Chapter 15

"This is so horrible!" said Hermione.

"Yeah—ahh—Scabbers! Come back here!" said Ron. The three friends run quickly to capture the...rat?

"Is the rat really that important to you Ron?" Hermione asked.

"Hell yeah! It'll help make the plot more interesting! Oh my god! There's a big dog near the whomping willow!" said Ron, as he dived towards Scabbers and fell to the ground causing permanent injury on his leg.

The big bad dog began to pull Ron and Scabbers inside the Whomping Willow!

"Damn! He always gets himself into shit!" said Harry.

"All for a stupid vermin!" said Hermione, "Oh look there's a back door into this tree! Lets save the day!" said Hermione.

"Fine whatever, but if anyone asks…I did all the fighting and you were the sidekick!" said Harry.

Inside the Whomping Willow…

"Hey it's an underground tunnel and I hear Ron screaming!" said Harry. The tunnel leads up higher and higher until they reached what looked like the inside of some battered up mansion.

"Harry!" said Ron.

"He's in that room to my left!" said Hermione.

"Help Harry!" said Ron.

"We're coming Ron!" the duo exclaimed together.

"No don't come in! It's actually a trick!" said Ron.

"What the hell Ron? First you say you want help and now you don't want us to come in! Make up your mind!" Harry said, rolling his eyes, "Damn it! I'm coming in!"

Harry burst through the door and saw Sirius Black standing in front of him!

"Kill us before you kill him!" said Harry and Hermione.

"That can be arranged—I mean—only one person will die tonight!" said Sirius.

"Oh my god, Harry, he is sooo talking about you!" said Hermione.

"Thanks, you've just made me feel so much better" said Harry.

Harry and co. tackled Sirius, Harry was about to cast a spell on Sirius when—Lupin came in!

"Don't touch him!" said Lupin.

"Sanctuary! Sanctuary, Lupin!" said Sirius.

Sirius and Lupin hug!

"What the hell? Lupin you homosexual traitor!" said Harry 'the homophobic' Potter, about to perform a death spell on Lupin.

Snape suddenly came in!

"Lupin is a werewolf!" said Hermione.

"Whatever!" said Harry and Ron.

"Damn it! Did that essay I made you both write on how to identify a werewolf teach you nothing?" shrieked Snape.

"Like everybody says, Snape, you would never make a good Defense against the Dark Arts teacher!" said Harry.

"Good comeback, Harry" said everyone in the room except Snape.

"5 billion points from Gryffindor—anyway, back to business—I'm going to kill you Black!" said Snape.

"No! It was all Pettigrew's fault! He's alive, Harry saw him on the map!" said Lupin.

"NO!" said all the shocked people in the room!

"Yes!" said Lupin.

"You're a liar—I'm going to kill you— " started Snape.

"Abra Kedabra!" said Harry, knocking Snape out.

"Lupin can't be a werewolf! He just can't! Next you're going to tell me that Peter Pettigrew is Ron's rat, my dad is an animagi stag and Sirius was that big bad dog that pulled Ron into the whomping willow", Harry said sarcastically.

"Well Harry…now that you mention it…" said Sirius.

"What? I'm right? Damn I'm good! Maybe I should take Professor Trelawney's job when she bites the dust! Or maybe not…" said Harry after witnessing the blank expressions on everybody's face after hearing his suggestion.

"Harry, I don't want to kill you—I want to kill the rat—that is actually Peter Pettigrew, the real guy who betrayed your parents!" said Sirius.

"Are you serious?" asked Harry.

"Yes, 'Sirius' is my name! Ahahaha!" said Sirius.

"Ahh…it all makes sense now…lets kill that rodent!" said Harry.

Wizard and muggle Animal Activists: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Give me your rat, Ron!" said Sirius.

"No way!" said Ron.

"Yes Way!" said Sirius.

"No way!" said Ron.

Lupin and Sirius transform the rat into Peter!

"Don't let them hurt me, master! Remember how much of a good pet I was?" said Peter.

"Sick! I let you sleep in my bed with me! Get lost, homo-pedophile!" said Ron.

"Let's kill him!" said everyone.

"No!" said Harry, "we can't kill him…we have to torture him first, then kill him!"

"Hurray!" the gang cheers, as Harry and Sirius discuss what medieval weapons of torture would be suitable.

"You truly are just like your father!" said Sirius, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Too true, Sirius!" said Lupin.

"Okay, let's hit the road", said Sirius, "tie up that dirty rat! Get it? Because he is a 'dirty rat' and like he used to be a rat? Get it, get it?"