Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, storylines or settings. I have no affiliation with the WB network. So don't sue me 'cause you won't get anything!
A/N: Hello there! Thnx for all of the reviews! Also another thing… I start school on Monday so I'll only be updating on weekends (but I might do two chapters… one on Friday one on Sunday… but I don't know, I might not have enough time for two… but I will get at least one done every weekend!). ENJOY!
SQULLY: like I said before… don't be discouraged this is a PJ fic!
Ch.3 – Mistakes Must Be Made
That night was the longest and hardest Joey ever had. She still had to choose between Dawson and Pacey… but who to choose? She loved both of them… but in completely different ways…
The only problem was she needed both of those loves to keep her moving. It was an impossible decision… one that had no happy ending.
Joey tried to drift off into a peaceful sleep but unfortunately for her it had turned into one of the most terrifying nightmares of her life…
Joey made her way to Doug's apartment where Pacey was currently staying and rang the bell to gain admittance into their home.
"Who's there?"
"It's me… Joey. Let me in Pace… I need to talk to you."
They door opened immediately and Joey saw the most horrified look she had ever seen.
"What's wrong Pace?"
Joey was worried about Pacey… she had never seen him like this before.
"Nothing… everything…"
There was a silence between them before Pacey spoke up again
"The contemplation that you didn't choose me… the consideration that you did…"
Joey was still very puzzled by Pacey… she didn't know what was going on… only that she had made her decision and now had to voice it…
"Pace… I've made my decision…"
Pacey waited patiently for it… never taking his gaze off of Joey's.
"Now you know I love you Pace… but I also love Dawson… he's my soul mate… you know? He's the one person who I can always depend on… the one person I know will always have room for me in his life…"
At this point Pacey was trying to hold back his tears as the realization swept over him… it was all over… she didn't want him… she didn't… she wanted Dawson… Dawson…
"But at the same time… here you are… I love you so much… but I don't know if I'm willing to take the risk… I just… Dawson is such a big part of my life… I don't think that I could give that up for… for well… anything."
Pacey wasn't trying to hold back his tears anymore… but whenever one fell he was sure to wipe it away with his hands…
How could I be so stupid? To actually think that Joey Potter would give up everything that she held dear (essentially Dawson) for me? He felt like an idiot… how could he be so naïve?
He looked at her through watery eyes… seeing the sorrow… the pain that was in him… he quickly looked away and began to shake his head and chuckle as the tears were now streaming down his face…
"I should have known… you'll never give Dawson up for anything will you Potter?"
This question stung at Joey's heart but wouldn't let it show… she didn't want to seem weak… she didn't want him to see her so weak…
"I guess this is it then Jo…"
Pacey looked up at her again, a tear stained face explaining all his hurt.
"I guess so…"
Joey let one tear run down her face… she quickly wiped it away when it came to her lower cheek… she couldn't be weak… she had to be strong… she had to… just did…
Pacey looked back up at her again and they gazed at one another for a while… just standing… waiting… waiting for anything… a sign… the inevitable… anything that could explain what to do next.
Pacey's head dropped again… he couldn't take it anymore… he just couldn't look at her anymore… he had to get away… get away… away…
He backed away from her… the apartment suddenly becoming dark and nonexistent as she saw Pacey's figure melt away into it.
"Pacey! Pacey please don't go! DON"T GO!"
She tried to grab out for him but it was too late… she was now in an eternal darkness all on her own… she was all alone… she had done this to herself… it was all her fault… all her fault… all… fault…
It's so cold… in the darkness… there's no way to escape it… no way…
"I love you…"
She heard a voice echo in the darkness…
Pacey… a warm feeling ran over her but quickly disappeared when the echo was now completely gone… he was completely gone…
"No…"
Joey whispered to herself. She curled up into a ball and began to rock back and forth trying to stop her tears from falling… she wanted it to all go away… she wanted it to all be gone… she wanted to take it all back… she wanted to be with Pacey… so badly.
If only she could just take it all back… if only she could… if only…
She was crying for a while… just alone in her undying darkness she had created… until finally she opened her eyes up wide to see… nothing… nothing at all… no Dawson… no Pacey… just… nothing…
She began to sob more and more cursing the darkness… cursing it… cursing…
All she wanted to do was go back to the beginning… before any of this happened… before Pacey and Dawson… before it all… she just wanted to have things the way they were again… but she never could… never…
Suddenly she heard a noise, sharp and painful screeching into her ears… she quickly shot up and realized that it had all been a dream… just a bad dream…
"Just a dream… just a dream…"
But that dream would haunt her forever… the thought of being all alone like that… she wouldn't have it… she couldn't have it… she would never let that happen… all she wanted was to be happy… and that was what she would be… happy… happy with Pacey?… with Dawson?…
She still didn't know the answer to the everlasting question… who would she be with… would she ever really know? She had no clue…
But she still had a decision to make… a very hard one… but one that had to be made… there was no way out… never would…
Reviews are very much appreciated! If you have any questions or anything I'll answer them in the begging of the next chapter! Also I would really appreciate some constructive criticism (if you have any that is). THNX FOR READING MY FIC!