I'm back! And ready to post the next chapter. For those who are wondering – the surgery went well and I have returned to torture Tolkien's soul a little further.
This chapter is not a great one in itself. But it is essential for the continuance and the flow of the story. After all, we can't be having angst and romance only now, can we?
The train ran over hills and galloped along rivers. The sky was a ridiculous blue, full with impressive, majestic clouds that swam like lazy fish in a lake.
"This country," she scribbled in the shaking compartment in her journal, "smells of such ancient mysteries, that my heart grieves not to be able to see it all. Emperors have walked this soil in a time when all other civilizations had nothing but the most primitive of tools to offer. Astronomers watched the heavens while the rest of mankind only cared about the food in front of their noses."
China! So vast, so diverse, so different from anything she had been expecting. The modern life of New York faded away and became like a story from another planet, or another time. It wasn't real. Not real like China was. It was fake and silly now, the impressive buildings reminding her of matchstick structures. It was as new as a newborn baby compared to the massive history that this land held.
She tried to imagine herself having lived here. Maybe she did have a past life somewhere here in a village. Wouldn't that be ironic? To come back all these years later, not knowing why, but being pulled by her own past footsteps?
The train rattled on and Irulan gazed into her journal. Not for the firs time -and God knows, not the last, either- Legolas wandered into her thoughts. She looked at the deserted compartment with something like dread. Perhaps it was the fact that they had parted so bad, or maybe just the fact that the bond seemed to be diminished between them, a sudden sorrow descended onto her. It was sharp and painful. "I will never see Legolas again," she thought, and though she had thought the very same thing many many times before, this time it felt infinitely worse, because this time she BELIEVED it. This time she knew that Legolas would not turn up around the next corner or show up at the next store. It was over.
The human heart is a foolish, strange thing. It can beat for many years with one single fervent passion, only to discover that gaining it meant the end of the strive and desire and therefore, the end of all that was worth living. Such a mindset is alien to this century. If Irulan had lived in the Middle East hundreds of years ago, as poets sang in the streets of Baghdad or courtiers awaited a glimpse of their beloved for many days in the streets of India, she would have understood what it meant to yearn and to achieve. She would have grown up with stories like Leila and Mecnun, in which Mecnun loved Leila with all his heart and soul and ached with the single desire to set eyes on her. It would make sense that after years of effort and struggle, when Mecnun finally achieved his goal -Leila's hand- that he turned her down and walked into the desert never to be seen again. What was it that he had said? That he loved Love itself, and that Leila had only been a means in this passion of his. That he had disovered a higher love and would pursue it to his final days. That it wasn't Leila whom he had been yearning for, but the essence, the idea, the oh-so-precious pain and delight of Love itself.
She would have understood then. Now, she didn't. To her modern New York mind, Mecnun was a fool and Leila even a bigger one. It made no sense to change your mind about something when you have wasted an entire lifetime to gain it.
Just like it didn't make sense to yearn for Legolas when everything she had done so far was done to push him away.
And just because it didn't make sense, didn't mean that it didn't happen.
She sighed and realized that her eyes had become wet. In the loud solitude of her compartment, in a land foreign and alien to her, his absence was sharp and unforgiving. Suddenly she had an image of herself, living through each and every adventure all alone, just like now, without friends and without lovers, and the idea didn't have the appeal that it had, before.
There had been long breaks before – "intervals" during which Legolas had disappeared from sight. No wonder. He was an important man. 'Contrary to me,' she thought, grimly.
The world was his playground. His home. He had crossed it to and fro countless times. He had been to every country and more than a dozen times to most in different times. He had seen cities built from dust and sand, returned to them when they thrived like blooming wild flowers, and finally had watched them fade into the dust they had come from. He had sat with incredible people in the same room and had looked movers and shakers in the eyes. Through it all, he had acquired names and different looks as the times required and the people outside the Circle who had known his true nature and identity were only a handful.
His world –his true home that was Middle Earth- was dead now. Not a merciful, swift death it was, but a slow and torturous one. Legolas had watched it go with no one left to say goodbye to.
Immortality. The eternal desire of mortals. Of men and women who had no idea how long the years could be when one was an alien to every living creature around him. When life was a long string of acquired fake names and a big lie. When the truth has become fable and myth and merely a material for fantasy.
Irulan sighed and gazed into the impossibly green hues of the nearby woods. To understand Legolas was beyond her. But to symphatize with his chronic loneliness was.
It was at that moment that Irulan decided to forgive Legolas. Not in the manner she had forgiven him before. Not by telling herself that he had no fault and that it was the circumstances and this and that. Not by finding logical explanations, which her heart had refused to digest. Not that fake sort of forgiveness that starts and ends on the tongue. She forgave him with her heart and ultimately. And it was easy.
