I know. AGAIN it has been too long. But you HAVE to give me a break – the Christmas and then the New Years mayhem was impossible to disregard in New York. That is no excuse, yes, but it is the truth.
A million things are happening in my life right now and sometimes I really want to write, but hardly find the chance or time to do so. I ask for forgiveness and patience.
I know the story is very different from FATH. It has definitely none of that romantic courting that we were fond of so much, the last time. But the point was to write something different, as always, and though it might be "dragging" for some, I really like the way it is evolving. I hope that by the time we reach the ending and when I tie up all the lose ends, it will be more understandable for everyone.
As a personal note, I must ask for all not-signed-in reviewers to give me their e-mail if they actually want a reply to their questions. I am not a psychic, girls!
He wouldn't speak to her. Nor would he look at her. Ironically, Irulan felt at the moment very much the woman she had been when she had first met Legolas. Yes, this was the cool, aloof elf that had slowly strode down the stairs in his castle in England and had looked down at her with a stare that suggested strong doubts about any heritage that she might have.
'Or maybe not,' she thought, gazing towards the forest. For the coldness of the man was not without a slight tinge of sadness that he didn't have at their first confrontation. And she knew, of course, that if he had never courted her or had never shared a strong intimacy with her, his actions would have looked far more normal. She was, she had to admit, acutely used to being pampered and spoiled and chased by Legolas. Being treated with indifference was a sharp slap in the face, compared to what she had been indulged with, before.
"Let me take a look at that rib," he said suddenly from right above and Irulan flinched and blushed, as if she was caught at the act of pondering about him. She didn't answer, and only shifted a little to rest her back on the rock behind her and he crouched down in silence, laying out his tools on the grass.
She looked towards the forest again, trying not to show how confused, irritated and yet excited she was, and only after many moments realized that Legolas stood still, staring at her. When their eyes met, he hesitated before he said "I will need you to remove your shirt."
Irulan bit her lip and took a long minute to unbutton it while she desperately tried to hide her panic. A clash of emotions surged through her, adding only to her uneasiness. It was rather foolish to feel excitement now when all doors of a potential relationship were closed to her. Equally foolish would be shame – they had, after all, had spent several nights exploring each other physically and the sight of her naked skin was nothing new to Legolas. And yet, both excitement and embarrassment tried to overwhelm her as she slowly pulled away the piece that covered the tender area, exposing it to the elf's scrutiny, all the while thanking the gods that she had decent underwear on.
If Legolas felt likewise, he was far better at hiding it. With the cool gaze and touch of an expert he set to work. His warm fingers glided over flesh, causing mild pain and more excitement. Irulan swallowed hard and looked away again, feeling far too sentimental for a woman of her age. He pressed a little here and there and she groaned her approval of pain. Then he apologized for hurting her and set to wipe a rather awful smelling balm on the area. She had caught that pungent smell at her first treatment and the memory was as fresh as yesterday. "What is that?" she said, her eyes focused on the grass.
"A friend of mine makes this," he said and due to the lightness of his tone, she found the courage to look up at him. He smiled a little, but did not meet her gaze. "He refuses to tell me what it contains, but it works like magic. I always carry one with me."
She watched his fingers, carefully massaging the balm into her skin and slowly released a breath she had been holding in anticipation of the pain that didn't come. "Is he an elf?" The question was merely for the sake to ignite a nice conversation between them. Legolas shook his head, then retrieved some more balm and continued his work. "If it's so impressive, it must have taken him a long time to come up with it."
He smiled again, not glancing up at her as his hand cupped the bruised region and stayed like that for a moment. A strange heat emanated from his touch and Irulan found herself remembering that, as well. "It is family tradition and he will not give his secret to anyone outside it." He glided his palm further down, and held still for another long minute. "He is very old now, but his grandchild has mastered the art."
"In all that time someone in the line could have figured out a remedy for that awful smell," Irulan mumbled. Finally he looked up to meet her gaze and her face broke into something between a smile and a grin. Legolas looked at her for a long moment, seemingly confused how to respond, then merely smiled politely before he cast his gaze down again.
'Not encouraging at all,' Irulan thought dryly, and tried not to be disheartened. "Legolas," she said then, not willing to give up that easily, "who were those men? And why were they after me?"
This time, when their eyes met, there he was pure seriousness in them. "I was hoping you'd tell me," he said slowly.
She started, surprised. "You mean you don't know?" He slowly shook his head, not breaking the eye contact and for some reason, it felt absurd that Legolas was as clueless about the matter as herself.
"But I will find out," he said then, his tone sizzling with suppressed fury, "and have them pay for this." His palm moved again and for a moment she thought he was caressing her skin, but then scolded herself for the stupidity – he had just continued the massage. "You must tell me everything, Irulan," he added a long moment later. "Who would want to...hurt you?"
