Woah! Loads more reviewers! You guys ROCK!!! You make me so happy!!!
Wenamedthemonkeyjack: WOW! THANK YOU! You are SO nice! I hope you didn't have a heart attack; LOL; it would be a shame to lose you!
Sugarcoatedlies: That's perfectly fine that you thought you'd hate it. I'm just happy that you found it interesting! That is an even more valuable review because it makes me feel like I was a good enough writer to keep ya interested! Thanx!
Idril Falastari: Thanx! I hope you find the rest as funny!
Snugglebnny: Here ya go, now you can find out!
Ev1lSandwh1ch: Eeeek! I love monkeys, but I don't want rabies, so, here ya go!
Psyco dragon lover: Thank you SO much for your help! I've got oodles of ideas, but I need more of your help thinking of freak accidents. I'll e-mail you, k?
BlackJackSilver: I know, I know, I couldn't spell my way out of a paper bag, but I can't figure out how to go back and change those mistakes! When I tried, I got worried that everything would get screwed up, so I stopped. HELP!
Goth Princess: I laughed SO hard when I read your review! Have you written any stories? You'd be great writing a parody or something! I have to agree, I would not want to be in Mary Ann's position right now (although, I wouldn't mind, literally being in her position (pressing Jack against the wall, LOL)). I would definitely rather be doing a million things than go on a trip with Norrington and his mom!
Capnjacks-luckylady: YAY (I use that word way too much, I need a new one, any suggestions?)! You're awesome! I just couldn't help ending my chapter like that! I didn't know if people would even care, so I decided to try it. Here's the rest:
Dimonah Tralon: I am SO happy! I was just talking with my friend, Cad, and I mentioned that you had reviewed my newsie story and I missed hearing from ya and HERE YOU ARE!!! I didn't realize this until after I finished my newsie story, but by any chance, did you write Forever Yours? I LOVE that story and you MUST write a sequel!!! Anyways, when I get my thoughts organized, I'll e-mail you about my other story, and hopefully you can help me out! THANX SO MUCH! Oh yeah, and I am overjoyed that you found the story better than you originally thought! Wahoo!
AHHHHHHHH! I'm a motor mouth! SORRY! I tried to make the shout- outs shorter this time and I STILL got carried away! AHHH! I'm rambling again! I've kept you long enough, HERE YA GO:
Last chapter: He leaned toward her and-
His hand was shaking with anticipation as he devoured her full lips in one single passionate swipe. He became intoxicated with her scent and he felt his hands begin to paw greedily at her voluptuous curves. His hands found the strings of her corset and he quickly began undoing them. With one great tug, he- (AN1)
Oh no! Ye are NO' supposed ta be thinkin' these things abou' Mary Ann! Remember, she called ye stupid! Wake up! Helloooooo! NO! Bad Jack! Do NO' look at 'er lips! Quick, say something witty! She's putty on yer hands! Say something ta insult HER and see 'ow SHE likes it! Jack.... Yer looking at her lips again! But she's looking at my lips! This shoul' be easy! I'll just kiss 'er and sweep 'er off 'er feet, and- NO! Yer acting like putty in HER hands! Yer the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow! A woman shoul' never 'ave control over ye! Got it? Now, quick, say something! Jack thought as he realized he was having fantasies about Mary Ann.
Mary Ann's POV
What the hell was that?! You almost kissed him, you dolt! He's a womanizer! He'd use you! Heck, he probably doesn't even like you! He's probably going to be laughing at you right when you leave because you became so hot and bothered! BE STRONG, GIRL!
"Good. Now, ah, I demand that you, ah, help me... now...please?" she said and mentally kicked herself for sounding so uncertain.
Jack smirked and said, "well, luv, it seems ta me... like ye 'ave a problem."
"Wow, thanks so much! You just helped me heaps! Did anyone ever tell you that you are quite possibly the brightest man on the face of the earth?" Mary Ann said sarcastically, but still had a small hint of urgency in her voice. She was loosing patience with this man, very quickly and was completely out of ideas.
Jack brushed off her catty remark with a wave of his hand, and said, "'Ere's wha' I suggest ye do...nothin'."
"Oh, well, that is SUCH a brilliant idea! But here's a better one: Why don't you take your brilliant ideas and shove them up your-"
"There's no need fer harsh words, luv, jus' let things run their course. Jus' sit back an' take things as they come."
"Alright, you are officially crazy! How can you say that? I'm going to be a frog again, Jack, a FROG! Do you understand that?! I can not just sit back and do nothing!"
"Fine. If ye don' wan' me help, good luck on yer own!" Jack said, turning his back to her.