Maybe it had just to be done at a certain time and a definite mindframe. maybe it was because she was pulled into such melancholy. Or maybe the feeling of guilt fed on her psyche until this day it became too heavy a burden to carry. Whatever the reason, forgiveness -utter, complete and absolute forgiveness- came easy. Surprised, she stilled and tried to sort out her sentiments. Nothing. She felt light and happy. "Legolas," she thought, then decided to say it out loud to make it stronger, "Legolas, I forgive you. It is over." In her mind, she threw down the sword and it landed in front of his black suede boots, on the withered grass and a soft clank echoed in the valley. "I will not fight you any longer."
Legolas looked up at her, a bit surprised, mildly suspicious and very confused. He gazed down at the weapon once more, then back up at her. Irulan smiled a rueful smile at his wariness. She took a deep breath and shifted to stand straighter, gazing around her. The valley was drowned in knee-high grass and sharp blue hills overlooked it on both sides. Narrow and deep, it cut through the womb of the earth like a scar. The sun bled on them as if trying to make up for the effect of blood. The wind blew and their hair sailed to the right. A hesitated another moment, then threw his own slim and curved blade on top of the other. "And I, you," he said softly.
She looked at him for a long moment. His right shoulder had a nasty cut and bled crimson into his dark tunic. Another would stood on his left thigh and she knew by the way he was standing that that one was hurting, though his face said nothing in regard to it. She knew that she would have won if the battle had continued, that Legolas was wounded too badly to continue and that his army meant nothing without him. All the better reason to stop. "I give up," she said softly, with a bitter note.
"As do I," he replied.
A moment passed. "So who wins?" Irulan said finally, just to break the heavy silence, drowned by the hiss of the grass under the assault of the breeze.
Legolas, his face still infused in disbelief, gave a small smile in return. "Nobody wins a battle," he said finally. "But...since we both stopped, we can't have lost it, either."
"I forgive you," she said again, looking him straight in the eye. Legolas said nothing and merely gazed at her with something like disbelief and relief at the same time. "If for nothing else, I want to thank you for the short time we wandered on this world together, hand in hand, Legolas," she sighed then and looked into the bloody horizon once more. "Life is so short."
"Or so long," he whispered, almost as if in pain.
"On this trip to the unknown, you passed by me, and you shared my days. When all else fails and the universe collapses into nothing, this alone should remain. You were by my side and I by yours. Everything else is foolish, silly and human. Only this is worthy of remembrance."
He held out his hand and more by instinct than thought, Irulan lay hers into his. Legolas grasped it gently and pulled it up, laying it on his heart. Her heavy metal glove touched the dark suede tunic, spotted with dirt and blood, and felt an imaginary thumping of his heart. The armies stood, frozen into a lifeless picture of violence. They were neither breathing, nor moving and seemed to be more two-dimensional and picturesque than something real with substance. She glanced around at the soldiers, stoned in a dance of horror. The furios look on their frozen faces was reminiscent of horrible tribal masks. She took a ragged breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they were all gone and herself and Legolas stood alone in the valley. They were not needed any longer, so they vanished as if they had never existed.
She glanced up at the elf again and found a weary smile on his lips. Another breeze came up and again their hair danced - silver and black. "Was there ever a fight?" she whispered almost with amusement. The valley looked as serene as if no foot had touched it for many millennia.
"I can not recall," was his equally soft reply, accompanied with a smile. His fingers closed on hers and she thought she could sense their warmth underneath the metal glove. She closed her eyes again, but he spoke up with a tinge of urgency. "Do not send me away." Irulan sighed and glanced at him once more. He looked so beautiful, so pure. It must have been a feature of his kind, for no one could look this beautiful after so much pain and effort. "Let me stay," he whispered, locking his eyes with hers.
"After all the battle and the pain?"
Legolas looked around at the untouched valley. "What battle?" he sighed finally. And once again eye to eye "What pain?"
Irulan smiled and inhaled the sharp, fresh scent of the grass. She shook her head with disbelief. "Do you EVER give up, Legolas?"
"I believe I just did," he said softly and already his voice said how he was shedding his surprise.
She gazed down at her boots, not certain where to go from here. His fingers slid through her hair then and he caressed her cheek. "I don't want to be your enemy any longer," she said. Her voice shook in the gentle breeze and seemed almost inaudible.
"You never were, Irulan."
"I mean," she sighed and bit her lip to prevent further sentimentalism. Her heart ached with strange emotions. Victory and relief, along with a deep, wretched sorrow. "I mean," she tried again, finally finding the heart to look him in the eye, "I want to...I don't know. I don't know what I want! Why can't we be friends?"