Irulan bit her lip. "I don't know, Legolas. I was hoping that you would."
He exhaled slowly and waited a little before he laid out the bandage and motioned Irulan to sit away from the rock so he could wind it about her torso. "I will not let this rest. I want you to think of every possible suspect. Colleagues, relatives, friends – anyone."
"I DID think about it, but I couldn't come up with a single name who would actually go all the way to..."
His dismissive wave of hand cut her short. "ANYONE, Irulan. It might be important."
"I will try," she submitted finally and bit her lip. He nodded curtly, then began to roll his tools together. Irulan watched him for a while and unconsciously shifted a bit. Maybe it was only psychological, but the pain seemed better already. "How did you know that they were after me?"
"We didn't realize that threat until we heard of John."
She blinked in surprise as if to say "Which John?", but merely moments later understanding dawned in her eyes. "John, the guide in Shanghai?"
He folded the bag that held the tools and stood, crouching on one knee, giving her a long and intense look. "Yes, him." Irulan opened her mouth, the question obvious, so he continued with a calm voice. "He is dead, Irulan."
She gasped in surprise and could only look on as if seeking a denial in his blue gaze. The denial didn't come. "How...why...Legolas, are you...?"
"I am certain, yes," he sighed. His eyes momentarily fell to the hand on her lap and instinctively he reached out to hold it. At the very last moment he realized his own intention and flinched, then managed to hold the blanket pooled on her lap and pretended to smoothen it. Irulan registered neither his first intention, nor his pain to hide it, but looked on with empty, glazed eyes, her brain desperately trying to find sense in this news. "He was stabbed in a bar in China," he added slowly, then retrieved his fingers and placed them on his upraised knee once again. It was easier to look her in the eye after that.
"But why?" she said with an awed whisper. And then a hasty addition: "Maybe it had nothing to do with me!"
He shook his head and watched confusion bloom on her features once more. "It can't be a coincidence that he has mislead us."
"Mislead you?"
Legolas sighed and gazed away for a moment. Mona was approaching and the rest of the group was following her. Though a part of him wanted to chase them away to grant himself a bit more private time with Irulan after the long parting, another part -the rational one- felt better for it, because it was a forced intervention on his feelings and welcome for it. When he looked back at her, he actually managed a small smile. "It is a good time as any. Let me tell you from the beginning."
And so he did. He dismissively left out the part of the letter and how he came to join the group in the first place and started with their arrival in Shanghai. It felt strange to speak about it now to Irulan. He had honestly expected her to be rather furious about their chase, but even though she listened long and hard, she showed no sign of it. Often he stopped to ask her questions and she continued, telling her side of the tale. Haldir made a few comments and so did Russel and Anne, while Mona remained politely silent and answered only when asked. Irulan felt her eyes on herself, straying to Legolas, then back to her and felt an awkward embarrassment at the fact that she knew about their relationship. Which also meant that she was witnessing now how this relationship had ceased to exist. 'What does she think of me now?' she wondered, trying to focus on the topic at hand. 'Does she feel pity for me? Does she think me stupid or vain?' She cast a fleeting look in the direction, but the placid gaze of Mona was impossible to read.
Her eyes drifted around the others who were all sitting in a circle, now. All of them were witness to something stained and lost and Irulan unconsciously lifted the blanket to cover her chest further, feeling somehow naked. Haldir looked upset and silent. Irulan thought it strange, for she had never seen the Marchwarden so. Haldir was almost always a positive and rather warm person. Now he kept his eyes on her, or fixed on the grass in the middle of the circle and spoke little. Anne wasn't looking at Russel at all and kept addressing either Legolas or Haldir. She made eye contact with Irulan a few times, but then hastily looked away. Irulan couldn't decide if it was anger dancing in those orbs or shame. 'Maybe she thinks that I will be angry for her coming here,' Irulan mused and gave up on guessing. Russel was silent, too. Unlike everyone else, he had eyes only for her. His was a supportive, reassuring look and she felt glad for it. She observed that sometimes his stare glided towards Legolas as well and she felt his uncomfort at the fact that the elf was sitting so close to her, but it was obvious that Russel could not raise an objection to that.
And Legolas...Irulan sighed and gave him a sidelong glance as Mona continued about the information she had gathered from the Circle on the matter. Legolas could as well be a stranger to her, now. Distant, cool, aloof and professional - he was a true savior but hardly anything more than that. In fact, his whole stance and aura was so composed and polite, that it was hard to imagine him to be the same elf who had courted her so passionately and had fought so dearly to get her back.
