Phoebe recognized the look inCole's eyes and flashed back to the last time she'd seen him in the basement. She knew there could be no reasoning with him now and she nearly stumbled backwards into the door. "Go back, Cole…" But when he ignored her, she reached behind for the doorknob and tamped down all temptation to ask how he'd known she would be there when he had long been dead by the time she decided to go back in time, not even knowing where she'd end up. No, she didn't want to know, she wanted to get away as fast as she could. She didn't want to talk to him. Cole was gone forever and she wasn't here to change the past, hers or his. And yet she still found the words escaping her lips, "Go back, Cole, start over. Somewhere far away from me and my family. Go before it's too late."
He cornered her at the door, catching her between his arms that were propped against the door. He ignored the way she stiffened in fear as he bent his head lower and menacingly insisted directly in her ear, "Tell me why you came here. Tell me why you pretended the next day not to remember anything about visiting me in the middle of the night. Tell me why you let me go on with the lies if you already knew the truth about me."
"Because I didn't know," she whispered. "It hadn't happened."
He pulled his head back but didn't let her move, "What do you mean?"
"Time travel," she replied, barely audible. "Look at me," she quietly requested, "I'm not the same woman I was back then."
His anger subsided slightly, "You look exactly as I remember. What are you talking about?"
With a burst of energy, Phoebe ducked under his arms and ran for the bathroom where she gasped at the sight of her reflection. He was right. She looked exactly as she did five years earlier when they'd first met. She touched her hair and her cheeks and couldn't stop the tears as she saw the familiar face she'd been born with but hadn't seen for two months. Her knees buckled and she let herself slide to the floor as she buried her face in her hands and cried.
The sight of her crying was too much for him and Cole quickly knelt next to her and pulled Phoebe into his arms. "It'll be okay," he soothed as he gently rocked her. He cocked an ear towards the bedroom even though he knew his past self was sound asleep again. But he knew the dangers of toying with the past and decided to put a bit more distance between themselves and the bedroom. So he went to the only safe place he knew.
8888888888888888888888888888888888888
Phoebe slowly gained control of her emotions and became more aware of the strong arms holding her. Allowing herself just a moment of contentment, she nuzzled his chest before she slowly pulled back. She was surprised by the change in location. She hadn't even felt it happen. She pushed herself from his arms and stood, gazing around the dark mausoleum. "Sorry," she apologized, "I didn't mean to break down like that."
Knowing how Phoebe tended to keep things bottled inside until they exploded, he acknowledged, "I shouldn't have surprised you like that."
"How did you know?"
"The nightmare," he confessed. "Usually, you were asleep when I'd killed you. Sometimes you managed a question or a comment before I ended your life. But not once in the dream did you ever tell me it would be okay in the morning or wish me sweet dreams."
A distant memory suddenly revealed itself as she remembered, "You asked me if I'd paid you a midnight visit and I thought you were kidding. I assured you, you wouldn't be asking if I'd paid you a visit, you would've definitely remembered……That was the day you nearly broke the Power of Three."
"The Triad paid me a visit of their own later that night in order to remind me of my mission," Cole nodded, "and that failure wasn't an option."
"Yet you told me later that you deliberately sabotaged your own plan," she acknowledged. "You couldn't go through with it."
"Because of you," he stated in a tone that was a mixture of regret and sorrow. Would it have all been easier if he had gone through with his plan? Would he have been better off never knowing the pain rediscovering his heart would bring him? "You were so serious," he recalled, "about not being here that I chalked it up to being a variation of the nightmare. But it was the only significant variation and, in the back of my mind, I always wondered about that particular night. And," he shrugged, "now that I have all these powers, I thought it was time to do something useful with them."
"Why now?" she warily asked.
"Because, my dear ex-wife, you've just informed me that you feel absolutely nothing for me," he coldly replied, "and I figured I had nothing left to lose."
Phoebe shivered at the reminder of his assault on the manor and the nexus. "So now you know," she quietly commented. Maybe now he'd leave and she could solve her problem alone.
"I know nothing of the sort," he retorted. "What were you doing here? And make it the truth for once."
"I never lied to you!" she sputtered in outrage.
"Debatable," he stated and stepped closer to her. "Now, I want an answer. Why did you go back in time to see me this night?"
She folded her arms across her chest and walked a few steps away from him. He might know she was from the future but not from when. As far as he knew, she'd traveled back from his own time and she wasn't about to reveal that she was from his future, but one in which he no longer existed. "You hurt me, Cole." And she held up her hand to prevent him from interrupting, "Whether you meant to or not, you hurt me. And I'm feeling very much lost right now. I don't know how to move forward with my life and I cast a spell to remind me of a time when I was happy. I thought if I could relive the moment, I would understand what I need to do to recapture it."
"Do you mean to tell me you couldn't recall a single happy time we shared? You had to pick a night when I had a nightmare about killing you?" This time, his tone didn't hold anger but curiosity. "Why not go back to one of our dates or one of our demon-hunting expeditions or any other one of our moments of our two years together?"
"The spell wasn't geared to a specific event," she shrugged. "This's just where I ended up."
"At least I've learned what I'd wanted to know," he conceded. "Why hasn't your spell played out?"
She shrugged again and couldn't stop the tears. "Dammit…" she muttered. "I'm just so unhappy," she cried to him. "I don't know how to move forward when I can't let go of the past."
"I'm sorry," he quickly apologized as he reached out for her.
She shook her head, "It's not just you. It's me too. I've messed up so many times and I've hurt so many people. I never meant to hurt you, Cole. But there was never any time to react. You just kept coming and coming and I started fighting back the only ways I knew how. I didn't want it to end like that. I swear. And there are times…" She caught herself in time from saying, 'I still miss you.'
"I know," he admitted, dropping his arms to his sides. "There are times I wish it was different too. I can't change the past, Phoebe. But, maybe, just maybe I can change the future."
That only caused Phoebe to burst into fresh tears as she dashed forward into him. She clung to him and, as his arms slowly encircled her, she tried to press herself closer. 'If only this was real.' Shocked by that wish, Phoebe stiffened.
"Phoebe?"
She meant it, she realized. She really did wish this wasn't some visit to the past, that he would somehow be waiting for her when she returned. She looked up at him and sniffled. She missed him. That's the loss she kept feeling. The love she felt for him, that they felt for each other. She silently caressed his cheek. Their love had been so powerful and its intensity was what had been missing from all her other relationships after he was gone. Drake...Drake was the only one who had probably come closest to capturing what she'd had with Cole and maybe if he hadn't died…
Cole placed his hand on top of hers and slowly brought it to his lips, never averting his gaze from her eyes. Something had changed within her. He saw it in her eyes, felt it in her touch. She had discovered her answer and, before the spell would send her back, he wanted to take advantage of it. He needed to. And when she didn't pull her hand free, he seized the opportunity and bent his head to find her lips.
And Phoebe found herself responding to his desire. But it scared her and she struggled to free herself.
"I swear it'll be different," he promised her. "When we get back, I'll give you the space you want. But, please, don't shut me out, not when we both know this is right. I love you, Phoebe, and I know you love me."
Tears stung her eyes and she shook her head, "I'm not denying th--"
"But nothing..." He gently tugged her back into his arms, pleased when she didn't resist. "Let it go, even if it's just for tonight...please."
Her hands automatically reached up to caress his cheeks even as her head continued to shake in refusal. But the impulse was too great and the desire too overwhelming and Phoebe drew him closer and gave in to their love.
8888888888888888888888888888888888888