Legolas smiled a rueful mile, still caressing her cheek. "Because I am weak," he said finally. "It would be foolish to say that I will settle for friendship when my heart burns for you as it does. It would be a lie." Irulan nodded and felt herself even closer to tears than before. "When you conquered my castle," he said then quickly, "did you think it was my defeat?" He gave her a long look. "Did you think I felt grief, anger or sorrow?"
"I don't know," she mumbled, frowning. It was strange that she had never thought of this. "What DID you feel?"
He smiled again and the sun seemed no brighter than this smile. "Peace," he said simply. "Salvation. Relief." Irulan cocked her head and gave him a disbelieving look. As if to confirm his words, he nodded. "Yes. And I would have you conquer it again, if you are willing."
She blinked with surprise. "But...why?"
He shrugged, cupping her cheek. "It is the only way for both of us to win." She had no words to say so he continued, inching closer. "Be the victor then, Irulan," he said slowly. "And my savior once more."
It seemed ridiculous. It seemed overly dramatic. Something that only Legolas could say and not look absurd or silly for it. She smiled to herself and opened her eyes. The blue on green scenery continued its waltz by the train. "I forgive you," she mumbled into the crisp, clear day. "It wasn't your fault. None of it was." She sighed again and bit her lip. "Who am I to expect perfection from another? I made countless mistakes and I blame Legolas for things that were not in his hands." Why would it be so wrong to give up this meaningless battle anyway? He was an incredible man who wanted nothing but to be with her. Was it pride? Stubbornness? Sheer shame?
She took a deep breath and sat up, gazing with more determination towards the trees. "I forgive him," she said, a bit louder. Pride or shame, whatever it was, shook with a tinge of protest and she repeated the words to echo her determinism. "I DO forgive him. And what's more, once I get back to New York, I will call him and apologize."
'You seem to have forgotten what that accomplished the last time you tried,' came the smirking reply.
"Can't say I didn't deserve it," she sounded, her voice hard. "I'll call anyway. And if he slams it into my face once more, well…I'll keep calling until he grows tired and accepts my apology."
A low chuckle rose in her mind. "Hard to imagine. But let us assume he DOES accept. Then what?"
This was the tricky part. Irulan took a deep breath, closed her eyes and tried to imagine herself and Legolas as friends. The doorbell rings and Irulan gets up to get it. Oh what a surprise! It's him. He looks absolutely breathtaking in his black woolen sweater and his dark cotton pants. His clear blue eyes twinkle in his pale face. She smiles with pleasure and invites him in. Wait…would she embrace him? Too intimate. Would she shake hands? Too formal. Anyway…he comes in and picks the armchair across her. He asks about business and Anne and she asks about how the world fares these days. No…that seemed so silly. So unnatural. And then his cellphone rings and Amanda is asking what time he will return home.
"Damn!" She barely kept herself from jumping to her feet and opened her eyes in haste. "Damn!" Her inner voice chuckled with delight. This, indeed, was not something Irulan could live with. It was worse than being without Legolas. A dozen times worse. Irulan didn't believe in the sort of "civilization" where she would sit with Amanda and have tea and talk about Legolas. No…she'd rather be primitive and base then be that sort of "civilized".
"I don't know how I will do it," she said finally, taking a shaky breath. "But I WILL apologize and I WILL try to mend what I broke. Even if it means goodbye forever after that – which, probably it will. I will not be a woman who has ruined someone's heart and has turned away to live her own little, selfish life."
The determination she found in her heart was soothing to say the least. Yes, against the fact that she was stupid, stubborn and vain, Irulan was no coward. No doubt, Legolas would make her regret her decision. He would banter her with such words, that it would take fierce strength not to withdraw with hurt and despair. But she would simply have to face his onslaught. Because after having taken her insults for many months, it was only fair.
She took another deep breath and felt the weight of remorse leaving her. A few more days only. A week or two at most. Then she would return to New York and would call him as soon as she got her hand on her cellphone at home. She gazed out the window and thought as an addition "IF I ever get home."
"So what's up with Amanda?" Anne said to Legolas as they stepped out of the car.
Haldir blinked in surprise, turned to Russel, who shared a startled look with him. The same expression of disbelief was on Legolas' face. Consequently, both Haldir and Russel shared the simultaneous thought of disappearing from the grounds and turned away, smoothly walking away. Anne remained, staring up at the blue gaze of the elf. "Pardon me?" was all he managed to say in the end. Thankfully it didn't sound as baffled as he felt at the moment.
"Do you love her?" she countered, doing her thing – crossing her arms on her chest and raising an eyebrow.
He was tempted to utter a higher pitch of "pardon me?", but clenched his jaws to prevent it. Instead he turned –though a rude move towards a woman- and began to walk in the direction the other two men disappeared to.
"Aha! You don't answer!" she exclaimed, catching up with him.
"Because it does not concern you," he seethed, keeping his eyes ahead.