Mona was talking about the woman who had stabbed John in the bar and how they were unable to pick up her trace, yet. Ellen's murderers, she continued, had been easier to locate. Another pang of pain ran through Irulan at the mention of that name. It was dreadful to think that John was dead -though he seemed to be one from the bad guys in this game- but to think that Ellen -eccentric, bold, independent Ellen was dead was an altogether different idea. That beautiful human being was gone. Because of Irulan. She shuddered despite herself.
It was a surprise to feel Legolas gently squeezing her knee over the blanket, then. She looked up, hopeful, sad and confused at the same time and he gave her a small, reassuring smile. "I'm sorry," he said gently.
Irulan swallowed hard and felt him retrieving his hand once more. That, somehow, hurt even more than Ellen's death. She shook her head to clear the confusing and frustrating thoughts. "She died because of me, then," she managed to whisper.
He pursed his lips and for the first time, his look spoke of more than just friendly care. But his voice was as distant as ever when he chose to continue. "She saved your life. It is better to cherish that than dwell on her payment in return."
Irulan took a ragged breath and looked away. She was getting tired of his distance and at the same time knew that she had only herself to blame for that. "What happens now?" No one answered for a long moment. The day's heat was very prominent now and the sky a beautiful blue. "Do you mean to return?" She wasn't asking anyone in particular and no one seemed to be eager to be the first to reply.
"Not without you," Russel said then. "I know what you think – but I'm not going anywhere, leaving you like this."
Irulan smiled to that and looked at Haldir. The Marchwarden pursed his lips for a moment, but didn't glance away. "I think we should all return," was his final reply. "You are unwell. This trip can be continued another time when you are better and when we are sure that the threat on you is removed."
Irulan glanced down at the grass and began to rip some off. "What do you think, Legolas?" She only realized her own question once it had spilled from her lips.
"I agree with Haldir," he said at length and she looked up to meet his gaze. "We shouldn't push our luck."
"But I came to see Baeron's house!" she whined, throwing the grass stems away.
"I agree!" Anne broke in and surprised everyone. When all eyes fixed her, she added reluctantly "I mean…we have come so far. I myself am really curious."
"About what, exactly?" Russel said flatly, eyeing her with suspicion.
"The house," Anne shrugged, feigning innocence. If there was anyone in this Circle who could guess her real intention, it was Russel. He was the one who knew that a return to New York meant Legolas getting back together with Amanda and that this was totally unacceptable for Anne. And the sharp look he was giving her now only meant that he was disagreeing.
To Anne's luck, Irulan picked up the speech. "I agree. We must be really close now. Don't you think, Mona?"
Mona smiled. "You lost the piece of paper with the directions, but judging from what you can remember, I think it should be close."
"How close?"
"A day's ride perhaps."
Irulan looked at Legolas again. "I want to continue, Legolas," she said slowly. He didn't reply and for a moment she was afraid that he would say no. That he would get up, walk off and leave alone. Now that he had found her, he had no obligation to continue this trip. Especially if he found the presence of Irulan so disturbing.
"We will need your help, my Lord," Haldir said then.
"Totally!" Anne jumped to that and put her hand on Russel's knee just in case he meant to say something different.
"I agree of course," Mona commented.
But Legolas heeded none and just stared at Irulan as she stared back. Why was it so hard to say the words? Was it the fear of refusal? The fear of being rejected and looking silly? Whatever the reason, she just sat, unable to utter anything while he sat almost a full minute, waiting for the invitation that didn't come. "Very well," was all he said before he stood up and walked away. Irulan bit her lip and pulled up her blanket, releasing a ragged breath of relief. By the looks of it, even though she deserved none of it, luck was still in her favor.
They packed everything, talked about the route they should take and decided on the safest one, depending on Mona's knowledge. When it came to get on the horses and leave, another small problem issued.
Because Russel was absolutely certain that Irulan should ride with him.
Even Irulan agreed that this was a bad idea – especially considering that Russel was an awful rider. So it was Haldir who calmly explained that each horse should have one experienced rider and one inexperienced one. When no one could disagree with that, he continued by saying that since there were only three experienced riders in the present company, the solution was simple.
Actually it was not simple at all because Russel of course refused to ride with Legolas –not that the elf would agree to it himself- and so did Anne (who, by the way, had no reasonable excuse at all, but managed to squeeze herself out of the dilemma in her usual subtlety before she could be questioned further).
