A/N: Alright, I know I haven't updated in nearly a week. I had to go to this . . . camp thing at my school for the last three days so I was unable to update. Sorry for the little warning. And . . . uh . . . okay, I have a lot to say, but I'd rather say it at the end so . . . um, happy reading!
Thanks go out to: Bite Beccy, Bail's Other Daughter, Steelo, Starryeyes10, Kitty X, martini1988, QueenOfAces, froggy0319, alix33, mjag, moonlight, nursejay80, AnMaDeRoNi, snugglebug, jaggurl, Anne, ficchic, dansingwolf, Radiorox, cbw, wishwaters, Rocket Rain, sgcgirl52, tlk29, JJScottishGirl, Blueangel, aj, French-navy girl, Marge, Jane, Tina Frank, highplainswoman, mac AND harm fan, Ali Baba, super ducky, tumblebuttons, AB, Abigiale, macandharmlover, jazzy, vhosek malacath, Britainy, MartiniMac, HighHeel Shoe Lover, Sirus 745, Fan, Pissed off Poet 1, southernqt, BrittanyLS, sugar230, K, Ilovemyselftoday, eggy weg, xobabygurlxo, Reni-Maniac, Cille, ForensicsFreak1988, HMtogether4ever, MaritzaCarmichael, Lara783, janessab, tizy, June, vrbinkaCZ, Cherise, DD2, Bekka, Lani-LoveNPain, Dessler, mommie, daisymh, Laura, confused, basketball babe8, Strawberry Kittens, rainydays502, S, Broesel, ady, Kristie, writingismything, TV Angel 711, TaTe.ArI.Obsessed.Writers, MiDushiNoSushi, Basketball Babe8, Alex, Angie, Toplesslemon, Jules, prinnie, CJKS, ninjagirl987, Brontesgirl, Jules, Angie Capriatti, lance corporal boils, freezepops, FoxyWombat, Lauren, Syraë, Acer-127, Concrete Angel, Lullaby, Fran, Judy52sa, kd, BelovedOne, fic chic, disneygirl1962, Mackenise Jackson, Fran Thurston, Major Jagfan, and Knight of Caeli for your wonderful reviews! If I left anyone out, please let me know.
Dedicated to: my best friend Steelo for putting up with me while I wrote this story. I don't know if I ever would have had the courage to write it if it weren't for her . . . and to Strawberry Kittens for letting me run ideas by them (and Julie for guessing the plot!), you all for hanging in there even when Jake died, and to everyone above for being the most amazing reviewers I'll ever get!
Flashback to 'Promises to Keep' (Clay's POV)
Abbas stared at me in the perceptive way he did. "So that's why you're here is it, to avenge his death?" Abbas smiled. "You know, Webb, you and me are a lot alike. We're obsessed with our jobs, we're defiant to our employers, and the one thing that we love the most in the world, we'll never rest until we get it."
I shook my head violently. "You know, Abbas, if you had said that a year ago, maybe even a month ago I would have disagreed with you. That there are millions of differences between us." Abbas looked confused for a second. "But I'm smarter now, and there's really only one difference between the two of us." My gun pressed up against his temple, his eyes widened. "You would pull the trigger." And then I snapped back, the gun hitting hard on his head and I watched as his body slumped to the ground.
Andare a Lei
Same Time
The Hospital
Mac's POV
Beep Beep. Beep Beep.
My mind whirled as I watched two doctors sprint down the hall of the hospital, shouldering their way through to the operating table. Where Vera is . . . I shuddered. Not Vera. Not anyone. I wouldn't be able to stand it if anyone died. I cast a look at Harm in the bed beside me. My scrape was entirely a flesh wound, I didn't need to be in a hospital bed, but I was faint from the day's events, and I wanted to be close to Harm, so the doctors took pity on me. I almost wish they hadn't. There were so many more that needed the bed before me, but at the moment I was too tired to argue.
And then I saw him come out – the doctor. As a lawyer I read faces every day, study their body movement. The expressions etched into their features, the way they speak, all to see if they're lying. And as I laid there on the bed, I knew exactly what the doctor was going to say. The way his eyebrows furrowed as he walked towards me, the way his shoulders sagged, he had seen this happen many times. Too many times.
"May I speak to you outside?" His voice is soft but it cuts me to the core. I cast an anxious look at Harm beside me, wishing with all my heart he was awake.
"Yeah, sure," I whispered, climbing off the bed and walking out into the hall with him.
The doctor folded his arms over his chest uncomfortably. "I'm sorry to say that your friend isn't doing well at all." He sighed. "Do you remember that question that I asked you a little while ago?" I trembled as I nodded. He put a comforting arm on mine. "Well, I need an answer now. Do I save the mother, or the child?"