"Of course it does!" She received a dangerous glare for that. "I mean...I am your friend, Legolas. No?" she added with haste.
"So you say," was the groan of a reply that stank of suspicion.
Legolas was in an awfully foul mood after the Circle had called to confirm the death of an Ellen Beatrix Smilees who was physically too similar to Irulan for her own good and happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and the death of John Cosgrove, who was stabbed twice in the middle of a crowded bar. Though perhaps rather innocent alone, taken together these incidences were more than plain a sign for the fact that something terrible was going on and it had to do with Irulan. The Prince had seemed shut off and distant after that, speaking only a few dry words and avoiding the rest of the band persistently. She was tired of his worry and his anxiety and more than eager to face the heat of his fury, if this was the price to be paid to lure the beast out of his cave.
"She doesn't love you, you know," was Anne's dry statement.
"Let me guess – but Irulan does." It came out more bitter than he intended it to.
"Yes she does."
"And that must be why she has rejected me, ridiculed me, hurt me, refused me, toyed with me."
"I agree that she can be difficult at times," Anne said, panting from the effort of keeping up with the wide strides of the elf. She saw the smirk that bloomed on his face at her undersatement, so she hastily continued. "But I told you you shouldn't listen to her! You should have grabbed her, kissed her and carried her away!"
"Enough, Anne!" he groaned in frustration.
"You don't love Amanda," she tried, softer.
"Maybe I do," he said coolly. "You can not know what's in my heart."
"I know you are better than that," scoffed Anne.
"Maybe I'm not," was the tired and impatient reply.
"Legolas...I saw you." He turned to give her a blank look. "I saw you when you returned from Vienna with Irulan. And I see you now. I have eyes, you know."
"Apparently," was his groan of a reply as he widened his steps.
"You were happy then. Really happy. And so was she!"
"I can tell you one thing about the past," he seethed suddenly, stopping in his tracks so aprubtly that Anne involuntarily took another two steps before she could stop and turn to face him. "It is gone FOREVER!" he hissed, his eyes blazing. "Gone! Dead!" They stared at each other for another moment. "It never comes back," he added with a whisper.
"Good!" shouted Anne, surprising him yet again. Another moment of staring with disbelief and confusion. "That leaves more room for the future!" The elf took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, looking away. "Legolas-..." she began more tentatively.
"We have no future," he said briskly.
"Then why are you here?!" she exclaimed, throwing up her hands. "Why are you in this godforsaken...." her eyes wandered around, trying to find a word, "this....this...farm!? Huh? Why?!" Upon uttering the word, she halted, blinked, and took another glance around, lowering her arms with bafflement. "Why ARE we on a farm?"
"I care for Irulan. That much is obvious," he countered, taking a step towards her. "But I am not without pride. Or without intellect! I will not throw myself to the ground anymore."
"Fine Throw HER then!"
Legolas gave Anne an unreadable look. If she could read elvish expressions, she would see bafflement. As it was, she read nothing. "There is no need for that. Such things should grow natural. I don't believe in forced love."
"Not forced," moaned Anne, waving away the word with distaste. "GUIDED," would be a better word." Legolas' eyebrow rose in a peculiar arch. "And anyway," she said with haste, "why are we on a farm, again?"
"Love needs no guidance," he said dryly and walked around her, continuing his stride. "We need a means of transportation. Or do you intend to cross China on foot?"
"Love DOES need guidance!" Anne said, running to catch up again. "It can go astray – like everything else. And what better guide than you, Legolas? You have guided humanity for years."
"Don't be ridiculous," he managed to reply a moment later, "That is different."
"How so?" Anne smirked.
"It is my job!" Legolas countered, a slight temper in his voice. "It is what I do. My purpose. My reason fo being here in the first place!" Anne kept her eyes on him as they walked on, towards the awaiting couple of Russel and Haldir. "There are no feelings involved. No personal fears or desires. It is a responsibility I took and do it because I am good at it."
"Bullshit!" This time Legolas DID stop. And for the first time, Anne bit her tongue, thinking herself plain stupid. This was a creature that deserved nothing other than utter respect. He was a god compared to her – with years of experience in war, intrigue, ruling, and whatelsenot. "Sorry, Legolas," she whispered, paling a little at his expression. Haldir and Russel, who were close enough to hear the conversation held their breath.
"That's the second time you offend me," Legolas growled, taking a step towards her and looming over her. Anne gulped. "You tread on dangerous ground. My patience has limits."
"I apologize," she breathed. "Really. I...forgive me. That was very rude." Legolas didn't move a muscle, looking down at her with a frosty expression. "I was trying to say...you didn't do it because of any of those reasons." He kept looking. "You did it for a friend."