So Irulan ended up with Legolas on the same horse – something she had been hoping for silently since the beginning of the argument. It was her first time on a horse and it would be a lie to say that she wasn't nervous. The animal seemed huge to her eyes and it took her several rather silly attempts to get on it in the first place. They proved to be painful as well, and when it looked like she would undo all Legolas' healings if she continued trying, he came up, lightly took her by the hips and with astonishing ease, lifted her so high that sitting on the saddle was only a matter of sliding to the side. A moment later he jumped to sit behind her, then leaned forward to take the reins into his hands.
If Irulan was a woman who had the slightest idea of seduction, this would be a perfect opportunity to use that knowledge. Unfortunately she was rather silly in those areas and had understood rather early in life that she had no gift for feminine luring. So she remained, sitting in front of her like a fool while he remained silent and polite behind her.
The ride was beautiful – despite the fact that she sat stiff as a stick, afraid to fall and break her rib for sure. The scenery was gorgeous – rice fields expanding from one horizon to the next and after cresting the hill, rich bamboo forests that blended into larger woods. For hours they rode and Irulan tried to sort out her feelings and to decide on her next approach to Legolas. It was obvious that he was not happy to be with her. Once again her mind drifted to the last trip they had been to, together. The way he had looked at her, had tried to make her favor him over David… 'It was a mistake to lose a love like that,' she said to herself for the 17th time.
So she tried to communicate. She asked questions about the region and then China in general. Legolas replied kindly and unfortunately very shortly. Overall, he seemed to swat her curiosity away and another period of silence followed when he proved to be uncooperative. She had been thinking of asking him about his past experiences here, but with the attitude he showed it seemed to bold a thing to dare. The first dawning of frustration began. It was more than annoying to know that Legolas was sitting right behind her, and refused to be pulled into any kind of communication! She had missed him so much and she was so in need of his support and all he would give was "polite" help.
To her own surprise, frustration brought a certain anger with it. And it was not necessarily anger at herself, only. 'Okay, so I was wrong!' she began to think as the day turned from noon to afternoon, 'But surely rubbing it into my face like that isn't the kindest thing to do! If he hates me so much, he should have stayed in New York!'
Merely a moment later she felt shame at that anger and hastily tried another attempt at conversation to still it. "I am glad that you are here, Legolas," she said. He gave no reaction so she forced herself to continue. "I was so frustrated by the idea that I would never see you again." Again, no reply. Irulan bit her lip and looked ahead, not really seeing anything. This was not going to be easy, by the looks of it. "Does Amanda know you came?" As soon as she said it, she felt herself blush. 'Damn! Why the hell did I say that yet?'
"Of course," was the curt reply.
The regret she felt at her own words suddenly slithered in her like a venomous snake. Maybe it wasn't a strange thing to say at all but the way he said it – so natural and so confident, was –for the strangest reason- very unnerving. And so the anger returned. "I bet she didn't like it." She said, her voice growing colder. Again, he didn't answer. 'Stop it Irulan! Stop it before you embarrass yourself!' Unfortunately, her tongue thought otherwise. "I'm surprised you came at all, then."
He stiffened behind her, but said nothing in return. It was more than she could bear – the pain, the fury at herself, the anger at Legolas, the jealousy… "Stop the horse, please," she said coldly. When he hesitated she pressed on, her tone even angrier. "I want to get down. Stop it!"
As soon as the animal halted, she struggled behind him to get down and had to wait for him to glide down before she managed to do so, herself. 'Don't-say-a-word,' her intuition told her over and over again but at this point, Irulan was too worked up to calm down. So she took a few steps, then turned to face him. "Why did you come, anyway?" she countered, her eyes hard and cold.
"I came to help a friend," was his flat reply.
"Oh now so I am a friend. How gracious of you! I don't recall you calling me that the last time we spoke."
Legolas gave her a long look of suppressed anger. "I said I came to help a friend. I didn't say that friend was you."
Irulan froze and locked her eyes to his. He pushed up his chin and did the same. "My mistake," was all she managed to spit out after several moments.
"One of many," was the dry reply.
"So you found me, saved me - fine. You can go back home now, Legolas." She crossed her arms and turned her back to him, not certain if she was hurt or angry. Probably both. "Amanda must be waiting for you."
He clenched his jaws. He was not used to banter with anyone - much less with women. He was not used to such stubborn arguments, such relentless and foolish fights. No one in his long life had challenged him as much as Irulan was challenging him every single minute of every damn day. Challenging his patience. His virtues. His control. "It is good to have someone waiting for you," he seethed a moment later, then looked away with frustration. "It should have been you," he wanted to say, but he would never utter that now.
"It must be," came her cold voice. "I wouldn't know."
"Irulan," he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a moment, "let us not argue any further. Our battles are over. We can at least TRY to be more civilized to each other."