My breath caught in my throat. It was that bad. Vera or Vera and Clay's baby. I couldn't think. I could feel myself beginning to shake. I couldn't make the decision. But someone had to. "I . . . I don't . . ." I began, nervousness pounding against my ears. "Save . . ."
"The mother," Clay gasped from behind me. I whirled around to see him drenched in blood, sweat glistening on his forehead, his shirt ripped open. He cast an anxious look at me, wild eyed. "Save the mother."
And then he collapsed on the hospital floor.
Five Minutes Later
The Hospital
Clay's POV
"Vera . . ." I whisper as someone tries to slip an oxygen mask over my mouth. I'm thrashing on the bed. "No!" I fight the hands on me, turning my head every which way. My vision is blurry, colors blend into one another. My head is pounding. "No, I can't! I . . ."
"Calm down, Clay," Mac's voice fights its way to me. "Please, just calm down."
I relent slightly. "But where's . . .?"
"She's fine," Mac presses and I feel her arms pushing down on my chest, wrestling me onto the bed.
I'm dazed. "Liar," I whispered. I feel my shirt being removed. Evidently the doctors are checking for damage to my body. I guess Jake's blood had them fooled. I'm groggy as I try and sit up but am pushed back down. I swore.
"Clay, I'm going to be right back," she whispered in my ear as she patted my shoulder. "I need to check on Harm."
"But wait!" I called feebly from my bed. "Abbas is . . . Abbas . . ." I can't string a sentence together for the life of me. "Abbas . . . I . . . Jake . . ." Words swirl before my eyes. I feel nauseous. "Need Jake . . ."
"Where is he?" Mac asked and I felt myself internally puncture. She doesn't know. No one knows. No one except me. This is my fault.
Tears sting my eyes as I smile shakily. "With Jane."
And I know from Mac's soft exhale that she knows exactly what I'm talking about.
Later
Harm's Room
Harm's POV
I wake up to Mac's sob, her body close to mine. My mind whirls. You know that feeling you get when you wake up from a deep sleep in a strange place and you wonder how you got there? I had that right then and there, my eyes staring up at the whiteness of the walls and the ceiling. And then it all came back to me like a sudden wave. I felt cold, shaky.
"Mac?" I whispered hollowly, turning to face her. "Mac, are you okay?" She didn't say anything but tuck her head into the corner of my shoulder and neck, shaking her head. Immediately, I'm alert. "What's wrong?"
Mac tilts her tear-stained face towards me and said the two possibly worst words I could ever hear. "It's Jake."
"What?" I'm groggy, but her words cut me anyways. She couldn't be saying what I thought she was saying. Jake couldn't . . .
"It's Jake," she repeated numbly. "He's gone."
I could feel crashing resounding in my ears. "What?" I echoed.
"He's dead, Harm," Mac's voice broke. "Abbas got him."
Thick haze clouded my vision as I slumped back further into the bed. Dizziness and nausea swept me. "But he can't have . . ." I refuse to believe it. My eyes water in pain, both physical and emotional. I feel sick to my stomach. "Jake can't . . . he . . ."
And then I slipped into unconsciousness.
Same Time
The Hospital
Vera's POV
"The request is to save the mother."
I could hear the voices dully resounding in my ears, my head banging painfully. There was this sharp pain in my stomach, my eyes refused to open. Pictures played before my mind lick a non-stop ticker tape. I groaned.
"We can't do that without taking the baby out," another voice said, sounding hollow and metallic against the back of my mind. "And that in and of itself . . ."
"Could be complicated," the other voice finished.
"Mmh," I mumbled, not even really sure of the word I was trying to form. I was dizzy. My head felt like it had just been cleaved in two. "Ngh."
"She's slipping!" the man's voice was suddenly urgent. "Her heart rate's dropping."
The pain was searing, white and hot. I could feel myself begin to shake. "Em sawe jek," I mumbled deliriously, trembling on the table. I was shivering.
"Still slipping!" the cry echoed in my ear. The throbbing was insistent. "1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . ."
I was having a hard time distinguishing the voices. Everything seemed to melt together. I felt nothing when the doctor cut my stomach open. I saw nothing but the memories that began to flash before my eyes. I heard nothing but the voices from many past echoing in my ears. I was out of it.
A cry, shrill and piercing. My vision blurred as I opened my eyes to see the doctors rushing a small squealing figure away. I felt numb. I'm dying . . . I thought hazily, as my eyes closed again. This is what it feels like to be dead.
My thought was instantly followed by a sharp jab of pain in my side and I knew I was not quite there yet. My vision swam, this thick buzzing took over my hearing. Nervous sobs racked my body. No, please no . . . I silently begged as I slipped into unconsciousness.
Lord, let me live . . .
Later
The Hospital
Clay's POV
There was a dull aching in my head when I awoke, my eyes fluttering open as though for the first time. The light was blinding as white overtook every wall and ceiling and sheet. My mouth felt dry and my body ached insistently. But none of that mattered, I thought feebly. Not without Jake.