After he overcame the shock of her words and the meaning sank in, his eyes instantly turned to Haldir. The elf only ever so slightly shook his head, looking as baffled as he did. "Nobody told me," Anne sighed in frustration. "But I read the books, you know. Those...and the ones in the archives. And I came to know you, Legolas. You are not a fan of Man, so to say." She took a deep breath, glanced around, squinting her eyes in the bright summer sun. "And yet...you stay. You fight. You struggle."
Nobody spoke. A strange embarassment overcame Legolas. As if he had been exposed. As if his skin had been torn off and he was left under the blaring sun of China. 'Humans!' he thought, unable to think of anything else for a moment. So incredibly unpredictable – even to him; the master of prediction. So deliciously fragile and yet...sensationally strong. He had no answer, so he chose silence.
Anne looked at him for a long moment. "This is the man you are, Legolas," she said softer, her tone far more gentle. "I am not stupid – I know that you are an excellent warrior, a suberp tactician, an amazing leader. But you are a friend FIRST." To his surprise, she took a step towards him and reached up to place her hand on his shoulder. For no apparent reason, he remembered the day Irulan had "undressed" him like this in Rome when she had dazzled him with her observation and strength of thought. Many times before he had observed reasons why Irulan and Anne were such good friends. But the more time he spent with either of them, the more reasons he seemed to find. "I am a friend like that as well. Or try to be," she added with a frustrated sigh. Still neither Haldir nor Russel spoke, remaining fixed on the duo. "But more than that...you, too, have a friend in me," she said, gazing into his blue orbs.
A long moment passed. None of them spoke. None of them moved. Legolas felt torn between hurting Anne really badly, turning on his heels and walking away, and embracing her. The peculiar embarassment that had overcome him a moment ago cindered and lingered on. 'How on earth do you deal with women?' he thought deftly. Once again, he had no answer to that. In the end, he did neither of his primary motives and only said "Thank you." True enough, he tried to free his tone of emotions. Nevertheless it had a husky and sensitive edge to it.
Anne sighed in relief and nodded gently. She had been really intimidated when Legolas had blazed his eyes at her like that. Rightfully, too! 'I have to be more careful' she thought to herself. All this intrigue, scheming, planning was getting too complicated. Even for her.
"No problem," she said and smiled once more. "Now...." her eyes darted around, taking in the baffled state of Haldir and Russel, staring down at her along with the Prince, "...what has transportation to do with a farm?"
It was his turn to smile with confidence, almost feral. "I thought you would have figured that out by now," was all he said, his tone low.
"N-not really," stammered Anne, suddenly very unsure. To her irritation, both Haldir and Russel picked up the grin as well. "Come now," she said then, chuckling nervously. "Whatever happened to cars, trains and buses? Hell...even bicycles?!"
"Not where we are going," mused Legolas and walked around her, continuing his stroll towards the gate of the barn where someone was waiting for their approach.
"How do you know?" Anne said, slightly bewildered now, joining the march.
"I can guess where Baeron would choose to live," he said dismissively.
"Horses are fast on any terrain and easy to maintain," Haldir explained gently. "You can go at your own pace and don't have to obey no schedule."
"They are also very uncomfortable," moaned Anne. "I should know. My parents made me take riding lessons when I was young."
"It is the best option," Legolas said, then took the last steps to bow to the Chinese man waiting for him. The other did the same, and a handshake between them followed. After a short Chinese conversation they were led inside.
"I am not much of a rider," Russel groaned in disdain.
Legolas' lips curved up deftly to that, though he kept his eyes ahead. "Too bad," was all he said. And the tone was far from sad.
They entered the stable that was full with incredibly beautiful horses. They seemed a little different from the ones Anne had seen. A little shorter and more muscular, but also oddly very striking and strong looking. Legolas had a long Chinese conversation with the man who was watching them with a sly smile, asking how the business was and how his days were faring. The man guided this new rich western client to his best stock and watched with a pleasant grin as the blonde man sighed with approval at a grey spotted mare, gently stroking her neck. The horse seemed very fond of this treatment and leaned her head to the caress of the man, snorting softly.
Legolas smiled to himself and petted the animal, stroking its long mane. "/What a beautiful beast you are/," he whispered in Sindarin. The animal neighed as in approval and he chuckled. 'I should really get another horse farm,' he mused to himself. He was awully fond of animals –especially horses- and only shunned the idea because he could not find it in himself to lead a "settled" life, so to say. True enough, he stayed in certain locations for several years, but time seemed to fly by so quickly and before long, it was the dreadful moment of goodbyes again. But that was not the real reason he had avoided things of that nature. The real reason was that he associated such things with a more... "normal" life. A life that spoke of a true spouse. And he seemed to be the eternal bachelor, so it was hard to think of himself as anything but a wanderer, aimlessly drifting about.