The fury in her doubled on that cue. Because he was so damn mature and right and knowing and understanding! It made her sick to the bone that once again Legolas had effectively put her in her rightful position - the position of an angry little girl. "You come here…," she seethed, beginning a slow advance. Her eyes were burning like two pieces of coal and another lump of coal seemed to have settled on her chest. "…uninvited. You wipe me off with the back of your hand as if I was some stain in New York when I call to apologize, and then you come again! Why, Legolas? So you can rub it into my face a little longer? So you can keep reminding me that I was wrong and selfish and stupid?"
Legolas held her gaze evenly. "No," was all he said. "I came to apologize myself. It was a mistake to speak to you like that. I am sorry." Irulan halted a few steps away and he shifted on his feet, his eyes locked to hers. "It is not my way of dismissing people so easily - especially when they have been dear to me. I acted wrong."
"There it is again! You apologize!" she exclaimed, throwing up her hands. "This is you being wonderful once more. This is you being right!" She gave him a long look. "Your every act, your every step, Legolas, only proves my humanity further."
He stood, at a loss of words, furious and confused at the same time. "Are you mad?!" he finally said, his tone echoing in the opening. "What is this habit of you dissecting yourself constantly underneath this silly loop?!"
"I don't need a loop to see how full of flaws I am," Irulan said stiffly, suddenly anxious because of his reaction.
"I LOVED those flaws!" Legolas exclaimed, taking another step and standing very close to her. To her dismay, her anger was being swiftly replaced with his. "I LOVED you with all you were and all you were not!" He didn't say it, but it rung between them nevertheless. 'I loved you and it was that kind of love you refused.'
"True enough," Irulan managed to stammer in return as she turned a peculiar red with shame. Though her tone of voice only betrayed more anger. "You loved me to pieces, Legolas!" His blue eyes lit with a dangerous flicker to that, but she ignored it. "So much that I can't breathe! Don't you see what I am? I am free."
"And alone," he spat finally and it shut her up. They held each other's gaze for a long time. "I know, because I am both, too," he said finally, sounding very tired and disappointed. "I was ready to give it up. More than ready, actually." He chuckled bitterly and raised his eyes to the surrounding thick forest. "You have no idea how long I have waited for you. How can you?" His piercing gaze made her uncomfortable and she cast her eyes down. "It doesn't matter any longer," Legolas said then and turned away from her. His tone had gained a formal tone once more. "What I called 'love' you called 'oppression'. Whatever it was, it is over now."
Of all the things he said, this was probably the worst. Because now that he said it, Irulan realized that in the deepest chamber of her heart, she had been hoping for something else. She had come here not to run from Legolas as she had thought initially. She had come here to face him and what he meant for her, once and for all. How tragic that nobody really knew what they wanted or what they were doing!
The shock and sadness on her face was too much for him. For hours now he was trying to control his mind and his emotions, sitting behind her in silent agony, wanting nothing more than to embrace her and kiss her. He pinched the bridge of his nose, eager to still his anger, his frustration, his passion. He felt himself approaching a cliff and it wouldn't do to jump it. No, it wouldn't do at all.
But the jump happened against all his better judgment. "What on earth do you want from me?!" he yelled suddenly and honestly, never having heard Legolas yell like that, Irulan jumped and hastily took two steps back. The fire in his eyes was incredible and she felt her heart beginning to thump with fear. Amazed and afraid at the same time she stood, unable to move from her spot as he burned her with his blue gaze. "What do you want, Irulan?" he panted and she shook her head in reply – the only movement she felt capable of, at the moment. "Do you want me to apologize? I will! Do you want me to confess that all that went wrong was MY fault? I WILL!" He took a step towards her and she inched back. Surprisingly, no one moved during all this time and merely watched with the same shock that must have been adorning her own face. "I can't fall too much further from where I am, believe me, so ask me anything you want. ASK!"
It was then that she saw Russel move towards them out of the corner of her eye and the fear she felt for Legolas at the moment made it feel like a rescue. "N-nothing," she stammered when the elf refused to look away and pierced her soul with those eyes of his. She cleared her throat and swallowed. Eye contact literally hurt her eyes but she forced herself to keep it. "Nothing, Legolas. I...I might have gone too far and I'm...sorry." With dismay Irulan realized that indeed, she had gone too far. Was she the very same woman who had told Legolas to go back and be with Amanda? Now it seemed like she was blaming him for it. Shame rose in her face again. "I just...I don't know! I think...I mean why are you like that to me?"
"Like what?" he hissed, taking another step while Irulan took another back. "Forgiving? Kind? Like what, Irulan?!"
"L-like..like THAT!" she yelled finally. "I love you, Legolas, and you treat me like..."