Mary Ann took a deep breath, instantly regretting what she was about to do, "Wait. Was that all the advice you had? Just, do nothing?"
Jack smirked and turned around, got 'er righ' where I wan' 'er, "Well, if yer REALLY agains' this. I could go with ye."
"Oh, that's just fucking wonderful, Jack! Just waltz right into the Commodore's house (AN: HAHA! He still lives with his mom! Aw, I shouldn't make fun of him. Sorry!) when you're a WANTED MAN?!"
"No, no, no. Ye've got it all wrong, luv. I'll be there, bu' I won' really be there. Savvy?"
Mary Ann shook her head and questioned herself "Why do I even bother?"
"I'll jus' sit ou'side, an' if ye get into trouble, jus' say... ah... jus' say 'Jack is a sexy rogue'" He said and smiled cheekily.
"What?!"
"Aw, come on. Ye can't jus' say ''elp me, Jack'. 'Tis a bit obvious, aye?"
"Oh, and 'Jack's a sexy rogue' is so much better?"
"No, but I jus' got' ye ta say it! Honestly, if you really feel' tha' way, ye could've jus' told me righ' away. More time ta have fun tha' way." Jack replied and winked.
"Jack, I-"
Jack gently put his finger to her lips and said, "Shhhhh! Don' say anythin'." (Like at the end when he says "Elizabeth, it would never have worked between us...") And with that he turned and walked out of the room, leaving a seething Mary Ann behind.
Admit it! You liked that! I did not! Did too! Did not! Did too! FINE! So what if I did?! There's nothing wrong with that, right? Right? Ok, so I enjoyed that a bit, it's not like I'll become obsessed or anything. Yeah, so what if he is kinda cute when he walks, and the way he slurs his speech, and the way his dreds fly all over when he moves. Crap. I'm screwed.
6:56 p.m.
"Mary Ann! The Commodore's here to see you." Elizabeth called up the stairs.
"Listen, I'll follow behind ye and eavesdrop. Th' minute I think o' somethin', I'll let ye know an' we can find a way ta get ye ou' o' this, savvy?" Jack said as Mary Ann was stepping out into the hallway (AN: Oooooooh! They were in her bedroom! ALONE! LOL, just kidding, they won't even admit they like each other yet).
"How are you going to let me know without them seeing you?" Mary Ann said, voice filled with anxiety.
"Don' worry. 'Tis all up 'ere." He replied, pointing to his forehead.
She rolled her eyes and began down the stairs.
"Mary Ann! You look ravishing!" The Commodore said.
Oh, I'm sorry. You just made me throw up in my mouth. "Why thank you, Commodore."
"Shall we?" He asked as he held out his arm to lead her out.
Only if I get to castrate you in the process. "Of course." She replied
with the most unrealistic smile she could muster.
Meanwhile, two stories up...
Jack stealthily clambered out off of Mary Ann's balcony and to the window ledge below.
Nine curse words and two flesh wounds from an offending tree later, Jack was on the ground and a good distance from Mary Ann's retreating back. Mmmmm, an' wha' a nice backside it is... he thought, but quickly focused on the task at hand when she turned around and gave him a sharp glare.
Mary Ann's POV
"These are beautiful flowers, don't you think so?" The Commodore asked.
"Sure." She replied, zoning out again.
"While we're on the subject... have you ever thought about getting married?" He asked.
Mary Ann's expression was a mix between a deer in the headlights, and someone who had a severe case of seasickness. Since when were we talking about marriage?! I thought he said something about flowers! Geeze, I'll never learn...
"Never!" She said quickly, and after hearing a chuckle from behind them she quickly added, "I... don't believe in marriage."
"Don't believe in marriage?" Norrington questioned.
"Well, I believe in it, it's just that...um... I've decided to pledge my life to the Greek goddess Artemis. Therefore, I've decided not to marry." She said with a weak smile.
Commodore Norrington gave her a curious glance, but made a silent pact with himself that he would make her change her mind.
After walking for another 5 minutes full of painful silance, they finally arrived at the Commodore's jinormous estate, and lookie here! Who's that old, saggy, ugly, monstrosity there in the doorway? Why, it's our dear friend, Caddy!
"Mary Ann, dear. How nice to see you again! Come inside, come inside! James, would you mind letting us talk in private for a minute?" The bag lady also known as Caddy asked.
Norrington looked a might unsure, but Caddy glared at him and he plastered a fake smile on and said he would be happy to comply.
Caddy grasped Mary Ann's arm to the point of cutting off circulation and led her into a sitting room. She shoved her towards a sofa and closed and locked the door.
"So... heh, what about this trip thingy?" Mary Ann asked, politely trying to make conversation.
