Shikamaru decided it was time to go on a trip. A long, long, trip, he decided. Sure, being Gaara's chair had been nice – for a time. But then he started developing chronic back problems. And he thought Kankuro was getting rather suspicious. Why did he think Kankuro was suspicious? Well, largely because he heard the following dialogue:

"Garra?" Kankuro had asked.

"You said my name wrong," Gaara said, looking up from the issue of 17 Magazine he was reading.

"Sorry?" said Kankuro, confused.

"Well, it's actually Gaara, not Garra like you said it. It has two 'a's and only one 'r'."

"Okay," agreed Kankuro cheerfully, "but anyways, I wanted to ask you about your new chair."

Gaara grunted.

"Well, I mean, I've been looking for Shikamaru everywhere, gotta complete my mission, you know. I mean, Temari's been off to the gym every day this week, hasn't set a foot near Chouji's house, and you, well, you haven't done anything since Sasuke called you a blob!" Kankuro said.

Gaara looked up from his magazine threateningly, "Let's not bring that up, shall we?" He said, every word dripping with menace.

"Er, okay," said Kankuro, "but since I haven't seen Shikamaru anywhere lately, I was just wondering if you knew where he was."

"No idea," said Gaara. He flipped the page.

"Well, it seems kind of suspicious to me that about the time Shikamaru went missing, you acquired a chair which looked exactly like him."

Underneath Gaara, Shikamaru squirmed uncomfortably.

"Don't know where you got that idea from," said Gaara coolly.

"Oh come on, Gaara, I'm not an idiot!" said Kankuro exasperatedly.

"Well, that sucks," said Gaara casually.

"No it doesn't – hey," said Kankuro, getting suspicious, "What is that supposed to mean?"
Gaara rolled up his magazine and stuffed it in his pocked. Then he stood up.

"If you were an idiot, I wouldn't have to kill you."

Kankuro quickly realized that Gaara's new chair was nothing more than an ordinary piece of furniture and decided to go off and do the laundry.

Gaara sat back down.

!#$&()!#$&()+

But in the following days, Shikamaru saw Kankuro eyeing him when Gaara wasn't looking. These made Shikamaru very uncomfortable, and decide to take his aforementioned long trip.

The Snow Country souds nice, thought Shikamaru, Or maybe Costa Rica. Yeah, I've always wanted to go to Costa Rica.

"Gaara?" asked Shikamaru hesitatingly at dinner one night.

"What is it, chair?" asked Gaara, munching on some corn.

"I've always wanted to go to Costa Rica," he confided.

Gaara peered down at Shikamaru. "Costa Rica?" he asked

"Well, yes," Shikamaru found himself squirming uncomfortably again, "To see the monkeys and things."

Gaara looked at Shikamaru. He looked at him for a long time. Then, finally, he said, "Go."

"Really?"

Gaara stood up. Shikamaru stood up.

"Go, my beloved chair. Go to Costa Rica where the monkies sing to you each morning and you drink coconut wind amongst beautiful women and Paul Martin, the most beautiful of them all. Go, surf on the beaches, fulfill you dreams, and come back," Gaara choked out, "Come back a better man."

Shikamaru assured him that he would.

!#$&()!#$&()+

Sasuke looked disbelievingly at the potbellied pig in his arms.

"This?" he asked incredulously, "This is it?"

He laughed.

"Hinata! I did you a great dishonour, and this is the best you can come up with? A piglet? I would have thought better of you! This," he put the pig carefully on the front step, then yelled as loud as he could so that the whole street could hear, "THIS IS PATHETIC! IF YOU ARE HEIR TO THE HYUUGA CLAN, YOU SHOULD DO MORE TO PROTECT YOUR HONOUR!"

Then he went inside to make jell-o.

He heard a crash from the entrance hallway. Slowly he turned. And there stood Peppermen, who had just crashed down the front door.

Peppermen knew kung-fu.

!#$&()!#$&()+

"Stupid pig," mumbled Sasuke one hour later. He had an ice pack on his forehead as he sat in front of the T.V. Peppermen had beaten him up so badly that he wasn't sure he'd be able to move for a week. Stupid Hinata had gotten her revenge after all. And she had found his trophy. Which was in the crate with the barbies.