He had thought of such a lifestyle after Irulan had entered his life. It hadn't been the first time he had had fantasies of settling down, but it was certainly the one he had really and truly believed in with a surprising fervor. Unlike all the other women that had entered his life at one point or another, Irulan knew who he really was. It was a fantastic relief to know that he wouldn't have secrets from her and that he wouldn't have to lie to her. And it was an incredible solution to the solitude of his soul. And most important of all, he had loved her with a passion he thought himself incapable of. Enough to make the impossible possible. Enough to lay his world aside and stride into a new one.
He glanced about and smiled ruefully. 'At least enough to stride into a stable in China,' he thought to himself. He sighed again and was about to call for Haldir to ask his opinion regarding the necessary preparations for the trip ahead of them when the strangest sensation swept over him.
Legolas stilled instantly. And listened. To what, he could not tell. A call perhaps? Did someone just call his name? Did he hear a word? The animal beside him snorted quietly and Legolas whispered a few soothing words, and patted it some more to still it.
Nothing.
And yet, he didn't let go. He stood, ignoring the sound of the horses and his friends around him, turned his face instinctively to the south and listened.
Nothing.
Or maybe a little, tiny something.
Not a call. No words. More like a feeling. Like mist coming over the valley it came to him, slowly and gossamer. Only a poet could have sorted out the terms to describe it. Legolas was no poet. He was something better - an elf. He inhaled the sharp, fresh scent of the forest and let his heart tune into this invitation that was laid before him. What was it?
Peace.
He knew then that what was broken and weak was restored. That the invisible ties that hung him to Irulan had exerted the tiniest pull if only to prove that they existed still. Or rather, existed once more. He inhaled another shaky breath. Ah, the sweet water of relief! The surge of hope! The mad joy of chance!
He didn't know how and even less why, but something of utter value was restored to him. Something that had been torn from him and had left him gaping, empty, shell-like. Something that meant the world. Something he should have never lost in the first place. He took another shaky breath, his surroundings forgotten. "Irulan," he whispered, his eyes glazed, his hands resting on the speckled neck of the animal. "My bond." He blinked, feeling small and weak. The perfect astonishment of the most wonderful surprise was on him and it made his head spin. "My bond," he said again, so much in need of, but also so afraid of believing it. "Irulan." He smiled at the animal as it neighed in approval. "My Irulan," he said finally, his emotions swelling in him impossibly and leaving room for nothing else.
Okay...now this was NOTHING like her Europe trip! Irulan squinted and looked ahead out of the dusted window -the little winding dirt road seemed to stretch into infinity. The bus shook so heftily that it took real effort not to bang her head against the pane. Some child was crying fervently somewhere in the back seats. Chinese people were incredibly LOUD – the conversation was filling up the whole tiny atmosphere of the bus.
The woman next to her grinned a toothless grin and offered her an apple. Irulan smiled back, then shook her head. The woman insisted, pushing the fruit underneath her nose. She hesitated, suddenly unsure if it would be offensive not to accept it. After another slight reluctance, Irulan smiled shyly, and took the fruit from her. The old woman yelled something in Chinese then, but she could only shake her head, then shrug to indicate that she doesn't understand.
"Where you go?" a young woman intervened from behind them.
"To visit a friend," Irulan said to her. She translated.
"Where?"
Irulan pulled out the folded map from her jeans, unfolded it and handed it over. "This village," she said, raising herself a little to point it out. The village was not exactly where she was going, but his estate should be close. Unfortunatley the bus shook heftily and she ended up banging her head on the window, collapsing back to her seat. The old woman laughed wholeheartedly at that, and so did the younger one. Confused how to react, she rubbed her head and chuckled along.
"Long way," the young woman said finally, handing her back the map.
"Yes," she sighed, once again turning to gaze out the window. "You have no idea."
They exchanged some more sentences and laughed a second time when Irulan's apple was hurled from her hand and had to be retrieved with much trouble from underneath a passenger seat. After that she felt tired. All this constant traveling was not easy on her body. So she tried to find the most suitable position –and it took her no less than 45 minutes- and dozed off into an uncomfortable nap.
She was lost in a dream that concerned both Anne and Russel when a hefty jerk pulled her out from it. She was flung agains the seat in her front and fell back with a soft thud. She blinked several times, trying to wake up. To be in China in a bus that seemed to be ready to fall apart any moment, was not something easily registered. She moaned and massaged her face, and that was when she heard the shouting.
She blinked again, then sat up further, trying to see what the whole tumult was about. A group of men were blocking the road. They were talking ardently to the bus driver who had joined them. Half the people in the bus seemed to have spilled out. Eager to stretch her legs, Irulan took her backpack –just in case someone decided to be greedy- and walked down the backdoor. For a moment she just stood there, bending her knees and feeling the heat of the early summer sun on her face.