"Oh, please! Like I'd want to travel with you! That's just an excuse so no one will come looking for you after you've been turned back into a frog!" Caddy replied with an evil smirk.
"Oh... crap." Was all Mary Ann managed to get out.
"Now," Caddy said, whipping out her wand again, "Let's get this over with-"But she was interrupted by a loud thump from outside and a muffled, "damn to the depths whatever man thought up shrubbery!"
Jack's head became visible from the bushes and he rushed up to the window. He heroically tried to break in, but those windows must've been made of high-quality Plexiglas because the only thing he succeeded in doing, was to make a rather large dent in his forehead and a resounding echo around the sitting room.
"Bloody window." He said as he ran around to the front door. The door handle to the sitting room jiggled violently and you could hear various curse words leak into the room.
After a brief moment of silance, there was a tremendous 'thump' and "oof" as the result of Jack's attempts to break down the door. He continued ramming the door without mercy, and through the duration of his attempts, Mary Ann and Caddy sat in an awkward silance, staring at the door.
"Where are the bloody guards when you need them?" Caddy mumbled, and Mary Ann silently began repeating her mantra for the past couple of minutes 'I do not know him. I do not know him. I do not know him.'
After another 3 minutes, Caddy exasperatedly said, "Oh, this is just ridiculous!" and unlocked the door.
Jack casually tipped his hat and said "Thanks very much." And he took a seat next to Mary Ann.
"Well, well, well, Captain Jack Sparrow. Long time no see, hm?" Caddy said.
"Too long if ye ask me." He said as Mary Ann rolled her eyes.
"Enough with the pleasantries, Sparrow. I'm going to turn this wench into a frog, and nothing is going to stop me!" Caddy said, once again, raising her wand level with Mary Ann's head.
Jack gently pushed the wand down and said, "Now jus' hold on a momen'. Ye won' wan' ta do anythin' rash, now, would ya? Why no' give 'er a chance ta remain human?"
"Oh, how cute. Is Captain Jack Sparrow sticking up for this helpless little worm? You do realize I could kill you both, right this instant with just a few words." Caddy said in a taunting, sickeningly sweet voice. Meanwhile, Mary Ann was holding on to her last thread of patience before she rushed forward and kicked the shit out of Caddy.
"I'm no' sticking up fer 'er, I'm jus' making a point. Why no' give 'er a chance ta remain a human? If ye really are as great as ye say ye are, than it should be easy ta defeat 'er, righ'? I mean, look at 'er, she's a pushover, aye?" Jack said and was suddenly aware of Mary Ann clenching her fists. Dead man walkin'!
Caddy laughed, "I can see what you're getting at, Sparrow. I know you're trying to buy the lady some time and than you think you can miraculously get away and add another legend to your list. I'll tell you what, Captain... I'll humor you, and take you up on that offer. You'll be sorry that you ever even suggested it, because now, instead of just this pathetic princess, you're even more involved. Meet me at the docks tomorrow morning at sunrise and I'll start you out on these...tests. Don't even think about escaping either, because I have powers you can't even begin to imagine."
"Fine, do we 'ave an accord, than?" Jack said, sticking out his hand.
Caddy laughed maliciously again and shook his hand, "very well, Sparrow."
"Well, it was a pleasure speaking with you. Now, if you'll excuse us, we'll be on our way now." Jack said as he grabbed Mary Ann's arm and dragged her out of the house.
Mary Ann shook herself out of the stupor she was in, "What just happened in there?" Her anger was bottled up and she was trying desperately not to go postal.
"I saved your ass, that's what happened. No need to thank me." He said smugly. Remember that bottle I mentioned just now? The one with Mary Ann's anger in it? Well, it just shattered and her anger bubbled to the surface.
Now, if someone chose this exact moment to write an essay on anger management, Mary Ann would not be a good example of someone who keeps their cool. Her eyes flashed maliciously as she took one gigantic swipe at Jack's face.
Jack wasn't expecting this, thus he ended up with a shattered nose. Mary Ann gave a satisfied sigh and said, "Man, that felt good!"
OK, I would REALLY appreciate it if you all could review! I had SUCH a hard time with this chapter (that's why it took so long!) and I've been working on it for SOOOOOO long! I just felt like I couldn't get everything right, and I hate that feeling, but I didn't think it was fair to keep you all hanging after I stopped mid-sentence last chapter! PLEASE REVIEW! If you only review once (which I hope isn't the case), make it be for this chapter, I need loads of help right now!!!
AN1: Special thanx to my buddy, Lexie for helping with that little steamy moment in Jack's mind at the beginning! That entire paragraph was her's! YAY! Go, Lexie!!!