What kind of friend was I that I would steal the woman he loved from him and then in turn get him killed? What if I had pulled Jake out before Vera? Would he still be alive? Would they both live? IS Vera even alive?
Shrill crying reached my ears and I resisted the urge to roll over in the bed, knowing that would only cause me more physical pain. My head swam, the cry echoing within my ears. I opened my mouth only to find my voice worn and unwilling to be utilized. I tried to place the cry but I couldn't. It sounded like an infant's. Hunter?
"Shh," a woman's voice dampened the baby's cry. "Hush, little guy."
Mac, I knew it from the voice. I cracked open my eyes again. I felt like I was drowning. "Mac?" I mumbled.
From beside me Mac heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank god you've woken up, Clay," she breathed as I watched her pat the baby's back, one hand stroking its head. "The doctors didn't think . . . I mean . . . you came pretty badly off." She looked shaken. "You were covered in blood and when you fainted . . ."
"He's dead," I said, deaf to her last statement. My eyes whirled around the room wildly. "He's dead," I muttered rabidly.
"I know," Mac whispered hollowly.
I shook my head forcefully, willing my tears not to break from behind my eyes. "There wasn't anything I could do to stop it . . . he just . . . died." My voice is breaking and I do nothing to stop it. "He was like a candle, one moment just burning . . . no sign of end, and then there was this sudden flicker and . . ." I look lost, "the flame was gone."
"I'm so sorry, Clay," Mac's voice is sincere. "I'm really really sorry."
I closed my eyes, willing my breath to regulate. "It's all my fault, Mac. If I hadn't ever . . ."
"Don't play that game," she snapped. "It never does any good. None of us can bring him back, so just shut up."
For a minute, I'm blown by the sudden harshness in her voice but it ebbs away slowly as the baby begins to cry again. I stare at her. "That's not . . . Hunter?"
Mac shook her head slowly and leaned in slightly towards me, pushing the infant into my hands. I stared down at the baby with a sudden whirlwind of realization. A pair of cool grey eyes – identical to my own – stare up at me. A watery smile suddenly breaks upon my face. He's got only a little hair, but it's a dark colored auburn, Vera's shade, and wavy like hers too. He's so small I feel like he'll disappear if I don't hold onto him with all my might. I turn up to Mac, "Vera . . .?" I whispered.
And to my surprise I find tears rolling down her cheeks. At that moment it strikes me how long it's been since I've seen Mac cry. "I don't know, Clay, the doctors won't tell us anything . . ." I looked down at the baby in my hands . . . my son, and close my eyes in sudden emotional defeat. I can't take this any more.
"God, I'm sorry, Clay," Mac whispered against my skin as she neared me almost hesitantly. "I'm sorry you had to see him die . . . I'm sorry you had to kill Abbas."
My eyes suddenly flipped to hers. "Who says I killed him?"
Mac falters slightly. "Well . . . you wouldn't be here if you hadn't gotten him . . . I know you, Clay. You never rest until you've got the job done." Mac grimaces for a second before smiling. "It's one of your charms."
I lower my eyes to the baby I hold in my hands. "I didn't kill him, Mac." I look up. "I didn't kill Abbas."
Mac looks lost. "What?"
"I didn't kill him," I repeated numbly. "I . . . I had the chance, but . . . I didn't. I hit him instead. And the authorities came, and they took him away. He's in maximum prison right now, I think . . . I don't know. He was unconscious when I left him." I'm shaking. "I could have killed him . . . he was right there in front of me, I had my finger on the trigger, I had him . . ."
Mac stares at me. "How come you didn't shoot?" Mac whispered.
I shrug my shoulders defensively. "It's what he wanted . . . he failed his task. He was supposed to kill me, and Vera, and –" my voice catches in my throat – "and Jake . . . but he didn't. And he knew it when he saw me. And he knew there was no point 'cause I had him, and the authorities would be there any minute. He'd rather die than live ashamed, that's the way he is. He wanted to die . . . and I'd rather kill myself than give him anything he wanted."
"Clay . . ." Mac trailed but I pushed on.
"He'll be tried before the court, of course," I rattled on. "And I'll damn well make sure he's convicted. But we gotta squeeze all the info we can out of him. Then he can be executed for all I care."
I looked up to see Mac's brown eyes falling lightly on me. "What?" I whispered.
She smiled at me. "Damn you, Clay, going off and being heroic."
I sighed wearily. "It's just a curse."
Mac was quiet for a minute. "Did Abbas say who employed him?"
I feel my nerves tingling again. "No . . ." I look up at Mac, "But don't worry, I don't think you and Harm were the targets. I think it was me, Vera, and Jake the entire time . . . they just used Harm to get to us." I shook my head. "Don't worry, you're safe."