Too soon she was pulled out of her trance. A hand landed on her shoulder and shook it. Irulan turned around, facing a woman whom she recognized to be the one sitting behind her and speaking a broken English. "Go!" the woman hissed, then shook her some more.
Perplexed, the smile vanished from her face. "What?"
"Go!" The woman pushed her slightly and in her bafflement, Irulan fell a step back. 'Is she mad?' she thought, and remained frozen. "Go! Looking for you!" Again she was pushed back while the woman fervently looked towards the men, then back at Irulan.
Irulan followed her gaze to the men who now seemed to be walking towards the bus. Before she could think of what this could be about, she was grabbed by the collar and hauled to the rear of the bus. How such a tiny creature had managed to do that, was beyond her. "Hey!" she managed to squeak, but the woman had no intentions of listening.
"Go! Men dangerous!" She fluttered her hands, eager to explain herself. It meant nothing to Irulan. Until she recognized the symbol for gun. That finally woke her up.
"No...you must be mistaken. I mean why would they...."
She was interrupted with a string of Chinese from the woman that sounded like curses from the tone of it. One final push, away from the bus and the woman was gone. She remained there, a strange pulse of fear running through her. It was impossible.Who would look for her? Especially men with gun! Thankfully her body moved by itself, and before she could make a decision, she found herself gliding into the woods that ran by the road. "This is so stupid!" she mumbled to herself. "Who on earth would look for you?! Go back you fool! If you miss the bus, that'll be your end!"
And then she heard it. The gunshot. On normal terms that meant nothing. It held no explanation as to why they would be looking for her or who these people were. But it was enough to make her run. Without a look over her shoulder, Irulan began to run as fast as she could.
She ran and ran, the forest swishing by her, tearing at her clothes, her hair, her face. Her backpack slapped her back with a painful thud, but this was lost on Irulan. Her clumsy feet, used to well paved city streets stumbled on root and stones and twice she fell. But she picked herself up again and continued to run. If such times were moments when people who had some dwindled hero blood in their veins proved it by being calm and calculating, Irulan had no speck of hero blood in her. She was afraid and her fear was of no comparison to anything she had felt before. Like a giant, menacing beast it hunted her through the maze of trees, breathing on her neck and she was running from that beast as much as she was running from whoever had shot that gun.
And finally, after what seemed like eternity to her and was more like twenty minutes in real time, she collapsed against a bark, her lungs and muscles on fire. She breathed long, painful gasps of precious air and slowly sunk to the floor, clutching at her knees. Several minutes she sat there, unable to hear anything other than the wild thumping of her own heart. If anyone was following her, she wouldn't have heard a single shout - so wild was the beating of her own pulse in her ears.
The absurdity of the situation slowly took a hold of her. Her naive city mind refused to accept the oddness of recent events and immediately took the chance of her rest to reason its way out of the mess. 'This is crazy!' she thought in between loud gasps, 'There must be a mistake!' Her fear rang too loud for any persuasion of that idea, but she forced her heart to calm down further and insisted. 'Stupid woman! Why did you run because someone shoved you into the trees?!' The idea was like cool water to the flame that her body was at the moment. "True," she mumbled to herself. "True." There must have been a misunderstanding. She had no idea why the bus was stopped or who those men had been looking for. But certainly it couldn't be her! Irulan had no reason to be pursued. Especially to be harmed. She wrote articles for magazines, for God's sake! And yes, some of those had touched on some rather peculiar people or delicate subjects and had been more on the political side. But they hadn't been dangerous enough for anyone to come looking for her in China!
The reasoning eased her heart immensely. She opened her eyes and looked around. Nobody was following her. The drumbeat in her chest softened somewhat and the stillness of the summer forest reached out to her. She took a deep breath, feeling the distant burning of her lungs. Irulan had no enemies. Stepping on the tail of some collagues didn't make people chase you halfway around the globe. She had no money. She hesitated. Could it be that anyone had discovered that all of Baeron's posessions were transfered to her? Impossible! Only the Circle knew of this matter and certainly no one from that counsel would try to kill her for that. 'Yes but what if someone outside the Circle found out and wanted the money?'
She wiped her nose and stared up at the branches that hung lazily in the summer heat. It was absurd but not completely improbable. The idea brought even a more uncomfortable one - what if someone was aware of her relationship with Legolas and wanted to kidnap her to threaten him? Now THAT made absolutely sense. She sat up a little and placed her back to the tree. Legolas was an important man - not only as the head of the Circle. He was a rich businessman with much influence and incredible investments all around the globe. Anyone who kept a close enough eye on him could see his affiliation with her easily enough. After all, he had visited her numerous times in New York and well, for anyone who kept track of such things, it was easy to see that he had a rather strong 'liking' for her. She combed a shaking hand through her hair and swallowed. It seemed more than likely. Haldir had mentioned before that there had been numerous assasination or kidnapping attempts on almost all elves through the course of history. Even though their true identities remained hidden, it was not hard to see how rich or influential they were and if not for their experience and their utter care, many would have probably ended up killed by humans for petty reasons such as vengeance, changing the tide of a war, or plain robbery.