"Stop," he whispered and she halted when he rose his palm, his face becoming even more furious. "Stop, Irulan!" She bit her lip and decided to obey. He breathed hard, once, twice and only then locked eyes with her again. "I am done with deception. Don't EVER say it again!" His voice was calm and low, but the words hit her like a punch in the stomach, anyway.
"But it's true," she whispered and flinched at the look he gave her. For a moment she seriously thought Legolas would slap her in the face. And with a force that would leave her brain damaged for life. She had no doubt that he had a capacity for violence –his whole life spoke of that- but never before had she thought that she might actually experience that first-hand.
"No, it's not," he seethed and made to turn around.
"Legolas, please!" she said then and took two steps toward him. He halted, but seemed no less angry. "I said I'm sorry! And I meant it! Granted, I deserve punishment for all that I did but I can make up for it! I can!"
Slowly, very slowly he turned around. He gave Russel, who stood a few steps further away now, a dismissive glance before he sneered at her. "What will you do?" he said softly, the amusement and disgust in his tone very obvious. "Another pledge of honor, Irulan?" It was a surprise to hear it and Irulan blinked, unable to react. "Even that would fall short this time. And there is no need, anyway," he added lighter, now shifting to stand more leisurely, even though the tenseness emanating from him was nowhere less. A long moment passed. Finally he took a deep breath and slowly, softly said "I will forgive you, Irulan. Let it be my wedding present to you."
"You are so...so...IMPOSSIBLE!" she said heatedly and rolled her fingers into fists. A slight shiver ran up her spine, but for the moment it was rather unimportant. "I KNOW I deserved this! I KNOW! And yet it hurts to see you doing to me what you would do any other! Can't you see that?" To her own irritation, she felt tears welling up again and knew that she didn't possess the strength to hold them back. At least Legolas seemed baffled by that last comment. And if she dared to hope, even a bit embarrassed. So she hung on to that anger and continued shouting. "Have I been this cruel to you? Have I?!" A sob rose from her throat, but Irulan continued, her voice breaking. "And yes...I think I have." Russel made as if he meant to come to her but Irulan held up her hand, preventing his movement. "I wish I had died before, Legolas," she whispered when she felt composed enough to continue. "If you have suffered as much as I do right now –and I know you suffered more- I know that I am already beyond anyone's forgiveness."
A terrible dismay settled on Legolas' face, then and she knew that she had forced him into regret. Although this was not what Irulan wanted. What she wanted was, actually, to lie down and die because all of a sudden all had lost its meaning.
"Irulan...," he said slowly and took a step closer but she hastily took two back, shaking her head vigorously.
"No!" Then, softer "No."
A long silence issued and Legolas fisted his palms as well. He took another step towards her, determined to throw all caution and all rules into Hell, when Russel said "Irulan is getting MARRIED?"
Another silence as she sniffed on and finally turned towards him. It took all his willpower not to strangle the man, then. Obviously his intention was obvious on his face because Russel had the audacity to continue. "To whom?"
"Don't be silly, Russel," she sighed tiredly and proceeded to wipe her cheeks.
"Then why did you say that?" he said to Legolas, persistent.
Legolas took a deep breath and decided to do what mortals were so fond of doing at moments like this. Count to ten. "Don't you think that it is time for a confession, Russel?" was his tired question.
Even Irulan looked up at the man with curiosity, at that. But Russel just stared from one to the other and back. "Confession? Like what?"
All right now this was unbearable! He had just broken his word to Anne, true, but his current anger towards this man prevented any kind of sympathy on his behalf. Let him be embarrassed a little, too! Let him be aggravated, scared and clueless, too! "Stop your games!" he hissed and turned to fully face him. "I'm not in the mood to take them!"
"What is going on?" Irulan said meekly, but didn't receive a reply for many minutes.
"I told you," Legolas said, his eyes still glued on the other man. "You didn't believe me. But I told you." Only then did he glance back at Irulan. "I told you that he wanted more than just friendship. And you thought I was exaggerating."
"Wha...." Russel's mouth fell open and so did Irulan's. They slowly turned to stare at each other as if they were seeing each other for the first time.
"What the hell is he saying, Russel?" she whispered and it was ironic that nothing up tho this point had shocked her more than Legolas' last words.
Instead of her, he turned to the elf and the first signs of anger were on his face, as well. Irulan noted Anne, Mona and Haldir coming towards the group as well and the way things were going, it seemed like a necessary thing. "What the hell ARE you saying?" he hissed. I was obvious that Russel stood no chance against Legolas if fists came to fly, but at the moment, both seemed to have forgotten about that little detail.