"I'm not worried about my safety," Mac pressed. "I'm worried about everyone's." Her eyes nail me. "Including yours."
"I'll be fine," I argued futilely.
"I don't think you will be," Mac shot back. "Not if . . ." and then she stopped.
"Not if Vera dies, right?" I finished for her, and then at her hesitance I flashed her a watery smile. "We'll be alright, Mac."
"You think so?" she whispered.
"I think so," Harm said from behind her. We both whirled around to see him standing there, his head still heavily bandaged with spots of blood soaking through, but the infamous Rabb grin's still shining. He puts one arm around Mac. "I don't think God's cruel enough to do any more damage."
I smile at Harm, our eyes connecting for a second. "Rabb's right."
Harm looks down at my son and raises an eyebrow. "Who's the kid?"
The breath catches in my throat. "My son," I whispered softly, stroking the back of his head. "He's my son."
"Excuse me?" a voice interrupts us. We all turn around to see the doctor. "Ms. Azhad is awake."
Relief washes over me like a wave. I feel like I'm about to cry even though I know, hard as I try, the tears haven't a prayer of breaking through my eyes. "And she's . . . okay?"
"She's stable," the doctor hesitantly confirmed. "Whether she will retain all her old abilities is for time to tell, but as far as we can see, there has been no damage."
"I need to see her," I said numbly, moving to rise from the bed. "I need to see her."
"You need to do no such thing," Mac snapped, pushing me back down in the bed. "Clay, you're in no condition to even stand."
I cast a pleading look at the doctor but he only confirms what Mac just said. "The Colonel's right, and Ms. Azhad too is in no condition to permit visitors. Nor should you have them," he cast a wary look at Harm and Mac. "In light of the circumstances – your son's birth – I permitted the Colonel through. However, you," he pointed at Harm, "should be in your bed and I think it's quite time that we all leave Mr. Webb to his recovery."
Mac nodded and lifted my son out of my hands, flashing me a shaky smile. "Just feel better, okay?"
And I nodded, though I had no words to say. My mind was traveling a mile a minute. Harm and Mac would be okay. I knew that now. Them and Hunter would be alright. We'd go back to the US and get Harm reinstated, they could get married, maybe have another kid or two. But Vera and me . . . Abbas wasn't the threat. Abbas was never THE threat. Abbas wouldn't have had to kill us if he hadn't been hired by someone who wanted me, Vera, and Jake to die. For them it would just be another day, and another assassin. We had to get them before anyone else.
I felt my head pounding with thought as I rested it on my pillow. Who was affected by Jake, Vera's, and my actions? Countless people, I realized with a grim smile. All the terrorists we'd caught, the people we killed, we were the Golden Trio, the three best people in the business.
The three best people in the business.
Oh no . . .
Same Time
Vera's Room
Vera's POV
"Hello, Vera," Kovac whispered, walking into my room and gesturing to the small bouquet of flowers he held in his hand. "I'm glad to hear you're feeling better."
"Sir," I said, trying to sit up a little in the hospital bed but Kovac just waved me down.
"None of that, you're sick," he said lightly.
I exhaled slowly, "Mind telling me what the head of CIA is doing in Italy?"
"Checking up on some things," Kovac smiled thinly. "But I imagine you have quite a story to tell."
I'm breathless on where to begin. "Catherine was working for Abbas," I stated bluntly. "I don't know how he got her, but she is. That's how she knew where we were. And they took me captive so that Clay and Jake wouldn't shoot him and then the opera house blew up and . . ." My thoughts are traveling a mild a minute. "Are they okay?"
"Who?" Kovac whispered softly.
"Them all," I said hollowly. "Clay, Jake, Harm and Mac, Shapiro and Teddy . . ." Kovac raised an eyebrow. "Oh yes," I said thoughtfully, "You wouldn't now Shapiro and the Kid. They worked for us, sort of. They were in on the op and . . ." I broke off, "Are they alive?"
Kovac's eyes took on sympathy and I knew before the moment he opened his mouth what he was about to say, and I was powerless to stop it. "I'm sorry, Vera, they didn't make it. Not any of them. You were the only survivor."
And with that statement, my world came crashing down. "But . . . but Clay, he pulled me and Jake out of the wreckage, he was alive . . ." Tears sting my cheeks. "And then he went back in for Jake . . . how could . . . I mean, what happened?"
"Jake died on the scene," Kovac plowed on mercilessly. "Webb went to avenge his death and Abbas killed him. Harm and Mac died on the scene as well. They were hit by falling timbers trying to get out of the way." I'm shaking now. "I'm sorry, Vera."
"My son!" I'm crying forcefully. "Where's my son?"
"Oh, Vera," Kovac said pityingly, "he died at birth, didn't the doctors tell you?"
"No!" I screamed, thrashing in my bed as sobs wracked my body.
