha's eyes.
" I'll wish for the Shikon no Tama to bring Kagome back."
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Author's Notes:
For previous readers if you noticed, I edited the last part of this chapter. I wasn't really satisfied with the other one.
Most of the things aforementioned about are my theories regarding Inuyasha and his relationship to Kikyou. I don't paint her as something of a coldhearted evil b---th. It comes with being dead and jealous of the other girl who looks like you and steals your guy. I really had difficulty thinking of that dialogue between Inuyasha and her.
If something doesn't sound right or logical. Please tell me so I could make improvements. I'm trying very hard to understand them so I can write this story properly.
Thank you to all those people who reviewed and gave comments. It encouraged me to write more and better.
I've been reading some previous chapters and decided I will edit some of them.
Thanks again!