"I am saying," Legolas began, his voice like sword swishing over dark velvet, "that you have won. You won, Russel! You took her from me and though I resented you for it, now I'm thinking that I am indeed undeserving of her." He gave a tired, exasperated sigh as the rest of the company arrived, glancing from one figure to the other. When he spoke again, there was sadness in his eyes and he was looking at Irulan. "Congratulations is all I'm going to say."
For Legolas, this was the end of the world. He pursed his lips and shook his head, lowering his gaze. He had just officially given the love of his life away. Not that she had ever been his to give away! Nevertheless, he had openly admitted defeat and the end of whatever there had once been between them. It was supposed to be the right thing, but at the moment he felt like a coward, a betrayer and a loser all at once and the hurt was beyond anything.
"What on earth..." murmured Russel and gazed back at Irulan, who looked at him with a mixture of horror and disbelief.
"Er...is there a problem?" Anne said weakly, hoping for a miracle. If an earthquake dared to hit them this moment, she would probably be the only one not regretting it.
"This...thing," spat Russel, now sounding offended as well as surprised, "has finally lost his mind, that's what happened! He thinks that me and Irulan...I don't know what he thinks! He is mad, I tell you!" The yelling had left him panting and he realized with horror then that Anne, too, might believe this cruel joke. "It's not true!" he hastily added, his voice quivering with a bit of panic.
"Isn't it?" Legolas said suddenly. He dared not look at Irulan, out of pure shame and ache, but he had enough irritation in him to look at Russel. "Anne," he said then, turning to the blonde woman with an aloof gaze and pretending to be indifferent to it all, "isn't it, Anne?"
Now that ALL of them were staring at her, the prayer for an earthquake became rather frantic. Anne swallowed hard, tried to think of a quick prayer, couldn't think of a single one, shifted from foot to foot, stared in turn at Irulan, Russel and Legolas and kept her mouth wisely shut.
A long minute passed. "Anne?" Irulan said then. Her voice held no anger –yet- but rather a hope for support.
Again she squirmed in the face of the inevitable and tried to pray. To no end. Even God seemed to have seen the punishment fit, by the looks of it. "Well...how would I know?" she blurted finally. Both Irulan and Russel's mouth fell open.
"But you DO know," Legolas pressed on, now looking down at her rather icily. She turned to Russel and he was giving her his fiery gaze, a slight dawning in his eyes. Between fire and ice, Anne chose silence again.
Russel took a deep breath and held it for a moment or two before he spoke again. "What did you tell him, Anne?" It sounded tired and though Anne was proud to say ever so often that she had no conscience, the hurt look on his face did funny things to her heart. She had nothing to say, so she stood quiet, feeling suddenly stupid and unnecessary.
"Anne...did you tell Lord Legolas that..." Haldir tried, but the Prince was faster.
"That Russel means to wed Irulan, yes. And I promised not to tell. For that I am sorry, Anne," Legolas said with great confidence, honorably trying to protect her. She should not be the one to suffer for telling the truth, after all. "Alas, I didn't tell them. They guessed it themselves." It was only true and he felt a bit better for it. After all, he hadn't said the very words and he was also glad that it came out in the open and had spoiled Russel's indented romantic proposal. The feeling of satisfied vengeance spread in him.
The yell from Russel was certainly not the expected reaction. "She WHAT??!!"
The shout was so loud that both Irulan and Legolas were startled off. They stared at each other while a moment passed. Then again: "That's IT!!"
Russel literally threw himself at a shocked Anne. If not for Haldir, he probably would have succeeded in grabbing her, too. "If I get my hands on you!" seethed Russel a few minutes later, now gaining back his calm, but losing nothing of his fury. He attempted to jump, but Haldir blocked him, rather efficiently- though the man seemed to be oblivious to his presence.
"Calm down! This is not a matter to be handled with anger!"
"Yes! Listen to Haldir!" Anne shouted, trying to sound unafraid.
"You...You....arrrgghhh!" Again, Russel tried to lurch forward and again he was pressed back.
He tried one more lurch, but Haldir was an impassable wall. Finally he pushed himself back and stood panting, great strain on his face. Many moments later his eyes found Legolas. "All this time, you have deceived us."
Irulan, too, had accusation in her eyes when she met his gaze. Legolas, now not only surprised, but also a bit angry that again the bill for all the crime was delivered to him, hissed in return. "Anne has trusted me with a secret. Surely it's no crime to honor that. Deceived you? Don't YOU talk to me about deception!"
"Enough!" shouted Haldir then and held up his hands. Everyone but Legolas stilled, then, because the fury that was pulsing out of the Marchwarden was red hot and blazing. "Enough with this childishness!" His voice gained almost an inhuman quality and it was strange to hear it echo slightly after he finished talking as the sentence was thrown back and forth amongst the rocks.