"They tried their best to save him," Kovac whispered sympathetically. "But he was too small, he just couldn't make it . . ." Kovac flashed me a sympathizing smile. "He was beautiful though . . . just like you."
He reached out an arm to comfort me but I withdrew immediately. "Get away!" I hissed at him. "This is your fault this happened! If you'd just helped us right at the beginning Harm and Mac would still be alive, and Jake and Clay and my little boy . . ." I'm hysteric. "Get away."
"Vera . . ." Kovac trailed.
"And YOU were the one that hired Catherine!" I screamed. "You're the one who gave up on Abbas! If it wasn't for you none of this would have ever happened! If it wasn't for you . . ." And then suddenly my voice died away. I'm left staring at the man who is slowly becoming a monster before my eyes. I understand. "If it wasn't for you," I whispered hollowly. "You hired Abbas."
Kovac's eyes suddenly grew cold as he dug into his pocket. I didn't need to see the shiny black revolver that suddenly clung to his hand as he withdrew from the pocket, I'd already known what it was before. My eyes whirled wildly around the room, looking for something to use as a defense, anything. But I was weak, and had barely the strength to make it out of bed.
"Chuck, you can't do this . . ." My voice was pleading. "Please, Chuck, you can't . . ."
"I can do anything I damn well please," Kovac's voice is merciless. "Do you know how much pain you, Webb and Holter put me through? Yes, you caught terrorists, a clap on the back for you. And here I was, your director, and shunned form the limelight. Do you know what the Agency wanted me to do?" Kovac laughed manically. "They wanted to put Webb as the director – my job! They wanted to give him MY job. Webb wouldn't last a week. But you three were famous, and slowly diminishing the once trademark record I had . . ."
"So this is it?" I screamed. "You're wasting away your career for nothing? Because Clay advanced? That's why you needed to kill him?" Tears of anger streamed down my cheeks. "And what about Jake? What harm did he ever do to you? And Harm and Mac?"
"If it wasn't Webb it would be Holter," Kovac spat. "Or you. All three of you were good. It wouldn't do to just get one of you." He sighed airily. "As for Rabb and Mackenzie, I do feel rather sorry about them. But Rabb had strong connections with Webb, as did Mackenzie, that's true. But he was dating her at the time, and would have insisted on personally protecting her, which I couldn't have. It had to be you. And as soon as Rabb was in trouble, I knew he would call you. He trusted you." Kovac laughed sardonically. "It was no accident that Holter was in Venice at the same time as you. Who told him to vacation there?" Kovac grinned. "Me. And do you want to know the best part?" His dark eyes glinted maliciously. "Webb will take the fall for everything. He was the one that organized this mission, his name will be scum."
I'm shaking with rage. "You bastard."
Kovac shrugged his shoulders. "Think of me what you like, Azhad, it matters none to me. Either way, in a matter of minutes you will be dead."
"You son of a bitch."
Kovac rolled his eyes. "Sticks and stones can break my bones but names shall never hurt me." And then suddenly he turned rigid.
"What about guns?" an innocent voice asked, and as Kovac slowly turned, I could see Clay standing behind him, his own gun pressed against Kovac's forehead.
"Webb," Kovac whispered. "You don't understand."
Clay smiled nastily. "That's where you're wrong, Chuck, I understand it all." His finger tightened on the trigger. "It must have been very easy to manipulate Catherine into doing your bidding for you, or forming an alliance with Abbas in exchange for what I can guess was a free pass on his personal hunt. And the Manila story was all made up, of course. Just a cover to blame me. And then, if I did live through Abbas's assassination, I would go off and kill him – which would be the only link to you – and then you could finish me off. I understand all of that," Clay breathed, his grey eyes sinking into Kovac's dark ones. "I just don't understand where a good agent like you went so terribly wrong."
"Give yourself a few years," Kovac hissed. "Being a director isn't all that it's cracked up to be."
"No, it's more," Clay challenged. "You loved being director, you LOVE being director, which is why you couldn't stand me taking your place . . ." Clay's eyes hardened mercilessly. "I heard it all."
"Webb . . ."
"No," Clay bit back forcefully. "It's over. You've said your last words, now let me say the last you shall hear." All the anger from the months and years was piling as his finger tensed on the trigger. "You were right, Kovac, you were right when you knew I'd want Vera to protect Harm, and you were right when you assumed we'd overlook Catherine as the snitch. We played right into your hands." Clay's throat was tight. "But you were wrong when it came to me, Chuck. I suppose you guessed Abbas would be lying on a street somewhere right now with my bullet through his brain?" Clay cracked a grin. "No, nothing quite so elegant. Right now he's being quizzed by undoubtedly the FBI – or ironically, maybe even the CIA." Clay's voice was a low hiss. "It doesn't matter if I kill you now, Kovac. They're coming for you. They know what you've done because I didn't shoot Abbas, and he'll say anything to get a lighter sentence, even if it means ratting you out. Your life is over, whether it ends today or tomorrow or years from now when you sit rotting in your cell. You're done."