That was the only logical explanation and the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Only someone who was messing with people of Legolas' scale would deem Irulan important enough to track her down in rural China. Only someone like that would have the resources and the people to locate her in the first place. The hot breath of fear on her neck returned. She stood up slowly on her shaking legs and once again listened. Nothing. 'Maybe,' she thought then, licking her lips, 'I am being too imaginative. Maybe there really was a misunderstanding. I mean...that woman hardly knew English. Maybe she meant something else...and I gallopped into the woods for no reason!'
She exhaled and moaned, wiping her face. That option seemed to be even worse than the Legolas related paranoia. After all, if that was really the case, she had run very far from the bus and not to mention the road for nothing. 'And,' Irulan realized suddenly with mounting terror, 'I doubt that I can find my way back even if I want to.'
"Oh my God!" she whispered into the thick silence of the forest. "I am lost!" She took a few steps away from the tree and turned in all directions, trying to determine where she had come from. Maybe it was her panic at the current moment or maybe it was the fact that Irulan had never been into such thick woods before in her entire life, but all directions seemed absolutely the same. She shifted restlessly on her feet. "Don't be stupid!" she said out loud, eager to convince herself. "I...I can find my own footsteps!" A meager relief came with the thought. For once, her clumsiness and trampling like an elephant through the trees would be useful! She wiped the sweat off her face and adjusted her backpack. Yes, she wold locate her footsteps and follow them back. 'What if the bus is gone?' she thought then with dismay and it forced another quiver of fear into her heart. Hastily she stomped out that option. "I'll just wait for another passing vehicle," she said out loud once more. She checked her pocket and thankfully the piece of paper that had the written Chinese directions for her destination was still there.
And just when she exhaled with relief, she heard something. Irulan stilled instantly and held her breath. Nothing for a few seconds but immediately afterwards the unmistakeable sound of yelling. Then a shout of an answer from another voice. "Oh my God!" she whispered the second time. They were coming after her! She imagined seeing a rustle in the distance to her right and without another attempt at rationalizing, turned and began to run in the opposite direction. The idea that the men were merely coming to rescue her after she had made such a run into the woods due to a misunderstanding occured to her, but the certainty that this was not the case bloomed in her heart with such ferocity that Irulan didn't wait to check on that information. 'They will find me!' her mind yelled as the dreadful beast of fear threw another shadow on her like a giant dragon in the sky, chasing his prey. 'They only have to look for my clumsy tracks and they will find me in a matter of minutes!'
She ran faster. Or tried to. 'Legolas!' she thought with desperation. 'Legolas, help me!' In her frenzy and fear, it seemed to be the most natural wish. Even though Legolas was in New York in Amanda's arms and could never hear her - forget about reaching her. Even though Legolas was the apparent reason for her being chased now like some animal. Even though she had spat bitter words at him and he had returned the favor with even harsher ones.The world around her spun in a wild show of green, blue and brown and a deep laughter filled the skies.
The laughter grew more and more and became a roaring narrow strip of water, sunken in the bowels of the earth. She skirted right at the edge of it and stared down stupidly at the swirling blue and white. For any casual traveler it was perhaps not as horrible as it looked. On the contrary, if Irulan had come across it after a lazy stroll in the woods, she would have found the untouched cool waterside rather beautiful and refreshing for a hot summer day. As it was, it was cutting through her way of escape like the blue steel of a sharp knife.
She stood, perplexed and mad with fear. A rough sound came from behind her and Irulan glanced to see three men running towards her through the maze of barks. She looked down again. 'I can't jump!' she thought, all the will to survive crashing at her brain like the desperate waves of a stormy sea. Her eyes wandered over the scattered boulders sitting in the seemingly icy water. 'I can't jump! I'll spill my brains out into the river!'
And yet her feet moved and it was only when she was already in air, plummeting towards the ribbon below that she found the voice to scream out her terror. Still in disbelief that she had actually jumped, Irulan fought needlessly against the quickly approaching water. Only a moment later she was greeted by its icy touch. Thousands of needles stung into her face and her skin and she screamed underwater with the shock of it. The river swallowed her voice as well as her body, pulling her down. The weight of her backpack was like lead on her shoulders and she was smashed twice against rock before she could brush it off. Then she was swirled about so many times that she lost the distinction of up and down, of air and water. The world was a cold, liquid hell and she washed through it like a crushed leaf. When she hit a third rock, at last someone turned off the lights and the cold. And it was the kindest thing anyone had done for her on this entire trip.