Sasuke was very sore from being beat up by Peppermen's superior kung-fu skills. Well, I suppose Hinata's had her revenge after all, he thought bitterly to himself.

Little did he know that this was just the beginning.

!#$&()!#$&()+

Hinata carefully placed Sasuke's trophy on the bookcase. It said "1st Prize Winner Konoha Leather Pants Tournament. Congratulations Sasuke!" But that was crossed out so it now said "Hinata".

Hinata was very happy. The first part of her plan had been exacted perfectly. She was delirious with happiness, in fact, she felt very, very happy.

She decided to go and see Kiba. She ducked into the dog kennel, but Kiba wasn't there. Neither was Akamaru. There were only some very lonely dogs.

Hinata wasn't happy any more. Where was Kiba? She wanted to – Well, we don't need to mention it, but let's just say it didn't involve Lucky Charms.

And Kiba wasn't here to do her bidding. Hinata wasn't happy at all anymore. In fact, she was livid.

!#$&()!#$&()+

Shino was happily playing with his bugs. His favourite bug was named Morton. Morton used to be a circus bug. He did tricks like jumping through flaming hoops and dancing around nude. Morton's girlfriend was named Sarah Rose. She liked sitting on the toilet. She could sit there for hours on end, without getting bored. Luckily, she had been trained to move if she saw a butt, so that she wouldn't get squished by an unknowing toilet-goer.

"That's it, Morton!" said Shino, "Do the dancing trick!"

Morton obliged, and his fellow bugs all oohed and aahed appreciatively, but none louder than Sarah Rose.

Shino decided to join in. He took off all his clothes and began to dance around the room, waving his arms and kicking his legs.

Unfortunately, it was at that moment that Hinata appeared in his doorway.

There was a rather uncomfortable silence.

Hinata looked away as Shino quickly picked his clothes up from where they had been tossed rather unceremoniously on the floor and put them on.

Morton quickly did the same, and then scuttled off with Sarah Rose into a dark corner under the dresser where they could have some privacy.

"Er, hello Hinata," said Shino uncomfortably.

Hinata uncovered her eyes.

"What can I do for you?" Shino asked, regaining his jovial manner.

"Where's Kiba?" asked Hinata, getting straight to the point.

"You know, I couldn't tell you," replied Shino, a slight frown crossing his face, "Haven't heard from him in days."

"Really?" asked Hinata a little doubtfully, "You're his best friend! Wouldn't he tell you before he just ran off?"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't tell you."

"I think you could," said Hinata with an ugly look on her face, "I think I could convince you to talk."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" said Shino, unnecessarily loudly.

"You know what I think?" asked Hinata, "I think your little buddy asked you not to tell me where he went."

Hinata reached under the dresser and pulled out Morton. He squirmed desperately, but she held on. She dangled him in Shino's face.

"Don't threaten me!" Shino gulped, sweat now running down his face.

Hinata grabbed one of Morton's legs and began to pull. The little bug began squirming frantically, aware of the danger he was in. Hinata pulled harder.

"OKAY! I'LL TALK!"

"Good," said Hinata smugly, and released the bug. Morton scrambled over to Sarah Rose, who began cuddling him comfortingly.

"He- he went on his World Tour," said Shino, his face turned away from Hinata.

Hinata squinted. "World Tour?" she asked.

"Here's a pamphlet," Shino handed her a paper with big bold letters on it. "And here's some free underwear."

Hinata put the underwear un her back pocket and looked at the pamphlet.

"The first date here – that's in two days from now!" Hinata exclaimed, "I could easily catch up to him!"

"I don't think so," said Shino, "Take another look."

Hinata looked down at the pamphlet again. "WHAT? It's in Costa Rica?"

"Yep," said Shino smugly, "You'll never catch him."

"We'll see about that," said Hinata, and she strode from the room with a smile playing at her lips.

"You'll never get him!" called Shino after her.

"Why not?" she turned.

Shino's look couldn't have been any haughtier. "It's in a BOYS BATHROOM!"