"You're lying!" Kovac spat, whirling around in the room and waving the gun madly. "You would have killed Abbas! know you."
"You have no clue who I am," Clay replied coldly.
"Damn you, you'll suffer for this," Kovac hissed. "You'll rot in hell." He was panicked as police car lights suddenly lit the street below us and flashing across the walls. His eyes were crazed as he extended his arm, his revolver heavy in his hand. "Good-bye, Webb."
And with that, a single shot rang throughout the room.
Same Time
Same Place
Clay's POV
"He shot himself," Vera echoed numbly, as Kovac's body laid sprawled on the ground beside her bed, blood pooling from the open bullet hole. "After all that, the bastard committed suicide."
I sighed as I stared at Kovac lying motionless on the floor. "I guess he and Abbas had more in common than I thought. They both would rather die than have their reputations diminish."
I turned back to Vera to find her staring at me for a good long minute, suddenly wrapping her arms around me. "Oh god, Clay, I thought you were dead . . ."
"I'm alright," I whispered into her hair, "And Harm and Mac . . . and . . . and wait, I have someone to show you." I untangled myself from her arms, fleeing out the door before returning in a swift second carrying our son. I pushed him into Vera's arms, kissing her forehead as I did so. "He's alright too, never mind what Kovac said."
Vera was both laughing and crying at the same time as she cradled our boy, her body shaking. And then suddenly her eyes turned back up to me, the dark orbs hanging almost tentatively. "And Jake . . .?" she whispered.
I could feel myself breaking inside as I turned to her, my breath caught in my throat. I slowly shook my head, suddenly finding I could no longer speak. Vera broke down in front of me, sobbing uncontrollably as she cradled our son to her chest, suddenly smothering him in kisses. All I could do was stand there numbly, lost as Vera dissolved into tears.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered hollowly as I closed my eyes tight to keep control of my emotions. "I tried, Vera, I really tried but . . ." I broke off.
"I know," she whispered brokenly. "I know . . ." And then she turned back to our son, carefully sheltered in her arms, her lips forming a watery broken-hearted smile. "I love you, Jacob Webb . . ."
The next day
Venetian Hillside
Clay's POV
Wind whipped coldly by my shoulders as I hunched my back a little, sheltering my body from the assault of the weather as my eyes surveyed the scenery before me. The afternoon sun sunk low against the shadowed form of the hills as I clutched Vera to me, my arm wrapping around her slender shoulders as I held on, courage I never knew existed erupting within me. She held Jake in her hands, her arms securely sheltering our son as she shook very lightly within my embrace.
I stared upon the tombstone rigidly, my mind frozen. I could see Jake's eyes clearer than ever before, the fire and intensity of them when he was determined, the humor and happiness when he laughed. I saw him as he dove for Vera, his body sheltering her from the harm of the world. Something I couldn't do . . . something perhaps I would never be able to do. But above all else I saw his heart, the undeniable selflessness that soared within him, and the love that would conquer all.
Jacob William Holter
1968 – 2005
"Dreams can come true with God's great angels like you."
Mac's POV
I rubbed my eyes furiously as I leaned a little against Harm, my head resting for a moment on his shoulder as we all watched the sun sink lower behind the trees, its warm light soaking the hilltop, and drowning us in internal light. I kneeled in front of his grave, biting my lower lip in a futile attempt to keep myself from crying.
"Remember what you said to me that day?" I whispered hollowly, his name etched so permanently into the stone I felt myself shiver. "When we were . . . talking that day, and," I heaved a heavy side as I looked down at the ground for a second. I can do this. "I don't know if I've ever heard more truth in those words."
I shivered a little against the autumn wind as his voice floated back to me, echoing inside my ears as I pause for a moment of recollection, as bittersweet as it is.
"Every path you head down, there's another twist waiting for you. Something unexpected, something that'll grab hold of you and shake. But I guess that's the experience. The ability to hang on and not let go because you'll always believe in the fact that there's something better out there for you. A beam of light in a shadowed path."
I hung my head down, as my fingers trailed lightly over the tombstone, biting my lower lip hard. "You changed me, Jake. I don't know how, I don't know when, but you've made me better than I was before . . . and I'll never forget you."
Harm's POV
I watched as Mac retreated slowly, her eyes never leaving the grave for a minute. I brushed my hand warmly against her arm, but she took little comfort from my touch. I walked slowly forward, my blue eyes flashing with emotion. I kneeled down, just like Mac had, my voice sounding broken.