"Childishness?" Russel chuckled and shook his head. He took a deep breath and glanced into the distance before he fixed the Marchwarden once more. "My best friend told my other best friend that I mean to marry her. Thinking that I am actually helping her, I have been dragged to a trip and treated very KINDLY" with that, he gave Legolas a poisonous look, "by the Great Lord here. You call this childish?"
For a long time there was only the chirping of birds and the gurgling of the river.
"Eh..." Anne gulped finally. "Irulan...I didn't really say that!" The look she received in return told her plainly that Irulan didn't believe a single word.
To Anne's terror, she turned to Legolas instead. The elf sighed and looked at Anne, who was moving her lips frantically, begging him to lie. 'Why should I lie now?' he thought then. 'I never promised to lie. Also, what do I have to win now? I have lost it all.' He straightened his shoulders. "I am sorry, Anne. But I refuse to lie. And I don't see why you should be ashamed when it was only the truth you were speaking."
Irulan swallowed and looked down on the grass. 'I don't believe it,' she thought, not certain if she should laugh out of fury or go and kill Anne.
"You, Russel," Legolas hissed then, finally free to express his fury about the matter, "should be ashamed of yourself! Even now that the truth has surfaced, you are unable to face it." His crystal orbs fixed Irulan, then. "THIS is what you prefer over me, Irulan? He can not even admit loving you!" There was a certain satisfaction in this act – she should see it. Only maybe then would she regret her treatment of him. 'Maybe even regret enough to take you back, Legolas?' was the amused question in his head.
There was distinctive anger in her eyes when she looked up at him. "As always, your jealousy is crippling your brain, Legolas." He blinked, taken aback by that. STILL she would defend him?! He opened his mouth to say that he wasn't jealous, then realized that it would be a lie and closed it. Thankfully Russel spoke just then:
"The only consolation I have in this madness," sighed Russel, getting up and shaking his jacket clean, "is that you, too, have been fooled. Welcome to the club, Legolas."
Another silence followed and this time Legolas did indeed join the confusion of the rest, leaving only Haldir out. "How do you mea...?"
"I mean that is a blatant, pure, evil lie and worse – you friggin fell for it!" Russel said, glancing at Anne again. "I wouldn't marry Irulan if she offered to pay me for it! Sorry, Irulan."
She just waved her hand in a dismissive gesture, still not looking up. "This can not be true," was the Prince's confused and cautious statement. His mind went over the times Russel and him had talked about Irulan and love and he fixed his eyes on the other man. "Either you have lied to me when you said that you were in love, before, or you are lying now."
"I haven't lied in either case, you fool!" screamed Russel. The atmosphere was so absurd that Legolas did not take offense at the blatant attitude and Russel did not feel intimidation.
"What then..." the elf began, but was cut off again.
"I AM in love. But NOT with Irulan!"
Another interlude of the sound of gurgling stream and chirping birds.
Finally Russel sighed in the thick silence and combed his hand through his hair. When he turned to glance at Anne, there was nothing but tired surrender in his glance. A long moment passed while both Anne and Irulan waited, holding their breath – one in shock, the other anxious to hear a declaration finally come into the light. "But at this moment...I wish it was Irulan. It would have been the RIGHT person," he mumbled, his eyes fixed on the blonde woman.
For another long moment, nothing happened. Finally it was Irulan who broke the immobility and walked up to Russel, taking his hand. He swallowed and looked down at their fingers, his grasp strong with desperation. After going through humiliation, being pushed around during the whole trip, resented by Legolas, worrying for Irulan, hiding the truth from Anne...he felt depleted and worse than he had ever felt in his entire life.
"Sssshhhh...it's okay," she whispered and he barely kept himself from whimpering. He inched closer and leaned his head on her shoulder, giving her a fierce embrace and Irulan mirrored it, patting him on the back.
Legolas and Haldir exchanged glances and found nothing to say to each other. Anne looked too dumbfounded to act in any manner.
"Come," Irulan whispered to him and without giving the others a glance, led him away. No one had the heart to interfere.
"I can not believe you did that to me," hissed Legolas finally and with that, Anne turned to lock eyes with him.
"Sorry, Legolas," she whispered, sounding at the brink of tears.
"You ruined everything!" he cut her off, looking incredibly calm, but also very furious. "Everything that has led us to this point is your fault, Anne."
She opened her mouth to object and say that she was not the one to squish Russel against a building in Chinatown or to take Amanda out for dinner while trying to mend his relationship with Irulan, but at the last moment, decided against it and shut it. Instead, she managed a weak shrug that spoke of defeat. "I did it to bring you guys together."
"Instead, you tore us apart for good!" was the last hiss before the Prince walked away.