Chapter 6

"Hey Hermione do you remember on the first day of school this year that there was a ghost who was a knight?" asked Harry.

"Yes, Sir Cadogan!" said Hermione.

"What? Isn't he meant to be a portrait?!" asked Harry.

"It adds an artistic touch to the movie! Now shut up!" said Hermione, "the lesson is about to begin!"

213 hours later…

"Good morning class, because the dementors are obviously amateurs, this is evident by the dementors tying to make out with teenage boys who look nothing like Sirius Black, I've decided you have to defend yourselves and I shall teach you…now Neville…what are you scared of?" asked Professor Lupin.

"Umm…food, if anybody else has noticed I look extremely anorexic compared to the last movie!" said Neville.

"Anything else?"

"Uhh…Snape?" Neville tried again.

"Okay…think of your fears in a funny way and say Riddikulus!" said Lupin, opening a wardrobe.

(Weird, crazy circus music starts playing in the background)

Snape comes out in a drag queen get up. "I hope the drag queen thing isn't a reflection of Neville's personality or desires!" said Harry and co.

"Yay! I actually did something good!" said Neville.

"This class is ridiculous (riddikulus)…get it? Get it?" said Draco Malfoy suddenly on a stool, holding a microphone and sitting near a table with a glass of water. A drum sound is heard immediately after the joke, courtesy of magic…Ba dum dum chhhhhh!

"Draco Malfoy, a stand up comedian? Who'd have thought?" asked Harry.

Ron then turned a spider into…a spider with rollerskates?

"Parvati, next!" said Lupin.

Everyone gasped as she turned her worst fear into…an evil clown?

"Not helping Parvati! Turning your fear into something…worse? Why am I still teaching?" cried Lupin, "Oh right, Dumbledore was the only employer who'd accept me due to the fact that I'm a werewo—"

"My turn!" said Harry who was about to go on when Lupin jumped up in front of him and a moon appeared in front of them! "Okay class ended!" said Lupin.

Everyone was puzzled with the silver orb that appeared. "Maybe he's scared of aliens" said Harry, people nodded in agreement.

"Maybe he's scared of circular objects!" said Hermione, again everyone nodded in agreement.

"Maybe the orb is actually a moon, and he's a werewolf so he's scared of the moon!" said Seamus.

Everyone laughed and threw books at Seamus.