"Hey, Jake," I whispered. "I'm . . . I'm really sorry about all of this. It was never meant to turn out this way. I don't know how it happened, or why it happened, but you saved us all. You've got to know that. None of us would be here if it weren't for you."
It hurt to speak the truth sometimes. Jake had been there for everything, it almost seemed like he'd been there my entire life. It was hard to imagine a moment without him, even though I knew I'd only known him for the last year and a half. " You'll always be with us, Jake, wherever you go . . ."
Vera's POV
I was shaking too much to kneel, so instead I just stood, somewhat awkwardly with my son in my hands as I watched the sky – its shade of familiar orangey glow – sinking behind the green hillside. I could feel warm wind whip by me as I shuddered slightly, more from the feeling of Jake's presence than anything.
"God, Jake," I whispered slowly, my eyes wandering the scenery, "It's hard to believe it was just two days ago you and me were standing here, and you were telling me you'd always be there." I closed my eyes, willing myself to go on.
"You showed me this place, this beautiful magical world of yours, and I won't ever forget it. I can't ever forget it. You're such a big part of me . . ." I broke. "You'll live on forever with us. Even as the years go by, you won't die. And I just want to tell you that –" my voice cracked – "I really really love you."
Clay's POV
I watched from atop the hillside as Harm, Mac, and Vera headed towards the hotel, the sun setting rapidly in the sky. I shivered a little in my windbreaker as my eyes settled on his tombstone, and blinking suddenly as the implication of this moment suddenly struck me.
My eyes shifted slowly up to the sky – up to heaven where I knew he would be – unsure of where to look. "I . . . I honestly don't know where to begin," I said uneasily, my hands tugging at my pockets. A warm wave of wind swept past me as I stood there on Jake's hillside, his tombstone planted in the heart of where the earth met sky and I knew at that moment, he was listening. No one needed to tell me. I just knew.
"Andare a lei, Jake," I whispered as I took one last look at his grave, my Italian flowing so easily I knew that he would have been proud. I shook as I walked down from the hill – Jake's hill. It would always be Jake's hill. Nothing would ever change that. And as I climbed back onto the dusty dirt road that Jake had trodden upon just two days before, I found my own words resounded in my ears. Andare a lei.
Go to her.
The End
A/N: Oh wow, it's done . . . I can't believe it's done. I'm not even sure what to say. I'm in shock, actual numbing shock. Well, actually, I lied, I do have one thing to say – I am writing a sequel for all those interested. I can't tell you when it will be up because over the last few weeks I have – very guiltily – been ignoring To London With Love, but I will be writing it.
And, to all those who reviewed: thank you so much! You have no idea how good it felt to read the things you had to say. I even love all you flamers! You guys are just brilliant. Honestly, you guys have no idea how wonderful you are . . .
Fran Thurston: aww, you're so sweet. It was incredibly hard to kill Jake, though I knew right from the beginning I would have to. It's my main dynamic for the sequel (I just couldn't let go). But above it all was the fact that Jake would never be alone, because of Jane and Vera, and everyone else. Jake never had to be with anyone to be someone important in their life. I guess that's why he had such a heroic role. He took everything that life threw at him.
Sgcgirl52: oh, lol, did you cry? I cried when I wrote his dying scene, and then I was so upset I couldn't finish the chapter that night and instead had to do it in the morning.
disneygirl1962: thanks, and I hope you liked it.
Jamie L: lol, okay – so I killed Kovac, but he was just begging for it . . . and I don't think you minded! And Jake's been dead for the last week but I still can't believe it . . . I guess I was just so used to writing him in chapters it was weird not to in this one.
ForensicsFreak1988: ah, you can not threaten me like that! I shall in that case take FOREVER in posting my sequel (note to everyone: in that case, feel free to email forensicsfreak1988 in demand that she post her chapter so I can then post the sequel) LOL
Syraë: yes, I really had to kill him. As much as I hated doing it, it was necessary for the sequel. I'm glad you liked last chapter, and I hope you liked this ending.
Abigaile: nah, Abbas isn't dead that. Leaving that for the sequel. Lol, gotta write in with SOME material.
Freezepops: no, you're right, Admiral Chegwidden does have a connection with Vera. But that was my foreshadowing at the beginning for it delves into the sequel. My my, you do have an excellent memory, don't you? I didn't think anyone would remember that since I'd written it so long ago. See, the sequel deals a lot with Vera's past and . . . actually, I can't say much more for fear of giving it away. LOL
BrittanyLS: thanks! Hope I didn't disappoint.
Brontesgirl: yeah, I'm not really a heaven believer either, but it just seemed appropriate for Jake's end. Because that's all he really wanted when it came down to it. To see Jane again. So I guess it just seemed like some sort of grand parting, I guess.
Odakota: ah, me and you both! I can't believe I just finished it . . . I can't believe anything at the moment. It's two in the morning and I just finished my story. What's the date? September 25th . . . omg, I can't believe. It's over! It's actually over! Why don't I feel happy?
