Disclaimer: I'm really hyper…. I must have drank too much of that Chinese tea! That reminds me… My 8-year-old sister made a comic about some racist Chinese people. They got run over by a train

What the hell kinda disclaimer was that!

!#$&()!#$&()!#$&()!#$&()!#$&()+

"Hmm… so troublesome," muttered Shikamaru as he slowly pulled himself up a flight of stairs, "I need an elevator. Or an escalator."

He managed to drag himself all the way up. "And I really, really need a nap."

He pulled open the door to his room, and was about to flop down on his bed when he noticed that there was someone already lying there. His expression turned to his trademark pout.

He ripped the covers off the intruder, only to find some guy with this weird (but cool) hat that looked like it had ears.

"Kankuro?" said Shikamaru, mystified.

Kankuro didn't wake up, only grunted slightly, so Shikamaru poked him.

"Love is like being beside a nice, fresh loaf of bread," mumbled Kankuro.

"What the hell?" asked Shikamaru.

"Hmmm? Sorry. I was having a dream about The Brave Little Toaster. Who's your favorite character from that movie?"

"The vacuum cleaner."

"Did you ever see The Brave Little Toaster Two?"

"Yes. Now, what the hell are you doing in my bed!"

"I heard they were making a third movie to the series," continued Kankuro, oblivious to the question.

"Um… Kankuro… Why are you wearing women's clothing?" Shikamaru asked, noticing Kankuro's maid costume for the first time.

"Kankuro? Who's that? I-I'm…" Kankuro stuttered.

"Go on. Who are you then?" Shikamaru was becoming quite annoyed. What was with this troublesome guy?

"I'm Kangaroo?"

Shikamaru just stared. A cross-dressing ninja from the sand country was sitting on his bed talking about kangaroos. What the hell.

"Okaaay… So get out of my bed. And what are you doing in my house, anyways?"

"I'm a maid! Your dad hired me to clean up the house. I better get cleaning!" he giggled, and rushed off.

Shikamaru just stared after Kankuro, his eyes bulging out. What the HELL was going on here? What was Kankuro doing disguised as a maid? Why was he even in Konoha?

And why the hell was he in my bed? wondered Shikamaru. I'm going to find out! But first… My nap.

He awoke a few hours later. To his great distaste, he had had a dream about flying toasters.

"Frigging toasters," he groaned, clutching his head. His stomach let out a loud rumble and he realized how hungry he was. He walked downstairs, planning on raiding the refrigerator.

When he opened the fridge, though, there was nothing to raid. All there that was there was beer and mustard.

"Dammit," he mumbled, "I'm going to have to go shopping again! Why doesn't anyone ever tell me when we're out of food?"

His stomach let out another loud rumble.

"Oh, Shikamaru-kun!" called a voice, unmistakably Kankuro's, from behind him.

He turned around, "Don't call me that… And I thought you were supposed to be cleaning or something."

"I made lunch for you!" Kankuro, still dressed in his maid's outfit, held out a plate full of food. The noodles seemed to be wiggling.

"Ummm… you are so seriously scaring me now, Kankuro. I'm going over to Chouji's for a while." Shikamaru needed to get away from Kankuro, and he knew that there was always plenty of food available at Chouji's.

"My name's Kangaroo! And aren't you going to eat the lunch I made for you?"

Shikamaru left, leaving Kankuro, all alone except for the wiggling mess that he had made for lunch.

Shikamaru stood, tapping his foot on the front step of Chouji's house. He rang the doorbell again. Nobody answered.

"Stupid Chouji… He must be eating too loudly to hear the doorbell! Man, I really need some food."

He turned and walked down the steps, disheartened. Who else could he mooch food off of? Asuma, maybe?

He started walking down the road on the way to Asuma's house when he spotted Naruto.

"Hey, Shikamaru! What's up?" grinned the blond boy, walking faster to catch up with his friend.

"Kankuro," grumbled Shikamaru.

Naruto stopped for a minute, puzzled. Then he sped up again to keep up with Shikamaru.

"What? Kankuro's… up? Ewww, that's nasty!"

"Dumbass!" snapped Shikamaru, hitting Naruto over the head, "That isn't what I meant!"

"Ow! That hurt! But why did you mention Kankuro..? He left with Gaara, didn't he?"

"I don't know! He's hanging around my house pretending to be a maid!"

"What the hell?" said Naruto.

"I don't know! But can I please have some food?"

"Do you like ramen?"

"Yeah, sure."

Naruto led the way over to his house.

"Ummm… Sorry about the mess!" said Naruto sheepishly as they walked inside.

"It's fine," Shikamaru answered, "You shoulda seen my place before Kankuro cleaned it…"

Naruto paused while taking some leftover ramen out of the fridge. "Is Kankuro REALLY at your house?" he asked.

"Yes! YES! Why would I tell you that if he wasn't!" Shikamaru grabbed the bowl from Naruto and began to eat it noisily.

"Are you going to eat that cold?"

"Mmmphh," replied Shikamaru through a mouthful of noodles.

"Too lazy to heat it up I guess," sighed Naruto.

Shikamaru nodded.

"So are you going to leave any of that for me?" Naruto exhaled noisily.

"Why are you exhaling noisily?" Shikamaru paused from eating to look at Naruto.

Naruto pounced on him, trying to wrestle away the half-empty bowl of ramen. Shikamaru lost his footing, and he fell on the ground, Naruto on top of him. The noodles spilled everywhere.

"You wasted a perfectly good lunch!" complained Shikamaru.

"Whatever, the floor's clean," mumbled Naruto, slurping up noodles from all over the place.

"Hey, guys! Ummm… why are you covered in noodles?"

Shikamaru tilted back his head and looked up at who was talking. "Ah! Kankuro! Naruto, keep him busy for a minute! I have to get out of here!"

"Hmmm?" Naruto looked up from a noodle he was slurping, "Why is he dressed like a girl?"

Shikamaru didn't bother to answer. He pushed Naruto forcibly off of him, got to his feet, and ran out of the house in a split second.

Naruto tried to stand up, but ended up slipping on noodles and fell over again. He looked up at Kankuro.

"What are you doing?"

Kankuro giggled. "I brought Shikamaru his lunch!"

Naruto glanced at the "lunch". "Shikamaru already ate. And besides, that looks so gross even I wouldn't eat it!"

"Oh."

"And don't giggle! That just freaks me out! What are you doing here, Kankuro?"

"Hmm… I was looking for Shikamaru… But he ran off on me. And I'm not Kankuro! I'm just an innocent little maid!"

Naruto squinted at him. "Come on, Kankuro! Even I'm not that stupid! What do you want with Shikamaru?"

"Sorry, Naruto. You figured out my true identity."

"Sorry? What—"

Naruto was stopped in mid-sentence by a swift kick to the head.

"I cannot let you get in the way of my plans."