Mackenise Jackson: ah, you're too smart. I can't believe you guess Kovac. No one guesses my plots correctly. LOL, and as much as I wanted Harm/Mac and Vera/Clay to have kids of different gender, it just seemed right to make Vera and Clay have a boy and name him after Jake as a way of honoring him.
Toplesslemon: lol, yes, it's been a while since I've been graced with your name in my inbox (and still loving the name – god, I wish I had picked something interesting like that). Ah, I'm done! Omg, I feel lost . . . what am I supposed to do now?
Reni-Maniac: yes, lol, this is actually the last chapter. I know I prolonged it, but that really couldn't be helped. I mean, I couldn't very well have fitted this all into the last chapter, it would have been fifteen pages or some insane number. Oh lord, it's over . . . I'm completely numb . . . it's over . . .
Southernqt: I know how you feel. It felt so weird not to write Jake into this chapter, though I suppose I made up for it with all the times I mentioned him. But still, it felt totally strange. I guess I've just grown so used to writing him in. It feels all . . . wrong. And you're right, it did have to be him or Webb, but you understand why it was him, right? I mean, I love Jake, I love him more than I ever will Webb partly because he's so much nicer, and mostly because I made him. But still, he was the one to go . . . he had to be. It couldn't be helped, especially if I was to write a sequel.
Froggy0319: ah, I cried when Jake died too . . . which probably sounds strange to you, because I killed him and everything, and now that FT's done, I can work on TLWL more. I've been neglecting it and I feel terrible.
Knight of Caeli: thanks, I love hearing the people like my original characters, most because they belong to me, not like Harm and Mac do. I love Harm and Mac to death, but it's not the same when you don't create them. I guess it's because I know so much about the ones that I created, stuff that other people don't . . . maybe that's it. I don't know, it's two in the morning and I'm confusing myself to no end.
FoxyWombat: yay! You updated LTG! And it was brilliant, as always, and looking forward to more! And I while be honored to take on the crown as Princess of Cliffhangers, though I don't think I wear it nearly as well as you do.
TV Angel 711: ah, you guessed it. They named their son Jake. You're right, it was sort of an appropriate way of honoring him. Still can't believe the story's over . . . but I guess that only paves the way for the sequel . . .
JamieAKAaclassyone: lol, how's that for a twist up the sleeve? Yes, actually, for a while I was thinking of using Sadik and then I was like, "but someone will predict that . . ." but anyways, someone also predicted that it was the head of CIA so I guess I failed either way, but you're incredibly smart for figuring out Catherine was the snitch, due to the fact that I portrayed her as such an idiot in this story. And if Webb had killed Abbas, what material would I be left with for a sequel? Lol, I can't say anything more than that or I'll give the plot away . . .
Radiorox: lol, yeah, I'll reincarnate him and then you'll definitely be the first person I ship him to.
Starryeyes10: thanks
CJKS: lol, yeah, I liked Jake better than Webb too . . . but then again, Jake was mine, so it's not really fair to say that. Omg, it's over! It's actually over! I can't believe it . . . I've got to go take a nap (two in the morning)
jaggurl: thanks, and I hope you liked this chapter!
Lani: I know! Poor Jake . . . I was so sad when he died. I was writing this chapter when I was talking to you last night . . . and I was like, "I wonder how Lani will take this . . ." so let me know your thoughts!
Major Jagfan: lol, that is so something DPB would do too! Hanging this little piece of shipperiness in front of us and then rudely snatching it away! Ah, DPB, never take after me! LOL, my little sister's madly in love with that song 'Bad Day'. She knows all the lyrics. I'm sure it wouldn't be difficult to incorporate it into TLWL some how . . .
Alix33: aw, but if I injected Abbas with lethal whatever what would I do for the sequel? Lol, I'm Dumbledore's girl through and through!
Vhosek malcath: lol, I would have posted this chapter a lot sooner except for the fact that I was at that stupid Partnership Retreat thingy. Ah, I felt terrible about leaving you all hanging . . . actually, never mind, I was sort of enjoying it, but anywho . . . what did you think of the ending?
Pissed Off Poet 1: yup, you're right, leaving it all to the sequel – including all the HM shipperiness. The sequel takes off from three years later so you'll see how all their lives have changed over that amount of time and everything so . . . yeah, again, shipper stuff, and – as you said – Abbas never died . . .
MiDushiNoSushi: well, I ended the torture . . . for now. Till my sequel, that is. Which I know won't be as grabbing as FT is, but hopefully it'll come close. And . . . omg, I wish I could tell you but I can't, seeing as you're a reader and everything, but you just look at everything so in depth that I wish I could tell you, but . . . we get a very good look at Jake's life through a different set of eyes, and that's all I say for fear of giving it away.